雅思寫作題材解析及習作修改（十）
——政府類

文/唐老雅

一、雅思“政府類”題材考情分析

雅思寫作考試中，“政府類”話題每年出現(xiàn)3－5次，內(nèi)容涉及非常廣泛，往往與其他話題結(jié)合起來考。常見考點如下：

1. 政府投資。包括：

（1）政府資金撥款應該首先考慮醫(yī)療還是其他方面？

（2）為解決交通阻塞問題，政府是否應該提供免費公交？

（3）政府資金是否應該用于更重要的事情而不是藝術(shù)？

（4）政府的資金支持是否應該僅僅提供給科學研究？

（5）政府支付大學學費是否利大于弊？

（6）政府應該在每個鄉(xiāng)鎮(zhèn)建設(shè)公共圖書館嗎？

（7）應該政府提供資金贍養(yǎng)老人，還是老年人自己承擔？

2. 政府的行政措施。包括：

（1）政府鼓勵在鄉(xiāng)村發(fā)展商業(yè)的優(yōu)缺點。

（2）為使城鎮(zhèn)更有吸引力，政府應該在城鎮(zhèn)增設(shè)雕塑和藝術(shù)作品嗎？

（3）政府實行義務(wù)教育的優(yōu)缺點。

3. 國與國之間。包括：

（1）政府應該倡導國與國之間的商業(yè)文化交流嗎？

（2）給貧窮國家提供救援的利弊何在？

（3）發(fā)展中國家應該引進外國企業(yè)還是拒絕外國企業(yè)以保護國內(nèi)企業(yè)？

4. 政府與人們生活。包括：

（1）對健康飲食負責的應該是政府還是個人？

（2）年輕人是否適合在政府中擔任重要職位？

（3）為提高人民生活水平，發(fā)展中國家政府應該引進科技還是發(fā)展免費教育？

二、雅思“政府類”題材經(jīng)典考題

1. Some people think it is more important to plant trees in open areas in towns and cities than to provide more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2016/08/27)

2. Some people think charity organisations should help people in great need wherever they live. However, others think they should help people in their own country. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.(2016/08/20)

3. Some people think health care should be made free for all people, while others believe people should pay for health care by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (2016/03/19)

4. In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traf fic by imposing a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (2016/01/30)

5. Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe that taxpayers’ money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (2015/07/23)

6. Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? (2015/06/13)

三、雅思“政府類”題材習作修改

題目

Government should offer financial support to the care of the old people,while others think old people should save money for their own future life. Give your opinion on this topic.

學生習作

With the development of the whole world, people’s living standards im-proved a lot in the past few decades. So some people think it is unnecessary for our government to offer financial support to the care of old people, in turn they should save money for their own future life. As far as I am concerned, I strongly suggest that our government should offer financial support to the care of the old people.

Firstly, despite the people’s quality has highly improved, there are still many people who live a life under the average daily living standards, especially the people live in the less developing areas which should be supported by government.Among these people, the old people are poorer in all aspects. There are no living resources since they can’t make any money, and they can’t expect their children neither, for their children make a tough living, too. So sometimes you can see a very old woman or man in their 80s or even 90s pick up litters on the streets just for food and clothing.

Secondly, offering financial support to old people can increase the whole society’s satisfaction about their life, which is bene ficial for the government to create a more harmonious society. Maybe many people even needn’t the financial support, they can get the signal from the government who tries to make people’s life happier.

So by the above mentioned I can draw a safe conclusion the government should offer financial support to the old people.

評分：5.5

老雅評改

本題的核心問題是：政府是否該出錢贍養(yǎng)老年人，還是民眾應該年輕時自己存錢，老了自己養(yǎng)自己？這個話題在中國現(xiàn)階段很熱門，相關(guān)討論也比較多，觀點五花八門，難以統(tǒng)一。政府出錢贍養(yǎng)當然是好事，能夠解決很多問題，比如很多老年人老無所養(yǎng)，他們年輕的時候掙的錢都用來培養(yǎng)孩子，也就是社會的下一代了，因此，如果政府不出錢贍養(yǎng)，他們的生活就會很慘淡，這個從小處講，不利于家庭的幸福，從大處講，就可能引起社會的不和諧。然而，政府的收入也是有限的，還要投資教育、文化、醫(yī)療等其他領(lǐng)域，因此，是否該投錢或者怎樣投錢來贍養(yǎng)老人，是一個值得思考的問題。這樣，對于政府投資類話題，我們的思考方向就是：首先，政府投資能解決什么問題（投資的好處）？其次，政府投資會影響到其他哪些領(lǐng)域的投資（投資的壞處）？最后，投資的好處和壞處相比較，你的觀點傾向于投資還是不投資，或者你有什么更好的建議及其原因？

本學生習作采取一邊倒論證方式，即完全贊同政府應該承擔贍養(yǎng)老人的經(jīng)濟責任，并提出了兩個支持該論點的理由：首先，有些貧窮的老人需要政府的資助；其次，政府資助老人有助于社會和諧。這樣寫，從內(nèi)容上講顯得比較單薄，因為完全沒有涉及政府資助帶來的負面影響，但這樣寫邏輯比較清楚，如果英文表達水平一般，不妨就這么寫，寫好了至少也能得到6分。本習作語言基本正確，有一些地方表達不太通順，影響了得分。

第1段

With the development of the whole world, people’s living standards improved a lot in the past few decades. So some people think it is unnecessary for our government to offer financial support to the care of old people, in turn they should save money for their own future life. As far as I am concerned, I strongly suggest that our government should offer financial support to the care of the old people.

[修改 ] With the development of the whole world, people’s living standard has improved a great deal in the past few decades. So some people think it is unnecessary for the government to offer financial support to the care of old people,instead, they should save money for their own future life. As far as I am concerned, I strongly suggest that the government should financially support the old people.

[評析] 本段為開頭段，先從人們生活水平提高開始引出某些人的觀點，然后提出自己的觀點，符合“一邊倒”作文的基本格式。（1）improve不適合用過去時，因為后面是in the past few decades（在過去幾十年里），這不是一個表示過去的時間概念，而是包括了現(xiàn)在，因此應該用現(xiàn)在完成時。（2）in turn 表示“反過來”，而這里表達轉(zhuǎn)折之意，應該用instead。（3）在同一段里用兩次offer financial support to the care of old people，這不合適，應該考慮替換表達法，比如 financially support the old people，或者financially take care of the old people。

第2段

Firstly, despite the people’s quality has highly improved, there are still many people who live a life under the average daily living standards, especially the people live in the less developing areas which should be supported by government.Among these people, the old people are poorer in all aspects. There are no living resources since they can’t make any money, and they can’t expect their children neither, for their children make a tough living, too. So sometimes you can see a very old woman or man in their 80s or even 90s pick up litters on the streets just for food and clothing.

[修改 ] Firstly, despite that people’s life in general has become much better,there are still many people who live below the average living standard, especially the people in the under developed areas, among whom the old people are the poorest. These old people do not have adequate means of living because they do not work any more and can’t make money, neither can they expect their children to help them, for their children can barely make both ends meet. So sometimes you can see a very old woman or man in their 80s or even 90s picking up litters on the streets just for food and clothing. I believe these old people should be financially taken care of by the government.

[評析] 本段論述政府應該資助那些貧窮地區(qū)的老人，因為這些老人生活沒有著落。習作內(nèi)容比較充實，有一些個性化的細節(jié)描寫，但語言失誤比較多。（1）the less developing areas是錯誤表達，應該為the under developed areas。（2）which 從句所指不明，政府到底是支持這些地區(qū)，還是支持這些人？（3）前兩句被合成了一個長句。（4）原文their children make a tough living表達比較生硬，老雅用一個比較地道的短語來代替；their children can barely make both ends meet。（4）本段寫完了貧困地區(qū)老人的困境后，卻忘記初衷，沒有給出一個結(jié)論，老雅增加一句I believe these old people should be financially taken care of by the government，這是段落點睛之筆。

第3段

Secondly, offering financial support to old people can increase the whole society’s satisfaction about their life, which is bene ficial for the government to create a more harmonious society. Maybe many people even needn’t the financial support, they can get the signal from the government who tries to make people’s life happier.

[修改] Secondly, offering financial assistance to old people can increase the whole society’s sense of satisfaction about their life, which is bene ficial for the government to create a more harmonious society. Even though many people do not need the financial help, they can get the message that the government is trying to make their life happier. I have seen many positive changes in their attitude towards the government after the old people have received the financial support.

[評析]本段寫政府資助老人后，社會更和諧。從結(jié)構(gòu)上講，習作僅僅在寫道理，沒有結(jié)合自身經(jīng)歷進行例證，使這段內(nèi)容顯得程式化，單薄而沒有個性。為此，老雅在段落結(jié)尾增加了一句。其他修改包括：（1）這段繼續(xù)使用 financial support，共2次，其實，從避免重復的角度，可以將它們替換為 financial help、 financial assistance 等。（2）Maybe many people even needn’t the financial support是純中文式表達，這里表示一個讓步，最好用even though來引出。（3）who引導的從句修飾government不妥當，這里應該用一個從句修飾signal / message，所以修改為they can get the message that the government is trying to make their life happier。

第4段

So by the above mentioned I can draw a safe conclusion the government should offer financial support to the old people.

[修改] It is important, therefore, for the government to give financial support to the old people, because it can help many old-aged citizens out of their financial dif ficulty and meanwhile help create a better society.

[評析] 這個結(jié)尾段無疑是倉促無力的，是被扣分的重要原因之一。結(jié)尾必須總結(jié)前文討論的主要觀點，在語言上還要盡量避免與前文完全重復。□

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