幽默小故事

張恒

Farmers Patch1

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well， but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought， he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day， the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read， “Warning！ One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide2.” The kids ran off， made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmers sign. When the farmer returned， he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing， but the sign next to his read， “Now there are two！”

農(nóng)民的土地

從前有一個(gè)農(nóng)民種了很多西瓜。他的西瓜種得不錯(cuò)，但是當(dāng)?shù)貛讉€(gè)孩子總來(lái)?yè)v亂，他們晚上溜到他的西瓜地里偷吃西瓜。經(jīng)過(guò)深思熟慮之后，他想出了一個(gè)好主意，覺得肯定能嚇走這些孩子。他做了一個(gè)標(biāo)牌放在西瓜地里。第二天，那些孩子出現(xiàn)了，他們看到標(biāo)牌上寫著：“警告！這塊地里有一個(gè)西瓜已經(jīng)被注射了氰化物（劇毒）！”孩子們跑開后也做了一個(gè)標(biāo)牌放到了農(nóng)民的那塊標(biāo)牌旁邊。農(nóng)民回來(lái)后去查看自家的西瓜地，發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)西瓜都沒丟，但是他的標(biāo)牌旁邊有個(gè)標(biāo)牌上面寫著：“現(xiàn)在有兩個(gè)了！”

Two Potatos

One day two potatos， who were best friends， were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb3 and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured potato called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured potato was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and painful wait， the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured potato， “I have good news， and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through. The bad news is that hes going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”

兩只土豆

一天，兩只土豆，一對(duì)摯友，沿著街道一起走著。他們走下馬路沿兒的時(shí)候，一輛快速行駛的轎車從街角拐過(guò)來(lái)，撞飛了他們中的一個(gè)。沒受傷的土豆趕緊撥打911，盡全力幫助他受傷的朋友。受傷的土豆被送往醫(yī)院急救，并馬上接受了手術(shù)治療。在一段漫長(zhǎng)而痛苦的等待之后，醫(yī)生終于出現(xiàn)了。他告訴沒受傷的土豆：“我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息。好消息是你的朋友會(huì)度過(guò)難關(guān)。壞消息是他下半輩子都會(huì)是一個(gè)植物人了！”endprint