幽默小故事

山東省梁山縣楊營(yíng)中學(xué) 于瑩供稿

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幽默小故事

山東省梁山縣楊營(yíng)中學(xué) 于瑩供稿

Wine Mixed with Water

A man was drinking in a bar and suddenly he cried angrily,“The wine is mixed with water!”

“What are you crying for?”said the bar owner,“Have I forced you to pay for the water?”

酒里滲水了

酒吧間里，一個(gè)男人在喝酒。突然他氣憤地喊起來(lái)：“這酒里摻水了！”

“你喊什么？”酒吧老板說(shuō)道，“我強(qiáng)迫你付水錢了嗎？”

Old Paper

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a pile1of papers,yelling,“Read all about it.Fifty people are taken in! Fifty people are taken in!”

Curious,a man walked over,bought a paper,and checked the front page.What he saw was yesterday’s paper.

The man said,“Hey,this is an old paper,where is the story?”

The newsboy ignored2him and went on calling out,“Read all about it.Fiftyone people are taken in!”

舊報(bào)紙

街角處有一個(gè)報(bào)童守著一大摞報(bào)紙?jiān)诖舐暯匈u：“讀報(bào)啦！50人受騙了！50人受騙了！”

一個(gè)男人好奇地走上前去買了一份報(bào)紙，看了看頭版，發(fā)現(xiàn)這是一份昨天的報(bào)紙。

這個(gè)男人說(shuō)：“嘿，這是舊報(bào)紙，哪里有這則報(bào)道？”

報(bào)童不理睬他，繼續(xù)高聲叫賣：“讀報(bào)啦！51人受騙了！”A Dead Fly

Mr.Smith:Waiter,there is a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter:Yes,sir,I know—it’s the heat that kills it.

一只死蒼蠅

史密斯先生：服務(wù)員，我的湯里有一只蒼蠅。

服務(wù)員：是的，先生，我知道了，它可能是被燙死的。

It’s Not That“May I borrow your record

player tonight?” a man asked his

neighbour.

“Sure. Do you want to listen to some music?”

“No,”he answered, “Tonight I

want to have some peace.”

不是那樣的“今晚我可以借用一下你的錄音機(jī)嗎？”一個(gè)男子問他的鄰居。

“當(dāng)然可以。你要聽音樂嗎？”“不，”他回答?！敖裢砦蚁氚察o一下?！?/p>

The Common Practice

“John,”said his teacher, “if coal is selling at $60 per ton and you pay your seller $240, how many tons will he bring you?”

“A little over three tons, sir,” said John quickly.

“Oh, John, that isn’t right.”said the teacher.

“No, sir, I know it isn’t,”said John, “but they all do it.”慣例

“約翰，”老師問道，“如果一噸煤賣60 美元，你給賣家240 美元，可以買幾噸？”

“老師，三噸多一點(diǎn)?！奔s翰立刻回答。

“哦，約翰，不對(duì)?！崩蠋熣f(shuō)?！笆堑?，老師，我知道不對(duì)，”約翰說(shuō)，“但是他們都這樣做?！?/p>

X Rays

Examining the X rays,the doctor said,“Nothing to worry about.You should live to be ninety.”

“But Doctor,”the patient said,“I am ninety.”

“See?I was right!”the doctor said.

X光片

醫(yī)生一邊檢查X光片，一邊說(shuō)：“沒有什么好擔(dān)心的。你應(yīng)該可以活到90歲?！?/p>

“可是，醫(yī)生，”病人說(shuō)，“我今年已經(jīng)90歲了?！笨窗桑课艺f(shuō)的沒錯(cuò)吧！”醫(yī)生回答。Chasing3the Hat

A near-sighted4man lost his hat in a strong wind.He hurried to chase.A woman screamed5from a nearby farmhouse,“What are you doing there?”

“Getting my hat,”he replied.

“Your hat,”cried out the woman,“That’s my little black hen you’re chasing.”

追趕帽子

一個(gè)近視眼的人在一場(chǎng)大風(fēng)中丟了他的帽子，他忙去追趕。附近的一家農(nóng)舍里傳來(lái)一個(gè)婦女的尖聲叫喊：“你在干什么？”

“追我的帽子?！?/p>

“你的帽子！”婦女驚叫，“你正在追趕的是我的小黑母雞?！?/p>

A Woman and Her Three Dogs

A woman had three dogs, one called“Earthquake”, another called“Tidal Waves6”, and the third called “Lie”.

One day the dogs ran away from the woman. The woman began to call, “Earthquake! ”All the people got very scared and began running. Then she cried out,“Tidal Waves! ”All the people started climbing up the trees.

Then she called out,“Lie.”And then the people came and hit the woman.女人和她的三只狗

一位婦女養(yǎng)了三只狗，一只狗叫“地震”，另一只叫“海嘯”，第三只叫“謊話”。

一天，三只狗跑開了。這位婦女高聲叫道：“地震！”所有的人都萬(wàn)分驚慌，開始逃跑。

接著，她又大聲喊：“海嘯！”所有的人都爬上了樹。最后，她喊道：“謊話！”于是人們過去將她痛打了一頓。