一張完美的照片

By+Nell+Wright+++++++張京晉

I was on a vacation on Star Island， but things were different this year. I was in a wheelchair. My legs were paralyzed1） from a rock-climbing accident the previous summer. Angry and frustrated to walk or climb， I wallowed in2） self-pity until my grandma said sternly， "Find another topic， Ben." Unwillingly， I wheeled off to fulfill a photography project for school—an assignment I'd enjoy if I wasn't so unhappy.

Near the hotel， I met an older couple， Susan and Mark. They showed me how to use their folding kayak3） and offered to let me borrow it. "You paddle4） around， and we'll keep our eyes on you." said Mark. They kindly lifted me in and as I paddled toward the headland5）， I experienced a sense of excitement； I felt one with water. It's almost the same feeling I used to have while climbing a rock on the island.

This was the same island I had explored on foot， but from the water it seemed entirely new. I wished I hadn't left my camera back at the dock. I wanted to capture the waves falling back toward me off the rocks， and the ducks staring at one another as they rolled up and down the swells6）. I saw a seal too far off to photograph， and a pair of funny birds with bright orange beaks7）.

Mark started down to the beach. I paddled toward him， keeping the boat across the swells， as Susan had suggested.

"Saw you take on8） water，" Mark called from the shore.

Susan waded9） out up to her knees in the water and held the kayak steady for me. "Mark， we should show Ben how to get out when he flips10）."

"This boat can flip？"

"Don't worry. It doesn't happen very often，" she said.

Mark rolled up his pants and came into the water. "If she does， stay with the boat for visibility and flotation. Scream your head off11）. But first， to get out from under， swivel12） around in the seat， straighten your back and pull yourself toward the stern13）."

He turned me by the shoulders so I could see the stern.

"I get it，" I said.

"If we were in warmer water， I'd make you practice. For now， stay close to shore and never go out without someone watching you."

"Yes， Captain." I saluted14）.

He gave the boat a little push and hurried out of the icy water.

Susan glanced up toward the hotel. "I hear the tea bell. Take her back to the float， Ben， and we'll meet you."

There went my chance to paddle until I was extremely tired， but Grandma was expecting me for tea. I didn't want Mark or Susan to think I wouldn't do the most responsible thing with their boat， so I headed back to the dock.

Mark and Susan easily helped me into the wheelchair.

"I'm getting you wet，" I said. "Sorry."

"No matter to me，" Mark said. "If you don't want to get wet， why go to sea？"

"What does that mean？" I asked.

"Something like， it's nothing to get wet. If you choose to spend your time on the ocean， how can you avoid it？"

"I see，" I said.

The island had worked on my spirit. It had been a year since I'd felt that there was anything I wanted to do. That afternoon I had actually forgotten about the accident for an hour or two. Was I happy again？ Had that short boat ride healed something inside me？

On the following days， we left Susan in one of the big rocking chairs. Or Mark would offer to stay behind， and Susan adventured with me. I took my camera out on a calm day and shot a lot of rocks and birds.

When I got home， I went right to my computer. School started in two days and I had completely forgotten the ninth-grade project， so I had to download and review my photographs. I hoped that I would find something to use， something that wasn't birds， rocks or sunsets. Something that described me.

I thought I must have wasted the first shot； it seemed empty. Curious， I enlarged it. Along the bottom， the float with an empty wheelchair appeared out of the splotches15）. Beyond lay the wide harbor with only a hint16） of a line for the kayak， far out on the water. Susan must have taken it on the first day.

It really was me， the spirit part flying away from the wheelchair part.

"Mom， come see my photos！"

She entered my bedroom and stood at my shoulder.

"That's the ferry dock at Star Island." I pointed to the line.

"What's that？" she asked.

"That's me."

"What are you doing？"

"Paddling a kayak. You know， moving on."

我正在星島度假，但今年情況有所不同：我坐著輪椅，我的雙腿因?yàn)槿ツ晗奶炫蕩r時(shí)發(fā)生的一次意外而癱瘓了。我又惱火又沮喪、絕望，不愿意走動(dòng)或是攀爬，沉溺于自艾自憐之中，直到外婆嚴(yán)肅地對(duì)我說(shuō)：“本，找點(diǎn)別的事兒做?！蔽倚牟桓是椴辉傅?fù)u著輪椅離開(kāi)，去完成學(xué)校的攝影作業(yè)——要不是因?yàn)樾那檫@么糟糕，這個(gè)作業(yè)我還是會(huì)很樂(lè)意去做的。

在酒店附近，我遇到了一對(duì)老夫婦——蘇珊和馬克。他們教我如何使用他們那艘折疊式皮劃艇，而且主動(dòng)提出把皮劃艇借給我?！澳銊澲マD(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)，我們會(huì)看著你的?！瘪R克說(shuō)。他們體貼地把我抬進(jìn)了皮劃艇內(nèi)。我劃著槳駛向海角，感到一陣興奮，覺(jué)得自己與海水融為了一體。這和我過(guò)去在島上攀巖時(shí)的那種感覺(jué)幾乎一模一樣。

這座島嶼是我曾徒步探索過(guò)的那座島，但從海上看過(guò)去，它似乎是全新的。我真希望我沒(méi)把相機(jī)留在碼頭。我想拍下那些擊打在巖石上又朝我回落的海浪，還有那些隨著涌浪上下起伏而依然相互對(duì)望的鴨子們。我看見(jiàn)了一只海豹，它離我太遠(yuǎn)，相機(jī)都無(wú)法拍到。我還看到一對(duì)奇特的小鳥(niǎo)，它們的喙是亮橙色的。

馬克朝著海灘走了下來(lái)，按照蘇珊教我的，我控制著皮劃艇從涌浪中穿過(guò)，朝他劃了過(guò)去。

“看到你和海水較量啦?！瘪R克在岸邊喊道。

蘇珊艱難地趟過(guò)及膝的海水，幫我保持皮劃艇的平衡?！榜R克，我們應(yīng)該教教本翻船時(shí)要怎么逃生?！?/p>

“這船會(huì)翻？”

“不要擔(dān)心，這種事不經(jīng)常發(fā)生?！彼f(shuō)。

馬克卷起褲腿，走到水里?！叭绻娴姆耍秃痛谝黄?，以便你能浮在水上并能讓人看到。然后拼命呼喊。但要想從翻了的船底下掙脫出來(lái)，首先你得在座位里轉(zhuǎn)個(gè)身，把背挺直，將自己拉向船尾?！?/p>

他扶著我的肩膀幫我轉(zhuǎn)了個(gè)身，好讓我能看到船尾。

“我明白了?！蔽艺f(shuō)。

“要是這水再暖和一點(diǎn)，我就讓你練練了。眼下，你就在海岸附近劃艇，沒(méi)人看著你可千萬(wàn)不要出海?！?/p>

“是，船長(zhǎng)?！蔽揖戳藗€(gè)禮。

他輕輕推了一下皮劃艇，急忙走出了冰冷的海水。

蘇珊抬頭瞥了一眼酒店?！拔衣?tīng)到下午茶的鈴聲了。把船劃回浮碼頭那兒去，本，我們會(huì)在那兒接你?！?/p>

這下我本來(lái)可以劃船劃到筋疲力盡的機(jī)會(huì)就沒(méi)了。不過(guò)外婆還在等著我喝茶呢，我也不想讓馬克和蘇珊覺(jué)得我對(duì)他們的皮劃艇連最起碼的責(zé)任心都沒(méi)有，所以我朝碼頭劃了回去。

馬克和蘇珊輕松地幫我坐進(jìn)了輪椅。

“我害得你們身上都濕了，”我說(shuō)，“對(duì)不起?！?/p>

“我沒(méi)關(guān)系啊，”馬克說(shuō)，“如果你不想把身上弄濕，那何必出海呢？”

“這是什么意思呢？”我問(wèn)。

“意思大概就是弄濕了也沒(méi)什么大不了。如果你選擇去海上玩，你怎么可能不濕身呢？”

“我明白了?！蔽艺f(shuō)。

這座小島讓我振作了起來(lái)。一年來(lái)我總是覺(jué)得沒(méi)有什么事情是我想做的。那天下午，有那么一兩個(gè)小時(shí)，我竟然忘記了那次意外。我重拾快樂(lè)了嗎？難道那次短暫的皮劃艇之旅治愈了我內(nèi)心的某些創(chuàng)傷？

接下來(lái)的幾天里，要么是我們把蘇珊留在某個(gè)大搖椅里坐著，要么是馬克主動(dòng)提出留下來(lái)，讓蘇珊陪我去冒險(xiǎn)。有一天風(fēng)平浪靜，我?guī)Я讼鄼C(jī)出海，拍了很多礁石和鳥(niǎo)兒的照片。

回到家后，我直接來(lái)到電腦前。還有兩天學(xué)校就開(kāi)學(xué)了，而我卻把九年級(jí)的作業(yè)忘了個(gè)一干二凈，所以我必須把拍的照片下載下來(lái)看一遍。我希望可以找到一張能用得上的照片，那上面不是鳥(niǎo)兒、礁石或落日，而是能形容我現(xiàn)在狀態(tài)的東西。

我以為第一張照片肯定是讓我拍廢了，因?yàn)檎掌雌饋?lái)空空如也。出于好奇，我把照片放大。沿著照片底部，那個(gè)浮碼頭從斑斑點(diǎn)點(diǎn)中浮現(xiàn)出來(lái)，浮碼頭上還有一把空的輪椅。遠(yuǎn)處是寬闊的港口，港口里只有一條細(xì)線，那正是在遠(yuǎn)離海岸水面上的皮劃艇。這肯定是蘇珊第一天拍的照片。

那真的是我，那個(gè)靈魂飛離了輪椅上的我。

“媽媽，來(lái)看我的照片！”

媽媽走進(jìn)我的臥室，站在我的一側(cè)。

“那是星島的渡船碼頭?！蔽抑钢菞l線說(shuō)。

“那是什么？”她問(wèn)。

“那是我。”

“你在干嗎？”

“劃皮劃艇。你知道的，乘風(fēng)破浪。”