How to Enjoy the Success of Others

By David White

在社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)高度發(fā)達(dá)的時(shí)代，人們很容易去過(guò)度關(guān)注周圍人的生活，由此產(chǎn)生的攀比無(wú)處不在。生活中，人們都習(xí)慣將自己最風(fēng)光的一面展現(xiàn)給大家，可是有誰(shuí)能看到風(fēng)光背后的東西呢？很多時(shí)候，得到的多意味著承擔(dān)的也多。可能是我們知道自己的缺憾，所以總喜歡拿那些看上去完美的人和自己做比較，把他們當(dāng)作人生的榜樣和坐標(biāo)。不要羨慕別人的精彩，也不要嫉妒他人的成功，將所有的羨慕和嫉妒轉(zhuǎn)化成你努力的方向，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)全新的自己。

First thing in the morning, I check Twitter, only to have it list off for me all the ways I’ve already fallen behind.1. 早上我做的第一件事情就是刷推特，結(jié)果上面列出的內(nèi)容卻讓我覺得我已經(jīng)遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)落后了。fall behind: 落后，跟不上。A colleague has released2. release: 發(fā)布。a new e-book.Two of my design heroes are announcing a collaborative3. collaborative: 合作的，協(xié)作的。project. One of my old college buddies has posted a video trailer for an upcoming online program, and she looks phenomenal, polished, charismatic (I’m still in bed, blearyeyed, and definitely not at my most telegenic.)4. buddy: 伙伴；trailer: 預(yù)告片； phenomenal:非凡的；polished: 優(yōu)美的；charismatic:超凡魅力的；bleary-eyed: 睡眼惺忪的；telegenic: 上鏡的。

Am I really falling behind? Is anybody actually keeping score?5. keep score: 保留得分，和競(jìng)爭(zhēng)者同步發(fā)展。Did any of these people post any of the updates with the intent of making me feel bad? Of course not.But if I’m not careful, it’s terribly easy to view my social media streams6. media stream: 媒體流。as a constant reminder of all the stuff I’m not doing, dreams I’m not fulfilling7. fulfill: 實(shí)現(xiàn)，完成。, and rooms I’ve failed to decorate.

This isn’t a social media problem. It’s a comparison problem.There isn’t a single thing about Twitter—or any of the other social media platforms I use—that’s designed to make me ask how I’m measuring up8. measure up: 合格，符合標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。. That’s all me—an automatic, internal mechanism9. internal mechanism: 內(nèi)部機(jī)制。.It’s part ego, part creative drive, and part deep soul yearning.10. ego: 自我；yearning: 渴望，向往。

And I know it’s not just me. I’ve spent the past year collaborating with leadership coach Tanya Geisler on researching how comparison works , what it costs us, and what it can teach us—and we’ve discovered that it runs rampant among just about every creative, growth-oriented person we know.11. 在過(guò)去的一年里，我和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力課程導(dǎo)師塔尼婭·蓋斯勒共同研究“攀比”是如何進(jìn)行的，它讓我們付出何等代價(jià)，又教會(huì)我們什么——我們發(fā)現(xiàn)它猖獗于我們所認(rèn)識(shí)的每個(gè)富有創(chuàng)造力、有增長(zhǎng)潛力的人身上。run rampant: 猖狂，泛濫成災(zāi)；growth-oriented: 有增長(zhǎng)潛力的。In our comparison-soaked culture, it’s hard to avoid looking around at what other people are doing with their short time on earth, and slipping into “How am I stacking up?” mode.12. 在我們這種攀比成風(fēng)的文化中，我們很難做到不去留意周圍其他人都在短時(shí)間內(nèi)做些什么，然后陷入一種思考“我過(guò)得怎樣”的模式中。comparison-soaked: 攀比成風(fēng)的；on earth: 究竟，到底；slip into: 陷入；stack up:（生活）過(guò)得，進(jìn)展。Here’s what we learned:

Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.

The first time I heard this excellent, if hard-to-implement,advice, I was suffering from a terrible case of envy. Some competitor or other had achieved an inspiring degree of success and I was complaining to a mentor13. mentor: 導(dǎo)師。about how unachievable it seemed to me. Her warning took me aback14. take aback: 使大吃一驚。. “Look,” she told me,“You have no idea what it took for them to get there. Don’t act like this was unearned, effortless, or pure dumb luck.15. unearned: 不勞而獲的； dumb luck: 不費(fèi)多少心思和力氣得來(lái)的好運(yùn)。And for Pete’s sake, don’t go thinking that because you read the press release,you have a single clue about what’s really going on behind the scenes.”16. for pete’s sake: 看在上帝的面上；behind the scenes: 在幕后，秘密地。

She was absolutely right. I knew better, yet in the moment that I’d heard the news, I fell prey to reactive thinking and oversimplification.17. fall prey to: 深受……之害；oversimplification: 過(guò)度簡(jiǎn)單化。Because it’s much easier to look at someone “up there” and envy what they’ve got than it is to ask the tougher questions:

* What do they have that I wish I had?

* What do I admire about them? What are they modelling for me?

* What have they done to get where they are today?

* How does this relate to my own values?

When we reflect on these questions,we shift immediately out of comparison mode and turn inwards, to face the heart of the matter: our own desires and fears.

Transform Comparison into Celebration18. celebration: 頌揚(yáng)。.

Admiration and envy are responses that point us toward what we value most.19. 羨慕和嫉妒可以反映出我們最重視的是什么。And when we become aware of what we value, we are much better positioned to create a life that’s richly satisfying.

If you notice yourself admiring people who take creative risks,bring your full attention to the part of you that wants to dare more greatly. If you catch yourself envying the folks in your circles who are at ease with self-promotion, take some time to reflect on how you might share your triumphs in a way that feels totally YOU. Heck, if you’re obsessing over tennis players’ forearms, it could be a sign that you’re ready to revamp your fitness regime.20. heck: hell的委婉說(shuō)法，表示強(qiáng)調(diào)；obsess: 使……困擾；revamp: 改進(jìn)，翻新；fitness regime: 健身計(jì)劃。You get the idea.

Use the Success of Others as a Mirror.

Comparison can be a dark, stuck place, but only if you let it be.There’s gold to be found in your comparison habit, if you’re willing to look for it. The light we see in others can help us see our own—and appreciate it.

So the next time you catch yourself admiring or envying someone’s success, gifts, or particular brand of radiance—be it in a professional context, a personal one, or simply perusing magazine covers—take a moment to consider:21. 下次當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在羨慕或者嫉妒別人的成功、天賦或者特有的魅力時(shí)—— 無(wú)論在工作場(chǎng)所、私人場(chǎng)合，還是在看雜志封面時(shí)——花點(diǎn)時(shí)間去考慮以下幾點(diǎn)。radiance:光輝；context: 場(chǎng)合，環(huán)境；peruse:（心不在焉地）瀏覽。

* What qualities in them inspire me?

* Where do I currently embody22. embody: 包含，體現(xiàn)。these qualities?

* How might my expression of these qualities differ from theirs?

* What can I learn from my desire to embody these qualities more fully?Your Twitter feed may never look quite the same.