Moms Are Like That母親的心

by Sallie A.Rodman

烏蕪 譯

Moms Are Like That母親的心

Track 4

by Sallie A.Rodman

烏蕪 譯

都說婆婆與媳婦是天敵，因?yàn)樗齻兌荚跔帄Z著同一個(gè)男人。婆婆的諸多挑剔與百般刁難常常是惡劣婆媳關(guān)系的開端，然而當(dāng)母親的總是希望自己孩子能夠得到最好的一切，這或許就是婆婆為難媳婦的原因吧，當(dāng)媳婦理解到了這一點(diǎn)，或許就能做到多一分理解，多一分寬容，因?yàn)橄眿D通常還有著另一個(gè)身份一一母親!

My sweetheart Paul and I had1)elopedto2)Yuma3)on a whim.It was the most romantic and thrilling weekend of my life.Leaving town was easy but coming back on Sunday night to face our parents was hard.We had a huge wedding planned for the following September—but this was May, and Paul was home on his frst leave from the Marine Reserves4)boot camp.

Paul’s parents joined us at my parents’ house the evening we returned.We hoped this would be a happy meeting of our newly merged families.

Seated around the living room, Paul’s mother was the frst to speak.

“I don’t think Paul and Sallie should stay married! They are too young.How will he support a wife? Where will they live? We need to get this marriage5)annulled!” my mother-in-law shouted to the family members assembled at my parents’ house.

我和愛人保羅心血來潮，逃到了尤馬。那是我人生中最浪漫、最刺激的一個(gè)周末。離開我們的城市很容易，但要在星期天回來面對(duì)我們的父母卻很困難。到了九月的時(shí)候，我們計(jì)劃舉辦一場盛大的婚禮，但現(xiàn)在才五月，這是保羅第一次從海洋自然保護(hù)區(qū)的新兵訓(xùn)練營那里回來。

我們回來的那個(gè)晚上，保羅的父母過來和我父母見面。我們希望這新結(jié)成的一家能愉快會(huì)面。

在客廳坐下后，保羅的母親第一個(gè)開口說話了。

“我認(rèn)為保羅和薩莉就不應(yīng)該結(jié)婚！他們太年輕了。他怎么養(yǎng)得起一個(gè)妻子？他們要住哪里？我們應(yīng)該解除這段婚姻關(guān)系。我婆婆對(duì)聚在我父母房子里的家人大喊道。

BAM! My father had let her rant for several minutes before his fst hit the coffee table with a loud slap.“If these kids want to stay married, then by God they’re gonna stay married,” he yelled back.

He turned to Paul.“Do you want to stay married?”Turning to me, he said, “Sallie, do you want to stay married?”We both nodded yes, our eyes wide at all this drama.

“Then they can live with us until Paul gets home permanently,” my dad said in a calmer tone.Case closed!

Mrs.Rodman had been6)thwartingme at every turn, trying to postpone the wedding plans.She even went so far as to tell Paul we were too young and we were from two different classes and he needed to marry a college graduate.On and on the objections went.

Sure, I was only nineteen and had one year of college.But we were both from middle-class families, although I admit I probably had a few more material advantages since Paul came from a family of eleven.

We did stay married, but to7)appeasehis mother we lived apart one week until we could be married in our church.After Paul’s basic training as a8)reservistwas over, he went back to his job.

My new mother-in-law didn’t come around much since Paul’s father was ill.They had a family tragedy and their house burned down.She was working and running in so many directions.

Meanwhile our family had grown, with a son and then a daughter, one year apart.I hoped when things got back to normal we could talk.Perhaps I could win my mother-in-law over since I love her son so much and she adored him too.But that was not to be.

The entire chain of events came crashing down early one cold February morning three years into our marriage.I wrote a poem about it:

1 ) elope [?'l??p] v.私奔，出走

2 ) Yuma ['ju?m?] n.尤馬（美國亞利桑那州西南部一城市）

3 ) on a whim 心血來潮，一時(shí)興起

4 ) boot camp 海軍訓(xùn)練新兵的營地

5 ) annul [?'n?l] v.廢除，取消

6 ) thwart [θw??t] v.反對(duì)，阻礙

7 ) appease [?'p??z] vt.平息，安撫

8 ) reservist [r?'z??v?st] n.預(yù)備役軍人

砰！在她咆哮了幾分鐘后，我爸爸一拳砸在咖啡桌上，發(fā)出響亮的一聲。“如果這兩個(gè)孩子想要結(jié)婚，那么就是上帝的旨意，他們就該保持這段婚姻關(guān)系，”他吼回去。

他對(duì)保羅說，“你想要結(jié)婚嗎？”他轉(zhuǎn)向我，說道，“薩莉，你想結(jié)婚嗎？”我們倆都點(diǎn)頭說想，瞪大雙眼看著這充滿戲劇性的一幕。

“那么在保羅擁有自己的房子前，他們可以先和我們住在一起，”我爸爸語氣平靜了些，如此說道。一切塵埃落定!

羅德曼太太一直在處處貶低我，竭力拖延這場婚禮。她甚至跟保羅說我們倆太年輕了，而且我們的階層不一樣，他應(yīng)該娶一個(gè)大學(xué)畢業(yè)生。她不斷地反對(duì)。

沒錯(cuò)，我那時(shí)只有19歲，還有一年才大學(xué)畢業(yè)。但我們兩個(gè)都是來自中產(chǎn)階級(jí)的家庭，我承認(rèn)我可能在物質(zhì)條件上比保羅要好上一點(diǎn)，因?yàn)樗麄兗矣惺粋€(gè)孩子。

我們保持了婚姻關(guān)系，但為了安撫他媽媽，我和保羅分開住了一個(gè)星期，直到我們在教堂舉行完婚禮為止。在保羅的預(yù)備役軍基本訓(xùn)練結(jié)束后，他就回來工作了。

保羅的爸爸生病了，所以我的新婆婆沒有經(jīng)常過來我們這邊走動(dòng)。他們家出事了，房子被燒毀了。她得四處奔走，張羅各事。

同時(shí)，我們家也增加了新成員，多了個(gè)兒子，一年后又多了個(gè)女兒。我希望當(dāng)一切回到正軌后，我們可以好好談?wù)劇Ｒ苍S我能贏得婆婆的歡心，因?yàn)槲沂侨绱松類壑膬鹤?，而她也同樣愛著他。但這樣的事沒能發(fā)生。

在我們結(jié)婚第三年二月的一個(gè)寒冷的清晨，一連串事情猝然而至。我為這件事寫了首詩。

The Final Revenge

A phone ringing, ringing, breaking the 5 o’clock morning.

My husband plunging through the door where the white wall phone stubbornly commands.

From the bedroom, my curiosity arousing itself from a long night’s sleep.

The words ambulance and hospital send me reeling through the door.

Thoughts fashing through my brain like summer lightning.

But no, it’s not my mother, older and graying.

The younger woman has been chosen instead.

My husband replaces the phone into its slot,

tears running down his face.

“She is dead; my mom is dead.”

We are rocking back and forth in each other’s arms.

He cries for her, I cry for him.

Her words echo in my mind,

“You stole my favorite son!”

A sudden thought.

What’s today?

Mon, February 20th.

Recognition.

My birthday.

I whisper to myself, “Happy birthday, kiddo.”

Forever on this day he will remember

Who was born and who died.

And so I never got to know this woman, my husband’s mother.I soon forget her9)slightsand unkind words since she was absent from our lives and I was busy with two toddlers.I did vow that when my children grew up and married, I would welcome their choices with warm hugs and loving words no matter what.

9 ) slight [sla?t] n.輕視，冷落

最后的復(fù)仇

清晨五點(diǎn)，電話鈴響起，響起。

我丈夫奪門而出，沖向掛在墻上那響個(gè)不停的電話。

臥室內(nèi)，我的好奇心從一夜漫長的睡眠中蘇醒。

聽到救護(hù)車、醫(yī)院等字眼，我昏昏沉沉地走出門外。

各種念頭如夏日的閃電一般從我腦海閃過。

但不是，不是我那更老，頭發(fā)更白的母親。

被選中的人是更年輕的那位。

我丈夫掛上電話，淚水劃過他的臉龐。

“她死了；我媽媽死了?！?/p>

我們互相擁抱著對(duì)方。

他為她哭泣，我為他哭泣。

她的話語在我腦海中響起。

“你偷走了我最愛的兒子！”

一個(gè)想法突然閃過。

今天是什么日子？

二月二十日星期一。

想到了。

我生日。

我喃喃自語，“生日快樂，小妞?！?/p>

他會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)記住，在這一天

誰出生了，誰離世了。

因此，我永遠(yuǎn)也無從了解這個(gè)女人，我丈夫的媽媽。我很快就忘掉她曾經(jīng)對(duì)我的輕視和冷言冷語，因?yàn)樗呀?jīng)從我們的生活中消失了，而且我還要忙著照顧兩個(gè)小孩。但我曾發(fā)誓，等我孩子長大了，要結(jié)婚的時(shí)候，無論如何，我都會(huì)以溫暖的擁抱以及關(guān)愛的話語來接受他們的選擇。

10) love sb.to the moon and back 非常愛某人

Now here I am forty-seven years later.My husband Paul died a little over three years ago.It recently dawned on me while lying in bed one morning and thinking about him that, since I believe he is in heaven, his mom is probably with him.I found myself overcome with anger and jealousy.

I wanted to yell out.“You can’t have him.He is mine! I10)loved him to the moon and back.We were happily married for so many years.Wasn’t that enough for you?”

Then I realized I still haven’t forgiven her.I recently spoke to my husband’s sister Joan.I confded my feelings about their mom, hoping she could help me.She counseled me.“Oh Sallie, Mom was like that with every date we brought home.She just loved her kids so much she was afraid of them being hurt.It wasn’t personal.”

Acceptance is replacing the anger, as I realize what I actually had in common with my mother-in-law—we both loved our children, and moms only want the very best for their kids.Sometimes we overstep, but our hearts are in the right place.That is something I do understand and can certainly forgive her for.

My only hope is that when Paul talks to her in heaven he tells her, “See Mom, she was a keeper! Forty-six years—and you thought it would never last.”

如今，四十七年過去了。我丈夫保羅在三年多前去世了。最近一天早上，當(dāng)我躺在床上想他時(shí)，我突然想到，既然我相信他上了天堂，那么他現(xiàn)在應(yīng)該和他媽媽在一起。我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的內(nèi)心充滿了憤怒和嫉妒。

我想大聲呼喊：“你不能占有他。他是我的！我是那么地愛他。這么多年來，我們的婚姻一直幸福美滿。你還不滿意嗎？”

然后我意識(shí)到，我還是沒有原諒她。最近，我跟我丈夫的姐姐瓊說了這件事。我向她坦誠了我對(duì)她媽媽的感覺，希望她能幫到我。她勸慰我，“噢，薩莉，媽媽對(duì)我們帶回家的每一個(gè)對(duì)象都是這樣，她只是太愛她的孩子，害怕他們受到傷害而已，她并不是在針對(duì)你?！?/p>

在我認(rèn)識(shí)到我和婆婆的共同之處后，理解取代了憤怒。我們都愛著自己的孩子，而母親都希望她們孩子能得到最好的。有時(shí)候，我們是做得過分了點(diǎn)，但我們都是出于好意。我很能理解這一點(diǎn)，當(dāng)然也能原諒她這點(diǎn)。

我唯一的希望就是當(dāng)保羅在天堂和她聊天時(shí)，能告訴她，“看，媽媽，她是個(gè)好妻子！四十六年了——你還以為我們不會(huì)長久呢?！?/p>