THE FRONTLINES OF SEX-ED

THE FRONTLINES OF SEX-ED

An interview with Founder Tong Li of New Kinsey， a landmark source for sex education in China

在中國做性教育：對話新金賽創(chuàng)始人、“性學研究僧”童立

TELL US ABOUT YOUR COMPANY, NEW KINSEY (新金賽).

I had this idea to start a sex education organization in the second year of my graduate program. At that time, my classmates and I were interning at a hospital, doing research into treatments for infertility. We saw so many cases of women getting pregnant unexpectedly and having multiple abortions, only to find that they couldn’t get pregnant when they actually wanted to have babies. If they had had better sex education, those personal crises could easily have been avoided. Then, we analyzed things like marketing and targeting crowds, thinking that it would be a viable project. Right now we are a small team of about 10 people.

YOUR WEIBO ACCOUNT, “A MONK STUDYING SEXOLOGY” (性學研究僧), IS OLDER AND MORE FAMOUS THAN YOUR COMPANY, ISN’T IT?

Yes, I started this account in 2012. The name is a pun; the Chinese character for “monk” (僧sēng) sounds similar to the character for“student” (生shēng). I gave myself this name because I found the life of a graduate student quite poor, just like monkhood. Also, I liked the paradox between a sexology major and a monk that abstains from all carnal pleasure. The account didn’t become popular until I made it a platform for offering advice on sex and relationships. At first I gave professional answers, and then I realized that professionalism alone could not reach a larger crowd. That’s how I evolved to my current style; of course we give professional advice, but also I want the message I deliver to be constructive, inspiring, and viral.

WHAT DO YOU THINK CHINA’S SEX EDUCATION LACKS MOST?

We are quite relieved that the generations born after the 1980s and 1990s are generally supportive of sex education. Earlier generations who were born in the 1950s and 1960s sometimes hold the view that sex education is obscene, but people who are now in their 20s and 30s have realized its necessity. The reason is that people of our generation never had any sex education, and they are suffering from it in various ways. However, there is great controversy as to how it should proceed. Right now, sex education in China is largely pushed through by professionals and experts, but the government has been quite vague on this subject. The influence of organizations like ours, after all, is quite feeble. Quite possibly, only one out of a thousand people that need sex education can eventually hear from us. We have to have the government’s endorsement to make fundamental changes in China.

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO REACH MOST?

I think it’s most urgent to provide sex education to adolescents. Currently, all of our lectures are given in universities, but by doing so we are making up for the education they should have had in puberty. I noticed that a large number of my Weibo followers are adolescents, aged 14 to 18. If they go through puberty without being educated in sex, then we have to work extra hard when they go to university. This is where the need becomes most urgent, and if we were given the chance, we would have helped these kids to grow in a more comprehensive way so that they wouldn’t run into trouble.

WHAT ARE THE OBSTACLES IN LECTURING TO ADOLESCENTS?There are two insurmountablemountains: permission from the schools and the parents. They question our qualifications and the necessity of our lectures. Our team is highly professional and academically trained—our core members include two sexology M.A.s from Huazhong Normal University and one professor of adolescent sex education from Sichuan Normal University. We are pretty confident about our qualifications. However, we can still feel a general dubiousness [from society] toward anything related to sex.

WHAT ARE THE CONCERNS FROM PARENTS AND SCHOOLS?

Mainly, they think it’s too early. Some parents prefer to have their head in the sand than face the issue outright. However, children are curious about sex, whether you talk to them about it or not. Teenagers have access to information about sex; they can easily search for it on Baidu. However, to us, that’s the problem. About one percent of the sexual information circulating online is correct. For example, a lot of medical advice says that masturbation is harmful. This gives teenagers serious pressure and even causes psychological issues.

WHEN TEENAGERS ASK YOU QUESTIONS ON WEIBO, WHAT ARE THE THINGS THEY ARE MOST INTERESTED IN?

It’s quite easy to tell if an inquirer is a teenager or not because their questions are typical. Boys always have questions about masturbation and sexual impulses. They often tell me that they masturbated and describe the color of their sperm and ask me if they are healthy. They often worry if they are overmasturbating too. High school girls, though, most often ask questions about romantic feelings and gynecological hygiene. Most of their questions are like, “I like this boy, should I tell him?”

ARE THESE QUESTIONS ALSO CHARACTERISTIC OF ADULT MEN AND WOMEN?

Yes, the same with adults. Women tend to ask questions about relationships and affections, while men ask about sexual abilities, like whether they are functioning well enough. It kind of reflects the sexual culture of society.

HOW IS CHINESE TRADITIONAL CULTURE AFFECTING CHINESE PEOPLE’S ATTITUDE TOWARD SEX?

Personally, I have the impression that the Chinese understanding of sex is still quite primitive. Speaking of sex, they tend to think in terms of intercourse. Men tend to care a lot about their functions; as for women, although there are a small number of women raising questions like why they do not feel pleasure or have an orgasm, most Chinese women’s sexual consciousness is still in a very suppressed state. The majority of Chinese women are still being hypnotized by affection and love, and they look at their bodies in terms of an object of property for men as a demonstration of their love. This, in turn, is strengthening a patriarchal society that suppresses sexual awareness. You can often find women telling me on Weibo, “I gave my first night to a man.” To such statements, I always ask: “Why do you use the word ‘give’? Are you a thing? No, you are a human being. You have your right to sex; you can enjoy it.”

YOUR WEIBO MAKES A POINT OF SPREADING MESSAGES OTHER THAN SEX ITSELF, DOESN'T IT?

Sex education does not only teach you how to have sex; that is just part of the content we teach to adults. We have to keep in mind that this is a patriarchalsociety, and our attitude towards sex is molded by society. It is our responsibility to make people reflect on that, to make changes, and to press on for sexual equality. Sometimes we need to integrate feminist thought into our education to inspire retrospection. In sex education, first there is the scientific part, on which we can speak in very specific and accurate terms, like the regulation of periods and the average length of penises. And then there is another part involving people’s thoughts, in which you can never give absolute, black-and-white answers. For example, when people consult us on premarital sex, we will not tell you whether you should have premarital sex or not, but we will help you to think critically. We tell you what the consequences are and how to be prepared and be responsible for your decisions like an adult.

I NOTICED THAT YOUR ORGANIZATION ALSO SPENDS A LOT OF TIME STUDYING SEX TOYS. HAVE YOU DISCOVERED ANY INTERESTING FINDINGS?

We noticed that, in China, more and more people, especially the post-80s and the post-90s, are realizing that sex is a pleasant thing that they can enjoy and explore. Also, 70 percent of the world’s sex toys are manufactured in China, so we have the most product lines for sex toys. This business is booming. However, there is little media coverage, and according to our research, most people get to know sex toys through adult films and the internet. No one is seriously studying sex toys and giving consumers reliable information about the products such as the manufacturing standards, usage, and safety. Chinese consumers are almost completely in the dark, bewildered and trying it out for themselves. We hope we can provide people with reliable research and help consumers pick products that are suitable, healthy, and safe.

MANY CHINESE CLAIM THAT THEY FIRST LEARNED ABOUT SEX FROM ADULT FILMS. WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS HAVE ADULT FILMS BROUGHT TO SEX EDUCATION?

A lot of Chinese people are learning how to have sex from adult films, but when you really apply what you see in adult films to sex, men feel embarrassed, because in these movies the sex lasts much longer than real sex and the actors’ genitals are extraordinarily large. As a result, a lot of young men ask me questions like, “Am I too small? Do I last long enough? Am I sick?” Also, when men adopt the positions and techniques in adult films, their partners are seldom comfortable. Even though it’s often not even pleasurable to have sex in such a way, their partners usually pretend that they are excited and turned on instead of letting their partner know about the pain. That makes it necessary for us to post some blogs on sex technique and common sense so that people aren’t misled by adult films.

DO YOU HAVE CENSORSHIP CONCERNS?

Our WeChat account was once closed for seven days, probably because we sent a post on sexual positions. We do have concerns about censorship, but we believe we are working on a justified course. We are, after all, an organization that emphasizes academic strength. We seldom use photos of sexual organs; in most cases we use cartoons. And we use professional terminology and medical terms to describe sexrelated situations. In such an age of the internet, you cannot limit your audience, so we pay special attention to adapt our content to be suitable for both adults and adolescents. We work hard to inspire critical thinking and emphasize human values, and our content can benefit teenagers and adults alike. We are not spreading porn; we would do much better commercially if we did that. We are not afraid of any kind of investigation.

ARE THERE ANY MEMORABLE STORIES ABOUT YOUR WORK THAT YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE?

In 2014 when my professor Peng Xiaohui and I attended the Guangzhou Sex Expo, seeking opportunities to work with sex toy manufacturers on popularizing sex education. While Professor Peng gave a presentation on stage, a dama rushed forward, physically attacked him, and threw feces at him. I noticed the woman when she was in the crowd because she looked different, but I didn’t stop her during the incident. I realized that while we are doing sex education, some are doing anti-sex education. As an educator, I think it is always good to have an environment where different voices can co-exist. I can understand those anti-sex dama having a strong traditional stance, and everyone should have the freedom to speak up. However, she expressed herself in a way that made us feel sad. I don’t want conflict, and it would be good if she would sit down and talk to us about our differences.- GINGER HUANG (黃原竟)