開放式主題作文

【試題呈現(xiàn)】

請根據(jù)以下歌詞，以“Hero”為主題寫一篇英語短文。

Hero

There’s a hero...

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears inside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you will finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

注意：①無須寫標(biāo)題；

②除詩歌外，文體不限；

③內(nèi)容必須結(jié)合你生活中的一個事例；

④詞數(shù)為120左右，如引用提示語，則不計入總詞數(shù)。

【審題謀篇】

這是美國歌手Maria Carey演唱的一首充滿力量和鼓舞精神的抒情歌曲的一部分。中文歌詞如下：

有一位英雄

如果你深入自己的靈魂

你所經(jīng)歷的痛苦將隨之消散

會有一位英雄向你走來

帶著繼續(xù)奮斗的力量

你會把恐懼拋開

你知道自己能挺過來

當(dāng)你感到希望似乎破滅

審視自己，保持堅強(qiáng)

最終你將明白

英雄氣魄就在你身上

通過分析歌詞大意，我們不難找到文章的主旨就在最后一句：英雄氣魄就在你身上。歌詞中所展現(xiàn)出來的不畏困難、保持堅強(qiáng)、繼續(xù)奮斗的精神就是英雄氣魄。

這種文章通常采取引題、記敘、總結(jié)的三段式。把握了主旨后，就可以謀篇布局了。第一段提出在日常生活中難免遇到困難，不畏懼困難，保持堅強(qiáng)，迎難而上，繼續(xù)奮斗才是正確的人生態(tài)度。第二段舉自己生活中的一個相關(guān)事例。第三段寫透過這個事例，你所得到的啟示，再次點明主題，首尾呼應(yīng)。

習(xí)作一

As an old saying goes， where there is a will， there is a success. That is to say， when you feel like hope is gone， you should look inside yourself and be strong. At length， you will succeed with the help of the hero lying in you.

There was once a time when I was weak in my math. Having failed in searval times in a row， I almost broken down. Upset and anxious， I couldn’t concentrate on my study. It was my head teacher that helped me realize that with a strong will in my heart， I can survive everything. So I followed her advice and held on， and I got through it finally.

So from what I have experienced you can see， success belongs to who are possessed of a strong will. Only when you are strong can you see the hero inside you and walk to the success.

點評 這是一篇中檔習(xí)作，其優(yōu)點是：

1. 文章中心明確，條理清楚，邏輯性強(qiáng)。作者考試屢次失敗，深受打擊，無法靜下心學(xué)習(xí)。在班主任的鼓勵下意識到堅持的重要性，最終獲得成功。

2. 運(yùn)用了一些好的短語。如at length（最終）， in a row（連續(xù)地）， break down（崩潰），hold on（堅持），be possessed of（具有）。

3. 運(yùn)用了多樣化的高級句式。如As an old saying goes； 分詞作狀語Having failed...； 形容詞作狀語Upset and anxious； 強(qiáng)調(diào)句型It was my head teacher that helped me...； 倒裝句Only when you are strong can you...。

不足之處是：

1. 單詞拼寫錯誤。如searval， broken應(yīng)為several， broke.

2. 詞句表達(dá)錯誤。如Where there is a will， there is a success.應(yīng)為Where there is a will， there is a way； Having failed in several times in a row中，介詞in后面應(yīng)該加上賓語the math exams；

I got though it finally此處it指代不明，應(yīng)該寫清楚：I got through my math exam finally； success belongs to who are possessed of a strong will中，who引導(dǎo)的定語從句缺少先行詞，應(yīng)該在who前面加上those.

3. 中間一段有些空洞?？梢赃m當(dāng)增加自己如何堅持付諸實際行動學(xué)好數(shù)學(xué)的細(xì)節(jié)。這樣內(nèi)容會更加充實。

習(xí)作二

There are always obstacles getting in the way in our daily life. In most cases， we tend to feel blue and discouraged. However， whatever difficulties we might be faced with， what counts most for us is to be strong to carry on.

Take me as an example. When I was aged 8， riding a bicycle as a proud thing among my fellows， so I persuaded my parents to buy one for me. Seeing my fellows riding skillfully on the playground， I couldn’t wait to join them. Initially， I took it for granted that I would get the hang of it in no time. Only when I fell off the bike once and again did I realize that it was not as easy a job as I imagined. Despite the fact that my fellows laughed at me for my awkwardness， I didn’t shed a tear. Instead， I carried on practicing riding it whenever I found the time determined to demonstrate my ability to them. Eventually， I succeeded in having a good command of it within a week， which gave my fellows a big shock.

As an old saying goes， “Nothing is difficult in the world if you set your mind into it.” From my perspective， getting rid of difficulties is not a tough thing. What matters most is to own a persistent heart. Confronted with obstacles， by no means can we have them holding back our footsteps. It is by holding on that we find ourselves on the way to success.

點評 這是一篇高檔習(xí)作，本文有以下優(yōu)點：

1. 文章內(nèi)容具體，中心突出，語言流暢。作者開始學(xué)騎自行車時碰到困難，遭到伙伴的嘲笑。然而他沒有放棄，堅持不懈地練習(xí)，最終學(xué)會了騎自行車。

2. 運(yùn)用了大量高級詞匯和短語。如obstacle， count， eventually， demonstrate tend to， feel blue， be faced with， can’t wait to do something， take it for granted that...， get the hang of， in no time， once and again， shed a tear， have a good command of， from my perspective， get rid of， be confronted with， by no means， hold back， hold on.

3. 運(yùn)用了多樣化的高級句型。

Whatever difficulties we might be faced with， ...（讓步狀語從句）

Seeing my fellows riding skillfully on the playground， ... （現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語）

Only when I fell off the bike once and again did I realize ... （倒裝句）

Despite the fact that ... （同位語從句）

... which gave my fellows a big shock. （非限制性定語從句）

What matters most is to ... （主語從句）

Confronted with ... （過去分詞轉(zhuǎn)化來的形容詞短語作狀語）

... ， by no means can we ... （倒裝句）

It is by holding on that ... （強(qiáng)調(diào)句型）

4. 過渡語的使用使得行文流暢自然。如however， take me as an example， initially， instead， eventually.

【拓展語料】

相關(guān)詞匯：

be persistent 堅持不懈的

let sb down 讓某人失望

to be honest 老實說

to make matters worse 更糟糕的是

make a big difference to my life 對我的生活產(chǎn)生了很大的影響

give in to the illness 屈服于疾病

turn out to be... 結(jié)果

result in 導(dǎo)致

overcome the fear 克服恐懼

be in despair 感到絕望

much to my delight 讓我非常高興的是

live up to one’s expectations 不辜負(fù)某人的期望

to my relief 讓我欣慰的是

look down upon sb 輕視某人

相關(guān)語句：

1. Exhausted as I was， I held on and finished the 800-meter race at length.

2. So heartbroken was I at that time that I felt like doing nothing.

3. As time goes by， we have reached the point where our life may change in a different direction.

4. It’s universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a strong will can be referred to as a hero.

5. If I hadn’t possessed the strong will， I couldn’t have made it.

6. I found it almost impossible for me to catch up with others.

7. It is the hero lying in me that gives me strength.

8. As long as we can put up with the hard time and spare no effort to get over difficulties， we are true heroes.

9. Driven by the desire to succeed， I achieved what I had expected eventually.

10. Looking back， it’s amazing that I should have made such rapid progress.

11. Never should we neglect the truth that there is a hero lying in each of us.

12. Judging from my own experiences， we can safely draw the conclusion that every one of us can be a hero.

13. Not only did I do endless homework every day but I also stayed up for the exams one after another.

14. Never have I been caught in such a desperate situation before.

15. To sum up， hard times make heroes.

16. In the end， owing to what my father had done， I recovered in no time and became more confident.

17. Only when you have trouble and finally struggle to your feet will you realize that there is a hero in your heart.

18. Next time the thought of giving up occurs to you， do wake up the hero inside.

19. What we should do is to discover our own heroes and then talk them into fighting for us.

20. I realized that it was only by working hard that I can succeed in getting good grades.

21. Reflecting on Liu Wei’s example， we can see that perseverance is of great significance.

22. Feeling so depressed， I couldn’t focus my attention on what the teachers say in class.

23. Exhausted and anxious， I thought I didn’t have the talent for study.

24. Under no circumstances should we do anything with a negative attitude.

25. As is often the case， a rainbow will turn up after a storm.

26. It is for lack of courage to go ahead that we can’t defeat difficulties.

27. Only if you believe in yourself and stay strong can you accomplish your dream.

28. Not being good at playing basketball at first ， I was often defeated by others.

29. It is typical of each of us to go through thick and thin in our life.

30. I am firmly convinced that as long as you keep strong and make every effort you can be your own hero.