多妻有煩惱

Although most countries adopt monogamy and clearly forbid the marriage form that violates the rights and interests and dignity of women -- polygamy， when we go through the statute books of western countries， we can still see the rationality of polygamy among the words and between the lines.

According to the laws of western countries， if a wife is not fertile and does not want to divorce， she can only suffer in silence the fate of no descendants. However， if polygamy is approved， the divorce can be avoided and the family can still carry on the family line.

What’s more， Muslin husbands bear exactly same lawful duties for the second， third and fourth wives as well as their children， which prevents the wives with diseases from discrimination. In Islamic countries， the second marriage is probably a solution accepted in every aspect， because men can have normal lives and at the same time shoulder the reasonability of taking care of the wives.

雖然大多數(shù)國(guó)家實(shí)行“一夫一妻”制，明文禁止侵犯女性權(quán)益與尊嚴(yán)的婚姻形式——“一夫多妻”，但翻開(kāi)西方國(guó)家的法典，從條文字句之間，依然也能看到“一夫多妻”制的合理性。

根據(jù)西方的法律，假若妻子沒(méi)有生育能力，又不同意離婚，就只能忍受沒(méi)有后代的命運(yùn)。但若“一夫多妻”制獲得認(rèn)可，那么離婚的事便可避免，也能孕育后代，傳宗接待。

此外，穆斯林丈夫?qū)λ牡诙巍⒌谌魏偷谒娜纹奘壹八齻兯淖优型耆姆ǘx務(wù)，防止了對(duì)身患疾病的妻室的歧視，在伊斯蘭國(guó)家，第二次婚姻則可能是各方面都認(rèn)可的辦法，男性既可以擁有正常的生活，還能承擔(dān)對(duì)妻室的責(zé)任。

Even so， we can still see the disadvantages of this kind of marriage system through the daily life of polygamist family. The social status of women is very low and they’ve become “baby machine”. “Fighting for husband’s love” becomes regular. Turkish man Athrun has 5 wives. He said when he was 64 years’ old that if he have the chance to choose again， he would rather choose only one wife. The most irritating thing for Athrun was that his wives were always jealous of each other and making scenes all the time.

Polygamy makes woman become man’s private property and men can do whatever they want. The Independent of UK once reported that when harvest little during droughts， in order to repay the loan， an Indian farmer sold his wife “cheaply” to his moneylender. The only thing both parties needed to do was signing the “marriage contract”. The deal can be done after signing.

即便如此，透過(guò)“一夫多妻”制家庭的生活，可以看到這種婚姻制度的弊端。女子地位低下，女子淪為了“生子機(jī)器”，“爭(zhēng)風(fēng)吃醋”是家常便飯。土耳其男子阿斯蘭擁有5個(gè)妻子，64歲時(shí)他曾表示，如果讓他再選擇一次，他寧愿只有一個(gè)妻子。最令阿斯蘭頭疼的地方是妻子之間總是相互嫉妒，經(jīng)?；ハ嗾也牯[事。

“一夫多妻”制容易讓女性成為男人的私人物品，任由處理。英國(guó)《獨(dú)立報(bào)》曾報(bào)道，因旱災(zāi)顆粒無(wú)收時(shí)，為了還貸，印度農(nóng)民將自己的妻子“賤賣”給放債人，買賣雙方只需簽訂“婚姻契約”，簽字畫押后即可一手交錢，一手交人。

Another disadvantage of polygamy is that there bound to be someone who cannot find a wife. Under the circumstances where the gender distribution is roughly equal， if men with more wealth and higher social status marry over one wife， it means men with lower social status and poverty cannot find a wife. It， to a large extent， leads to the social unrest and causes social problems like sexual violation and rape.

“There is another phenomenon in South Africa that men leave their wives in tribes to seek jobs in cities. Many people just never go back home since then， and his children can only be raised by their mothers”， reported by the Peninsula City News of China. Polygamy not only increases the pressure of women by forcing women to raise the children and shoulder the burdens of lives， but also deprives children’s rights of receiving good-quality cultivation and education， which is harmful to the development of society.

有些人必然娶不到老婆，將是“一夫多妻”制的又一弊端。在男女比例大致相等的情況下，如果財(cái)富和地位居前的男人娶了多個(gè)妻子，意味著地位低下和經(jīng)濟(jì)貧困的男人娶不到老婆。這在很大程度上導(dǎo)致社會(huì)的不穩(wěn)定，并引發(fā)性侵害、強(qiáng)奸等社會(huì)問(wèn)題。

“南非還有這樣一種現(xiàn)象，在部落中男子撇下家里的妻子去城市里面打工，不少人就此消失了，他的孩子只能由孩子的母親來(lái)?yè)狃B(yǎng)?！敝袊?guó)《半島都市報(bào)》報(bào)道?！耙环蚨嗥蕖敝茙?lái)的不僅僅是增加女性的壓力，逼迫女性為了撫育兒女，必須用羸弱的身軀扛起繁雜的生活，更重要的是子女在這樣的家庭得不到很好地培養(yǎng)和教育，不利于整個(gè)社會(huì)的發(fā)展。

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The Sage Aristotle came up with the initial moral of “monogamy”: it’s a shameful behavior for husband or wife to have sexual intercourse with unmarried partner. As modern civilization develops， the social status of women rise gradually， and the wish of liberating women and realizing equality between man and woman has been accepted by mainstream society. In 2011， the ruling authorities of Libya adopted “polygamy” and most media thought it was a retrogression of the history of Libya as well as the social status of women. Nowadays， some European countries have gradually abolished polygamy and even in Africa， polygamy starts to become a controversial topic.

The family history of mankind has gone through the three basic stages of communal marriage， pairing marriage and monogamy. The motive behind the long way to “monogamy” is the progress of social productivity and highly developed social material civilization.

先哲亞里士多曾提出了最初的“一夫多妻”制道德：丈夫或妻子與非婚伴侶發(fā)生性關(guān)系，都是一種可恥的行為。隨著現(xiàn)代文明的發(fā)展，女性地位逐漸提升，解放廣大婦女、實(shí)現(xiàn)男女平等的良好愿望，為主流社會(huì)所認(rèn)同。2011年，利比亞執(zhí)政當(dāng)局提出“一夫多妻”制，大部分媒體認(rèn)為，這是利比亞歷史的倒退，也是婦女社會(huì)地位的倒退。目前，一些歐洲國(guó)家陸續(xù)廢除了“一夫多妻”制，即便是在非洲，“一夫多妻”制也開(kāi)始成為爭(zhēng)議性的話題。

人類的家庭形式經(jīng)歷了群婚制、對(duì)偶婚制、“一夫多妻”制三種基本形式，走到今天主流的“一夫一妻制”的背后，是社會(huì)生產(chǎn)力不斷進(jìn)步，社會(huì)物質(zhì)文明高度發(fā)展的結(jié)果。

Article 293 of the Canada Constitution regulates that polygamy， no matter one husband with multiple wives or one wife with multiple husbands， is illegal and prohibited. In 1926， Turkey started to implement the new civil law， and it abolished polygamy， regulating man and woman have the equal rights of religion， marriage， divorce， and child custody.

Malaysia is the first Islamic country abolishing polygamy. Early in 1990s， they’ve already stopped letting married men marry someone else.

Although Tunisia is an Islamic country， polygamy was abolished not long after the establishment of the country. Women have served important positions in society. Benin also declared in the early years to abolish this outdated system that violates the rights and interests of women.

加拿大的刑法第293款稱“一夫多妻”或“一妻多夫”婚配均屬非法，并明令禁止。1926年，土耳其共和國(guó)開(kāi)始實(shí)施新的民法，該法令廢除了一夫多妻制，規(guī)定男女平等享有宗教、結(jié)婚、離婚和兒童監(jiān)護(hù)權(quán)等權(quán)利。

馬來(lái)西亞是首個(gè)伊斯蘭國(guó)家廢除“一夫多妻”制的國(guó)家，早在1990年代，就停止讓已有妻子的男人再婚。

突尼斯雖說(shuō)是個(gè)伊斯蘭國(guó)家，但在建國(guó)初期久廢除了一夫多妻制，女性早就在社會(huì)上擔(dān)任著重要的職務(wù)。貝寧也在早些年宣布取消了這一嚴(yán)重侵犯婦女權(quán)益的落后制度。

The early-stage Mormonism adopted polygamy until 1890 when The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints officially announced the ending of polygamy and since 1904 they’ve adopted the policy of anathematizing the people who still stick to polygamy or forbidding them to join the church.

In China， the first Marriage Law released in 1950 not only carries out the new democratic marriage system with freedom of marriage， equal rights of man and woman， and protecting the lawful rights and interests of women and children， but also regulates explicitly stipulated “monogamy”. There are also specific complementary articles like forbidding bigamous marriage and forbidding married people to live together with other partner to guarantee the rights of women and the interests of the children. In 1997， the Constitution was amended to stipulate the bigamy.

早期的摩門教實(shí)行“一夫多妻”，1890年，現(xiàn)時(shí)分支耶穌基督后期圣徒教會(huì)正式宣布結(jié)束多妻制度，并從1904年開(kāi)始將實(shí)行“一夫多妻”制度的會(huì)友開(kāi)除教籍或禁止他們加入教會(huì)。

在中國(guó)，1950年頒布的第一部《婚姻法》不僅實(shí)行男女婚姻自由、男女權(quán)利平等、保護(hù)婦女和子女合法利益的新民主主義婚姻制度，還明確規(guī)定“一夫一妻”，還有針對(duì)性地補(bǔ)充了禁止條款，如禁止重婚、禁止有配偶者與他人同居等，確保婦女權(quán)利及其子女利益。1997年又修訂了《刑法》，規(guī)定了重婚罪。

Editor’s note:

編后語(yǔ)：

The first Chinese poetry collection The Book of Songs writes: “In death or life (we are) separated and far apart; with you I made an agreement: I grasped your hand， Together with you I was to grow old.” Marriage is an important part of everybody’s life， and to some extent it reflects the development level of politics， culture， and economy. Due to the factors like history and religion， polygamy will not disappear in a moment， but as human civilization moves forward， monogamy will eventually replace polygamy and become the model of happy life for people to pursue.

中國(guó)第一部詩(shī)歌總集《詩(shī)經(jīng)》提到:“死生契闊，與子相悅；執(zhí)子之手，與子偕老。”婚姻在每個(gè)人的生命中都扮演著重要角色，婚姻形態(tài)在一定程度上反映著政治、文化、經(jīng)濟(jì)的發(fā)展水平。受歷史、宗教等因素的影響，“一夫多妻”制或許不會(huì)瞬間消失，但隨著人類文明的不斷進(jìn)步，一夫一妻終將取代“一夫多妻”的婚姻制度，成為幸福生活的范本，為世人所追隨。