Cody+Delistraty
When the kid in 7A reached over and tapped me on the shoulder, I made the worst decision of that whole flight: I responded to him. Oh god, how I shouldve ignored him, pretended that Id only thought his tap was that of a ghosts, something I had imagined. But no, dumb old me turned to him, and, almost as if the fates had cruelly designed it, uttered that dreadful word that lets someone into your once calm, reasonable, ready-to-catch-up-on-some-sleep world: “Hello.”
“Have you ever shot a bear?”
I had not.
“I just did. Went out with my dad. My stepdad actually, but whos counting? Anywho, have you flown before? I havent. First flight. Pretty excited. Pretty, pretty excited.”
Delivered with the speed and precision of “The Flight of the Bumblebee1),” or, more relevantly, a machine gun, these questions werent actually all that surprising. I figured children in full camouflage2) tended to shoot bears more often than I did. And, as I later learned, he was only 11 years old, so not having flown before made sense.
“Thats nice,” I said.
“It was nice, thank you. Poor guy went down quick. Pretty quick. Pretty, pretty quick. Anyhow, I just went to Cabelas3), got this camo jacket. It was from my mom. Pretty cool, huh? Pretty, pretty cool.”
I turned back to my book, The Revolt of Angels by Anatole France4). I was reading it for a class in an attempt to be productive on the airplane—a task I somehow always miserably fail to do. I wouldnt be learning the intricacies5) of overthrowing god any time soon though. Nope, I had been tied up in a situation that can only be called an “airplane conversation.”
An “airplane conversation” sounds straightforward enough. A conversation one has on an airplane, right? But its not exactly that. No, it more implies either a glorious encounter with another fascinating human or a dreadful conversation that makes you question the fate of humanity. Theres no middle ground. You never step off of an airplane thinking, “Hmmm I might call her to grab lunch sometime. She seemed adequately interesting.” Its either, “Wow this person is an endlessly successful genius.” or “How does this person exist in a world where humans must feed and shelter themselves to survive?”
Some of the most interesting people Ive ever met were while traveling. I met Bronwyn on a train from London to Paris, who, at the time, seemed the epitome6) of loveliness and poshness7), ever knowledgeable about secret restaurants in Berlin and the subtle technical differences between the Moscow and Paris ballets. Then of course there was Jacqueline, who said she was an heiress to the Jell-O corporation. I was curious why she was sitting in economy class, but supposedly she had booked the flight the morning of and couldnt get a seat in first class. “I dont mind sitting back here,” she said waving her arm. “You lot are loads more interesting anyway.” There was Alessandra too, an Italian model who was going back to school at the University of Milan and was inexplicably8) studying abroad in Salt Lake City. “It was an interesting semester. They all thought I was Spanish.” Yet for all of the beautiful, serendipitous9) encounters, there are a million outrageous ones.
In reality, more often you sit down next to an eleven-year-old hunting novice from Idaho.
“Anywho, where are you coming from?” my seatmate continued.
“France actually.”
“Do they speak a different language there?”
“They do. Its French.”
“I dont believe you.”
“Tu ne me crois pas?”
“Thats just gibberish10). Anywho, do you believe in Santa?”
Not wanting to crush a childs dreams, I said, “Sometimes. Im conflicted.”
“Yeah, Im a septic too.”
He meant skeptic.
Sometimes though, the loonies11) make traveling all the more fun. After all, these are people you would never meet in any other circumstance save for12) this instance where you randomly, unknowingly chose seats together. Even with a book in hand and headphones on—which is about as isolated as you can make yourself while locked into a flying aluminum tube with a hundred people—there are always those who simply want to talk. It might be a somewhat dim13) but hopelessly sweet person, the type who tells you just she doesnt usually “get books,” but shes making “a real exception” for the latest self-help manifesto from Joel Osteen14). Or perhaps its a businessman whos deluding15) himself about his life. Hell tend to say something along the lines of, “Im a wealth manager, but I do it to make a difference in peoples lives. Im using this skill for good.”
I like traveling with friends and family, but theres something incredibly exciting about going it alone. Every time you walk down the aisle to your seat its as if youre spinning a roulette wheel16). Click, click, click, goes the wheel, and tap, tap, tap go your feet, your seatmate coming into view as you march on to your fate. Its a surprising thrill. Loony or lovely, loony or lovely, loony or lovely.
Even if the roulette ball falls on loony, its really best to take advantage of it. What a bizarre opportunity. The beauty of traveling is that youll meet people who are willing to offer up remarkable opinions, even personal life details. After all, the probability that youll ever see your seatmate from a flight or train trip ever again is incredibly unlikely.
Right before the flight with my newfound hunting buddy, I had been reading Henry James17) The Portrait of a Lady. Isabel Archer is one of the most beautifully crafted characters in all of literature, her every thought and reflection meticulously18) conveyed by James. At one point in the novel, James devotes a whole chapter to the few hours Isabel spends reflecting on her failed marriage. Its a fascinating look into the human psyche, her every thought recorded, her mind offered up to the reader in transparent entirety.
Traveling though may be an even better look into the human condition. How do people react when theyre jammed together at 40,000 feet or speeding along a railway at 80 MPH? How do people from Salt Lake City or Paris or Milan act? What do they talk about? What makes them tick19)? What do they love? Its a peculiar sort of education, but one can learn a lot being thrown within inches of two complete strangers who are willing to wile away20) the time by chatting.
As far as entertainment value, bending your ear towards your neighbor might be your best bet. Put your book away because lovely or loony, your seatmate is probably surprisingly interesting, perhaps even stranger than fiction. And, if you ever sit down next to a blond pre-teen from Idaho with a penchant21) for hunting and doubts about Santa Claus, say hello. Trust me, youll have a wonderfully amusing trip.
當(dāng)坐在7A座位上的孩子伸過手來拍我的肩膀時,我做出了整個航程中最糟糕的一個決定:我回應(yīng)了他。天哪,我真應(yīng)該無視他,假裝只把他那一拍當(dāng)成幽靈所為,是我的幻覺。可是沒有,該死的我傻乎乎地轉(zhuǎn)過頭去,然后幾乎像是出于命運殘酷的擺布一般,我說出了那個可怕的詞,那個詞允許外人闖入你原本清靜的、還算不錯的、準(zhǔn)備補補覺的世界——“你好”。
“你打過熊嗎?”
我沒有。
“我剛打過。跟我爸爸去的。其實是我繼父,不過誰管那些呢?對了,你以前坐過飛機嗎?我沒坐過。這是頭一次。我非常興奮,非常非常興奮?!?/p>
他說起話來快速而清晰,就像《野蜂飛舞》的旋律,或者更確切地說,像機關(guān)槍。他的問題其實并不讓人感到特別意外。我想穿著一身迷彩服的孩子去獵熊的幾率應(yīng)該會比我大吧。稍后我又得知,他年僅11歲,因此之前沒坐過飛機也不足為怪。
“不錯啊?!蔽艺f。
“是不錯,謝謝。那個可憐的家伙很快就倒下了。非常快,非常非???。還有,我剛?cè)ミ^卡貝拉,買了這件迷彩服。是媽媽給我買的。很酷,是吧?非常非常酷?!?/p>
我的視線又回到書上,那是一本阿納托爾·法朗士的《天使的反叛》。讀這本書是為了某門課程,我本想在飛機上有成效地工作——可悲的是,這不知怎地成了我總也完不成的任務(wù)??磥硪粫r半會兒我是無法了解天使們推翻上帝的復(fù)雜經(jīng)過了。了解不成了,我已經(jīng)被困在一種只能稱之為“飛機上的交談”的境地中了。
“飛機上的交談”聽起來足夠直白。就是發(fā)生在飛機上的交談,對嗎?但這種說法并不完全準(zhǔn)確。不。它還意味著,你要么會與另外一位充滿魅力的人士有一段美好的相遇,要么會陷入一場令你對人類命運產(chǎn)生質(zhì)疑的可怕談話。不存在中間地帶。你從來不會在走下飛機時想:“嗯,改天我也許會打電話約她共進午餐,她好像還挺有趣的?!蹦愕母邢胍词恰巴郏@人真是個無往而不勝的天才”,要么是“在人類必須有食物和住所才能存活的世界里,怎么會存在這樣一個人”。
我見過的一些最有趣的人就是在旅途中結(jié)識的。在從倫敦開往巴黎的一列火車上,我遇到了布朗溫,那時的她堪稱可愛與優(yōu)雅的化身,對于深藏在柏林街巷中的餐廳以及俄羅斯芭蕾與法國芭蕾在技巧方面的細(xì)微差別她都了如指掌。當(dāng)然還有杰奎琳,她說自己是Jell-O (編注:美國一家果凍生產(chǎn)商)公司的繼承人。當(dāng)時我奇怪她為什么會坐經(jīng)濟艙,不過那也許是因為她當(dāng)天早晨才訂票,沒買到頭等艙的座位?!拔也唤橐庾诤竺孢@塊兒,”她揮著手臂說,“反正你們這些人有意思多了。”還有亞歷山德拉,她是個意大利模特,準(zhǔn)備重返校園進入米蘭大學(xué)讀書,卻不知什么緣故到了鹽湖城留學(xué)?!斑@個學(xué)期過得很有意思。別人都以為我是西班牙人呢?!辈贿^,就算有這些美妙的意外邂逅,我還是遭遇過其他無數(shù)次讓人無法容忍的交談。
事實上,更多的時候,坐在你身邊的是一位來自愛達(dá)荷州的11歲的狩獵新手。
“對了,你從哪兒來?”我的鄰座繼續(xù)發(fā)問。
“其實是法國?!?/p>
“那兒的人說的是另一種語言嗎?”
“是的,他們說法語?!?/p>
“我不相信?!?/p>
“Tu ne me crois pas (編注:法語,意為‘你不相信我)?”
“那只是你嘰里呱啦胡亂說的。對了,你相信有圣誕老人嗎?”
因為不忍打破孩子的幻想,我說:“有時候信。我心里很矛盾?!?/p>
“是啊,我也很壞疑?!?/p>
他想說的是懷疑。
不過有的時候,碰上一些奇怪的人也會讓旅程變得更有樂趣。畢竟,若不是大家在無知無覺間隨意將座位選在了一起,你在其他任何場合是不會遇到這些人的。手捧書本,頭戴耳機——這是與上百人一起被關(guān)在一個會飛的鋁制筒狀物里時你能呈現(xiàn)出來的最拒人于千里之外的姿態(tài)了。但即便是這樣,你還是總會碰上那些就想聊天的人。對方也許是個有些愚笨卻異常親切的人,這種人會告訴你她通常不“買書”,但約爾·歐斯汀新出版的自助宣言對她來說卻“完全例外”。又或許對方是個自欺欺人的生意人,通常說著諸如此類的話:“我是個理財經(jīng)理,不過我做這份工作是為了改善人們的生活。我用自己的技能為人們造福。”
我喜歡和親朋好友一起旅行,但是獨自旅行卻有著某種不可思議的刺激。每次你沿著過道向自己的座位走去時,那感覺就像是在轉(zhuǎn)動賭臺上的輪盤。輪盤在咔嗒咔嗒轉(zhuǎn)動,你的腳步聲嗒嗒地響起,隨著你一步步走向命運的安排,你的鄰座出現(xiàn)在你的眼前。這是種令人驚訝的刺激。古怪或是可愛,要么古怪要么可愛,不是古怪就是可愛。
即使命運的轉(zhuǎn)盤將你帶到一個古怪的人身邊,你最好也還是好好把握。這是多么難得的機會。旅行的美妙之處就在于你會遇到一些人,他們樂于分享自己非同尋常的見解,甚至分享他們私人生活的細(xì)節(jié)。畢竟,與在飛機或火車上跟你鄰座的人再次相遇的可能性幾乎為零。
在與這個喜歡打獵的小家伙同乘一班飛機之前,我一直在讀亨利·詹姆斯的《一位女士的畫像》。伊莎貝爾·阿徹是所有文學(xué)作品中塑造得最為出色的角色之一,她全部的所思所想都被詹姆斯細(xì)致入微地描繪了出來。在小說的某處,詹姆斯用了整整一章的篇幅來寫伊莎貝爾對自己失敗的婚姻進行反思的那幾個小時。這是一段引人入勝的對人類心靈的觀察,她的每一個念頭都被記錄了下來,她的心理活動被清晰、完整地呈現(xiàn)在了讀者面前。
而旅行或許是了解人類境況更好的機會。當(dāng)人們在4萬英尺的高空擠坐在一起或以80英里的時速奔行在鐵路上時,他們會有什么反應(yīng)?來自鹽湖城、巴黎或米蘭的人們會有什么樣的舉動?他們會談?wù)撔┦裁??他們生活的動力是什么?他們喜歡什么?這種增長見聞的方式很奇特,但置身于兩個樂于通過聊天來打發(fā)時間的完全陌生的人之間的方寸空間里,你卻能了解到很多東西。
至于娛樂價值,你最好的選擇或許就是側(cè)耳聽聽鄰座都說些什么。把書暫擱一旁吧,因為可愛也罷,古怪也罷,你的鄰座也許十分有趣,出乎你的意料,甚至可能比小說中的人物還要離奇。如果有一天你坐在一位來自愛達(dá)荷州的愛好打獵、對圣誕老人抱有懷疑的金發(fā)少年身邊,那就和他打聲招呼吧。相信我,你會度過一段充滿樂趣的絕妙旅程。
1. The Flight of the Bumblebee:《野蜂飛舞》,原是俄羅斯作曲家尼古拉·安德烈耶維奇·里姆斯基-科薩科夫(Nikolai Andreyevich Rimsky-Korsakov, 1844~1908)所作歌劇中的插曲,后經(jīng)克羅地亞鋼琴演奏家馬克西姆·姆爾維察(Maksim Mrvica, 1975~)演奏,成為音樂會中經(jīng)常演奏的通俗名曲,也是世界上最快的鋼琴曲之一。
2. camouflage [?k?m??flɑ??] n. 迷彩服
3. Cabelas:卡貝拉,美國戶外用品零售商
4. Anatole France:阿納托爾·法朗士(1844~1924),法國詩人、記者、作家,1921年獲諾貝爾文學(xué)獎?!短焓沟姆磁选罚═he Revolt of the Angels)是其發(fā)表于1914年的小說。
5. intricacy [??ntr?k?si] n. 錯綜復(fù)雜的事物;紛繁難懂之處
6. epitome [??p?t?mi] n. 典型;集中體現(xiàn)
7. poshness [?p??n?s] n. 時髦,優(yōu)雅,漂亮
8. inexplicably [??n?k?spl?k?bli] adv. 令人費解地,莫名其妙地
9. serendipitous [?ser?n?d?p?t?s] adj. 偶然發(fā)現(xiàn)的,意外獲得的
10. gibberish [?d??b?r??] n. 胡言亂語
11. loony [?lu?ni] n. 〈俚〉瘋子
12. save for:除……之外
13. dim [d?m] adj. 〈口〉遲鈍的;愚蠢的
14. Joel Osteen:約爾·歐斯?。?963~),美國湖木教會主任牧師,已出版五本暢銷書。他以生活化的傳教方式強調(diào)愛的力量和積極的態(tài)度,擁有大批追隨者。
15. delude [d??lu?d] vt. 欺騙,哄騙
16. roulette wheel:(輪盤賭臺上的)輪盤
17. Henry James:亨利·詹姆斯(1843~1916),美國作家,19世紀(jì)現(xiàn)實主義文學(xué)最重要的代表人物之一。后文提到的《一位女士的畫像》(The Portrait of a Lady)是其代表作之一,伊莎貝爾·阿徹(Isabel Archer)是小說的女主人公。
18. meticulously [m??t?kj?l?sli] adv. 非常注意細(xì)節(jié)地
19. make someone tick:使某人工作(或活動)
20. wile away:消磨(時間等)
21. penchant [?p???ɑ?n] n. 愛好,嗜好