舞會囧事

And now Im gonna take you into my high school awkward story. So， like I said， I was very 1）anti-social， but we had dances， and I would probably skip every other dance. Id probably go to one and not go to the next. This one dance in particular—I dont know what year of high school it was； maybe it was like sophomore or junior year. I liked this girl， and I wanted to ask her to the dance. So I， like， wrote her a little 2）jingle and put it on a CD and gave it to her and asked her to go to the dance with me. Shes， like， “Yeah， Id love to.”

So the week goes by， and the night of the dance comes， I pick up my 3）date， we go to the dance， everythings going fine， we get there， and then its time for us to actually dance. I dont know about you， but Im a pretty good dancer—I cant say this with a straight face. So I started dancin with her. Were， like， doin our thing， and its going well. Then， about 30 seconds later she， like， walks over there， and， like， leaves me， and Im， like， “What？” I cant handle this. So I danced on over to her， and Im backin up next to her， Im， like， “Hey， whats up？ You left.” She doesnt say anything. She kinda dances for a second， and she goes back over there. Im， like， “What the heck， Im a good dancer.” So I do my thing. Now were back over here where we started， which makes no sense to me， but were dancin. And， no lie， it happens again， and I watch her go back. And at this point Im startin to take a hint， so Im just dancin by myself. I know I look good—not really. And so I let her go that time， and I didnt see her for the rest of the dance.

So the part of the story where it gets really awkward is the Monday following the dance at school. I remember it was lunch time， and Im walkin through the cafeteria about to get my food， and I overhear this group of girls saying my name. They cant see me cause Im， like， kind of around a corner when I pass them， and I could hear them talkin about me. And Ill never forget， one of the girls in the group was my date， and I remember hearing one of them say， “Man， Landon was so awkward at the dance，” and Im thinkin to myself“Yeah， that sounds about right，” and so I turned the corner right where they could see me， and I was， like，“Hey， I heard that. Ill see yall later，” and I walked off， and Ill never forget the look on their faces. They were， like， shocked.

現(xiàn)在我要給你們講一件我高中時的糗事。剛才說了，我是個很不合群的人，不過學校會開些舞會，我也隔三岔五地去一下，這場去了，下場就逃掉。我要說的這場舞會不記得是哪個學年的了，好像是高二還是高三吧。那時我喜歡上一個女孩，想邀請她一起去舞會。所以我就給她寫了首小歌，錄在一張光盤上送給她，問她能不能跟我一起去舞會。她說：“好啊，樂意得很。”

一個星期就這么過了，到了舞會那晚，我接了她一起過去，一切都很順利。我們到了那兒，兩個人就要開始跳舞了。不知道你怎么樣，反正我的舞跳得蠻不錯的——我沒法一本正經(jīng)地說出這句話。然后我就開始跟她跳舞。我們就在那兒跳著，一切都很正常。然后，大概過了30秒吧，她走到那邊去了，離開了我。我心想：“怎么回事兒？”我一下子懵了。然后我就邊跳邊靠近她，到了她身邊，我問她：“嘿，怎么啦？你干嘛走開了？”她啥都沒說，跳了兩下，又走回去了。我心想：“搞什么鬼啊，我的舞跳得這么棒?！彼晕揖瓦@么跳著。這時候我們回到了開始時跳的地方，我搞不明白為什么，我們又跳起來。然后，不騙你，又來了，我看著她走回剛才那里。這時候我開始明白了，所以我就一個人在那兒跳。我知道我看起來不錯——其實不是。這次我就讓她走了，一直到舞會完了都沒有再見到她。

這還不算什么，真正窘的是接下來那個周一在學校發(fā)生的事。我記得是午餐時間吧，我在飯?zhí)美镒咧?，正要去拿吃的，無意中聽到一群女生在說我的名字。我剛好在拐角的地方路過，所以她們沒有看到我，但我能聽到她們說的話，真是讓我永生難忘啊。其中一個女生就是我的約會對象，我記得她們中有個人說：“天哪，蘭登那天在舞會上真是糟透了?！蔽覍ψ约赫f：“嗯，聽起來好像還真是這么回事。”然后我就走過拐角，讓她們看到我。我跟她們說：“嘿，我都聽到了哦。等下見。”說完我就走了。我永遠都忘不了她們臉上那個表情——不折不扣的“驚呆了”。