紙之戀

By June Thomas 譯 / 辛獻(xiàn)云

文具也是一種信仰？對(duì)“嗜紙如命”的作者來(lái)說(shuō)，這話毫不夸張：家里擺放著幾百本筆記本卻不舍得用；旅行時(shí)最愛(ài)徜徉的景點(diǎn)是文具店；對(duì)各種類型的紙和筆如數(shù)家珍。也許你覺(jué)得她太瘋狂，但她說(shuō)：“對(duì)文具缺乏信仰的人永遠(yuǎn)也無(wú)法明白筆與紙的完美結(jié)合能給人帶來(lái)多少欣慰?！惫们曳畔鲁梢?jiàn)，聽(tīng)她講講她與紙的不解情緣吧。

On a shelf not too far from the desk where Im typing sit 267 unused notebooks. Tallying1） them up was a little disturbing. Its one thing to suspect you possess more than enough paper to capture every thought youll ever have； its another to know it for sure. But despite this abundance， I still want more—in the last week alone， four more journals have joined their dusty comrades， and I just ordered another off the Web.

My name is June， and I am a stationery2） addict. When Im feeling overwhelmed or dispirited， nothing perks me up3） more than a few minutes perusing the Notebook Stories blog or staring at photos of other peoples stationery collections online. Or， better yet， wandering the aisles of a quality paper emporium4）. Sometimes the thrill comes from recognizing the hunting-and-gathering skills of the stores owner： Whenever I go to Papeterie Nota Bene in Montreal （and I go to Montreal mostly to go to Papeterie Nota Bene）， the proprietor5） always seems to have tracked down new items that Ive never seen before but immediately need to own. Or perhaps Im drawn to the miracle of small differences. Its inspiring to see shelves and shelves of almost identical items， knowing that tiny details—rounded versus squared corners， slight variations in grid scale and ink color—can elevate the so-so to the spectacular.

I am also a keen stationery tourist. Notebooks make perfect souvenirs， since a notebook bought on a trip will remind you of your vacation every time you write in it. All I can remember of a long weekend in Lisbon is a broiling6） August sun， the difficulty of finding a restaurant open on Sunday evening， and an insanely eclectic7） stationers that was the first place I found my all-time favorite pen， the Rotring Xonox Graphic. （That model seems to have been retired—the replacement Tikky Graphic is fine but not quite the same.） Kyoto， Japan， is a blur of temples and carefully tended sand gardens， but I can visualize the exact layout of the peculiar store where I bought some beautiful Year of the Ox cards. And many a trip to my home town of Manchester has been redeemed by a few hours in the huge branch of Paperchase8）.

I am not alone in my obsession. There are two kinds of people in the world： those who understand that， in a stationery store， every book has to be examined， every paper block caressed， and every potentially suitable pen tested； and those for whom buying a notebook is like shopping for eggs： They find the size they want， make sure its in one piece， and take it to the till9）. Never go shopping with those people； theyll be ready to leave before youve figured out where the Leuchtturm1917s10） are stashed11）.

But even we paper fiends12） come in different stripes13）. Perhaps because my own fixations are essentially anti-social （I am drawn to small notebooks that no one else will ever get to look inside）， Im fascinated by folks who love social stationery—cards， notepaper with matching envelopes， and kits14） full of stickers and sheets of pastel paper15）. How can they stand to share their finds with other people？ I guess theyre just less selfish than me. Or perhaps more practical： Since I cant bear to tear pages out of my notebooks， I end up scrawling notes to friends on oversize legal pads16） or on the backs of to-do lists. In a house full of notebooks， I can never find a decent sheet of writing paper when I need it.

Why do I love stationery？ My absolute delight in browsing paper palaces gives me a glimmer of the addicts compulsion， an overwhelming desire for something I really dont need. Fortunately， stationery is a harmless obsession—most of the items I jones17） for cost less than $25—and while acquiring 300 notebooks isnt a wise investment， it hasnt put me in financial peril， either.

And like any collector， I find pleasure in knowledgeable connoisseurship18）. Im not as obsessed with pens as I am with paper， for example， but I know what I like， and that is JetStream Uni-ball ballpoint pens with a 1 mm refill19）， Muji Gel-Ink pens with a 0.7 mm refill， Pilot Precise V7 retractable20） rollerballs， Zebra G-301 Gel Retractable pens with a 0.7 mm refill， or disposable Varsity fountain pens from Pilot.

I also know that pens are only special when paired with the right paper. And I am a regular Dolly Levi21） of paper-pen matchmaking. The unbreakable rule is： ballpoint pens for composition books， reporters notebooks， and college-ruled22） spiral-bound23） books with university logos on the front； gel inks or fountain pens for Moleskines24） or supersmooth Japanese or Korean paper. Some notebooks even insist on a No. 2 pencil25）. I never know for sure until I open up a journal for the first time.

Sometimes， notebooks can be intimidating. How could my scribblings be worthy of the gorgeous hand-made journal I found in a Parisian stationers so packed with irresistible goodies that I finally understood the pain of Sophies Choice26）？ One of the reasons my stationery shelf is so crowded with pristine27） items is that I do most of my writing in inexpensive， mass-produced notebooks. I make work notes in college-ruled composition books—preferably the commonplace Mead variety. Since there are stacks of them in every drug store and school-supply warehouse in America， theyre the opposite of daunting. And best of all， they change as you fill them—theyre a couple of centimeters fatter when completed， and the sound made by flipping through the crinkled pages is one of the most satisfying I know.

But the real thrill of the paper chase lies in the sense of possibility. After all， I dont spend a lot of time putting pen to paper. I do most of my writing， professional and personal， on a computer. But those notebooks are my life raft—I just know theyll rescue me if I get lost for words. Notebooks have sprung me from creative funks28） enough times to convince me of their mystical powers. I feel about notebooks the way I imagine believers feel about their religion： Someone who lacks faith in stationery will never understand how much comfort the perfect combination of pen and paper can provide. Faced with a task I dont know how to tackle or a story that just wont be written， I approach the notebook shelf knowing that something there will get me out of my jam.

This is why， to me， notebooks are irresistibly beautiful objects： Their shape evokes the intellectual satisfaction of the great books， combined with the endless possibilities of the unknown： The next thing I write in one might be the best thing Ive ever written.

離我現(xiàn)在打字的書(shū)桌不遠(yuǎn)處有一個(gè)書(shū)架，上面放著267本尚未使用的筆記本。清點(diǎn)它們還是讓人有些煩心的：懷疑自己擁有過(guò)多的紙張來(lái)記錄腦海中出現(xiàn)的每一縷思緒，這是一回事；而確定地知道這一點(diǎn)又是另外一回事。不過(guò)，盡管我已有了這么多本本，我還是想要更多。僅僅在上周，就有四個(gè)筆記本加入了它們那落滿灰塵的同類行列，而我剛剛又在網(wǎng)上定購(gòu)了一本。

我叫瓊，是個(gè)文具迷。每當(dāng)感到迷茫無(wú)助或是情緒低落時(shí)，我就會(huì)花上幾分鐘時(shí)間品讀“筆記本故事”（編注：一個(gè)關(guān)于筆記本等文具的博客網(wǎng)站）上的博文，或者細(xì)細(xì)端詳別人在網(wǎng)上發(fā)布的文具收藏品照片，再?zèng)]有什么比這更能使我精神振作的了?；蛘撸鼮槔硐氲淖龇ㄊ轻溽嘤趦?yōu)質(zhì)紙品店鋪的貨架間。有時(shí)，那種興奮感來(lái)自于對(duì)店主搜羅文具本領(lǐng)的欣賞：每當(dāng)我光顧位于蒙特利爾的諾塔-貝內(nèi)文具店（我到蒙特利爾多半是為了去諾塔-貝內(nèi)文具店），我會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)店主似乎總能搜羅到一些我前所未見(jiàn)卻又想立刻擁有的新東西?；蛘撸铱赡軙?huì)被那些細(xì)微差別所帶來(lái)的神奇效果而吸引?？吹揭粋€(gè)個(gè)貨架上擺滿了幾乎一模一樣的東西，知道正是那些細(xì)微的區(qū)別——圓角與方角，網(wǎng)格大小和線條顏色的細(xì)微變化——化平庸為神奇，我會(huì)感到振奮不已。

在旅游中我也熱衷于購(gòu)買(mǎi)文具。筆記本是最好的紀(jì)念品，因?yàn)槊慨?dāng)你使用在旅途中購(gòu)買(mǎi)的某個(gè)筆記本時(shí)，它都會(huì)勾起你對(duì)那次度假的回憶。對(duì)于在里斯本度過(guò)的那個(gè)長(zhǎng)周末假期，我所能記得的除了8月似火的驕陽(yáng)，以及在周日傍晚找到一家開(kāi)門(mén)的餐館如何困難外，就是那家品種超級(jí)繁多的文具店了。正是在這家店里，我第一次發(fā)現(xiàn)了我今生最愛(ài)的筆——德國(guó)紅環(huán)Xonox繪圖筆（這個(gè)型號(hào)似乎已經(jīng)停產(chǎn)了，它的替代品Tikky繪圖筆也不錯(cuò)，但不大一樣）。還有日本的京都，那是一片由廟宇和精心打理的沙石園林所構(gòu)成的模糊記憶，但我卻能在腦海中清晰地勾畫(huà)出一家小店的精確布局，就是在那里，我購(gòu)買(mǎi)到一些精美的牛年卡片。多次返回故鄉(xiāng)曼徹斯特時(shí)，我都要在“紙之戀”文具店的一家大型分店里逗留幾個(gè)小時(shí)，也算是不虛此行了。

對(duì)文具如此迷戀的并非只有我一人。這世上有兩種人：有一種人明白，文具店里的每個(gè)筆記本都要細(xì)細(xì)看過(guò)，每沓紙都要摩挲過(guò)，每一支看起來(lái)適合的筆都要試用過(guò)；還有一種人，他們買(mǎi)本子就像買(mǎi)雞蛋一樣——找到自己想要的尺寸，確認(rèn)完好無(wú)損，然后拿著直奔收銀臺(tái)。永遠(yuǎn)不要和這種人一起買(mǎi)東西：你還沒(méi)搞清楚“燈塔1917”筆記本放在哪兒，他們就已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備離開(kāi)了。

但即使是我們這些戀紙狂也不盡相同。也許因?yàn)槲冶救怂V迷的文具本質(zhì)上都是非社交型的（我喜歡小巧的筆記本，別人永遠(yuǎn)都沒(méi)有機(jī)會(huì)打開(kāi)看一眼的那種），因此我會(huì)被那些喜歡社交型文具的人所吸引——他們喜歡卡片、配有信封的信紙以及裝滿貼紙和粉彩紙的文具套裝。他們?cè)趺茨苋淌芘c他人分享自己發(fā)現(xiàn)的寶物呢？我想他們只是沒(méi)有我那么自私吧?；蛘咭苍S是他們比我更加明智：我無(wú)法忍受把紙張從筆記本中撕下來(lái)，所以到頭來(lái)在給朋友寫(xiě)便條時(shí)我只能龍飛鳳舞地寫(xiě)在特大號(hào)拍紙簿上，或者寫(xiě)在任務(wù)清單的背面。在一座擺滿筆記本的房子里，我卻永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法在需要時(shí)找到一張像樣的書(shū)寫(xiě)紙。

我為什么喜愛(ài)文具？徜徉于紙張的宮殿里，我有一種純粹的快感，它使我領(lǐng)略到一絲沉迷者的那種不可自拔的感覺(jué)，一種對(duì)我根本不需要的東西無(wú)法抵抗的欲望。幸好，對(duì)文具的癡迷沒(méi)有任何害處——我渴望買(mǎi)下的文具大都不超過(guò)25美元。雖說(shuō)買(mǎi)下300本筆記本并不是什么明智的投資，卻也不至于使我陷入財(cái)政危機(jī)。

和其他收藏者一樣，我也發(fā)現(xiàn)作為一個(gè)知識(shí)淵博的鑒賞家其樂(lè)無(wú)窮。比方說(shuō)，雖然我對(duì)筆不像對(duì)紙那樣癡迷，但我也知道我喜歡什么：日本三菱的JetStream系列圓珠筆，配有1毫米的替換筆芯；無(wú)印良品的中性筆，配有0.7毫米的替換筆芯；百樂(lè)牌的V7可伸縮圓珠筆；斑馬牌的G-301可伸縮中性筆，配有0.7毫米替換筆芯；或者百樂(lè)的Varsity系列一次性水筆。

我也知道，筆只有和正確的紙搭配才能與眾不同。我就像媒人多莉·利瓦伊一樣，經(jīng)常給紙和筆牽線搭橋。下面是顛覆不破的規(guī)則：圓珠筆要配作文本、采訪記錄本以及抬頭印有大學(xué)徽標(biāo)的中等橫格線螺旋裝訂本；中性筆或水筆要配“鼴鼠皮”筆記本，或是配超級(jí)光滑的日本紙或韓國(guó)紙。有些筆記本甚至要求使用HB鉛筆。如果一個(gè)筆記本從來(lái)沒(méi)有打開(kāi)過(guò)，我就無(wú)法確定到底該用什么筆。

有時(shí)，筆記本可能會(huì)令人望而生畏。我那潦草的涂鴉怎么能配得上那本手工制作的精美筆記本呢？那是我在巴黎一家文具店里淘到的，那家店里到處擺放著令人無(wú)法抗拒的好東西，在那里我終于明白了《蘇菲的選擇》里蘇菲的痛苦。我的文具架上擺滿了那么多從未動(dòng)過(guò)的筆記本，其中一個(gè)原因就是我的寫(xiě)作大都是在那些廉價(jià)的、大批量生產(chǎn)的筆記本上進(jìn)行的。我的工作筆記都是記在印有中等橫隔線的作文本里，最好是那種常見(jiàn)的米德筆記本。由于這種本子在美國(guó)每一家雜貨店、每一家學(xué)校用品倉(cāng)儲(chǔ)店都有很多，它們絕不會(huì)讓你心生膽怯。更妙的是，它們會(huì)在你使用的過(guò)程中發(fā)生變化——用完后它們會(huì)變厚幾厘米，而且在隨意翻閱那些皺巴巴的頁(yè)面時(shí)，它們發(fā)出的聲音是我所聽(tīng)到的最令人舒心的聲音。

但對(duì)紙的迷戀真正令人興奮的地方在于那種一切皆有可能的感覺(jué)。畢竟，我在紙上寫(xiě)寫(xiě)畫(huà)畫(huà)的時(shí)間并不多。我的大部分寫(xiě)作，工作上的也好，私人的也好，都是在電腦上進(jìn)行的。但這些筆記本是我的救生艇——我知道在我詞窮時(shí)它們會(huì)來(lái)救我。這些本本已多次將我從創(chuàng)作的苦悶中救出，這足以使我堅(jiān)信它們具有神秘的力量。我想，我對(duì)筆記本的感覺(jué)大概就像信徒們對(duì)自己宗教信仰的感覺(jué)：對(duì)文具缺乏信仰的人永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法明白筆與紙的完美結(jié)合能給人帶來(lái)多少欣慰。每當(dāng)我遇到一個(gè)不知該如何處理的工作任務(wù)或是一個(gè)怎么也寫(xiě)不出的故事，我就會(huì)走近擺放著筆記本的書(shū)架，深信那里一定會(huì)有東西讓我擺脫困境。

正因?yàn)槿绱耍瑢?duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，筆記本就是無(wú)可抗拒的尤物：它們的外形能像名篇巨著那樣給人以知識(shí)上的滿足感，還有那種未知的、無(wú)限的可能——說(shuō)不定我下次在某一個(gè)筆記本上寫(xiě)出的就是我最得意的作品。

1. tally [?t?li] vt. 統(tǒng)計(jì)，清點(diǎn)

2. stationery [?ste??（?）n（?）ri] n. 文具

3. perk up：使振作，使活躍

4. emporium [?m?p??ri?m] n. 商店，店鋪

5. proprietor [pr??pra??t?（r）] n. 業(yè)主，經(jīng)營(yíng)者

6. broiling [?br??l??] adj. 酷熱的

7. eclectic [??klekt?k] adj. 不拘一格的，兼收并蓄的

8. Paperchase：英國(guó)一家文具用品連鎖店

9. till [t?l] n. 收銀機(jī)

10. Leuchtturm1917：德國(guó)的一個(gè)筆記本品牌，Leuchtturm在德語(yǔ)中是“燈塔”的意思。

11. stash [st??] vt. 儲(chǔ)藏，藏匿

12. fiend [fi?nd] n. 對(duì)……嗜好成癖者，……迷

13. stripe [stra?p] n. 種類，類型

14. kit [k?t] n. （供學(xué)生等用的）一套資料

15. pastel paper：粉彩紙

16. legal pad：標(biāo)準(zhǔn)拍紙簿（用畫(huà)線黃紙制成，通常尺寸為22×36厘米）

17. jones [d???nz] vi. 渴望，渴求

18. connoisseurship [?k?n??s??（r）??p] n. 鑒賞力；鑒賞家（或行家）身份

19. refill [?ri??f?l] n. 替換筆芯

20. retractable [r??tr?kt?b（?）l] adj. 可縮進(jìn)的

21. Dolly Levi：多莉·利瓦伊，百老匯音樂(lè)劇《你好，多莉！》（Hello， Dolly?。┲械呐鹘牵蕴嫒俗雒綖樯?。

22. college-ruled：又稱Medium-ruled，指橫隔線間距為9/32英寸（7.1毫米）、左側(cè)1.25英寸（31.75毫米）處有一條豎線的紙張，在美國(guó)普遍使用。

23. spiral-bound：[印]螺旋裝訂的

24. Moleskine：“鼴鼠皮”筆記本，意大利手工筆記本品牌，在20世紀(jì)成為歐洲藝術(shù)家和知識(shí)分子手中的傳奇筆記本。

25. No. 2 pencil：指HB鉛筆。

26. Sophies Choice：《蘇菲的選擇》（1979），美國(guó)作家威廉·斯蒂倫（William Styron， 1925～2006）的作品，獲1980年美國(guó)國(guó)家圖書(shū)獎(jiǎng)。小說(shuō)講述了波蘭女子蘇菲在極端境遇的生死抉擇，使人在跌宕起伏的故事背后領(lǐng)悟到人性的復(fù)雜。

27. pristine [?pr?sti?n] adj. 嶄新的，未觸動(dòng)過(guò)的

28. funk [f??k] n. 沮喪，苦悶