父親的角色

This could be dangerous， I thought. This is Los Angeles， early June 1992. And， besides， its getting dark.

1）Stranded and alone， 2）hauling a heavy suitcase along Washington Boulevard east of Lincoln Avenue， unable to find a phone that made sense or a taxi 3）dispatcher interested in my fare， I was running late for my plane at 4）LAX. I decided that this was a chance I needed， no， wanted to take. I approached three young 5）Hispanic men standing outside their car in a fast food parking lot.

But first a little background.

I had just spent four days in the mountains above 6）Palm Springs at a conference of men who wanted to give the nation new hope for old and growing problems. We were a few of the big fish in the small pond that some have called the mens movement. We agreed that what the nation most urgently needs right now is a massive 7）infusion of strong， noble， loving， nurturing， healthy masculine energy to counteract Americas 8）malaise， impotence and 9）social pathologies. We talked a lot about the importance of fathers， both as an 10）archetypal metaphor and as a practical reality.

我想過(guò)這可能會(huì)很危險(xiǎn)。這里是 1992年6月上旬的洛杉磯，此外，天色漸暗。

我獨(dú)自上路，裹足難行，在林肯大街東的華盛頓大道上拖著沉重的行李箱，找不到一個(gè)打得通的電話機(jī)，也找不到一輛出租車(chē)肯接受我能付的費(fèi)用搭載我。眼看著就趕不上我要搭乘的位于洛杉磯國(guó)際機(jī)場(chǎng)的飛機(jī)了。于是我決定冒險(xiǎn)試試，不，必須冒這個(gè)險(xiǎn)。我往快餐店停車(chē)場(chǎng)走，向那三個(gè)站在車(chē)旁邊的西班牙年輕男子走去。

但是首先，允許我介紹一下背景。

我剛剛花了四天時(shí)間在棕櫚泉的山上參加一個(gè)男性會(huì)議，與會(huì)者的目標(biāo)是要賦予國(guó)家希望，解決新老問(wèn)題。我們只是小池塘里的幾條大魚(yú)，有些人稱(chēng)我們所做的為男權(quán)運(yùn)動(dòng)。我們同意國(guó)家目前急需大量注入堅(jiān)強(qiáng)高尚，充滿(mǎn)愛(ài)意關(guān)懷的健康男性能量，來(lái)抵抗美國(guó)低靡無(wú)能的病態(tài)社會(huì)情勢(shì)。我們大談父親的重要性，無(wú)論是作為象征的典例還是在現(xiàn)實(shí)實(shí)踐當(dāng)中。

Back in the fast food parking lot I 11）warily approached the three young， black-haired， brown-skinned men. “How ya doing？” I said calmly and evenly. “Im trying to get to LAX and Im running late. The cabs and the phones arent cooperating. How much money would you need to take me？” They looked at each other. One of them in a white T-shirt said to the one who must have been the driver， “Go for it， man.”

The driver hesitated. I said， “Name a price that makes it worth your while.”

He looked straight at me. “Ten bucks，” he said.

“Ill give you twenty.”

“Lets do it， man，” said the T-shirted youth. The driver nodded and popped the trunk. “You wanna put your suitcase here？”

“No， thanks，” I answered straight back. “Id rather keep it with me.”

“Thats cool，” the T-shirt said.

So there I was， 12）entrusting my life to what I hoped to be “positive male energy.” I was thinking we should go west to Lincoln Avenue. We headed east. Now what？ But then we turned south and soon we were on a freeway. I knew it could have been stupid， but I took out my wallet， removed a twenty and said to the driver， “Here， I want to pay you now.” The driver took it with a simple “thanks.” “So here I am， guys，” I said. “I sure hope youre going to take care of me.”

T-shirt， sitting in the back seat with me， my suitcase between us， smiled 13）knowingly and said， “So where you from？”

回到快餐店的停車(chē)場(chǎng)，我當(dāng)時(shí)小心翼翼地走近這三位黑頭發(fā)和棕色皮膚的年輕男子?！澳銈兒脝幔俊蔽艺f(shuō)道，盡量表現(xiàn)出沉著和冷靜?！拔乙ヂ迳即墖?guó)際機(jī)場(chǎng)，我快要遲到了。出租車(chē)和電話都幫不上忙。如果請(qǐng)你們搭載我去需要多少錢(qián)呢？”他們相互看看彼此。其中一個(gè)穿白T恤衫的男子對(duì)司機(jī)說(shuō)：“去吧，老兄?！?/p>

司機(jī)猶豫了。我說(shuō)：“報(bào)個(gè)你認(rèn)為值得跑一趟的價(jià)格吧?！?/p>

他直盯著我?！?0美元，”他說(shuō)道。

“我會(huì)付你20美元?！?/p>

“我們答應(yīng)吧，大哥，”那個(gè)穿T恤衫的年輕人說(shuō)道。司機(jī)點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，打開(kāi)了車(chē)尾箱。“你要把你的行李箱放這兒?jiǎn)?？?/p>

“不用，謝謝，”我干脆地回答道?！拔蚁腚S身帶著它?！?/p>

“沒(méi)問(wèn)題，”穿T恤的男子說(shuō)道。

因此，我就這樣上車(chē)了，把自己的生命寄托給我所希望的“積極男性能量”。我正想著我們應(yīng)該往西開(kāi)去林肯大街。但是我們卻在往東邊走?，F(xiàn)在該怎么辦呢？但是之后我們轉(zhuǎn)向往南開(kāi)，很快我們就到高速公路上了。我知道這看起來(lái)很傻，但是我拿出我的錢(qián)夾，抽出一張20美元，對(duì)司機(jī)說(shuō)：“給，我現(xiàn)在付錢(qián)給你。”司機(jī)接過(guò)去，只說(shuō)了聲“謝謝”。“我既然上車(chē)了，朋友們，”我說(shuō)道。“我就知道你們會(huì)照顧我。”

穿T恤衫的男子和我一起坐在后座上，中間隔著我的行李箱，他會(huì)意地微微一笑，然后說(shuō)： “那你是哪里人？”

“Baltimore，” I answered.

“Oh， man， its nice back east. Thats what they say. Green and everything.”

I smiled and nodded， “Yeah. And back east， L.A. is our idea of heaven.”

“Naah， its rough here， man. Its hard.” T-shirt was clearly going to be the spokesman.

Every issue we mens movement guys had talked about during our conference in the mountains was in this car. It was time for a reality check. “How old are you guys？”I asked. They were sixteen and seventeen. They were all in school and had part-time jobs. T-shirt and the driver worked in a restaurant. The quiet young man 14）riding shotgun didnt say. “Tell me about the gangs. Are there gangs at your school？”

“Theres gangs everywhere， man. Everywhere. Its crazy.”

“Are you guys in a gang？” I asked.

“No way， man.”

“Why not？” I wondered.

“Because theres no hope in it. You just get a bullet in your head.”

“Whats the difference between you guys and the guys in the gangs？”

“I dont know， man. We just dont want to do it.”

I let the question sit for a moment， then started up.“What about fathers？ Do you have a father at home？” I asked the youth in the back seat with me.

“巴爾的摩，”我回答道。

“噢，老兄，東岸那邊很好呀。人人都這樣說(shuō)的。綠樹(shù)環(huán)境什么的都很棒?！?/p>

我微笑點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，“是的，但是在東岸，洛杉磯才是我們心目中的天堂?！?/p>

“不是，這里生活很艱難，朋友。日子很辛苦的?！贝㏕恤衫的男子明顯要搶著回話。

山上的男權(quán)運(yùn)動(dòng)議會(huì)談?wù)摰拿恳粋€(gè)話題明顯都在這車(chē)內(nèi)重現(xiàn)。是時(shí)候該在現(xiàn)實(shí)中調(diào)查一下了。“你們年紀(jì)多大呢？”我問(wèn)道。他們分別是16和17歲。他們都還在上學(xué)，且都有業(yè)余工作。穿T恤的男子和司機(jī)在一家餐館兼職。坐在副駕位置上的沉默少年沒(méi)有透露其工作。“告訴我一些關(guān)于幫派的事情吧。你們學(xué)校有幫派嗎？”

“到處都有幫派，朋友。無(wú)處不在。很瘋狂的。”

“你們是幫派里的嗎？”我問(wèn)道。

“絕不是，朋友?！?/p>

“為什么沒(méi)進(jìn)幫派呢？”我驚訝地問(wèn)道。

“因?yàn)榻Y(jié)幫派沒(méi)有前途。只會(huì)讓你的腦袋中子彈。”

“你們和幫派里的人有什么不同呢？”

“我不知道，朋友。我們就是不想進(jìn)幫派而已?！?/p>

我把問(wèn)題擱置了片刻，然后又問(wèn)：“那你們的父親呢？你們父親都在家嗎？”我問(wèn)那個(gè)和我一起坐在后座的年輕男子。

“Yeah. I do.”

“How about you？” I asked the driver.

“Yeah， I got a dad.”

And the shotgun rider volunteered， “I got a dad， too.”

“How about the guys in the gangs？ Do they have fathers living with them？”

“No way， man. None of them do.”

“So maybe fathers make a difference？” I suggested.

“Absolutely， man. Absolutely.”

“Why？” I probed. “What difference does a father make？”

“Hes always 15）behind you， man， pushing you. Keeping you in line. Telling you whats what.”

And I was taken safely right where I needed to go. On time. 16）Without a hitch. I met eighteen amazing men at the conference in the mountains. I am eternally grateful for their wisdom and their urge to heal the nation.

But the most amazing men I met on my trip were the three youngest ones， Pablo， Juan and Richard—amazing because in spite of everything they were trying to be good. And the men to whom I am most grateful are the men I never met. The men to whom I am most grateful are their fathers. It was their fathers who got me to the airport. It was their fathers who kept me safe.

“是的，有?！?/p>

“那你呢？”我問(wèn)司機(jī)。

“是的，我有父親。”

副駕上的少年主動(dòng)回答：“我也有父親。”

“那些幫派中的人呢？他們的父親和他們住在一起嗎？”

“不可能有，朋友。都沒(méi)有的?！?/p>

“所以或許是父親起到了關(guān)鍵作用？”我暗示道。

“絕對(duì)是。朋友，絕對(duì)是的?！?/p>

“為什么呢？”我繼續(xù)追問(wèn)道?！案赣H起到了什么作用呢？”

“父親總是支持你，朋友，推動(dòng)你前進(jìn)。約束著你。告訴你是非真相?！?/p>

我被安全地帶到了我要去的地方。毫無(wú)阻礙地準(zhǔn)時(shí)到達(dá)。在山上的會(huì)議中，我遇見(jiàn)了18位優(yōu)秀的男子。我將永遠(yuǎn)感激他們的智慧和他們想要改善國(guó)情的決心。

但是最讓我驚訝的是在旅途上遇見(jiàn)了這三位年輕男子——帕布魯、胡安和理查德，我說(shuō)他們令人驚訝是因?yàn)闊o(wú)論如何，他們都在努力做個(gè)好人。但是我最感激的是那些我從未謀面的人。我最感激的也就是他們的父親。是他們的父親，幫助我到達(dá)了機(jī)場(chǎng)。是他們的父親，使我安全到達(dá)了。