同學聚會，你參加嗎？

“同學聚會”——多么令人興奮的字眼，有多少人曾經(jīng)為了那個可以一敘舊情的日子高興得睡不著覺？但是，也有越來越多的人表示，離校園生活越遠，“同學聚會”也越發(fā)變味，因為聚會變得越來越像是一個炫富、曬幸福、比成就的場合，日子過得滋潤的人會積極赴約、侃侃而談，生活潦倒的則沉默寡言，甚至推辭出席。當年那純純的同學聚會，真的會變得如此世俗嗎？童鞋們，你怎么看？

When a bunch of my friends and former classmates talked about attending our college reunion months ago, everyone seemed excited, everyone was “definitely going.”

Now the reunion is a mere two weeks away and suddenly the number of attendees is 1)dwindling. It seems the event looked very 2)appealing when it was a long, long way off. Now that it is in the near future, it has lost its 3)luster.

I get it. It can be expensive. It can be a 4)hassle. My college, Hobart-William Smith, is in Geneva, New York—the middle of nowhere. I live in Los Angeles. Just thinking about the all the travel I must do for three days of fun makes me tired.

幾個月前，我的一群朋友和老同學聊到大學聚會的事兒，大家似乎都激動不已，所有人都表示“肯定會參加”。

現(xiàn)在距離聚會只有兩周時間了，決定要參加的人數(shù)卻突然驟減。貌似聚會遙遙無期時，總顯得十分誘人。如今聚會愈來愈近，卻失去了魅力。

我也懂，參加聚會可能開銷會很大，并且麻煩。我的大學——霍巴特—威廉·史密斯學院，坐落于紐約日內(nèi)瓦這個前不著村后不著店的地方。我住在洛杉磯。為了三天的歡聚要長途跋涉，單是想想我就已經(jīng)覺得很疲憊。

I also get that people use such 5)benchmarks as reunions as a time to set unrealistic goals for themselves. They want to lose twenty pounds...before the reunion. They want to have a better job...before the reunion. They want their 6)hair plugs to take root...before the reunion. When those goals arent reached, they back out of the reunion. They say theyll make it to the next reunion. Surely five years will be enough time to meet their goals, they tell themselves.

But do we ever really reach our goals? Who knows what will happen in five years? Besides, if youre balding now, youll be really bald in five years.

I think if youve lost touch with everyone from your college days, attending a reunion can be 7)daunting and not that appealing. But if youve kept in touch with some good friends, then attending a reunion isnt so overwhelming. Im going to my reunion to hang out with friends I try to see every year. The only difference this year is that well be hanging out on the turf where it all began. This year, we have permission to 8)delve into the past without feeling the least bit 9)pathetic.

我也知道許多人會以重聚作為基準點，給自己設下不現(xiàn)實的目標。他們想在聚會前……減掉20磅的體重。他們想在聚會前……找一份更好的工作。他們想在聚會前……植發(fā)成功。但是，當無法達到這些目標時，他們便選擇退出聚會。他們說下次聚會一定參加。他們自欺欺人地認為五年后肯定會達到自己設下的目標。

但我們是否真的達到目標了呢？誰知道五年后會發(fā)生什么事情？況且，如果你現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)開始掉發(fā)了，五年后你就真的會謝頂了。

我認為，如果你和大學的所有同學都失去了聯(lián)系，參加聚會便顯得令人怯步和不甚吸引了。但是如果你和一些好朋友保持著聯(lián)系，參加聚會就不會那么令人不知所措。我將會去參加聚會，和我每年都盡量見面的朋友相聚。唯一不同的是，今年我們將會回到大家相識的起點相聚。今年，我們可以盡情地回味過去，而絲毫不覺得感傷。

And the friends youve kept in touch with dont notice the extra pounds (well, maybe they do, but they pretend really well that they dont). They accept you for who you are and just want to have some laughs.

Ive also had friends tell me they dont want to go to their reunions because theyre embarrassed by the person they used to be. Welcome to the club! Who isnt a little embarrassed by their younger selves? We all have 10)skeletons in our closet—mine happen to wear a dazed expression while gripping a beer bottle in between their bony fingers. But embarrassing moments are what coming of age is all about.(Actually, I do get embarrassed by my older self too).

Part of the purpose of attending a reunion is to 11)reminisce. Once you do, youll realize that most of the stuff you were embarrassed by actually makes good stories. In retrospect, it wasnt as bad as you thought it was.

Going back to school can also remind you of the person you thought youd be by now, which can be hard for people who imagined greatness which they didnt achieve. Most people feel like theyve fallen short of their goals; most people feel like they didnt 12)live up to their expectations.

Dont be so hard on yourself. Think about all you have accomplished. Think about all the stuff you survived. I bet you did better than you imagined. Actually, I bet your younger self never imagined most of it.

So relax, have fun, and dont make such a big deal about it.

And when you return to your old life, youll have a fresher outlook.

那些你一直保持聯(lián)系的朋友不會覺察到你變胖了（好吧，或許他們已經(jīng)覺察到了，但是他們假裝得很好，表現(xiàn)得像沒覺察到一樣）。他們接受真實的你，只是想尋些樂子而已。

也有些朋友告訴我，他們不想?yún)⒓泳蹠驗樗麄優(yōu)檫^去的自己感到難堪。歡迎加入到我們這一群人當中！誰不是為過去的自己而感到些許難堪呢？誰沒有羞于啟齒的過去呢——而我的難堪在于以往當我瘦削的手緊握著酒瓶時，臉上總掛著一絲茫然。但尷尬時刻是我們成長必不可少的經(jīng)歷。（實際上，我也為現(xiàn)在的自己感到難堪。）

參加聚會的部分原因在于回憶過去。一旦你參加了，你會意識到你為之尷尬的事情，卻是大家津津樂道的趣事?；叵肫饋頃r，其實它并不像你想象中的那么糟糕。

重返校園亦會讓你想起當年的自己，那個想像著多年后功成名就的自己——這對于曾經(jīng)敢于想象而如今卻沒有達成心愿的人來說，是很艱難的事情。大多數(shù)人會覺得自己沒有達成目標；大多數(shù)人會覺得自己辜負了自己的期望。

不要對自己太苛刻。想一下自己已經(jīng)取得的成就吧。想一下你成功經(jīng)歷過的苦難。我確信你已做得比自己期待中好了。事實上，我確信現(xiàn)在發(fā)生的大部分事情，是你年少時從未想象過的。

所以，放松點，開心玩，不要小題大做。

當你回憶起舊日時光，你會對人生有一份更新的展望。