捕捉原文續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，讓續(xù)寫合情合理

王思

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

讀后續(xù)寫一般提供一段350詞以內(nèi)的語言材料，要求考生根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語，將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。然而，考生在進(jìn)行讀后續(xù)寫時往往存在以下問題：

1. 閱讀原文時不知道如何挖掘和捕捉原文中的續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

2. 續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容與原文不能夠合理銜接或者與原文不連貫；

3. 續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容或角度與原文不一致。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

一篇好的讀后續(xù)通常能夠圍繞主題對原文中的伏筆（也就是我們所說的可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)）進(jìn)行合理照應(yīng)?？忌缒苌钊虢庾x原文，挖掘合理的續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，并在續(xù)寫時適時照應(yīng)，那么他們所續(xù)寫的段落在語言、內(nèi)容、邏輯上便更符合原文基調(diào)。我們可以從以下幾個方面捕捉和挖掘可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)：

1. 分析文章標(biāo)題，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

2. 品讀原文首段，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

3. 提煉原文主題，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

4. 關(guān)注特定情節(jié)，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

5. 留意細(xì)節(jié)描寫，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

6. 關(guān)注高頻詞匯，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

7. 留意原文結(jié)尾，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)；

8. 解讀續(xù)寫部分所給的段首句，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)。

下面，我們來看看如何挖掘和捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，提高讀后續(xù)寫的分?jǐn)?shù)。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Outside the box

The Harvestfest contest was falling on Friday and everyone in school was talkingabout it. All the students would show up in their self?made costumes （服裝） and a winner?would be chosen by the principal.

“Do you have your costume for the Harvestfest contest？” Alice asked.“ Im going as achocolate bar. My mom and I have been working on it all week.”

“Yeah， I have a costume，” said Jordan Eastman， popping up the two front wheels ofhis wheelchair as he waited for his dad to pick him up.“ But it's boring.”

“Why？ What is it？” Alice asked.

“MaxMag， the superhero， but Danny， Tom and Izzy are all going as MaxMag too.”Jordan shook his head.“ That's too many to stand a chance of winning the contest.” Hewaved to his dad， who had just pulled up in front of the school.

Jordan rolled his wheelchair towards his dad， and Alice walked with him to theminivan （小貨車）.

“Maybe you should go as something else，” Alice said.

“The contest is on Friday night，” Jordan sighed.“ It's too late to change costumes.”

“Jordan， you have to think outside the box. Look around your house and see what youhave. There's hidden potential in everyday items.” Alice took a sip of her drink， and toldJordan that her chocolate?bar costume was made from old fabric her mom had lying aroundand recycled plastics.

On his way home， Jordan was quiet. He kept thinking about Alices words： Think out?side the box. There's hidden potential in everyday items. When he got home， he found hismom dealing with some wooden pieces. She was putting a new desk together. On top of thedesk was a huge empty cardboard box the pieces had come in. Mom smiled at Jordan，pointing at the desk，“ What do you think？”

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

Jordan's eyes fell on the box and he smiled，“ It's perfect...with my wheelchair.”__________

Paragraph 2：

Soon it was Friday night， and Jordan couldn't wait to show his costume._______________

一、原文的語篇要素

二、原文的主題

本文講述了坐輪椅的小男孩喬丹在朋友艾麗斯的鼓勵下，開動腦筋，跳出思維定式，挖掘日常用品的潛能，更改自己單調(diào)重復(fù)的服裝，并最終在比賽中贏得認(rèn)可，獲得成長的故事。本文的主題是“任何物品都有潛能，人亦是如此”。

三、原文的情節(jié)脈絡(luò)發(fā)展

四、人物性格分析

五、捕捉續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

六、構(gòu)思情節(jié)發(fā)展

l 續(xù)寫第一段具體情節(jié)構(gòu)思

展開語言和動作描寫細(xì)節(jié)時，可以嘗試回答以下問題并考慮多種可能性：

How did Mom react？

What did Jordan create？

How did Jordan create it？

Did Jordan finish his costume？

根據(jù)以上問題，可以確定續(xù)寫第一段的內(nèi)容應(yīng)該聚焦在喬丹向媽媽解釋他的創(chuàng)意，媽媽參與并幫助喬丹實(shí)現(xiàn)他的創(chuàng)意。

l 續(xù)寫第二段具體情節(jié)構(gòu)思

展開細(xì)節(jié)時，可以嘗試回答以下問題并考慮多種可能性：

How did Jordan feel？

What happened during the contest？

Who was the winner？

What did Jordan learn from this contest？

根據(jù)以上問題，續(xù)寫第二段的具體情節(jié)可以設(shè)計(jì)為：喬丹穿著新服裝出場得到了大家的認(rèn)可和稱贊；丹尼、湯姆和伊茲看到喬丹的裝扮時的反應(yīng)以及喬丹與艾麗斯的互動；校長宣布最有創(chuàng)意的裝扮，呼應(yīng)開頭。最重要的是要寫出喬丹在此次經(jīng)歷中學(xué)到了什么，這樣才能夠合理體現(xiàn)人物的成長、自我發(fā)現(xiàn)以及心態(tài)的積極變化。

參考范文

Paragraph 1：

Jordan's eyes fell on the box and he smiled， “Its perfect...with my wheelchair.”Realizing Mom was confused， he quickly added，“ That's a cool desk， Mom. But can I havethe big box for the Harvestfest contest？” He then explained excitedly how to turn it into amobile refrigerator.“ Brilliant！ You will definitely be the superhero of the party， servingpeople their favourite drinks，” Mom exclaimed with a broad smile. In the following days，his priority after school was designing and making the new costume， fixing it to hiswheelchair and exquisitely making a door. Finally， he even prepared some soft drinks tosurprise his friends.

Paragraph 2：

Soon it was Friday night， and Jordan couldn't wait to show his costume. When hewheeled himself in as a mobile refrigerator， he heard admiring exclamations， guessing atwho it would be. Jordan felt an increasing sense of pride and satisfaction. When he spotteda chocolate bar， he quickly moved towards it， stopped just several inches in front andquickly opened the door. “Jordan， its you！” Alice cried out. Jordan passed her herfavourite drink.“ Thank you， Alice. Thats an idea outside the box.” That night， although hedidn't win the best costume award from the principal， Jordan felt like the real MaxMag： hisbody and soul were no longer confined to the wheelchair. And he came to realize： there ishidden potential in everyday items， and so it is with every individual.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Today was Community Service Day at school. Mayas class was going to make cardsfor the seniors living in a nursing home. It was also the first day Maya would be wearing herleg brace to school， which was designed to help her walk more steadily and smoothly.

It was a cold autumn morning. Maya looked down， feeling embarrassed. To make itlovelier， she had delicately decorated the brace with pretty butterfly patterns. Still， she wasunsure about others' reaction. All morning at school， kids kept glancing at her brace. To herrelief， they didn't say anything.

In the classroom， Maya was drawing little green buds and pretty flowers when herfriend Samir came over and sat by her. She felt his eyes fixed on her brace and heard himasking，“ What's that for？” Not knowing what to say， Maya pretended she didn't hear him.After a few seconds of awkwardness， she glanced back at him， and found that he looked alittle sad.

After lunch， the class set off. The nursing home was on a small hill and all of themwalked there happily along the path. Maya found that the brace did make it easier for her towalk up.

Maya and Samir were paired up with a lady who was 83 years old. There at the end of?the hall in a wheelchair， with a big smile on her face， sat the lady， wearing a pink coat， withred lipstick and beautiful earrings. She looked bright and full of life. Moving flexibly andfast towards Maya and Samir， she greeted first.“ I'm Joan，” she said cheerfully.“ Glad tomeet you.”

Maya and Samir handed her the cards they made. Joan looked at Samir's card care?fully and spoke with admiration，“ You've written a poem！ That's so artistic！” Samir's facereddened with shyness. Then Joan turned to Maya's picture.“ The first flowers of spring！”she cried in delight.“ You really have a gift for using color！” she said. Clearly， Joan's praiseadded great power to Maya.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

In a sudden wave of bravery， Maya asked， “What's it like being in a wheelchair？”

_______________

Paragraph 2：

Deeply impressed by Joan， Maya offered to sit beside Samir on the bus ride back home.

__________________

【評價導(dǎo)思】

1. 我是否挖掘和捕捉到了原文的可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)？

2. 續(xù)寫這篇文章的時候，我是否對原文的可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)進(jìn)行了照應(yīng)？

3. 我在續(xù)寫時用了什么方法來潤色文章？