My Progress　陳傳光

本期點評名師

陳傳光男，江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學高級教師、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁、江蘇省教育學會會員，從事教育教學工作多年；曾獲英語教研能力大賽區(qū)一等獎、英語專業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎、班主任基本功大賽市一等獎；有多篇論文在各核心和主流期刊上發(fā)表；曾指導學生在各類競賽中取得不錯的成績，有多人獲得地市級獎和省級獎。

My Progress

Life is always full of difficulties， but when we overcome it ①， we willmake great progress.

I couldnt swim when I was twelve so I thought it was too hard. In order toencourage me learning②to swim， my father often took me to the swimming pool. Atfirst， I didnt like swimming at all. But through hard work and continuous practice，I finally learned how to swim. Now， I can swim more than 500 meters， but③I havemade great progress.

Just as a famous saying goes， nothing is difficult if you put your heart into it.No matter what difficulties we face， we will make progress if we work hard.

江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學 張靜賢

點評

優(yōu)點：

小作者用不長的篇幅講述了一個完整的故事，有起因、過程、結果，篇尾得出了人生哲理，使短文主題得以升華?？傊@是一篇不錯的學生習作。

需要修改的地方：

①it 改為them。代指上文中的復數(shù)名詞difficulties，應使用them。

②learning 改為to learn。encourage sb. to do sth.意為“鼓勵某人做某事”。

③but 改為and。此處上下文是并列關系。

評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分25分的評分標準，本文修改前可得22分。