2022年6月大學(xué)英語四、六級作文試題評析（三）

賈從永

四級

Directions： Suppose you are writing a proposal to your Students Union for enriching students’ extracurricular activities. You are to write about what activities to organize and why. You will have 30 minutes to write the proposal. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

這道2022年6月的大學(xué)英語四級作文試題要求考生給學(xué)生會寫一份關(guān)于豐富學(xué)生課外活動的建議書，內(nèi)容是指出學(xué)生會應(yīng)該組織哪些課外活動并說明理由。

建議書是應(yīng)用文的一種，一般包括四個部分：標題、稱呼、正文、署名。本文的標題可以寫A Proposal for Enriching Students’ Extracurricular Activities。稱呼可以寫Dear Chairman。

正文可以寫三個段落。

第一段首先表明自己的身份，然后說明寫作目的——為豐富學(xué)生的課外活動而提出建議。

第二段指出學(xué)生會應(yīng)該組織哪些課外活動并說明理由。大學(xué)的課外活動多種多樣，考生在這一部分可以根據(jù)自己的知識儲備自由發(fā)揮，最好從兩三個方面展開，并且每指出一項課外活動，緊接著就說明理由。比如，學(xué)生會可以在校園里組建音樂、舞蹈、戲劇、藝術(shù)等社團，因為這些社團可以給學(xué)生機會去探索自己的愛好，還可以讓學(xué)生通過在自己喜歡的社團里表現(xiàn)自我而變得更加自信。除此之外，學(xué)生會還可以組建各種體育運動隊。加入運動隊不但能改善學(xué)生的體質(zhì)，還有助于他們培養(yǎng)一些人生技能，比如團隊協(xié)作能力。此外，學(xué)生們還能在鍛煉的時候結(jié)識志同道合的朋友。

第三段先指出學(xué)生參加課外活動的重要意義，然后表明希望學(xué)生會采取有效措施，以確保學(xué)生的課外活動豐富多彩。

最后是署名，寫在正文之下中間偏右的位置，可以寫Li Ming。

下面請看參考范文：

A Proposal for Enriching Students’ Extracurricular Activities

Dear Chairman，

I am a junior of Shanghai University. I am writing to put forward a proposal to enrich the students’ extracurricular activities.

Students Union may consider organizing various societies on campus， such as music， dance， drama and arts clubs. These clubs will offer students the opportunity to explore their passions. Students will also become more confident by expressing themselves in clubs of their interest. Sports are equally important. A variety of sports teams， such as basketball， football， aerobics and swimming teams， can be created. Joining these teams will not only improve the students’ health condition but help develop such life skills as teamwork in students. Besides， students will meet like-minded peers and make new friends while working out.

Taking part in extracurricular activities is an integral part of school experience. Apart from providing them with a break from regular classes， it helps students develop into all-rounded individuals. I hope that Students Union will take effective measures to ensure that students have rich after-school activities.

Li Ming （173 words）

語言亮點借鑒：

1. These clubs will offer students the opportunity to explore their passions. 這些社團將向?qū)W生們提供探索自己愛好的機會。passion 愛好，興趣。

2. Joining these teams will not only improve the students’ health condition but help develop such life skills as teamwork in students. 加入這些運動隊不但能改善學(xué)生的體質(zhì)，而且有助于他們培養(yǎng)一些人生技能，比如團隊協(xié)作能力。

3. Besides， students will meet like-minded peers and make new friends while working out. 此外，學(xué)生在鍛煉的過程中會遇到志同道合的同齡人，結(jié)交到新朋友。like-minded 志同道合的。work out鍛煉。

4. Apart from providing them with a break from regular classes， it helps students develop into all-rounded individuals. 除了讓學(xué)生們在常規(guī)課程之余休息一下，參加課外活動還能幫助學(xué)生成長為全面發(fā)展的人。apart from除了……還。all-rounded 全面發(fā)展的。

六級

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay that begins with the sentence “Nowadays more and more people take delight in helping the needy.” You can make comments， cite examples or use your personal experiences to develop your essay. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

這道2022年6月大學(xué)英語六級作文試題屬于分析現(xiàn)象型，此類題目的特點是提出一個社會現(xiàn)象，要求考生分析這一現(xiàn)象并提出應(yīng)對措施。本題中的社會現(xiàn)象是如今越來越多的人樂于幫助窮人。這篇作文的總體結(jié)構(gòu)可以這樣安排：第一段提出現(xiàn)象；第二段分析這一現(xiàn)象；第三段總結(jié)全文，提出建議。

本文可以用故事法開頭，即用一個小故事引出所要討論的社會現(xiàn)象。這種開頭的優(yōu)點是從人入手，富有人情味，容易激起讀者的閱讀興趣。我們可以在本文的開頭講一個自己的朋友幫助窮人的故事：每個星期天，我的朋友莫妮卡·張都在一個施粥所忙碌地工作。接著用一個過渡句引出本文所要討論的現(xiàn)象。

第二段分析這個社會現(xiàn)象。我們不妨從分析原因的角度下筆，即分析為什么如今越來越多的人樂于幫助窮人。我們可以首先指出幫助別人能增強我們的幸福感，讓我們找到人生的意義。為了避免論述太抽象，我們可以舉一個具體的例子：我的伯父在退休之后不知道該干什么，陷入了抑郁。后來他到無家可歸者收留所做志愿者。現(xiàn)在的他滿足又快樂，感覺找到了人生的目標。

本文可以用建議法結(jié)尾。第三段先指出幫助別人并不是單向付出，助人會讓我們健康快樂。最后建議大家把助人當(dāng)成生活的一個重要部分，讓世界變得更加美好。

下面請看參考范文：

Nowadays more and more people take delight in helping the needy. Every Sunday finds my friend Monica Zhang， an office worker， working busily at a soup kitchen. Monica is hardly alone in her experience. According to a recent survey conducted in Shanghai， 84.1 percent of those polled said they lend a helping hand to the needy on a regular basis.

Helping others boosts our sense of happiness and helps us find meaning in our life. Helping out doesn’t just have a positive impact on the people we are helping， it’s also good for us. Nothing makes us feel better about ourselves than knowing that we’ve made a difference in someone’s life. Take my uncle as an example. After retiring from his job， he sank into depression as he felt at a loss what to do. Later he volunteered to work at a homeless shelter. A contented and happy man， he now feels like he has a purpose in life.

Helping the needy is never a one-way street. It makes us happy， which， in turn， makes us healthy. In order to make the world a better place， let’s make helping others an important part of our life. （196 words）

語言亮點借鑒：

1. Every Sunday finds my friend Monica Zhang， an office worker， working busily at a soup kitchen. 我的朋友莫妮卡·張是一位公司職員。每個星期天她都在一個施粥所忙碌地工作。

2. Nothing makes us feel better about ourselves than knowing that we’ve made a difference in someone’s life. 沒有什么比知道自己改變了別人的生活讓我們感覺更好了。make a difference in/to對……產(chǎn)生影響。

3. After retiring from his job， he sank into depression as he felt at a loss what to do. 因為不知道該做什么，他退休之后陷入消沉。feel at a loss感到不知所措。

4. A contented and happy man， he now feels like he has a purpose in life. 他現(xiàn)在是一個滿足又快樂的人，感覺人生有了目標。a contented and happy man是主語he的同位語，置于句首是為了調(diào)節(jié)句子的節(jié)奏。

5. Helping the needy is never a one-way street. 幫助窮人從來都不是單向付出。