提煉語篇主題，把握續(xù)寫內(nèi)涵

譙麗

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

在讀后續(xù)寫中，主題是語篇討論的焦點(diǎn)，是語篇的靈魂和統(tǒng)帥。主題滲透并貫穿語篇的全部內(nèi)容，體現(xiàn)作者寫作的主要意圖及其態(tài)度。讀后續(xù)寫的實(shí)質(zhì)是完整、恰當(dāng)?shù)乇磉_(dá)語篇主題的過程，把握語篇的主題是續(xù)寫的邏輯起點(diǎn)，是續(xù)寫的依據(jù)和方向。主題把握不恰當(dāng)，會(huì)讓我們的情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)不合邏輯，違背前文人物設(shè)定，情節(jié)偏離故事主線，或者感情基調(diào)與前文不匹配。因此，我們應(yīng)當(dāng)學(xué)會(huì)恰當(dāng)提煉語篇主題，正確把握續(xù)寫內(nèi)涵。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

1. 歷年高考讀后續(xù)寫的主題范圍都是圍繞人與自我、人與社會(huì)、人與自然這三大主題，通過常見的實(shí)際生活事例彰顯人性的光輝，體現(xiàn)人與社會(huì)、人與自然和諧共處。

2. 歷年高考讀后續(xù)寫的主題都是積極向上、弘揚(yáng)正能量、傳播美好品質(zhì)的。把握這一原則，有利于我們更好地挖掘出語篇主題。

3. 續(xù)寫是一個(gè)創(chuàng)新的過程，但我們在挖掘語篇主題的時(shí)候一定要有全局觀，不能只看到語篇中的某個(gè)單詞、某個(gè)短語就主觀臆斷文章主題，更不能脫離語篇實(shí)際，天馬行空地編造主題。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

A Mothers Day Surprise

The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.

The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 am. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next， Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time， she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.

Then， Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute， the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully， Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeffs hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then， she caught the smell of burning. Oh， dear！ The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

As the twins looked around them in disappointment， their father appeared. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

一、故事梳理

2021年新高考全國Ⅰ卷以第三人稱視角，講述了一對雙胞胎在母親節(jié)為母親做早餐并送上一份節(jié)日驚喜的故事。但由于缺乏做飯經(jīng)驗(yàn)，他們烤焦了面包，弄臟了廚房，Jeff燙傷了自己的手。在他們不知所措的時(shí)候，父親出現(xiàn)了，幫助他們順利完成了早餐，他們成功給母親送上了一份節(jié)日的驚喜和祝福。

二、常用招式

妙招1：從標(biāo)題看主題

一篇文章的標(biāo)題通常有以下作用：點(diǎn)明寫作的對象，概括文章的內(nèi)容，表達(dá)作者的感情，揭示文章的中心。因此，抓住了文章標(biāo)題就抓住了文章的主題。讀后續(xù)寫的語篇并不是每一篇都會(huì)有標(biāo)題，但只要有標(biāo)題，我們就一定要認(rèn)真分析標(biāo)題，先根據(jù)標(biāo)題預(yù)測文章主題，讓我們后面的續(xù)寫有一定的方向性。

本篇讀后續(xù)寫的標(biāo)題是A Mothers Day Surprise，通過這個(gè)標(biāo)題我們可以知道本文的主要對象是母親，文章主要講的是母親節(jié)的節(jié)日驚喜的故事。母親節(jié)是兒女對母親表達(dá)感激、愛意的節(jié)日。surprise一詞透露出這將是一份讓母親感到開心的禮物，所以我們可以推測本篇文章的主題是表達(dá)對母親的愛和感激，體現(xiàn)和諧美好的家庭關(guān)系。

妙招2：從主題段落或主題句看主題

主題句是表達(dá)段落或文章中心思想的句子，它能使讀者在閱讀時(shí)準(zhǔn)確地抓住段落或文章的中心思想。因此，如果我們能夠抓住一篇文章的主題句或者包含著主題句的主題段落，那么我們就抓住了文章的主題。很多情況下，我們是不能直接找到主題句的，但可以找到相關(guān)的主題段落，從而確定文章的主題。一般來講，主題段落要么是文章第一段，要么是最后一段。我們可以通過細(xì)讀主題段落中能夠表達(dá)感情色彩的形容詞和動(dòng)詞等，豐富我們根據(jù)標(biāo)題推測的主題。

這篇文章第二段和第三段都是在描述做早餐的過程，所以我們需要格外關(guān)注的主題段落一定是第一段。細(xì)讀第一段中的“The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed.”，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)語篇中出現(xiàn)了excitement、pleased和proud這些詞，它們體現(xiàn)了雙胞胎想到能夠在母親節(jié)給母親一個(gè)驚喜就非常興奮的心情，同時(shí)也體現(xiàn)了他們認(rèn)為母親看到這份驚喜一定會(huì)很高興、自豪。這些描述渲染的氛圍都是溫馨的，感情基調(diào)是歡快、愉悅的，由此我們可以得知他們很愛自己的母親，也可以感受到他們成長在一個(gè)溫暖的家庭。同時(shí)從“How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge.”這兩句話，我們可以進(jìn)一步完善我們根據(jù)標(biāo)題推測的主題——這份母親節(jié)的驚喜是雙胞胎親手做的烤面包和雞肉粥，并且他們會(huì)親自將食物送到母親的床邊，以此來表達(dá)他們對母親的愛。

妙招3：從人物形象看主題

人物形象是文章的重要組成部分。人物形象是文章的文眼，所以作者通常會(huì)通過對人物形象的描寫與刻畫，間接地反映其想要表達(dá)的思想感情。因此，我們可以通過分析、品讀文章的人物形象，來更好地理解作者的寫作目的和文章主題。

在所給的語篇中，作者用了excitement、went down the stairs quietly等描寫，把這對雙胞胎為母親準(zhǔn)備禮物的快樂、激動(dòng)和體貼、用心的形象生動(dòng)地展現(xiàn)出來。而孩子們的激動(dòng)和貼心都很好地反映出孩子們對母親深厚的愛。

妙招4：從情節(jié)發(fā)展看主題

情節(jié)是敘事性文學(xué)作品內(nèi)容構(gòu)成的要素之一，指在敘事作品中表現(xiàn)人物之間相互關(guān)系的一系列生活事件的發(fā)展過程。情節(jié)是由一系列展示人物性格、表現(xiàn)人物與人物、人物與環(huán)境之間相互關(guān)系的具體事件構(gòu)成的。情節(jié)對人物形象的塑造、主題的揭示等方面起著重要的作用，因此我們也可以從情節(jié)發(fā)展這一角度來挖掘文章主題。

所給語篇的情節(jié)發(fā)展可以概括為：雙胞胎早起準(zhǔn)備烤面包和煮雞肉粥——?jiǎng)傞_始，一切準(zhǔn)備工作都在順利進(jìn)行——由于缺乏經(jīng)驗(yàn)，他們遇到了重重困難。在這個(gè)故事中，根據(jù)他們剛開始做早餐時(shí)有條不紊的準(zhǔn)備過程，再結(jié)合第一段中的“They had watched their mother in the kitchen.”，我們可以感知平時(shí)在母親做飯時(shí)，這對雙胞胎會(huì)經(jīng)常在旁邊看著母親，不管是聊天，還是幫忙，這些都是一種很好的陪伴，這體現(xiàn)了雙胞胎與母親的關(guān)系很融洽、親近。

文章第二段后半部分和第三段描寫了雙胞胎在做早餐過程中遇到的重重困難——面包糊了、粥撒了、手被燙了，但他們都沒有放棄為母親準(zhǔn)備這份節(jié)日的驚喜，這也從側(cè)面反映出他們深深地愛著母親。

妙招5：從文章中的關(guān)鍵句看主題

關(guān)鍵句是指在文章中有重要地位和作用的句子。它可以是不同層次的中心句，也可以是結(jié)構(gòu)上的領(lǐng)起句、總結(jié)句和重要的過渡句，或者是在表達(dá)上有特色的句子，還可以是文章中一些哲理深厚的句子，這些都可以是文中作者情感表達(dá)的突破口。我們可以通過對這些句子的解讀，深化中心，理解作者的目的，把握文章的主題。

所給語篇第一段中有這樣一句話：“There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.”。雙胞胎在做早餐之前認(rèn)為自己以前看過母親做飯，所以覺得做飯沒有什么困難。對比后面他們在做早餐時(shí)遇到的困難，反映出做飯沒有想象中簡單，從側(cè)面體現(xiàn)出母親平時(shí)做飯的艱辛。這也是雙胞胎在這次勞動(dòng)中所體會(huì)到的，而這也應(yīng)該讓他們更深刻地體會(huì)到母親平時(shí)的辛苦，進(jìn)而更加感恩和珍惜母親的付出。

挖掘主題的方法有很多，但并不是每一篇文章都要用上所有的技巧，我們在平時(shí)的寫作中需要有意識(shí)地運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)姆椒ㄍ诰蛑黝}，熟能生巧，慢慢地，我們就能準(zhǔn)確高效地選擇恰當(dāng)?shù)姆椒?，提煉出文章的主題。

【參考范文】

Paragraph 1：

As the twins looked around them in disappointment， their father appeared. Looking at the black bread and messy stove， instead of scolding them， Father asked them what had happened. The twins told the whole story to him. After knowing what the twins planned to do， Father praised them and patiently helped them clean up the stove and guided them to make the breakfast. Under their fathers careful instructions， it didnt take long before the French toast and chicken porridge were ready. Everything settled， the twins couldnt wait to surprise their mother.

Paragraph 2：

The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.“Happy Mothers Day！ We love you， Mom！ ” yelled the twins excitedly. At the sight of the French toast and chicken porridge， their mothers eyes twinkled with joy and she held them in a warm embrace， saying， “Oh， my dear！ What a surprise！” The twins suggested their mother have a try and expressed their sincere gratitude， “It was until today that we knew it was not easy to cook. Thanks for everything youve done for us， Mom.” Tasting the special breakfast， their mother couldnt feel more pleased and proud. The early sunlight streaming in， the whole family was bathed in love and happiness.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Bird song

“Let it go！” Caroline yelled. Two boys were bending over a bird， as a third one held the poor creature roughly by its wings. “Youll hurt it，” Caroline looked fearful for the bird.

“Thats the point，” the boys laughed. The tallest stood up and glared at Caroline. “Here， catch this！” he said as the now broken?winged bird sailed at Caroline from his hands. The poor creature cried in pain， as its wings had been badly damaged. The boys ran off， laughing at their work.

Caroline bent down to carefully pick up the bird. The poor feathered soul was wriggling （扭動(dòng)） about， with a fearful look in its eyes. “Dont worry，” Caroline whispered softly. She took a handkerchief from her pocket and gently placed the bird on it.

Caroline walked as quickly as she could back to her house， careful not to shake the bird around too much. She found a shoe box， filled it with soft cotton balls and then laid the bird down in its new resting place.

“Let me get you some water and food. Thats the least I can do，” Caroline said. She took a tiny saucer from the kitchen， filled it with water， and placed it in the corner of the box. She managed to find some sunflower seeds， as that was the only bird?friendly food she could think of. Caroline was worried. She didnt want the bird to die. The poor bird now fast fell asleep， no doubt tired out from its earlier suffering. “Please dont die，” Caroline whispered tearfully.

If there was anyone whom she could turn to， it would be Mr Roberts. Mr Roberts was working at the nature museum. He had bird feeders throughout his yard， and sometimes， he would drop in her science class at school. Caroline never knew there was so much information about birds， until hearing him speak about them. She figured he would know what to do.

注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1：

Caroline called Mr Roberts and hurriedly told him her tale.? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

In the morning， the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society called Caroline， informing a car would come to pick up the bird at 10 am. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1. 我的續(xù)寫文章在主題、情節(jié)、語言及邏輯方面是否與原文故事完美契合？____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. 在解讀這篇文章的時(shí)候，我采用了什么方法來幫助自己提煉主題？我使用的方法是否恰當(dāng)？提煉的主題是否正確？____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. 我還需要掌握哪些主題解讀技巧？

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