English Jokes英語笑話

1. What Letter Can Hurt You If It Gets Too Close?

如果你挨得太近，什么字母會(huì)傷害你？

Teacher: What letter can hurt you if it gets too close， Jason?

Jason: B(bee).

老師：杰森，如果你挨得太近，什么字母會(huì)傷害你？

杰森：B(蜜蜂)。

Notes:

letter n.字母""" get too close 挨得太近

hurt v.傷害""" bee n.蜜蜂

2. The Letter “T” Is So Amazing!

字母“T”太神奇了！

Teacher: Mike， what starts with the letter “t”， is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?

Mike: A teapot!

老師：邁克，什么東西以字母“t”開頭，以“t”裝入，以“t”結(jié)尾？

麥克：茶壺！

Notes:

start v.開始""" end in ...以……結(jié)尾

start with ...以……開始""" teapot n.茶壺

be filled with ...以……裝進(jìn)去

3. What Color Were the Stairs?

樓梯是什么顏色的？

Lucy: In a one-story pink house， there was a pink person， a pink cat， a pink fish， a pink computer， a pink chair， a pink table， a pink telephone， and a pink shower. Everything was pink! What color were the stairs then?

Mary: There weren't any stairs. It was a one-story house!

露西：在一幢一層樓高的粉紅色房子里，有一個(gè)粉紅色皮膚的人，一只粉紅色的貓，一條粉紅色的魚，一臺(tái)粉紅色的電腦，一把粉紅色的椅子，一張粉紅色的餐桌，一部粉紅色的電話，還有一個(gè)粉紅色的淋蓬頭。所有的東西都是粉紅色的！那么，樓梯是什么顏色呢？

瑪麗：沒有樓梯。那是一幢平房！

Notes:

one-story 一層樓的""" shower n.淋蓬頭

pink adj.粉色的""" stair n.樓梯

person n.人""" one-story house 平房

4. I Gave It to a Poor Old Woman

我把它給了一個(gè)貧窮的老太婆

Little Robert was a small boy. He was very good and smart. Almost everybody liked him.

One day， Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”asked his mother.

“I gave it to a poor old woman，”he answered.

“You're a good boy，”said the mother proudly， “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

“She is the one who sells the candy，”Little Robert said.

小羅伯特是個(gè)小男孩。他很乖，很聰明。幾乎每個(gè)人都喜歡他。

一天，小羅伯特向他媽媽要兩分錢。

“我昨天給你的錢，你花哪兒了？”他母親問。

“我把它給了一個(gè)可憐的老婦人?！彼卮?。

“你是個(gè)好孩子，”母親驕傲地說，“再給你兩分錢。但是你為什么對(duì)這位老婦人這么感興趣呢？”

“她是賣糖果的?！毙×_伯特說。

Notes:

almost adv.幾乎""" poor adj.貧窮的；可憐的

cent n.分；百分之一元""" proudly adv.驕傲地

do with ...處理……""" interested in ...對(duì)……感興趣

money n.錢""" sell v.賣；出售

yesterday adv.昨天""" candy n.糖果

5.I Know the Reason of the Famine

我知道鬧饑荒的原因了

Bernard Shaw was a well-known British writer. He was bom on July 26，1856 and died on November 2，1950. He wrote many famous novels and a lot of interesting short stories. He won Nobel Prize in Literature in 1925. He was humorous absolutely， but he was very thin.

One day， Bernard Shaw was invited to a big dinner party. At the party， a capitalist looked at Bernard Shaw up and down for a while， and said in all seriousness， “Look at your appearance. It really makes people believe that all the British are starving.”

Bernard Shaw examined the very fat capitalist， and said immediately， “But I know the reason why Britain is suffering famine as soon as I saw you.”

蕭伯納是英國(guó)著名作家。他出生于1856年7月26日，于1950年11月2日去世。他寫了許多著名的小說和許多有趣的短文。他于1925年獲得諾貝爾文學(xué)獎(jiǎng)。他絕對(duì)幽默，但是身材很瘦。

一天，蕭伯納被邀請(qǐng)參加一個(gè)盛大的晚宴。在聚會(huì)上，一個(gè)資本家上下打量了蕭伯納一會(huì)兒，然后一本正經(jīng)地說：“看看你的外表，真讓人相信所有的英國(guó)人都在挨餓?！?/p>

蕭伯納審視了那個(gè)肥胖的資本家，立刻說道：“可我一見到你，我就知道英國(guó)遭受饑荒的原因了?！?/p>

Notes:

novel n.小說""" appearance n.外表；外貌

humorous adj.幽默的""" starving adj.挨餓的

absolutely adv.絕對(duì)地""" examine v.審視；注視

capitalist n.資本家""" suffer v.承受；遭受