廣東 譙 麗
我和朋友扔石子玩時,不小心打破了鄰居的窗戶。由于害怕被責(zé)罵,我逃離了現(xiàn)場。 但逃跑后的我心里一直忐忑不安。 我會被發(fā)現(xiàn)并被責(zé)罵嗎? 鄰居發(fā)現(xiàn)窗戶破了會怎么做呢?
題材 體裁個人經(jīng)歷 記敘文 332 ★★★文章詞數(shù) 難度建議用時5分鐘
I have already forgotten the name of that old lady. Yet I still remember the matter as if it happened yesterday. It is she who teaches me a lesson in forgiveness.
It happened when I was twelve years old. That summer holiday, I planned to earn some pocket money by delivering the newspaper in our neighborhood. And she was a customer on my paper route.She was a kind lady and every time I gave her the paper, she would give me some cookies.
On a mindless Saturday afternoon, a friend and I were throwing rocks onto the roof of the old lady's house from a quiet spot in her backyard. The purpose of our play was to observe how the rocks changed to missiles (導(dǎo)彈) as they rolled to the roof's edge and shot out into the yard like comets (彗星) falling from the sky.
I found myself a perfectly smooth rock and sent it for a ride. The stone was too smooth, however,so it slipped from my hand as I let it go. Seeing it headed straight for a small window on the old lady's back porch (門廊), we stood there, numb with fear. The sound of broken glass awoke us from the fear and the next second, we ran away from the old lady's yard faster than any of our missiles flowing off her roof.
After coming back home, I was so scared of getting caught that I dared not go out that whole afternoon. I stayed at home, glancing at my front yard nervously from time to time, feeling that lady would knock at our door at any time. But until I went to bed, what I was afraid didn't happen. Lying in bed, I wondered whether she didn't discover the broken window or she didn't discover who had done it? That was a sleepless night.
Useful sentence patterns
1. I still remember the matter as if it happened yesterday.
分析:as if從句用了虛擬語氣。 整個句子意為“我仍然記得那件事,它好像就發(fā)生在昨天”。
2. I was so scared of getting caught that I dared not go out that whole afternoon.
分析:“so+ adj./adv. + that + 句子”的結(jié)構(gòu)意為“如此……以至于……”。同義短語還有“such+n. + that + 句子”。
閱讀上面的文章,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
注意:
1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好。
Paragraph 1:
The next morning, I delivered the paper to her as usual.__________________________________
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Paragraph 2:
After three weeks, I earned seven dollars and I put them in an envelope which I secretly put through the letter slot in her door._______________________________________________________
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寫作導(dǎo)引
一、語篇研讀
讀后續(xù)寫要求續(xù)寫的部分在情節(jié)和邏輯方面與原文高度契合。 為此,我們必須在掌握文本大意和敘述意圖的前提下,分析所給文章的情境模式。
分析記敘文的情境模式,就需要關(guān)注5個W,即who、what、when、where及why。 我們在閱讀時要把握故事的情節(jié)線,分析故事的起因、開始、發(fā)展,并歸納出故事的主要矛盾。 我們可以根據(jù)文章中已知的信息,如情感線索、行為線索、時間線索、空間線索等來推斷將要發(fā)生的事情,合理構(gòu)思續(xù)寫部分的情節(jié)。
要素 分析:所給短文的情境模式 發(fā)展:續(xù)寫短文的情境模式 說明:如此構(gòu)思的理由Who I, a friend, the old lady I, the old lady What A friend and I threw rocks onto the roof of the old lady's house and broke her window by accident. Instead of apologizing to her, we escaped.The next morning, when I delivered the paper to the lady as usual, she didn't mention the broken window. Three weeks later,when I secretly gave her the money I had earned to make up for my mistake, the old lady returned the money. She knew it was me at the very beginning, but she chose to forgive me. I learned to forgive from her.When On a mindless Saturday afternoon The next morning and after three weeks Where A kind person tends to be tolerant.An unforgettable experience or an unforgettable person can teach us a lot.In the old lady's home The old lady was very kind.The old lady's tolerance left a deep impression on me.Why In the old lady's backyard We threw the rocks for fun.We were afraid of being scolded and punished, so we escaped.
二、情節(jié)構(gòu)思
基于原文和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息,采用圍繞中心提問的方法,構(gòu)思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié),這個過程一般分為四步。
第一步,根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。
文章給出的部分主要記敘了在一個無所事事的下午,我和朋友往鄰居家屋頂扔石頭玩,不小心打破了她家的窗戶。 結(jié)合文章第一段可推斷出本文的立意是“寬恕”。
第二步,根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)包括什么內(nèi)容。
分析第二段的段首句可知,續(xù)寫第一段要寫“我沒有被發(fā)現(xiàn),但我內(nèi)心悔悟,決定通過自己兼職賺錢來彌補(bǔ)鄰居的損失”的情節(jié),這樣才能確保續(xù)寫的兩段是相銜接的。
第三步,圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思:
(1)How did I feel when I delivered the paper to the old lady the next morning?
(2)What did the old lady do or say when she got the paper?
第四步,圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思:
(1)How did I feel after I made up for my mistake?
(2)What did the old lady do after she got the money?
(3)What did I learn from this experience?
三、潤色成篇
在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意情節(jié)連貫及各部分內(nèi)容相銜接, 即:1. 兩段的續(xù)寫與所給短文的銜接;2. 每段的續(xù)寫與段首句之間的銜接;3. 續(xù)寫的兩段之間的銜接。 同時要注意語言風(fēng)格的一致和語法、句型以及所用詞的準(zhǔn)確性。 比如,刻畫人物形象時運用恰當(dāng)?shù)男稳菰~使其栩栩如生;描寫人物心理活動時使用一些動詞或副詞使其細(xì)微深人。