Love Across Rivers and Mountains

Text by Wu Huaqing,Hu Man ＆ Yang Lin

Edited by Bai Ning

In the past decade,Fan Honghua,a Han mother,traveled between the snowy plateau and metropolitan Wuhan time and again,to help raise Nimalam,a Tibetan girl who has now grown up into a pretty,healthy,and smiling teenager from a helpless and desperate girl.

W ith wavy dancing steps and flowing skirts,a graceful figure was whirling on the stage in the accompaniment of the melody of“Velvet Flower.”O(jiān)n November 11,2020,at the Art College of Tibet University,Nimalam,a 16-year-old Tibetan girl and freshman was performing the danceFang Huawith ease and confidence.

In Wuhan,more than 2,200 kilometers away,Fan Honghua was watching the girl dancing in a video,with tears rolling down her cheeks.This love that has crossed nationalities and transcended blood ties has been full of hardships,yet warm and steady throughout.

This mother-daughter relationship began on a summer day in July 2007.

10 余年里，從雪域高原到江城武漢，從無助的瘦弱女孩到笑靨如花的亭亭少女，漢族媽媽范紅華用如海的母愛在藏族女孩尼瑪拉姆的心里播下溫暖的種子，種子一路發(fā)芽、長大，鮮花一樣綻放……

輕移蓮步，羅裙蹁躚，伴隨著《絨花》柔美的音樂，一個輕盈的身姿在舞臺上盡情舒展。2020年11月11日，在西藏大學(xué)藝術(shù)學(xué)院，今年剛考入該校的新生、16 歲藏族女孩尼瑪拉姆深情地演繹著舞蹈《芳華》。

而在相隔2200余公里的武漢，看著視頻里的孩子，兩行熱淚順著媽媽范紅華的臉頰流淌著，浸潤到嘴角，咸咸的，一如這份跨越民族、超越血親的情緣，飽含艱澀，但溫暖而堅定。

這份母女情緣，始于2007年7月的一個夏日。

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那天，時任武漢市青年企業(yè)家協(xié)會副會長的范紅華，與幾位青年企業(yè)家一起，來到西藏自治區(qū)原山南地區(qū)乃東縣，捐資25 萬元建設(shè)頗章鄉(xiāng)格拉村希望小學(xué)，讓村里孩子結(jié)束步行數(shù)公里去外地上學(xué)的奔波之苦。捐贈儀式上，范紅華向當(dāng)?shù)馗刹苛髀冻鱿胭Y助一名孤兒的想法。

“有個叫尼瑪拉姆的藏族女孩，出生時，母親難產(chǎn)去世。4 歲時，父親又在一次泥石流中遇難。孩子由姨媽代養(yǎng)，可姨媽也有兩個女兒，家庭并不寬裕，沒法照顧好這個孩子?！币幻刹拷榻B。范紅華決心資助尼瑪拉姆?；貪h后，她定期給尼瑪拉姆寄去學(xué)費(fèi)、生活費(fèi)和禮物，還不時與尼瑪拉姆通電話。2009年國慶節(jié)，范紅華再度奔赴西藏，去見見這個未曾謀面的小女孩。

6 歲的尼瑪拉姆耷拉著腦袋，悄悄瞥了一眼這個遠(yuǎn)道而來的阿姨，就怯生生地躲到姨媽身后。瘦小、渾身污垢，一根根橡皮筋緊緊地扎在頭發(fā)上。范紅華看著，心中疼著，拿起梳子輕輕地梳著尼瑪拉姆的頭發(fā)，淚水奪眶而出，她決定給這個可憐的孩子真正的母愛！

“愿意讓我當(dāng)你的媽媽嗎？”范紅華試探地問?？粗都t華愛憐的眼神，小尼瑪拉姆遲疑片刻后輕輕地點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。范紅華和她約定，試住3 個月，如果不適應(yīng)，可以隨時回西藏。征得孩子姨媽同意后，第二天，從未出過遠(yuǎn)門的尼瑪拉姆，緊緊拉著范媽媽的手，從拉薩飛成都、再飛到武漢，暈機(jī)嚴(yán)重，吐了一路，范紅華小心翼翼地照顧著。

One day,Fan Honghua,the then vice president of the Wuhan Young Entrepreneurs Association,together with several young entrepreneurs,went to Nêdong County,the former Shannan Prefecture of Tibet Autonomous Region and made a donation of 250,000 yuan to build a Hope Primary School in Gela Village,Pozhang Township so that local children didn’t have to walk several kilometers to go to school any more.At the donation ceremony,Fan Honghua told local officials that she wanted to sponsor an orphan.

“There is a girl named Nimalam,whose mother died of dystocia during birth and father got killed in a mudslide when she was 4.The child is now cared for by her aunt,who has two daughters herself.The family is not well-off enough to take care of her,” A local official told Fan Honghua,and she quickly decided to sponsor Nimalam.After returning to Wuhan,she regularly mailed Nimalam tuition fees,living expenses,and gifts,and called her from time to time.On National Day of 2009,Fan Honghua went to Tibet to meet this little girl in person for the first time.

6-year-old Nimalam hung down her head,hiding behind her aunt timidly,quietly glancing at the woman who had come all this way to see her.

Looking at this skinny and dirty girl,with hair tightly pulled together by many rubber bands,Fan Honghua felt her heart aching.In tears,she picked up a comb and gently made up the little girl’s hair.She was determined at that moment to give this poor child true maternal love.

“Will you let me be your mother?” Fan Honghua asked tentatively.Feeling the love and care in her eyes,little Nimalam nodded gently after a brief hesitation.Fan Honghua made an agreement with her that they would have a trial period of 3 months.If Nimalam couldn’t adapt to life in Wuhan with her,she could return to Tibet at any time.With the consent of her aunt,Nimalam,who had never traveled before,boarded the plane with Fan Honghua the next day.She held onto her new mom’s hand tightly and flew from Lhasa to Chengdu and then to Wuhan.Fan Honghua took care of her carefully when the little girl suffered from heavy airsickness and vomited along the way.

Although Fan Honghua felt fully prepared mentally,she was still at a loss as to how to get along with a Tibetan girl due to different life habits and cultural customs,on top of the language barrier.

Fan Honghua prepared a big and clean room for Nimalam,where she especially put up a Tibetan landscape painting on the wall to help the little girl feel at home.Not long after Fan Honghua noticed that Nimalam tended to kick the quilt off at night.One night,she went into her room and tried to cover her,yet unexpectedly the girl was startled and woke up from her sleep.Her horrified and defensive eyes struck Fan Honghua deeply,who realized that her heart seemed to be walled up.She locked herself inside her mind and kept others out.Sometimes,the girl would cry for more than an hour for no reason.When asked why,she had no response.

During the 3 months,their communication went on not so smoothly.But out of her expectation,at the end of the trial period,Nimalam told her uneasily that she would like to stay,which made Fan Honghua very happy.After that,Fan Honghua reduced her social obligations and devoted herself to looking after Nimalam.From diet arrangements to clothing and dressing,from school work to hygiene habits,Fan Honghua was hands-on in everything in hope of spending more time with Nimalam.She would take her to a Tibetan restaurant in Hankou every week to drink butter tea and recall the taste of her hometown.Through a friend’s help she managed to find a young lady from Nêdong in Tibet who was now working in Wuhan.She invited the young lady to visit her home to talk and play with Nimalam.Moreover,she enrolled Nimalam in the Taipei Road Primary School,and hired a tutor to teach Nimalam Chinese and a nanny to take care of her daily life.

Fan Honghua is celebrating Nimalam’s birthday on October 8,2016 2016年10月8日，范紅華為尼瑪拉姆慶祝生日

雖然范紅華已做好充分的心理準(zhǔn)備，但因生活習(xí)慣不同、語言交流障礙、文化習(xí)俗差異，如何與這個藏族孩子相處，范紅華感到一片茫然。

范紅華將家里一間寬敞明亮的房間收拾出來，貼上西藏風(fēng)景畫，讓尼瑪拉姆安頓下來。剛回家不久，范紅華就發(fā)現(xiàn)尼瑪拉姆夜晚愛踢被子。一天深夜，范紅華輕輕地走進(jìn)她的房間，悄悄給尼瑪拉姆蓋上被子。不料，孩子從睡夢中驚醒。那驚恐和抵觸的眼神，剎那間刻進(jìn)范紅華的腦海，揮之不去。范紅華發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子內(nèi)心有一道堅冰。她走不出來，別人也走不進(jìn)去。有時，她會莫名其妙地哭上一個多小時。問她原因，也沒有任何回應(yīng)。

3 個月里，交流一直在磕絆中進(jìn)行。但出乎范紅華預(yù)料的是，試住期滿后，尼瑪拉姆忐忑地告訴她想留下。范紅華很高興。那段時間，范紅華推掉所有的應(yīng)酬，全身心投入尼瑪拉姆的生活中，從飲食安排到穿衣搭配，從學(xué)習(xí)輔導(dǎo)到衛(wèi)生習(xí)慣培養(yǎng)，事必躬親，只是為了多和孩子在一起。她每周帶著尼瑪拉姆去漢口的一家西藏餐廳，喝酥油茶，品嘗“家鄉(xiāng)的味道”；她還托朋友幫忙，找到一位在武漢工作的西藏乃東女孩到家里做客，陪尼瑪拉姆說話、玩耍；同時，她把尼瑪拉姆安排到臺北路小學(xué)，并請專門的老師教她學(xué)漢語，生活上則雇請一位保姆予以照料。

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2011年一個秋日的深夜，尼瑪拉姆突然發(fā)起高燒，忙碌一天剛躺下的范紅華摸著女兒滾燙的額頭，心急如焚，背起女兒就往附近醫(yī)院跑。那晚，范紅華抱著孩子往返于醫(yī)院的各個窗口辦手續(xù)，陪女兒輸液到凌晨兩點(diǎn)多。母愛悄無聲息，卻一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)融進(jìn)尼瑪拉姆的心里。

“趴在媽媽溫暖的背上，我覺得自己是世界上最幸福的孩子?！被貞浧甬?dāng)年的一幕，尼瑪拉姆臉上滿是愜意。

2012年8月，陪尼瑪拉姆回西藏，范紅華突然發(fā)起高燒，伴著強(qiáng)烈高原反應(yīng)，硬扛幾天后，她臥床不起?！翱旎匚錆h治療，不然你有生命危險?！蓖械尼t(yī)生朋友下了道命令?！安恍?，我陪孩子一起來，就要陪孩子一起回去。”幾天的驚心總算化險為夷，尼瑪拉姆更深深體味到母親的那份呵護(hù)與執(zhí)著。

On June 5,2019,the mother and daughter taking a new photo at the same site where they first met ten years ago 2019年6月5日，在母女第一次見面10年后，范紅華和尼瑪拉姆在原址再次拍照留念

One nightin the autumn of 2011,Nimalam suddenly got sick and developed a high fever.Having just come back home after a long busy day at work,Fan Honghua was distraught by the girl’s hot forehead.She picked the girl up and ran to the closest hospital.That night,Fan Honghua went back and forth among various departments in the hospital,handling procedures with the girl on her back.She stayed by Nimalam’s side until she finished her intravenous drips at two o’clock in the middle of the night.Her love was silent,which melted Nimalam’s heart little by little.

“I felt like the luckiest child in the world on my mother’s warm back.” Recalling the scene that year,Nimalam had a happy smile on her face.

In August of 2012,while visiting Tibet with Nimalam,Fan Honghua suddenly fell ill and developed a high fever,accompanied by strong altitude sickness.After two days it got worse and she couldn’t get out of bed.“Go back to Wuhan for treatment,or your life will be in danger,” The doctor warned her.

一次偶然的機(jī)會，范紅華帶尼瑪拉姆去唱歌。話語不多的尼瑪拉姆居然主動拿過話筒，有模有樣地唱起來。和著優(yōu)美的旋律，她還扭動腰肢，跳起了藏族舞蹈。那一刻，范紅華興奮極了，她仿佛看到了孩子的天資和興趣，決定讓孩子學(xué)音樂。她聘請了專業(yè)的音樂和舞蹈老師，每周兩次教孩子唱歌、跳舞。尼瑪拉姆一度覺得訓(xùn)練枯燥，心里打起退堂鼓。范紅華邊給孩子按腿，邊鼓勵孩子不要放棄，努力做下去才能成功。

尼瑪拉姆的內(nèi)心開始和媽媽貼近了。在范紅華的精心照料下，尼瑪拉姆的身心發(fā)著變化：來時灰土的臉色，慢慢有了紅潤；瘦弱的身材，漸漸有些豐盈；原來沉默寡言，現(xiàn)在也主動打開了話匣子。

2016年1月的一天，范紅華的母親因心梗突然離世，悲痛萬分的她守候在母親的靈堂，任淚水在臉上流淌。尼瑪拉姆掏出小手絹，為媽媽擦拭眼淚，不肯去睡覺，執(zhí)意陪媽媽到天亮。范紅華感覺到孩子有顆滾燙的心，一把摟緊尼瑪拉姆，母女倆不禁熱淚奔涌。

平日里，范紅華還帶著女兒參加各種公益活動。去希望小學(xué)看望留守兒童；走進(jìn)孝感農(nóng)村福利院，為爺爺、奶奶穿棉衣；到兒童福利院，送上親手挑選的禮物……從受助到助人，尼瑪拉姆有了另一份收獲。

在升初中、高中的人生節(jié)點(diǎn)，范紅華都陪著孩子一遍遍地參觀學(xué)校，反復(fù)比較、分析，充分尊重孩子的選擇；尼瑪拉姆手術(shù)了，范紅華徹夜守在病床旁，給她換藥；范紅華還特意把孩子的支付寶捆綁到自己的銀行卡上，讓她有當(dāng)家的感覺，給孩子存在感、歸屬感，讓她變得自信、自立。

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如今，那個身穿藏族服飾、臉龐黝黑的小女孩，已變得亭亭玉立。她喜歡牽著媽媽的手，頭靠在媽媽肩膀上親密耳語。在旁人眼中，尼瑪拉姆和媽媽范紅華是一對親密無間的母女。范紅華特意給尼瑪拉姆買了部智能手機(jī)。用藏語和姨媽、姐姐分享開心事，成了尼瑪拉姆的日常。

On October 8,2009,Fan Honghua and Nimalam meeting for the first time in Nêdong County,Shannan Prefecture,Tibet2009年10月8日，范紅華和尼瑪拉姆在西藏山南地區(qū)乃東縣第一次見面

But Fan Honghua refused to leave,“No,I came with my child,and I must go back with her.”Luckily she eventually managed through the hard times and got better.Her maternal love and dedication as a mother were felt by young Nimalam.

On one occasion,Fan Honghua took Nimalam to Karaoke.Unexpectedly,the usually quiet girl showed interest for the first time by picking up the microphone and singing nicely.She even twirled a bit and started doing a Tibetan dance to go with the beautiful melody.Fan Honghua was surprised and impressed by the child’s potential talent and interest.She decided to let her learn music and hired professional teachers to teach her singing and dancing twice a week.Once,Nimalam felt the training boring and wanted to give up.Fan Honghua massaged her legs and encouraged her not to give up,since success has to be won by hard work.

Nimalam got closer and closer to her foster mother.Under Fan Honghua’s care,Nimalam went through physical and mental changes.The sallow,small,stringy,and reticent girl became rosy-cheeked,stronger,talkative,and active.

In January of 2016,Fan Honghua’s mother died due to a heart attack.She kept vigil in her mother’s mourning hall with grief and couldn’t help her tears.Nimalam took out her small handkerchief to wipe her tears away and insisted on staying up with her until dawn.Fan Honghua felt the child’s love for her,and hugged Nimalam tightly.The mother and daughter cried together.

In their spare time,Fan Honghua would take Nimalam to various charity activities,such as visiting left-behind children at Hope Primary School,helping old people dress up at the Xiaogan Rural Welfare House,giving gifts to children in the orphanage,and other acts of kindness.From being helped to helping others,Nimalam learned a lot.

At important milestones like entering junior high and senior high school,Fan Honghua was always there for her daughter.She accompanied her to check out different schools,comparing and analyzing in order to find the ones she liked best; she fully respected her choice; when Nimalam had an operation,Fan Honghua stayed by her side in the hospital all night; she linked Nimalam’s Alipay to her bank card to give the child more financial freedom,so that she would feel at home.The sense of belonging has made Nimalam more confident and independent.

The little shy girlin Tibetan clothes 10 years ago has grown into a slim and pretty young lass,who enjoys holding her foster mother’s hand and sharing secrets on her shoulder.Nimalam and Fan Honghua have an intimate and close relationship even in bystanders’ eyes.Fan Honghua bought Nimalam a smartphone so that she could share happy things with her aunt and cousins in Tibet on a daily basis.

Fan Honghua and Nimalam still kept their agreement to return to Tibet at least once a year.When the summer vacation came,they would go on a big shopping trip and prepare presents for Nimalam’s family members in Tibet.Thoughtful Fan Honghua would always prepare a red envelope especially for Nimalam’s aunt.

Fan Honghua’s deeds have influenced many people around her.Deng Yanping,Nimalam’s dance teacher,would look after Nimalam when Fan Honghua was out on business trips; Song Jiani,the headteacher in Nimalam’s elementary school,went to Fan Honghua’s home every day after school to help with Nimalam’s homework for 5 years.On the day of the graduation ceremony,Nimalam held Song Jiani’s hand to express her thanks with tears.

On October 27,2014,Fan Honghua and the children on the first Volunteer Charity Carnival of Hubei Province (Photos provided by Fan Honghua)2014年10月27日，范紅華帶孩子們參加首屆湖北省志愿者公益嘉年華（照片均為范紅華提供）

Nimalam wrote in her diary,“I once thought I was the most unfortunate person in the world until my foster mother showed up and slowly lifted the big rock in my heart with love.In Wuhan,I had my mother and brother,as well as many people who have given me a lot of love,like Mrs.Deng and Mrs.Song.Because of their love,I no longer fear the wind and rain in my life.”

Nimalam has kept many photos and videos of her and mum in her mobile phone album.Below the blue sky and white clouds of Tibet,Fan Honghua and Nimalam walked arm in arm along the beautiful lake down the snow-capped mountains.In 2020,Nimalam was successfully admitted to Tibet University,which brought Fan Honghua a lot of joy.

The story between Fan Honghua and Nimalam was reported by the media and known by the public,which moved every reader and listener.On October 15,2020,Fan Honghua was nominated for the 11th “China Charity Award.” (Translation:Lu Qiongyao)

每年至少回一次西藏家鄉(xiāng)，范紅華和尼瑪拉姆有一個不變的約定。放暑假了，尼瑪拉姆會和媽媽一道，到商場采購一大堆禮物。細(xì)心的范紅華還會特地包一個大紅包，給尼瑪拉姆的姨媽。

范紅華的大愛，感動著身邊的人。有時，范紅華出差了，舞蹈老師鄧燕萍會把尼瑪拉姆接到自己家住幾天。小學(xué)班主任宋佳倪每天放學(xué)后，都堅持到范紅華家，悉心輔導(dǎo)尼瑪拉姆作業(yè)，堅持了5年。小學(xué)畢業(yè)典禮的那天，尼瑪拉姆令人意外地拉起宋佳倪的手，輕語道謝，淚眼婆娑。

“曾經(jīng)，我覺得我是世界上最不幸的人，媽媽用愛心把我心頭的那塊大石頭慢慢撬起。在武漢，我不僅有了媽媽、哥哥，還有了鄧媽媽、宋老師等許許多多的親人，她們給予了我很多的愛，讓我不再畏懼風(fēng)雨?！蹦岈斃返娜沼浝镉涗浿痪渚溥@樣的心語。

在尼瑪拉姆的手機(jī)相冊里，保存著這些年她和媽媽回西藏的照片和視頻。藍(lán)天白云下，范紅華和尼瑪拉姆手挽著手，漫步雪山下的美麗湖畔。2020年，尼瑪拉姆順利考上西藏大學(xué)，這是范紅華心中最深切的慰藉。

媒體報道后，這個感人的故事走進(jìn)公眾的視野，感動著每一位讀者和聽眾。2020年10月15日，范紅華被提名第十一屆“中華慈善獎”。