似曾相識(shí)

周海祺

Neighbors who came across the old colonel lately, on one or several of his many saunters along the banks of the Suzhou river, often described him as drifting in some dreamy trance. Indeed, having devoted his youth to a life, literally, on bullets and knives, it was not in the colonel’s nature to settle down. In the past, neighbors observed, the colonel had an unspoken habit to never sit during his walks, inching a foot in front another as briskly as a man of his age can, with the help of a crimson spruce walking stick that thuds rhythmically against the ground. But just yesterday afternoon, multiple witnesses reported spotting the colonel rest upon a dilapidated wooden bench facing the river, staring at perhaps the monotonous ripples of water, and seemed not to hear greetings from neighbors for the first ten seconds he was spoken to.

最近，老上校多次在蘇州河岸邊散步，偶然遇到他的鄰居們都說(shuō)他有點(diǎn)恍恍惚惚的樣子。事實(shí)上，上校把他的青春都奉獻(xiàn)給了槍林彈雨，他本來(lái)是個(gè)不愿意安定下來(lái)的人。以往，鄰居們都知道，上校有個(gè)不動(dòng)聲色的習(xí)慣，他散步時(shí)從不坐下來(lái)歇息，只用一根深紅色云杉手杖有節(jié)奏地敲打地面，然后顫巍巍地拖著后面的腳，挪到另外一只腳前面來(lái)，就像他這樣年紀(jì)的老年人那樣。但就在昨天下午，多名目擊者說(shuō)，他們看見(jiàn)上校躺在一張破舊的木凳上，面對(duì)著那條河，眼睛盯著單調(diào)的水波紋，在鄰居們和他說(shuō)話的最初十秒鐘里，他都似乎沒(méi)有聽(tīng)到鄰居們的問(wèn)候。

The neighborhood was small, its residents generally rich, which left them few chores to attend to during the day—two prime components for gossip to spread with range and alacrity. By the time the old colonel’s son returned from work,rottenly exhausted, he was the last in the household of four—that is, himself, the colonel, his wife, and his son, Yu—to be in on the discovery of the colonel’s shifting way, save for the colonel himself. Soon as the man trudged over the door, his wife started unleashing all the day’s accumulated chatter, but the man merely nodded along at random times as she spoke,propped his working bag against the wall, and sank into the sofa, eyes closed.

這個(gè)社區(qū)很小，居民們都很富裕，他們?cè)谝惶熘袔缀鯖](méi)有什么家務(wù)事可做，這個(gè)原因使得八卦總能大范圍快速傳播。當(dāng)老上校的兒子下班回來(lái)的時(shí)候，疲憊不堪的他，成了家里四個(gè)人中最后一個(gè)發(fā)現(xiàn)上校轉(zhuǎn)變的人，當(dāng)然這不包括上校本人。這個(gè)家庭有四個(gè)人，他自己、上校、他的妻子和他的兒子小于。當(dāng)這個(gè)男人拖著疲憊的步伐走到家門(mén)口時(shí)，他的妻子便開(kāi)始滔滔不絕地講起了她一整天累積的喋喋不休的話語(yǔ)。當(dāng)她說(shuō)話時(shí)，這個(gè)男人只是隨便點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭，把他的工作包靠在墻上，然后閉上眼睛坐在沙發(fā)上。

Son of a prominent colonel, the pervasive hardships of the Republic’s early days were often knowledge derived from lore of less fortunate contemporaries. Like the river that constantly to his four-story mansion, like the vrooming vehicles streaming down the adjacent highway, adversity, in the shape of grievous struggle, had never slowed his life.

作為一個(gè)聲名顯赫的上校的兒子，共和國(guó)早期普遍存在的困難往往來(lái)自于同時(shí)代不那么幸運(yùn)的人的說(shuō)法。就像那條不斷涌向他四層豪宅的河流，就像呼嘯而過(guò)的汽車在附近的公路上川流不息，以痛苦掙扎的形式出現(xiàn)的逆境從來(lái)沒(méi)有妨礙過(guò)他的生活。

Despite his fortune, he was cultivated not as a flimsy flower in the greenhouse, but rather raised going through artificial ordeals, like a rose tended by a malicious gardener, sometimes receiving too much water, sometimes too little. His colonel father, during the liberation war, had seen the worst of it, had been through living hell. The colonel was privy to the ingredients that mold a man, the conditions suitable for the forging of will and soul. So he permitted no academic failings of any kind, sent his son to military training camps in the rare free times during summer, and made sure his son completed all capable tasks on his own, which finally, as he saw in earnest, earned his son a rise to the top.

盡管他很有錢(qián)，但他并不是作為溫室里的一朵脆弱的花朵一樣被栽培的，而是在考驗(yàn)下被養(yǎng)大。就像被有惡意的園丁照料的玫瑰，有時(shí)澆水太多，有時(shí)澆水又太少。他的上校父親，在解放戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)期間，見(jiàn)多了最糟糕的場(chǎng)面，也經(jīng)歷過(guò)人間地獄。上校了解培養(yǎng)成才的要素，以及塑造意志和靈魂的必備條件。因此，他不允許任何形式的掛科，在夏季難得的空閑時(shí)間把兒子送到軍訓(xùn)營(yíng)，并確保兒子獨(dú)立完成所有應(yīng)該完成的任務(wù)。最終，正如他熱切期待的那樣，為兒子贏得了晉升到頂尖崗位的機(jī)會(huì)。

* * *

The wife wanted to talk. She was a kettle that just started to boil. How’s your day, she said. I bought some grapes for all of us. Some mangoes, too. You heard about Grandpa? Thought he’d never get old. So many battles, and still can’t fight time, can he.

妻子還想繼續(xù)嘮叨。她像是一個(gè)剛開(kāi)始沸騰的水壺?！敖裉爝^(guò)得怎么樣”，她說(shuō)?！拔医o家里買(mǎi)了一些葡萄，還有芒果。你聽(tīng)說(shuō)爺爺?shù)氖铝税?我還以為他永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)變老。歷經(jīng)這么多的戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，卻仍然不能戰(zhàn)勝歲月，是吧?！?/p>

The man kept his eyelids shut. Of course the Colonel was getting old. No need to fuss about that. But the stream of mouse clicks and keyboard hits that have been flowing from Yu’s room for a while now—that was what impeded the man’s work and troubled his sleep.

男人閉上了眼皮。上校當(dāng)然是老了。沒(méi)有必要為此大驚小怪。但現(xiàn)在，從小于的房間里傳來(lái)的持續(xù)不斷的鼠標(biāo)點(diǎn)擊和鍵盤(pán)敲擊的聲音，不僅妨礙了他的工作，也影響了他的睡眠。

For the greater number of Yu’s eleven years he had led an unrestrained life, largely due to a grandfather who commanded far less authority than his former title indicated and a father busier than the president, a circumstance eliciting envy from the bulk of Yu’s overworked peers. Other than the plethora of video games that he engages himself with,which for him usually ended in more defeats than victory, he had, in a large measure, obtained what he wanted from the world—unnecessarily pricey skateboards (not that he actually skates), desktops too advanced for his age, a pure and adorable ragdoll cat, amid other things of the sort. He was not so much spoiled as he was oblivious to the other walks of life, and as a result of perpetual contentment, knew life to hold no grander purpose. So when Yu was told of holiday plans to go mountain climbing, he was not quite sure if he had heard right.

11歲的小于在大部分時(shí)間里，都過(guò)著無(wú)拘無(wú)束的生活，這主要是因?yàn)樗淖娓覆辉儆邢袼郧邦^銜所附帶的權(quán)威，而他的父親比國(guó)家主席還要忙，這讓小于那些過(guò)度勞累的同齡人羨慕不已。除了在他癡迷的電子游戲上，他也常常負(fù)多勝少。在很大程度上，他得到了他想要的所有東西：昂貴的滑板(實(shí)際上他也很少玩兒)；對(duì)于他的年齡來(lái)說(shuō)太高配的臺(tái)式電腦；一只純種可愛(ài)的布偶貓，和其他類似的很多東西。他并不是被寵壞了，而是對(duì)社會(huì)的方面都一無(wú)所知。由于他總是在物質(zhì)上得到滿足，因此對(duì)于生活失去了大的目標(biāo)。當(dāng)小于被告知假期計(jì)劃去爬山時(shí)，他當(dāng)然不太確定自己是否聽(tīng)錯(cuò)了。

Mountain climbing? said Yu, even looking away from the flashing screen for a second, to locate the origin of this absurd suggestion, his voice a mix of incredulity and sarcasm. The virtual figure on his screen that was expecting orders went stiff for a split second and, after a wave of remorseless enemy fire, dissolved into darkness. The once color-filled screen entered a depressing state of black and white.

“爬山嗎?”小于說(shuō)，他甚至把目光從閃爍的屏幕上挪開(kāi)了一秒鐘，想看看是誰(shuí)提出這個(gè)荒謬的提議，他的聲音混雜著懷疑和譏諷。他屏幕上期待著指令的虛擬人物在一瞬間變得僵硬，終于在敵人一波無(wú)情的炮火之后，消失在黑暗中，而剛才彩色的游戲畫(huà)面也進(jìn)入了沉悶的黑白狀態(tài)。

Yes, mountain climbing, the father replied. His son could take some time away from his video games, he himself could use some rest before more work, and the colonel could get some more exercise in now that such opportunities dwindle with his time.

“是的，爬山?！备赣H回答。他的兒子可以暫時(shí)不玩電子游戲，他自己也可以在繼續(xù)工作之前休息一下，上校也可以多做些鍛煉，畢竟對(duì)于老上校來(lái)說(shuō)這樣的機(jī)會(huì)隨著時(shí)間的流逝會(huì)越來(lái)越少。

Attributing the source of stupor entirely to Yu’s inertia would be a great injustice, for the usual destination of his travels were among the likes of Disneyland and Universal Studio, places that guaranteed iced shakes every ten steps and airconditioned chambers every five more. Even then the day ran the possibility of falling short, for Yu’s unrefined legs, after extended periods of labor, had the tendency to sink into the ground like melted cheese. On such occasions the family had to unavoidably accommodate Yu’s need for a proper resting of feet. It follows that the prospect of mountain climbing posed both a psychological nuisance and a physical impossibility.

把小于的麻木完全歸咎于他的惰性是極不公平的，因?yàn)樗ǔＢ眯械哪康牡囟际堑纤鼓針?lè)園和環(huán)球影城這樣的地方，這些地方保證每十步就會(huì)有冰奶昔，每五步就會(huì)有裝有空調(diào)的室內(nèi)活動(dòng)空間。即便如此，這些出游也有可能隨時(shí)結(jié)束。因?yàn)樾∮谌鄙馘憻挼碾p腿，經(jīng)過(guò)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的勞作后，有可能會(huì)坐地不起，就像融化的奶酪一樣沉入地下。在這種情況下，家里就不得不出于照顧小于的雙腳需要，時(shí)不時(shí)歇息一下了。因此，這個(gè)登山的提法不僅造成了心理上的困擾，從小于的體能方面來(lái)看也幾乎是不大可行。

Yet there was a tone of finality in his father’s voice, a swift determinant of fate that made Yu relinquish all rehearsed tantrums that he would usually throw. The wife was adamant about staying behind. Said she couldn’t bear leaving their adorable ragdoll cat alone at home. The father grudgingly agreed, realizing that the cat, over the years, had risen to become her major company. The departing train arrived half past eight on a Saturday; normally, Yu would have still been in his Victorian bed, hardly out of his sleep. But today the father had been determined, and insisted the three appear well-packed and ready to go, and wait on the platform for the bullet train to show up. In fact, the father had deliberately chosen a train over a plane, the latter being their usual mode of transportation. He recently read a report detailing the number of citizens who never enjoyed the privilege of being on a plane in his country, a shocking statistic which tapped directly upon his pool of impersonal sympathy. It was only after Yu boarded the train, and sought, to no avail, a designated seat for luggage and seating, did he hesitantly confront his father regarding this inexplicable mystery.

然而，他父親的聲音里有一種不容更改的語(yǔ)氣，這迅速讓小于放棄了所有他通常會(huì)發(fā)的脾氣。妻子堅(jiān)持要留下來(lái)。她說(shuō)無(wú)法忍受把可愛(ài)的布偶貓獨(dú)自留在家里。父親勉強(qiáng)同意了，意識(shí)到這只貓這么多年來(lái)已經(jīng)成為了她的主要陪伴。出發(fā)的火車在星期六早上八點(diǎn)半到達(dá)。通常情況下，小于還會(huì)躺在他維多利亞款式的床上，多數(shù)情況下還在睡夢(mèng)中。但今天，這位父親已經(jīng)下定了決心，他堅(jiān)持要他們?nèi)齻€(gè)人打包好，準(zhǔn)備出發(fā)，在站臺(tái)上等待高鐵列車的到來(lái)。事實(shí)上，這位父親特意選擇了火車而不是飛機(jī)，雖然飛機(jī)是他們通常的交通工具。他最近讀到一份報(bào)告，其中詳細(xì)列出了國(guó)內(nèi)從未乘坐飛機(jī)的公民人數(shù)，這一令人震驚的統(tǒng)計(jì)數(shù)字直接觸動(dòng)了他的同情心。直到他們上了火車，想找到對(duì)應(yīng)的能放行李的座位，但沒(méi)有成功，小于才遲疑地去見(jiàn)父親，告訴父親這件令他費(fèi)解的事。

“I bought us standing tickets,”the father announced, excited and solemn,“really, it’s a good experience. Always nice to have a taste of different things.”

“我給咱倆買(mǎi)了站票，”父親激動(dòng)而嚴(yán)肅地宣布，“真的，這是一次很好的經(jīng)歷：嘗試不同的東西總是好的。”

The colonel, though, was rightfully offered a seat in the first-class cabin. Even by old men standards he had been through a lot. He was still robust enough, but age had carved itself onto his face. His belly swelled like a parenthesis underneath his unimpressively gray woolen shirt, which hung loosely around his body. It was hard to deduce the glory of his former days from his current state, a mere relic of an outdated epoch. Strapped to his belt was a black pistol, an antique like himself. A general had bestowed the pistol to him for exceptional valor during the Changsha Counterattack, an object that had since acquired an enchanted value. The colonel received permission to carry it with him at all times, even after the war ended, but it had never once been fired, nor did anyone ever notice, with the gun being small and hidden behind clothing. Privately, Yu found it quite funny. He didn’t believe it even would still fire, and joked to himself that his grandpa carried it to ward off Death.

上校當(dāng)然被安排了商務(wù)艙的座位。即使以老年人的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來(lái)看，他也經(jīng)歷了很多。他仍然很健壯，但歲月已經(jīng)在他的臉上刻下了痕跡。他的肚子鼓鼓的，像個(gè)括號(hào)，下面是他那件不起眼的灰色羊毛衫，寬松地掛在身上。他像一個(gè)過(guò)氣時(shí)代的遺留物，從他現(xiàn)在的狀態(tài)中很難推斷出他過(guò)去的輝煌。他的腰帶上系著一支黑色手槍，是像他一樣的古董。在長(zhǎng)沙的反擊戰(zhàn)中，由于他的英勇表現(xiàn)，將軍將這把手槍贈(zèng)予了他，從此，這把手槍就被賦予了特殊的價(jià)值。上校得到允許，可以隨時(shí)佩戴它，甚至在戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)結(jié)束后也不例外，但這把槍從未開(kāi)過(guò)一槍，也沒(méi)有人注意到，因?yàn)樗苄?，藏在腰后的衣服里。私下里，小于覺(jué)得這很有趣。他甚至不相信它還能開(kāi)火，并開(kāi)玩笑說(shuō)，爺爺是佩戴著它來(lái)躲避死亡的。

The colonel rested his head against the windowpane, its coldness tangible but refreshing, like a temporary antidote tohis decelerating mind, which seemed to grow foggier each day. The train sped North, leaving behind forests of concrete and the throngs of human that inhabited it. Dunes of soil, brown, green, or sometimes gold, dominated the view outside. Now and then a herd of sheep and cattle caused a wave of exclamations from the passengers, who’d never before so much as seen real livestock with flesh and bones, but the animals themselves did not realize they had become the center of attention. They continued to chew on the grass, saturating the air with the stench of their manure that, for a moment, polluted the train cabin, inciting frowns and groans. Yet in a matter of seconds they vanished out of sight, disappearing from the lives of those exclaiming onlookers forever.

上校把頭靠在窗玻璃上，窗上雖能感受到?jīng)鲆猓珔s能提神，就像一劑暫時(shí)的解藥，緩解他那開(kāi)始遲鈍的頭腦，他的頭腦似乎一天比一天混沌了?；疖囅虮憋w馳，掠過(guò)密集的建筑和居住在這些建筑中熙熙攘攘的人。沙丘的土壤，棕色，綠色，有時(shí)是金色，構(gòu)成了外面的景色。一群牛羊不時(shí)引起旅客們一陣驚叫，他們從來(lái)沒(méi)有見(jiàn)過(guò)真正的有骨有肉的牲畜，但是動(dòng)物們自己并沒(méi)有意識(shí)到他們已經(jīng)成為了大家關(guān)注的中心。他們繼續(xù)嚼著青草，空氣中彌漫著糞便的惡臭，一時(shí)間污染了火車車廂，引起了人們的皺眉和抱怨。然而，就在幾秒鐘后，它們就從人們的視線中消失了，永遠(yuǎn)從那些驚呼的旁觀者的生活中消失了。

* * *

The family felt, rather saw, the looming presence of Mount Hua. The father was driving a Volkswagen Touareg rented after they got off the train, and as they closed in on their destination, a never-ending trickle of local merchants endeavored to tout them poorly manufactured binoculars and fridge magnets portraying famous local attractions, but the father was dubious if they could actually stick. Others tried to sell sugar-coated haws that had remained unsold for a century. The vendors waited by the roadsides, scouting tourists, like vultures biding their time to feed. They latched onto any unsuspecting cars, stopped them in their paths, then dove into a lengthy prattle on the divine worthiness of their identical products. The father soon became irritated, started telling them to go away and jammed the accelerator so he no longer posed an easy target. Yu, however, sitting in the back seat, didn’t mind that their trip was being slowed down. The two prolonged hours of standing on the train had been no fond experience, and of all people, he could use some time to breath before the start of another treacherous journey.

這家人感覺(jué)到了，更確切地說(shuō)是看到了隱現(xiàn)的華山。父親駕駛著一輛他們下車后租賃的大眾途銳，當(dāng)他們快抵達(dá)目的地時(shí)，不斷有當(dāng)?shù)厣特溝蛩麄兌凳哿淤|(zhì)的望遠(yuǎn)鏡和冰箱貼，冰箱貼正面是當(dāng)?shù)氐闹包c(diǎn)，但是父親卻懷疑那些冰箱貼是否真的能貼在冰箱上。還有其他小販則試圖兜售一個(gè)世紀(jì)都未賣(mài)出去的糖葫蘆。小販們?cè)诼愤叺却?，搜尋著游客，就像禿鷲等待時(shí)機(jī)進(jìn)食一樣。他們緊緊靠近任何一輛毫無(wú)防備的汽車，把他們攔在路上，然后就開(kāi)始喋喋不休地談?wù)撍麄兊漠a(chǎn)品的神圣價(jià)值。這位父親很快就被激怒了，他開(kāi)始讓他們走開(kāi)，并猛踩油門(mén)，這樣他就不會(huì)再成為容易攻擊的目標(biāo)。然而，坐在后座的小于并不介意他們的行程被放慢。在火車上站了兩個(gè)小時(shí)可不是什么愉快的經(jīng)歷。在這些商販的騷擾中，他可以喘口氣，然后再開(kāi)始另一段危險(xiǎn)的旅程。

The colonel had been very much awake and aware on the train—a rare glimpse of land and livestock beyond city limits was not to be missed. A reminder of the Republic when it was first being built. But as the limousine traveled on,his eyelids drooped, eventually succumbing to a dreamy slumber. He was twenty-five, give or take a few years. The rifle in his hands weighed more than it should. He wrapped his fingers around the trigger, the other hand clutching the gun’s extending front overly tight. Bullets zizzed past his head; shouts exploded from all directions. He wasn’t sure which was louder, the nonstop firing or the deafening vibration of his screaming heart. His unit lured the enemy up a steep mountain passage, a holdout which they were determined to defend. He didn’t flinch when the bodies of comrades went limp besidehim, all life sucked out, nor did he wince at the wails of agony, the aftermath of landed projectiles. His mind was purged of all thoughts, other than the one singular, remaining faith: Hold the enemy back at all cost.

上校在火車上很清醒——難得看到城市以外的風(fēng)景和牲畜，這是不容錯(cuò)過(guò)的。這些讓人想起剛成立時(shí)的共和國(guó)。但隨著轎車?yán)^續(xù)行駛，他的眼皮耷拉下來(lái)，最終進(jìn)入了夢(mèng)幻般的睡眠。他回到了25歲，前后差不了幾年。他手中的步槍感覺(jué)出奇的重。他的手指扣在扳機(jī)上，另一只手緊緊握著槍身。子彈從他頭上呼嘯而過(guò)；喊聲從四面八方爆發(fā)出來(lái)。他不確定到底是不停的槍聲響，還是他劇烈心跳更加讓他振聾發(fā)聵。他的隊(duì)伍引誘敵人爬上一條陡峭的山道，這是他們必守的一個(gè)陣地。當(dāng)戰(zhàn)友們的尸體在他身旁歪歪扭扭地倒下，面對(duì)生命被吞噬，他沒(méi)有退縮；當(dāng)炮彈落地時(shí)，他也沒(méi)有在戰(zhàn)友們痛苦的哀號(hào)中退縮。他的頭腦里一片空白，除了一個(gè)唯一的信念：不惜一切代價(jià)打退敵人。

The colonel woke to an indistinct humming of scattered conversations. For a moment, he wondered where he was and why he was there. Instinctively, his fingers reached for the pistol, which still leaned placidly on his belt. Its metallic texture never failed to soothe his nerves in times of agitation. They had reached an open field at the bottom of the mountain, where visitors parked their cars and proceeded toward the entrance of the scenic trails. Stepping down from the automobile with help from his son, a part of him still lingered in that recurring trance. Ever since he surpassed sixty years of age, nights and naps were whiled away in an unremembering darkness. No dreams had invigorated his sleep for years, save for that scene of battle on a mountain, which was a genuine memory he could recall, a fragment of time from the prime of his life.If his mind was a depleting lake, with all other memories fading like water being drained, that replay of his youth was the sedimentary fossil unearthed from the riverbed, growing clearer as it gradually surfaced behind all the fluids.

上校醒來(lái)時(shí)聽(tīng)到零星的嗡嗡的談話聲。有那么一會(huì)兒，他都不知道自己在哪里，為什么會(huì)在這里。他的手指本能地伸向手槍，手槍仍然平靜地靠在腰帶上。在他激動(dòng)的時(shí)候，它的金屬質(zhì)感總是能撫慰他的神經(jīng)。他們來(lái)到了山腳下的一塊空地，游客們把車停在那里，朝風(fēng)景優(yōu)美的小徑的入口處走去。在兒子的幫助下，他從汽車?yán)镒呦聛?lái)，但身體的一部分仍然徘徊在那種反復(fù)出現(xiàn)的恍惚狀態(tài)中。自從他六十多歲以后，夜晚和瞌睡就在令人忘記的黑暗中消逝了。多年來(lái)，除了那山頭上的戰(zhàn)斗場(chǎng)面，沒(méi)有一個(gè)夢(mèng)能使他的睡眠充滿活力，那是他能回憶起的真實(shí)的記憶，是他生命黃金時(shí)期的片段。如果說(shuō)他的頭腦是一個(gè)逐漸枯竭的湖泊，所有的記憶都像水被抽干一樣漸漸消逝，那么他的青春回放就是從河床上挖出來(lái)的沉積化石，隨著它逐漸浮出水面，變得越來(lái)越清晰。

The father, mumbling some folksong, offered to purchase tickets. Yu quietly thanked the weather goddess for infecting his father with such cordial mood, that he did not object when Yu declined the invitation to purchase together, for Yu intended to busy himself with a mobile electronic battle game that he’d been itching to play all along. The momentary absence of his father unlocked his long suppressed urge. Under his command, a young soldier dexterously switched back and forth between shot guns, grenades, knives, rifles, dodging attacks of all kinds like an immaterial shadow. Yu’s fingers danced across the narrow phone screen, his eyes consumed by a remorseless determination to terminate all enemies. The number of opponents dwindled as the Rolex watch on his wrist ticked on, until he saw the approaching figure of his father return out of the corner of his eyes. No time to finish now, Yu thought, as he stuffed his phone back to his pocket to avoid a potential scolding, finally bringing down his puppet in the game, now immobile and at the mercy of all.

父親低聲唱著民歌，提出要去買(mǎi)景區(qū)門(mén)票。小于悄悄感謝天氣女神讓他的父親感染了如此有親和力的心情，以至于當(dāng)小于拒絕了父親一起去買(mǎi)票的要求，父親并沒(méi)有反對(duì)，因?yàn)樾∮诒緛?lái)是想忙著玩一款一直想玩的手機(jī)電子對(duì)戰(zhàn)游戲。他父親短暫的離開(kāi)，釋放了他長(zhǎng)期壓抑的欲望。在他的指揮下，一個(gè)年輕的士兵靈巧地在槍炮、手榴彈、刀、步槍之間來(lái)回切換，像一個(gè)無(wú)形的影子一樣躲避各種攻擊。小于的手指在狹窄的手機(jī)屏幕上舞動(dòng)，他的眼睛里充滿了消滅所有敵人的決心。隨著他手腕上的勞力士手表滴答滴答地走著，敵人的數(shù)量逐漸減少，直到他從眼角的余光中看到父親漸漸走近的身影。沒(méi)時(shí)間接著打完這場(chǎng)游戲了，小于暗自思索著同時(shí)把手機(jī)揣進(jìn)口袋，以免被罵，這一舉動(dòng)最終導(dǎo)致他操作的人物長(zhǎng)時(shí)間AFK（掛機(jī)），現(xiàn)在因?yàn)楸粧鞕C(jī)，將任由敵人擺布。

* * *

The trail, initially consisting of rows of flat wooden planks, wide and welcoming, grew increasingly narrow as it gained in elevation. Stairs, made of blocks of unpolished, moss-plagued granite, silently endured the weight of a thinning horde of travelers. The atmosphere reeked a blended scent of photosynthesis and decaying wood.

這條小徑最初是由一排排平坦的木板搭成的，寬大而舒適，隨著地勢(shì)的升高，逐漸變得狹窄。樓梯是用未打磨的長(zhǎng)滿苔蘚的花崗巖砌成的，靜靜地承受著越走人越少的旅行者的重量?？諝庵袕浡夂献饔煤透癄€木材的混合氣味。

The father was in a great spirit to hike, strides sound, breathing rhythmic. His job, regardless of all the perks that came with it, rarely allowed the time for a brush with nature, or a rite of familial outing. He was the kind of person that maintained an applaudable level of fitness, despite a sedentary agenda which exercises were not a part of. Yu tagged along,not far behind his father. During the past hour he had asked for three water breaks and complained twice why it still wasn’t time to stop and turn back, but a mixture of pep talks, commands, and disguised coercion by his father prolonged his struggle. What intrigued him was the odd outburst of vigor his grandpa had begun to demonstrate. The colonel’s frail body frame had been emitting a disproportionate amount of energy ever since they entered the mountain trail. He showed no signs of weariness as the hour dragged on, was instead leading several turns ahead, almost out of vision.

父親興致勃勃地徒步走著，步態(tài)沉穩(wěn)，呼吸有節(jié)奏。在他的工作中，不管有多少福利，他都很少有時(shí)間與大自然親密接觸，或者家庭郊游。他是那種保持著令人稱贊的健康水平的人，盡管工作日程安排讓他久坐不動(dòng)，沒(méi)有任何的鍛煉時(shí)間。小于跟在父親的后面不遠(yuǎn)。在過(guò)去的一個(gè)小時(shí)里，他曾三次要求喝水休息，兩次抱怨為什么還不停下來(lái)回返，但他父親的鼓勵(lì)、命令和變相的脅迫使得他不得不繼續(xù)前行。讓他感興趣的是他爺爺開(kāi)始表現(xiàn)出的那種奇怪的爆發(fā)的活力。自從他們進(jìn)入山路后，上校虛弱的身體就釋放出了不成比例的能量。時(shí)間一小時(shí)一小時(shí)過(guò)去，他一點(diǎn)也不疲倦，反而在前面轉(zhuǎn)了幾個(gè)彎，幾乎看不見(jiàn)了。

It was one of the rare occasions where Yu got close to the truth. The colonel had noticed a faint surge of familiarity swell up, not long after they began to hike along the trail, and as he trudged on the feeling was only magnified. Of course, certain constructions of the trail were additions of a later time. That he knew. Yet the position of twists and turns—he recalled them when the path was still a muddy mess—the combination of trees, reflected something eerily recognizable from a past he remembered only too well. There! Half a tree trunk, entirely charred, laid horizontally on the forest ground,obstructing the right side of the walkway. The colonel recalled passing by a burnt tree trunk some forty years ago, one possibly struck by lightning. Surely it had fallen, after all these years standing erect, while dying slowing on the inside. No longer did he hold more doubts. It was the exact place he fought till the end as a private, the very mountain that haunted him through all the rewinding nights.

這是小于難得的接近真相的機(jī)會(huì)。他們沿著小路走了不久，上校就注意到一種輕微的熟悉感涌上心頭，當(dāng)他在路上跋涉前行時(shí)，這種感覺(jué)更加強(qiáng)烈了。當(dāng)然，這條小徑的某些設(shè)施是后來(lái)的產(chǎn)物。這個(gè)他知道。然而，那些彎彎曲曲的地方——當(dāng)他回想起當(dāng)時(shí)的道路還是一片泥濘時(shí)——那些林木的組合，反映出某種他記憶中非常清楚的、令他毛骨悚然的東西。在那里！半根燒焦的樹(shù)干橫躺在森林的地面上，擋住了走道的右側(cè)。上?；貞浧穑蠹s四十年前，他路過(guò)一棵可能被閃電擊中燒焦的樹(shù)干。它肯定是倒下了，在挺立了這么多年之后，從內(nèi)部慢慢地死去。他不再懷疑了。這正是他作為一個(gè)列兵戰(zhàn)斗到最后的地方，也是在整個(gè)倒轉(zhuǎn)的夜晚縈繞著他的那片山地。

With each step the Colonel was recharged with an electrifying confidence. He could feel that long-absent adrenaline coursing through his veins, propelling his heart to crash against the ribcage, pounding to escape. When he was rescued by the main army, he never imagined returning, though the martyred bodies of his comrades were long branded into his soul.Fate was leading him back to the graveyard of a battlefield, he was sure of it; it had always been his duty to send his fellow soldiers to an eternally peaceful rest.

上校每前行一步，都充滿了激動(dòng)人心的信心。他能感覺(jué)到那消失已久的腎上腺素在他的血管里流動(dòng)，推動(dòng)著他的心臟撞向胸腔，并砰砰地跳動(dòng)著想要跳出胸腔。當(dāng)他后來(lái)被主力部隊(duì)救起后，他從來(lái)沒(méi)有想過(guò)會(huì)回去，盡管戰(zhàn)友犧牲的尸體早已烙在他的靈魂里。他確信，命運(yùn)正把他帶回戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)的那片墓地，他的職責(zé)就是讓他的戰(zhàn)友們得到永久的安息。

* * *

The mountain sky usually kept a stash of masks at her disposal, childishly switching one for another whenever she felt like it. What started as a gentle breeze soon transformed into a razor gale, swaying the trees, rocking their vociferous branches and leaves. The sun retired for the day and left the stage to adjoining gray clouds that covered the firmament.A drizzle, a shower, a downpour—rain’s evolution took no time at all and permitted no time to react. Within seconds the father and Yu were soaked, T-shirts adhering to their skin like swimming suits. The colonel was ahead of them, at the maximum range of sight and sound.

山區(qū)的天氣通常似有一堆面具，只要它想，就會(huì)孩子氣地?fù)Q一個(gè)。一開(kāi)始是一陣微風(fēng)，但很快就變成了狂風(fēng)，搖晃著樹(shù)木，搖動(dòng)著它們吵鬧的樹(shù)木枝葉。白天的太陽(yáng)漸漸退去，把舞臺(tái)留給了周圍覆蓋著蒼穹的灰色云彩。一場(chǎng)毛毛雨，一場(chǎng)陣雨，一場(chǎng)傾盆大雨的演變不需要任何準(zhǔn)備，也不留任何給人反應(yīng)的時(shí)間。只幾秒鐘后，父親和小于就渾身濕透了，T恤像泳衣一樣粘在皮膚上。上校走在他們前面，在聲音和視線可見(jiàn)的最大范圍內(nèi)。

The father shouted to get his attention. Bellowed, waved like a clown. Even Yu chimed in，“Grandpa，Come back.Grandpa，Time to go. Come back，Back. ”

父親大聲喊叫以期引起他的注意。他咆哮著，像小丑一樣揮舞著手臂。就連小于也加入了進(jìn)來(lái)，“爺爺，回來(lái)了。爺爺，該返回了。回來(lái)吧，回來(lái)?！?/p>

Hearing sounds, but not words, the colonel turned. He saw two figures through the rain, the taller brandishing his gun, the shorter stood to the side, howling taunts. Enemies were cunning, cold-blooded fiends, and they were upon him.Further down track were more sinister shadows, obscure but advancing amid the shaded mist.

上校聽(tīng)到了聲音，但沒(méi)聽(tīng)清在喊啥，他回過(guò)身來(lái)。他在雨中看見(jiàn)兩個(gè)人影，個(gè)子高的揮舞著槍，個(gè)子矮的站在一邊，大聲辱罵著。敵人都是狡猾、冷血的惡魔，他們向他逼近。再往前，是一些更險(xiǎn)惡的陰影，雖然看不清，但在朦朧的霧中向他移動(dòng)。

Behind him dwelt the spirits of blood-bonded comrades, bracing for a deathly skirmish. Behind him the sacred land of the republic stretched, demanding from him a final stand. No time to lose now—the colonel, trembling, reached for his pistol, and after taking aim, pulled the trigger, sensing the shot.

在他身后，安置著戰(zhàn)友們的靈魂，準(zhǔn)備迎接一場(chǎng)殊死的戰(zhàn)斗。在他身后，共和國(guó)神圣的土地伸展開(kāi)來(lái)，要求他做最后的搏斗。沒(méi)時(shí)間了，上校顫抖著摸出手槍，瞄準(zhǔn)，扣動(dòng)扳機(jī)，感覺(jué)到子彈出膛的后坐力。