Jokes

錢(qián)佳琦

Three Turtles

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe， it started to rain.

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one， “Go home and get the umbrella.”

The little turtle replied， “I will， if you don't drink my coffee.”

“We won't，” the other two promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle， “Well， I guess he isn't coming back， so we might as well drink his coffee.”

Just then a voice called from outside the door， “If you do， I won't go.”

三只烏龜

三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門(mén)口，就下起雨來(lái)。于是最大的那只烏龜對(duì)最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“回家去取把傘吧?！?/p>

最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去?！?/p>

“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應(yīng)說(shuō)。

兩年后，大烏龜對(duì)中烏龜說(shuō)，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來(lái)了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了?！?/p>

正在這時(shí)，一個(gè)聲音從門(mén)外傳來(lái)，“你們要是喝了，我就不去了?！?/p>

Expand and Contract

Teacher： We all know that heat causes an object to expand and cold causes it to contract. Now， can anyone give me a good example？

John： Well， in the summer the days are long， and in the winter the days are short.

熱脹冷縮

老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理?，F(xiàn)在，誰(shuí)能給我舉個(gè)例子？

約翰：嗯，夏天天長(zhǎng)，冬天天短。

My Little Dog Can't Read

Mrs. Brown： Oh， my dear， I have lost my precious little dog！

Mrs. Smith： But you must put an advertisement in the papers！? Mrs. Brown： It's no use， my little dog can't read.

我的狗不識(shí)字

布朗夫人：哦， 親愛(ài)的，我把我珍愛(ài)的小狗給丟了！

史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊！

布朗夫人：沒(méi)有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。

History Teacher

A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table， the wife asked “Anything new at work”， and he replied， “no， I am teaching history”.

歷史老師

一位歷史老師和他的妻子在吃飯，妻子問(wèn)到：“工作上有什么新鮮事嗎？”丈夫回答說(shuō)：“沒(méi)有，我是教歷史的?！?/p>

The Lowest Grade

Student： Professor， I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero.

Professor： Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give.”

最低分

學(xué)生：教授先生，我這次考試已經(jīng)竭盡全力了。我真的覺(jué)得我不應(yīng)該得零蛋。

老師：我也是。但是這已經(jīng)是我能給的最低分了！