小幽默

楊揚

How Many Rabbits？

Teacher： Now， Jonathan， if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits， how many rabbits would you have？

Jonathan： Nine， sir.

Teacher： Nine？

Jonathan： I've got one already， sir.

多少只兔子？

老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

喬納森：一共有九只，先生。

老師：九只？

喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。

The Four Elements

Teacher： What are the four elements of nature？

Student： Fire， air， earth， and...

Teacher： And what？ Just think it over， what do you wash your hands with？

Student： Soap！

四大元素

老師：自然界的四大元素是什么？

學生：火、空氣、土壤和……

老師：和什么？想一想， 你用什么洗手

的？

學生：肥皂。

Whose Fifty Cents？

Jack： I found 50 cents on the sidewalk in front of school.

Tommy： I think it's mine. I dropped 50 cents there today and couldn't find it.

Jack： But what I found was two quarters.

Tommy： Then I'm sure it's mine. It probably broke when it hit the sidewalk.

誰的50分錢？

杰克：我在學校門前的人行道上揀了50分。

湯米：我想那是我的，今天我在那兒掉了50分，找不到了。

杰克：但是我揀的是兩個25分的呀。

湯米：那就更是我的了。因為錢在掉到地上的時候可能摔兩半了。

The Speaker

The after-dinner speaker was droning on and on and on， boring everyone to tears. One of the guests， fighting to keep his drooping eyelids open， turned to the lady on his right and said， “Can nothing be done to shut him up？”

“If there is， I'd like to know，” said the lady， “I'm his wife and I've been trying to shut him up for twenty years.”

講演者

晚餐后一位講演者冗長沉悶地說個沒完沒了，使每個人都煩得哈欠連天，有一位客人使勁睜開他沉重的眼皮，轉(zhuǎn)向坐在他右邊的一位夫人說：“有沒有辦法使他不說了？”

“如果有辦法的話，我倒很想知道?！边@位夫人說：“我是他的妻子，我已經(jīng)試了二十年了，都沒能辦到。”