小幽默

A Surprise

We had just moved into a new school district， when brother was invited to a surprise birthday party. He didnt want to go， however， because he couldnt recall ever meeting the birthday boy.

“Ridiculous！” said my mother. “If he didnt know you， his mother wouldnt have invited you.” And with that she packed him off to have a good time.

When Dave came home， Mom wanted to know how it had gone.

“Well，” he said glumly， “We got there and everyone hid behind a couch. Then， when the boy came in， we all jumped up and yelled， ‘SURPISE. And he pointed straight at me and shouted， ‘Who is he？”

大吃一驚

我們剛剛搬到一個(gè)新的學(xué)區(qū)，我哥哥就被邀請(qǐng)去參加一個(gè)驚喜生日聚會(huì)。他不想去，因?yàn)樗麩o論如何也想不起曾見過那個(gè)過生日的男孩。

“莫名其妙！”媽媽說：“如果他不認(rèn)識(shí)你，他媽媽是不會(huì)來要邀請(qǐng)你的?！闭f著，媽媽就把他送出了門。

大衛(wèi)回到家后，媽媽很想知道聚會(huì)開得怎樣。

“怎么說呢？”他無精打采地說：“我們到會(huì)后，大家都藏在一個(gè)沙發(fā)的后邊，等到過生日的男孩一進(jìn)屋，我們就跳起來喊：“給你一個(gè)驚喜喲！”這時(shí)，他徑直地指著我問：“他是誰？”

Do Me a Favor

The mechanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs， so I settled down in the waiting room with a book Id bought along. The mechanic was in and out answering calls， and at one point he stopped and looked at me. “Would you do me a favor and flip back a few pages when someone comes in？ That way it wont look as if youve been here all day，”

請(qǐng)幫個(gè)忙

我把車拖去修理，機(jī)械師很忙。所以我就坐在接待室，拿出我隨身帶來的書讀，機(jī)械師出出進(jìn)進(jìn)地接電話。有一次，他停下來看了看我說：“你能幫我個(gè)忙嗎？有人進(jìn)來時(shí)，把書翻回幾頁行嗎？那樣的話，就不會(huì)看上去你在這兒呆了一整天了。”

Its Yesterdays Paper.

Tom： Whats the date today？

Jack： Let me look at the newspaper in your pocket.

Tom： No use. Its yesterdays paper.

那是昨天的報(bào)紙

湯姆：今天是幾月幾號(hào)？

杰克：讓我看看你的口袋里的報(bào)紙。

湯姆：沒有用，那是昨天的報(bào)紙。

It Seemed like Hours

As a band instructor at an elementary school， I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh， however， when one parent wrote on her childs sheet， “Practiced 17 minutes， but it seemed like hours.”

猶如幾個(gè)小時(shí)

作為一個(gè)小學(xué)的樂隊(duì)指揮，為了確保學(xué)生投入足夠的時(shí)間練習(xí)，我要求他們上交由他們父母簽字的練習(xí)單?？墒怯幸淮危晃患议L在她孩子練習(xí)單上的簽字讓我只能笑。練習(xí)單上寫著：“練習(xí)了17分鐘，但猶如幾個(gè)小時(shí)。”

（吉林長春周丹供稿）