Listener

王秀鳳

雄辯是銀，傾聽是金。在平時的交往中，盡可能少說多聽。只有最大限度地提高自己的傾聽能力，才能更好地提高我們的溝通能力和交往能力。

Many people neglect this most important communication skill.

Do you know that we spend half of our waking day communicating？

Of this communication time， 9% is spent writing， 16% reading， 30% talking and 45% listening.

Immediately after hearing something， most of us can recall only 50% of what we hear. Within two to eight weeks， we can recall only 25% or less of the original message. Our mental attitudes reduce our ability to retain what we hear.

Some suggestions to being a good listener are mentioned below：

First of all， stop talking—you can’t listen while you are talking.

Ask questions—when you don’t understand， when you need further clarification， when you want them to like you and when you want to show that you are listening.

Don’t interrupt—give them time to say what they have to say.

Concentrate on what they are saying—actively focus your attention on their words， their ideas and their feelings as they relate to the subject.

Look at the prospect—by looking， it gives them confidence that you are， in fact， listening. It helps you to concentrate too.

Leave your emotions behind—try to forget your own worries and problems. Leave them outside of the meeting room. They will prevent you from listening well.

Understand the main points —concentrate on the main ideas and not the illustrative material.

Don’t argue mentally—when you are trying to understand other people， it is a handicap to argue with them mentally as they are speaking. This only sets up a barrier between yourself and the speaker.

Learn to listen and you will achieve a great success in your life.

聆 聽 者

許多人忽視了這個最為重要的溝通技巧。

你是否知道我們醒著時有一半的時間是用來溝通的？

在這段時間里，9%是在寫，16%是在讀，30%是在說，而45%是在聽。

聽完某些事，大多數(shù)人只能記住其中的50%。兩至八個星期內(nèi)，我們只能記得原信息的25%，甚至更少。我們的精神狀態(tài)削弱了我們的記憶能力。

以下是關(guān)于怎樣做個好的傾聽者的建議：

首先，停止講話——你說話時是無法聽的。

問問題——如果你不理解，需要進一步澄清時，或者你希望他們喜歡你，想證明你正在聽時可以問問題。

不要打岔——給他們時間讓他們說出自己想說的話。

集中精力聽他們說——當(dāng)他們說到主題時，積極地把你的注意力放在他們的言語、觀點和情感上。

看著對方——看著對方，對方就更有信心，事實上也說明你正在聽，這也有助于你集中精神。

擱置情感——盡力忘記自己的煩惱和問題，把它們都留在會議室門外。因為它們會讓你沒法認(rèn)真聽。

理解要點——集中精力聽主要意思而不是說明性材料。

不要激烈爭論——如果你想理解別人說的話，那么在別人說話的時候與別人激烈地爭論將成為一大障礙。這只會在你與說話者之間設(shè)下一道鴻溝。

學(xué)會聆聽，日后定會成功。