TECHNO BABBLE

譚云飛

The incomprehensible jargon of Chinese internet firms

當(dāng)生活充滿互聯(lián)網(wǎng)行話

“If the last 20 years have been about internet technology， the next 30 years could be called the internet era，” Jack Ma， the founder of Chinese internet company Alibaba， said at the 2017 Global Transformation Forum in Malaysia.

Mas speech was intended to be motivational， calling on businesses to abandon backward thinking and use the internet to their advantage. Some people， however， take so-called “internet thinking （互聯(lián)網(wǎng)思維h&li1nw2ng s～w9i）” a bit too far， to the point where it even influences their language.

In China， internet professionals， or 互聯(lián)網(wǎng)人 （h&li1nw2ngr9n， “internet persons”）， are known for employing a lingo that makes little sense to people outside the industry. “I know every single character in internet jargon， but cant figure out what they mean once theyre put together; its like a parallel language，” one Weibo user recounts of their first few days working at an internet company. In an industry founded on chasing novel concepts， where one must always try to position oneself as being more progressive than any other competitor， many employees find themselves unconsciously picking up the inspirational buzzwords and meaningless marketing terms in everyday life.

The Weibo user later admitted， “Ironically， I have used these terms in my PowerPoint presentations， since I cannot find more suitable expressions.” Likewise， “IT talk” has permeated conversations in and out of the industry， becoming funny memes， handy metaphors， or simply the butt of jokes.

REINVENT THE WHEEL

As a saying on the web goes， “What internet companies do best is inventing things that already exist”—and the perfect way to do this is to dress up existing concepts with new terminology. Instead of discussing strategies （策略c-l+-） and plans （方案f`ng'3n）， pick new words like “striking methods （打法d2f2）” and “playing methods （玩法w1nf2），” which will make the customer feel like you are leading them on some action-filled quest for new solutions， rather than rehashing a problem that they themselves brought up：Pinduoduo， Bilibili， and other emerging internet companies have employed some fresh playing methods and down-to-earth striking methods.

P～ndu4du4 h9 B#lib#li d0ng y# p～ x～nx～ng h&li1nw2ng q@y- w1nf2 g-ngx～nxi`n， d2f2 g-ng ji8 d#q#.

拼多多和嗶哩嗶哩等一批新興互聯(lián)網(wǎng)企業(yè)玩法更新鮮，打法更接地氣。

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

New ideas wont go down well if you dont understand your customers. To sell themselves as action-oriented， dynamic players， who can break down any problem and find the most cost-effective solution， internet companies quantify users needs in simple， PowerPoint-friendly bullet items： “pain points （痛點(diǎn)t7ngdi2n），” which are urgent， unmet demands; “itch points?（癢點(diǎn)y2ngdi2n），” non-urgent needs that usually relate to an unsatisfying user experience; and “pleasing points?（爽點(diǎn)shu2ngdi2n），” the users immediate desire at any moment.

Once those points are clarified， internet bosses encourage their employees to use these 抓手（zhu`sh6u， key points） to develop targeted products and services：

Viral products are created by inspiring and satisfying users potential pain points.

J～f` b#ng m2nz% y7ngh& de qi1nz3i t7ngdi2n， ji& n9ng d2z3o b3op@n.

激發(fā)并滿足用戶的潛在痛點(diǎn)，就能打造爆品。

One can also categorize real-life emotions in to “points”：This online series is too awesome！ The screenwriters finally understand audiences itch points.

Zh- b& w2ngj& t3i k0 le！Zh- ji- bi`nj& zh4ngy% zhu`zh&gu`nzh7ng de y2ngdi2n le.

這部網(wǎng)劇太可了！這屆編劇終于抓住觀眾的癢點(diǎn)了。

I was moved to tears by this inspirational essay. It really hit my pain points.

W6 n9ng b-izh-me y# pi`n j～t`ngw9n g2nd7ng de t7ngk$ li%t#， ji&sh# y～nw-i t` chu4zh7ng w6 de t7ngdi2n le.

我能被這么一篇雞湯文感動(dòng)得痛哭

流涕，就是因?yàn)樗林形业耐袋c(diǎn)了。

STAY POSITIVE

Once a company has identified their customers needs， the next step is to promise results. An important factor for good internet products and services is that they can “empower?（賦能f&n9ng）” the target user：New products must empower business.

X～nch2np@n y！d#ng y3o f&n9ng y-w&.

新產(chǎn)品一定要賦能業(yè)務(wù)。

Originally a term from psychology， meaning to influence others positively by changing ones behaviors， attitudes， and surroundings， this phrase has been used in all contexts to mean any type of assistance or positive effect.

Influential people must be able empower person of themselves and others.

Y！ g- y6u y@ngxi2ngl# de r9n， y！d#ngsh# k0y@ z#w6 f&n9ng h9 f&n9ng t`r9n de r9n.

一個(gè)有影響力的人，一定是可以自我賦能和賦能他人的人

Meanwhile， businesses attach great importance to winning new customers， or 拉新 （l`x～n， “drawing new”）， and developing their loyalty， or 粘性 （ni1nx#ng， stickiness）：Social groups are an important new method of attracting new users cheaply.

Sh-q%nsh# y7ngh&l`x～n de zh7ngy3o sh6udu3n， hu7k- ch9ngb0n d～.

社群是用戶拉新的重要手段，獲客成本低。

I think dating is like doing business. Im good at drawing new， but they lack stickiness.

W6 ju9de t1n li3n'3i ji& xi3ng zu7 sh8ngyi， w6 l`x～n de n9ngl# h1ishi y6u de， k0x～ ni1nx#ng d4u b& h2o.

我覺(jué)得談戀愛(ài)就像做生意，我拉新的能力還是有的，可惜粘性都不好。

SEEK THE NEW

In the internet era， “traffic （流量li%li3ng）” is king， since more internet traffic means more exposure to target users. Word-of-mouth advertising is known as “private traffic （私域流量s～y& li%li3ng），” as much of this is now conducted through personal social media accounts.

Customers who can influence friends or followers to buy a product or service are called “Key Opinion Customers（關(guān)鍵意見(jiàn)消費(fèi)者gu`nji3n y#ji3n xi`of-izh0），” while those who know the product and can influence thousands of followers are “Key Opinion Leaders （關(guān)鍵意見(jiàn)領(lǐng)袖gu`nji3n y#ji3n l@ngxi&）.”

She gained hundreds of thousands of followers in just a few months， and became a fashion KOL on [e-commerce app] Xiaohongshu.

T` j@ g- yu- li zh2ng le j@sh！ w3n f0n， ji3nji3n ch9ng le Xi2oh5ngsh$ de chu`nd` KOL.

她幾個(gè)月里漲了幾十萬(wàn)粉，漸漸成了小紅書(shū)上的“穿搭KOL”。

Based on their influence， KOCs and KOLs are divided into three levels： “head （頭部， t5ub&），” “waist （腰部， y`ob&），” and “tail （尾部， w0ib&）.”

With over 20 million fans on Taobao Live， [livestreaming celebrity] Li Jiaqi is the hottest of head KOLs.

L@ Ji`q！ y6u li2ngqi`n du4 w3n T1ob2o zh！b4 f0ns～， sh# zh#sh6u k0 r- de t5ub& w2ngh5ng d3ihu7w1ng.

李佳琦有2000多萬(wàn)粉絲，是炙手可熱的頭部網(wǎng)紅帶貨王。

The ranking can also be applied to content， companies， and other groups of people：After a decade in the industry， he is still just a waist-level actor without fame， internet traffic， or advertising contracts.

C5ngy@ng sh！ du4 ni1n， t` h1ishi y# m！ngy`ob& y2nyu1n， m9i m！ngq#， m9i li%li3ng， y0 m9i sh`ngy- d3iy1n.

從影十多年，他還是一名腰部演員，沒(méi)名氣，沒(méi)流量，也沒(méi)商業(yè)代言。

By employing KOLs and marketing tricks， internet companies try to influence users “intelligence （心智， x～nzh#）.” This means getting users to think of the brand whenever they need similar products or services. In e-commerce， one way of doing this is by providing users 沉浸式體驗(yàn) （ch9nj#nsh# t@y3n， “immersive experience”）， a term often associated with virtual reality， which involves recreating real-life sensory experiences with internet technology：Livestreaming is popular among consumers because it brings them an immersive shopping experience.

Zh！b4 m3ihu7 g-ng sh7u hu`ny！ng， y～nw-i n9ng g0i xi`of-izh0 d3il1i ch9nj#nsh# de g7uw& t@y3n.

直播賣(mài)貨更受歡迎，因?yàn)槟芙o消費(fèi)者帶來(lái)沉浸式的購(gòu)物體驗(yàn)。

In many ways， this mimics the effect internet thinking has on ones real-life thought process. In a recent online comic called “If GuoDegangwere an IT person，” the artist replaces typical lines by well-known “crosstalk” performers GuoDegang and Yu Qian with IT jargon. The two comedians tell readers that they wish to “develop a crosstalk matrix， then incubate a new business model （形成一個(gè)相聲矩陣，再孵化出新的商業(yè)模式x！ngch9ng y！ g- xi3ngsheng j^zh-n， z3i f$hu3 ch$ x～n de sh`ngy- m5sh#），” and “draw new from all scenes and channels， activate traffic， and create crosstalk Black Technology （全場(chǎng)景，全渠道拉新，盤(pán)活流量池，打造相聲黑科技qu1n ch2ngj@ng， qu1n q%d3o l`x～n， p1nhu5 li%li3ngch！， d2z3o xi3ngsheng h8ik8j#）.”

For some readers in the industry， though， who have received similarly incomprehensible emails from their supervisor， or used more than a few of these phrases themselves to meet the minimum page requirement in a presentation， the experience was immersive enough to “induce PTSD.” As one reader commented under the comic on Weibo：From the opening line， “Dear all，” I was brought directly into the real-world scene. The immersive experience surrounded and easily infected this users intelligence.

K`it5u y！ g- Dear all， zh！ji8 b2 w6 d3ir& zh8nsh！ ch2ngj@ng， ch9nj#nsh# t@y3n p$mi3n 9r l1i， g2nr2n y7ngh&x～nzh# y# r% f2nzh2ng.

開(kāi)頭一個(gè)“Dear all”， 直接把我?guī)胝鎸?shí)場(chǎng)景，沉浸式體驗(yàn)撲面而來(lái)，感染用戶心智易如反掌。