Laughing ouut Loud 笑話與幽默

The Best Evidence

最好的證據(jù)

A boy was bragging to his classmates, “Once my father accidentally fell into a river, he quickly caught two fish in the water that brought him back to land safely.” All of his classmates didn’t believe, asking him for evidence. The boy said, “Why do we need evidence? It is the best evidence that my father is still alive.”

一個男孩向他的同學(xué)吹牛說：“有一次，我爸爸不小心掉進(jìn)河里，他急忙抓住水中游著的兩條魚，這才安全地上了岸?！蓖瑢W(xué)們都不相信，要他拿出證據(jù)來。男孩說：“難道還需要證據(jù)嗎？我爸爸現(xiàn)在還活著，這就是最好的證據(jù)?！?/p>

Whose Father Is the Fastest?

誰的爸爸最快？

Three children were arguing whose father is the fastest. The first child said, “I accidentally knocked a cup off the table. But, my dad caught it before it fell to the ground.”

The second child said, “Once my father went hunting and shot a deer. He rushed up to hold it before it fell to the ground.”

The third one said, “My dad is supposed to be off-duty at six o’clock in the evening, but he arrives home by 5:30 p.m.”

有三個小孩在比誰的爸爸動作最快。第一個小孩說：“我不小心把桌上的杯子碰掉了，可是杯子還沒有跌到地面，我爸爸就把它接住了。”

第二個小孩說：“我爸爸去打獵，射中一頭鹿，在鹿摔到地面之前他就沖上去把它托住了?！?/p>

第三個小孩說：“我爸爸每天下午六點(diǎn)下班，但他五點(diǎn)半就到家了?！?/p>

How's Your Arm Broken?

胳膊怎么斷了？

David went to school with his arm in plaster bandage. His teacher asked him, “What happened to your arm?”

David said, “It’s broken.”

The teacher said, “How?”

David said, “Because I was too lazy.”

The teacher said, “You broke your arm because you were too lazy?”

David said, “When I was walking on the road, a tiny stone ran into one of my shoes. But I didn’t want to bend down. So I held a utility pole, trying to shake the stone off the shoe. A passerby thought I got an electric shock,and hit my arm with a stick...”

大衛(wèi)胳膊上打著石膏去上學(xué)，老師問：“你的胳膊怎么了？”

大衛(wèi)說：“斷了?！?/p>

老師問：“為什么？”

大衛(wèi)說：“因?yàn)槲姨珣辛恕！?/p>

老師說：“太懶胳膊會斷？”

大衛(wèi)說：“我走在路上，鞋子里跑進(jìn)一顆石頭，可是我懶得彎腰，就抱著電線桿抖著腳讓石頭掉出來。一個路人以為我觸電了，用木棍擊中了我的胳膊*……”

*有人觸電后，可以用干燥的木棍使觸電者與帶電體分離；如果電源開關(guān)就在附近,首先需要關(guān)閉電源。

Key points

accidentally 意外地

argue 爭論

bandage 繃帶

be supposed to do / be sth（按規(guī)定）應(yīng)當(dāng)

brag 吹牛

electric shock 觸電

knock 與某物相撞

plaster 石膏

rush 迅速移動

tiny 極小的

utility pole 電線桿

本欄目選自《每天一點(diǎn)兒給力的英文·笑慘樂翻的英語笑話》，由機(jī)械工業(yè)出版社授權(quán)選載。