頭條制造者

馬華

The Newspaper

It had been a long hard day in the classroom， and Ms. Cramble was looking tired. “Magee，” she said， shaking her head， “you havent listened to me all day. I should give you detention …but Ive got a better idea.”

Oh no！ I hated it when she had better ideas.

“I want you to help out on the school newspaper for the next month，” she said.

“The newspaper！”I groaned.

I might have been full of smart jokes， but I was pretty（相當(dāng)?shù)兀゜ad at everything else. What use would I be on the newspaper？

Working on the newspaper meant working with Tilly Turner. Tilly was the editor（編輯） and reporter and， unlike me， she was good at everything.

“Well， Magee， what sort of stories do you think we should be working on， for the next week？” Tilly asked me， as we walked over to the newspaper room.

I shrugged. I never read the newspaper.

“So far（到目前為止） we have stories on pets， and the new teacher， and something on Ms. Crambles cuckoo clock（布谷鳥(niǎo)鐘）collection（收藏品），” she went on.

“Really？” I said. It was no wonder I never read the newspaper.

Just then I saw something out of the corner of my eyes. It looked like Brad Biggens sneaking into the office.

“Did you see that？” I hissed at Tilly. She looked blank.

“And you call yourself a reporter，” I said， dragging her with me around the side of the building.

“Look，” I whispered（低聲說(shuō)）， as Brad came out with something in his hand. He quickly pushed whatever it was under his shirt， and ran to the gate. Before we could see any more， he hopped（跳上）on his bike and rode off.

Good Headlines

“Theres a story there！” I said to Tilly. “I can see the headline now：

BAD BRAD IN OFFICE GRAB！”

Tilly stared at me and shook her head. “I dont think so， Magee. Now， I need some help with the story about the biscuit baking competition.”

“BISCUIT BAKERS TAKE THE CAKE，” I shouted.

Tilly rolled her eyes.

“Come on， Tilly，” I said. “If we dont have exciting stories， we could at least have some good headlines.”

By Friday afternoon， I was starting to like working on the newspaper. Id thought up（想出） lots of headlines—although Tilly said we really had to have stories to go with them.

I was working on a story when Tilly flew into the newspaper room. “Ive seen him again！” she shouted.

Now it was my turn to look blank. “Who？”

“Brad Biggens，” she said. “Youre right， hes up to something. Quick， get the camera. Lets go.”

Tilly was starting to get the idea of being a reporter.

Following The Story

As we raced（沖出）outside and around the corner of the library， we saw Brad walking towards the back fence. He was carrying his school jacket， but there was something about it that looked strange and heavy.

Tilly and I both stopped. We could see something was up. Without saying a word， we backed around the corner again， and quietly watched him.

I took the camera out and took some shots as he pushed his jacket into the hedge at the back of the school grounds.

“Looks like hes left something to be picked up，” I whispered.

“Lets go and see what it is，” said Tilly， as Brad disappeared out of the school gate.

When we got to the hedge， Tilly bent down and pushed away some leaves. There was Brads jacket， and wrapped inside were two notebook computers from the school office.

Snapped！

It was just after dark when Brad came back to pick up the computers. He was bending down to take the jacket from under the hedge when he heard us behind him. He turned to look at us as my camera flash went off and I snapped（快速拍照） him in the act.

Ive never seen anyone look so surprised in my life—especially when Ms. Cramble and two police officers stepped out of the darkness.

Tilly rushed forward with her tape recorder. “Brad Biggens， do you have anything to say？”

“I was framed！” he screamed（大叫）， as the officers led him away.

“I dont think so！” yelled（大喊） Tilly. “Weve got photos of you hiding the notebooks here this afternoon.”

The flash from my next photo lit up Brads guilty（內(nèi)疚的）face.

When I walked into class on Monday， Ms. Cramble was holding the newspaper.

“Good headlines，” she said， giving me a funny smile. I thought she meant：

BRAD TAKES NOTES， POLICE TAKE BRAD

But when I saw she was looking at a different story：

CLOCK COLLECTOR NOT SO CUCKOO AFTER ALL

機(jī)緣巧合進(jìn)報(bào)社

又是漫長(zhǎng)難捱的一天，克蘭布老師站在教室里一臉疲倦。“馬吉，”她搖著頭說(shuō)，“你這一天都沒(méi)有在聽(tīng)講。真該罰你留校……不過(guò)，我有個(gè)更好的主意?！?/p>

該死！她一提更好的主意就準(zhǔn)沒(méi)好事。

“我要你去學(xué)校報(bào)社幫忙一個(gè)月?！?/p>

“報(bào)社！”我滿是抱怨。

要說(shuō)講笑話抖機(jī)靈我拿手，可其他我一樣不會(huì)。放我在報(bào)社能干嗎？

去報(bào)社還意味著要跟蒂莉·特納共事。人家跟我這個(gè)學(xué)渣可不是一國(guó)的，除了是報(bào)社的編輯兼記者，其他也沒(méi)什么是她不行的。

“馬吉，你認(rèn)為我們下周寫什么故事好呢？”在往報(bào)社走的路上，蒂莉問(wèn)我。

我無(wú)所謂地聳聳肩，因?yàn)槟峭嬉鈨何覊焊鶝](méi)看過(guò)。

“目前，我們的選材內(nèi)容包括寵物、新進(jìn)教師以及克蘭布老師收藏的布谷鐘。”她繼續(xù)說(shuō)著。

“是嘛！”我回答道。我會(huì)看才怪！

就在這時(shí)，我瞥到些什么。似乎是布拉德·比金斯溜進(jìn)了老師辦公室。

“你看見(jiàn)沒(méi)？”我悄聲問(wèn)蒂莉。而她看起來(lái)一臉茫然。

“就這樣，還說(shuō)自己是個(gè)記者？”我邊說(shuō)邊把她拽到大樓拐角處。

“看！”我低聲道。布拉德從大樓內(nèi)出來(lái)了，手里還抱著些東西。他迅速攏了攏用來(lái)遮掩的襯衣，奔向大門。還沒(méi)等我倆看清楚，他便跳上自行車，騎走了。

愛(ài)上做個(gè)標(biāo)題黨

“這里頭大有文章??！”我對(duì)蒂莉說(shuō)?！皹?biāo)題我都想好了：

布拉德巧取豪奪，辦公室成犯罪現(xiàn)場(chǎng)！”

蒂莉瞪著我搖了搖頭?！八懔税?，馬吉。我現(xiàn)在需要的是曲奇烘焙競(jìng)賽的文章，快幫我出出主意?！?/p>

“曲奇烘焙者蟾宮折桂！”我脫口而出。

蒂莉翻了翻白眼。

“蒂莉，拜托！”我說(shuō)，“既然咱沒(méi)有吸引眼球的故事，至少在標(biāo)題上下功夫啊?！?/p>

到了周五下午，我竟對(duì)報(bào)社的活慢慢產(chǎn)生了興趣。我思路大開(kāi)，擬了一堆標(biāo)題——盡管蒂莉不斷強(qiáng)調(diào)我們得有配套的故事。

那天我正在琢磨個(gè)故事，蒂莉突然沖進(jìn)來(lái)?！拔矣挚匆?jiàn)他了！”她大叫。

這回輪到我一臉茫然?！罢l(shuí)？”

“布拉德·比金斯?。　彼f(shuō)?！澳阏f(shuō)得對(duì)，他肯定沒(méi)干好事?？欤蒙舷鄼C(jī)，我們走！”

看來(lái)蒂莉終于開(kāi)始有點(diǎn)記者的樣子了。

費(fèi)盡心思跟故事

當(dāng)我們沖出門外來(lái)到圖書(shū)館的拐角處時(shí)，就看到布拉德正朝后院的籬笆走去。他手里抓著校服外套，但里頭似乎藏著東西，看起來(lái)很有分量，很奇怪。

蒂莉跟我同時(shí)停下了腳步。我倆都感覺(jué)有事要發(fā)生。

我倆心照不宣地退回到拐角處，悄悄地觀察。

當(dāng)布拉德將校服外套塞進(jìn)學(xué)校場(chǎng)地后面的灌木叢時(shí)，我掏出相機(jī)咔咔拍了幾張。

“看起來(lái)他是準(zhǔn)備回頭來(lái)取。”我輕聲道。

“我們?nèi)タ纯此疾亓松丁！钡倮蚩粗祭孪г谛ｉT外，對(duì)我說(shuō)。

我們走近籬笆，蒂莉俯下身推開(kāi)一些樹(shù)葉。結(jié)果，我們看到被包在校服外套里面的，是從辦公室偷來(lái)的兩臺(tái)筆記本電腦。

守株待兔抓現(xiàn)行

夜色初暗，布拉德便回來(lái)取電腦了。就在他彎下身拿起校服外套的那一刻，他聽(tīng)到了身后的動(dòng)靜。待他轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身時(shí)，我已經(jīng)擺好相機(jī)，一下就抓拍到了他的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)罪證。

這輩子我就沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)如此訝異的一張臉，尤其當(dāng)克蘭布老師帶著兩名警官?gòu)囊鼓恢谐霈F(xiàn)時(shí)。

蒂莉一個(gè)箭步上前，舉起手中的錄音筆。

“布拉德·比金斯，你還有什么要說(shuō)的？”

兩名警官正要將他帶走，他尖聲喊叫道：“我是被陷害的！”

“我可不這么認(rèn)為！”蒂莉凜然呵斥，“我們手上可有你下午藏匿電腦的照片！”

黑暗中，我透過(guò)閃光燈，看見(jiàn)布拉德認(rèn)罪的表情。

周一當(dāng)我走進(jìn)教室時(shí)，克蘭布老師正舉著報(bào)紙。

“標(biāo)題起得不錯(cuò)?！彼呎f(shuō)邊朝我狡黠一笑。我以為她說(shuō)的是：

布拉德偷“機(jī)”不成反蝕米

結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)她說(shuō)的是另一篇：

布谷鳥(niǎo)鐘收藏者——咕咕也是情

（英文選自《新理念英語(yǔ)閱讀》，中文由Coocoo翻譯）

考點(diǎn)詳解

no wonder 難怪

Wonder在這里意為“驚奇；稀奇”。短語(yǔ)no wonder 解釋為“難怪；怪不得”，相當(dāng)于中文的“原來(lái)如此”。如：Irene： John is very nice to you. 約翰對(duì)你很好。/Carol： Because he still owes me some money. 因?yàn)樗€欠我一點(diǎn)錢。/Irene： No wonder！ 難怪！

我來(lái)挑戰(zhàn)

Reading comprehension 閱讀全文，回答問(wèn)題

1. How did Ms. Cramble punish （懲罰） Magee when she noticed that he didnt listened to her all day？

2. Who was Tilly Turner？

3. What was Brad Biggens plan？

賞 析

文章講述了因上課開(kāi)小差而被老師留校的男生馬吉，在陰差陽(yáng)錯(cuò)之下，與報(bào)社優(yōu)等生蒂莉攜手破獲一起校園偷竊案的故事。

文章涉及不少趣味十足的英語(yǔ)新聞標(biāo)題。若是你平時(shí)較少閱讀英文報(bào)刊，不太熟悉英語(yǔ)國(guó)家文化背景以及英語(yǔ)的修辭手法——雙關(guān)、比喻、押韻等，許多妙不可言的精彩之處，一疏忽就可能從眼皮底下滑過(guò)去。

比如，文中馬吉擬定的幾條標(biāo)題就很有意思。BAD BRAD IN OFFICE GRAB！ 動(dòng)詞grab有“奪取”之意，與bad， Brad形成呼應(yīng)，韻感十足、朗朗上口。

再如，BISCUIT BAKERS TAKE THE CAKE. To take the cake 意為“得第一；無(wú)人能及”，但通常指負(fù)面的第一，也就是負(fù)面的事情無(wú)人能及，如偷竊最厲害、打架最行或罵人第一。英式英語(yǔ)中通常用同義的to take the biscuit， 這也是馬吉玩的一個(gè)文字游戲。

BRAD TAKES NOTES， POLICE TAKE BRAD. 布拉德偷了筆記本，警察逮了布拉德。這個(gè)標(biāo)題妙就妙在同一個(gè)動(dòng)詞take上。于是我在翻譯時(shí)化用了中文的“偷雞不成蝕把米”，盡可能還原了標(biāo)題的修辭特色。

CLOCK COLLECTOR NOT SO CUCKOO AFTER ALL. 布谷鳥(niǎo)cuckoo在作形容詞時(shí)表示“缺乏理智的；瘋狂的；愚蠢的”，這里一語(yǔ)雙關(guān)。

包括故事的標(biāo)題，也蘊(yùn)含雙關(guān)！你看出來(lái)了嗎？

你也來(lái)試著翻譯下面兩個(gè)標(biāo)題吧：

1. After The Boom（繁榮） Everything Is Gloom（蕭條）

2. Looking Back To Look Ahead