Son's Mind, Mother's Read

By Cai Yi

I was dining with my friend Mei one day. At the table, she complained that she was extremely angry when she heard her son wanted a tattoo. She told him, “Never come back to see me if you dare!”

I didn't give her any advice but shared one of my own experiences with her.

One night several years ago, my son, living in Los Angeles, the United States, called me to announce that he planned to run a travel agency after obtaining his doctorate in mathematics.

Tired from a day's hard work, I felt terribly depressed at his “great ambition.” He was in the doctoral program of mathematics at California University, and secured a white-collar job on campus against the cutthroat competition—he took charge of arranging further education for teaching assistants from all faculties and departments. This working experience would be a great benefit to his future career if he wanted to teach at the university or handle administrative affairs, so he was more than happy to accept it.

How was it that he suddenly changed his mind? He was never an early riser, but why call me from California in the early morning just to tell me he was going to run a travel agency? There must be some secret in it. Was he testing my patience? I thought I shouldn't give in to him so I took a deep breath before replying in relaxation, “You might as well own a travel agency as long as you can put into practice what you have studied for six years in mathematical theory. Anyway, you're the master of your own life.”

There was slight silence on the other end as if the word “l(fā)ife” had offered him much food for thought. He sighed after a while, “I don't think I'll find any job in my life which deserves my efforts. Although I taught as a teaching assistant for three years, with my performance consistently being at the level of A plus, I still got tired of it. Now I take care of the management of teaching assistants, but the administrative affairs are also boring.”

老朋友相約聚餐，席間小玫訴說(shuō)兒子明知道她不能接受刺青，卻再次對(duì)她提起要去刺青之事，氣得她撂下狠話：“刺了青，就永遠(yuǎn)別再來(lái)見(jiàn)我！”

我沒(méi)勸小玫，而是給她分享一件親身經(jīng)歷的事。

多年前的一個(gè)夜晚，我突然接到兒子遠(yuǎn)從洛杉磯打來(lái)的電話，他劈頭第一句話就說(shuō)：“媽，我念完數(shù)學(xué)博士決心去開旅行社?！?/p>

上班累了一天的我聽到這句“告白”，心頭一肚子氣。在加州大學(xué)念數(shù)學(xué)博士，難得在激烈競(jìng)爭(zhēng)下謀得一份校園內(nèi)高階工作——安排全校各科系助教的所有在職進(jìn)修與訓(xùn)練。這對(duì)他將來(lái)留校教書或從事行政工作有很大幫助，他曾經(jīng)很開心接下這份工作。

為什么今天他突然丟出這句話？從不早起的他為什么在加州的清晨特地打電話告訴我要開旅行社？中間定有蹊蹺。他是來(lái)考驗(yàn)我的耐性與情商嗎？我不能上當(dāng)，先深呼吸，一派輕松地說(shuō)：“開旅行社沒(méi)什么不好呀，只要你能運(yùn)用花了你六年時(shí)間的數(shù)學(xué)理論。反正人生是你自己的。”

他沉默了一下，好像在咀嚼“人生”這兩個(gè)字，然后悶悶地說(shuō)：“我覺(jué)得人生沒(méi)有哪種工作值得我努力付出。當(dāng)助教教了三年書，雖然成績(jī)一直A+，我還是厭了；現(xiàn)在在管理助教，算是行政階層，也不好玩。”

我猜他快要拋出問(wèn)題核心了。

“媽，明天要舉辦為期兩天的全校助教訓(xùn)練，我花了整整兩個(gè)月的時(shí)間、精力來(lái)籌備，結(jié)果學(xué)校教職員工工會(huì)為了一個(gè)案子和學(xué)校大起沖突，竟然要利用我的師訓(xùn)場(chǎng)地搞示威抗議，這樣，我所有的心血不都泡湯了嗎？”

啊哈，這才是來(lái)電真正目的！他遇到困難、挫折了，來(lái)求救了，但不直說(shuō)，先拋出一個(gè)煙幕彈，害我差點(diǎn)上當(dāng)。

我問(wèn)他助教訓(xùn)練在室內(nèi)還是戶外，示威的人要用擴(kuò)音器喊口號(hào)嗎？他說(shuō)：“訓(xùn)練在室內(nèi)，示威者只在門口及場(chǎng)外舉牌游行，但在室內(nèi)的窗口都看得一清二楚。”

我放下心中一塊大石頭，說(shuō)：“恭喜，你大出風(fēng)頭的機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)啦。有這么多工會(huì)的人來(lái)吸引人群注意，簡(jiǎn)直是在替你的師訓(xùn)做免費(fèi)宣傳嘛。好好把握機(jī)會(huì)，讓全校師生看到你?！?/p>

涉世未深的兒子學(xué)到了危機(jī)變轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)的道理，終于放下緊張、害怕的心，準(zhǔn)備接受明天的挑戰(zhàn)。至于要不要開旅行社，那根本不是重點(diǎn)。

我勸小玫千萬(wàn)不可輸給刺青，或許它也只是一顆煙幕彈，去挖掘事情的真相吧。

（摘自《忘了我是誰(shuí)》北京聯(lián)合出版公司）

I knew he was about to get to the point.

“Mom, there will be a two-day training program held for all the university teaching assistants. I have spent two months preparing for it, but the school staff waged a fight against the college authority due to a case, and they even wanted to stage a demonstration at the space where I intended to do the training. In that case, all my efforts would be wasted!”

Ah! Here came the real intention of his call. It turned out that he was seeking my advice as he met setbacks in his work. However, he didn't get straight to the point but beat around the bush so much as to almost take me in.

I asked him if the training was to take place indoor or outdoor, and if the demonstrators would shout slogans with amplifiers. To which he replied, “The training will be held indoor, and the demonstrators will be holding posters in the doorway or outside the training hall. But through the windows of the hall, everything is in view.”

Much relieved at his words, I said, “Good for you! Just take the chance to showcase your ability. So many members from the workers union will show up to draw people's attention and this will be a perfect free advertisement for your program. Boy, grab the opportunity to impress all the students and teachers!”

As a green hand in society, my son eventually learned how to turn a disadvantage into an advantage, and he successfully overcame his timidity to get ready for the challenges to follow. Regarding his plan to own a travel agency, that was just a symbol of his confusion.

I told Mei not to let the tattoo gain an edge over her. Maybe it was only a cover, under which the truth was hidden.

(FromWhoever You Are, Beijing Joint Publishing Company. Translation: Wang Wen)