A Wonderful Trip

本期點評名師

張祖平 男，80后英語教師，愛好翻譯，勤于寫作。在英語教學(xué)中，注重分層教學(xué)，尤其善于激勵英語薄弱的學(xué)生，用他們的興趣愛好，引導(dǎo)他們進行愉快閱讀。自主研發(fā)的“E飛英語口語考試小程序”獲2018年紹興市教師自制教具比賽一等獎。

A Wonderful Trip

Dear Jack，

How is it going？

Last summer vacation， I went to Beijing， China with my parents. On the first day， we visited the Great Wall. It was very long and tall！Climbed① it made me tired but excited. On the second day， we went to the Palace Museum. I was surprised to see so many wonderful things②. On the third day， we tried some Chinese food in a small restaurant. It was a pity that I couldnt use chopsticks③. On the last day， we went shopping in a big supermarket near Beijing University. The shop assistants were really friendly and they could speak English well.

The trip seemed too short and④ I want to visit China again.

Yours，

Mike

浙江省紹興市樹人中學(xué)七（5）班 吳肖悅

1. 優(yōu)點：

這是一篇關(guān)于旅行的作文，小作者寫得很真實。小作者能正確拼寫動詞的過去式，這點尤其值得點贊?？梢娦∽髡叩囊话氵^去式掌握得較為牢固。此外，小作者還用了long、tall、tired、excited、 surprised、wonderful等形容詞描述此次旅行中的相關(guān)景物，使文章增色不少。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①改為Climbing。動名詞放在開頭作主語。

②改為collections。故宮里的是收藏品，用collections比things更準(zhǔn)確。

③chopsticks后加副詞well，語意更貼切。

④and改為so，表結(jié)果。

3. 評分：

按照中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得18分。