社交媒體戒癮記

By Simon Doherty

I woke up yesterday at 8：15 a.m. and instinctively1 reached for my MacBook. I checked my emails and how many people had liked the article I wrote yesterday， on which someone had commented that they wanted me to kill myself. I climbed out of bed， showered， brushed my teeth， and made a cup of tea—though not before checking social media again and sending my girlfriend a meme2.

At my desk， I spent half an hour scrolling through my Facebook feed， skimming information I have little interest in， like someone with a life sentence reluctantly reading every book in the prison library.3 Someone I went to school with is getting married. I read a think piece4 about effective time management， and three pointless articles： an egg exploded in a microwave， a woman lost weight for her wedding， and someone was arrested for punching a police horse. Its now nearly 11：15 a.m.， and nothing in this vortex5 of irrelevance has helped me pay my rent.

Social media sucks the productivity out of me like this every day， half my time consumed by digital procrastination.6 I need the internet to work， of course. But my rampant7 web use doesnt feel healthy， and certainly isnt productive. As I write this， I have 27 browser tabs open and only four are related to my work.8 None of these tools help users to manage their time effectively—quite the reverse9.

Facebook、Twitter、Instagram和Tinder等社交媒體已經(jīng)成為現(xiàn)代人際交往的基石，人們在上面曬圖發(fā)帖，獲得朋友的評論點(diǎn)贊，以贏得歸屬感和認(rèn)同感。的確，社交媒體有很多好處和積極的影響，然而它們也會浪費(fèi)我們的時間，分散我們的精力和注意力，甚至讓人上癮，不能自拔。本文的作者就曾沉迷于社交媒體，然而最近，他想出了一個很好的方法來轉(zhuǎn)移自己的注意力……

Im aware I may have an “addictive personality，” and can be excessive with anything from drugs to Netflix and Pringles.10 Im also aware that this susceptibility can be channelled in a positive way； I knew someone who was addicted to crack but got clean，11 and subsequently became addicted to library books—taking out the maximum amount before borrowing his wifes library card to get his next hit.

So I decided to quit social media for a month， and when I felt the urge to login， Id read a book instead. It could be glorious， I decided. It had to be better than where I was.

Day Two： By the second day of my experiment， Id noticed my muscle memory urging me to type Facebook.com into my browser， like an athlete with a body finely tuned to perform the same motor movement over and over again.12 This “social media twitch13”happened progressively less throughout the month， and every time I felt it， I picked up a book. There were links to social media embedded14 in a lot of the digital articles I read， and that was hard. Now I know how recovering alcoholics feel when they walk past their local bar every day.

Day Six： Facebooks omnipotent algorithm had noted my absence， and began to send ever more desperate emails to try to lure me back in.15

Day Eight： Facebook had emailed me five times to tell me I had 135 notifications16. It felt like inappropriate behavior from an ex-partner， maybe grounds for a restraining order？17 My cursor hovered over the login； I yearned to see who had sent me friend requests.18 My mind started to suggest I could have just one look， and then restart the experiment tomorrow， but I resisted， shut my laptop， and picked up Slouching Towards Bethlehem19.

There are some report of people feeling lonely and isolated when they quit social media. I live with 20 other people， so I always have someone to talk to. But I did feel “out of the loop”20 when it came to some conversations.

Day 12： I was having dinner with my girlfriend and her friends. Despite the fact that， in the U.K.， our politicians were taking part in a historic Brexit vote at that very moment， the hot topic of conversation was the stock image of an egg that had amassed over 50 million “l(fā)ikes” on Instagram.21 It broke the record for “l(fā)ikes” on a single post， previously held by Kylie Jenner.22

“Simon doesnt know about any of this，” said my girlfriend， helpfully， “because hes taking a break from social media.” I politely nod while considering how many cultural reference points I would miss if I continued my abstinence23 indefinitely. Could I still write about youth culture， or would I be too out of the loop？

In the past， national TV moments—the Super Bowls halftime show， the police pursuit of O. J. Simpson， and Nixons resignation speech—used to wield such cultural capital that everyone was talking about them the next day.24 Now， its memes and viral videos and Twitter threads that generate a much more fragmented discourse.25 I might not have been following some conversations but， hey， I was on my fourth book by then. It seemed worth it.

Day 18： I imagine what the trolls26 have been posting about my latest article. They probably still wish me dead， but I almost miss their hateful bile； Ive always enjoyed the writertroll relationship in a perverse， self-flagellating kind of way.27 I miss them with the kind of begrudging28 affection a child might feel for an older sibling who bullies them. When I write for a few hours in the afternoon， I feel sharp29 and focused. My work is punctuated30 only by checking for updates on the Brexit. Things are looking up （for me， not for the U.K.）.

While I did manage to reduce my procrastination， I didnt totally eliminate it. My ever-creative brain found new ways to distract itself， seeking solace31 in stranger corners of the web that I found boring before—like using Google Translate to learn funny phrases and saying them to my Spanish housemates.

But nothing is as much of a compulsive time sink as social media.32 Facebook is my biggest problem， perhaps because Ive been using it for more than a decade. Its useful for keeping in touch with people on the other side of the world， and for listings of exhibitions and gigs and club nights—but its very hard to isolate these from all the flotsam and jetsam of the news feed.33

Stripped back to essentials， Facebook is really a direct contact marketing agency. Facebooks executives line their pockets with advertising dollars that are generated by our attention. But our attention is one of our most precious resources. I resent being manipulated and my attention diverted away from my work， my personal development， my personal success.

By the end of the month， my social media twitch had almost completely gone， and Id read five books and three magazines. I no longer ached for a social media dopamine34 hit first thing in the morning. In fact， my laptop had stayed in my backpack overnight， meaning the quality of my sleep improved because I wasnt staying up until 2 a.m. watching ludicrous35 YouTube videos about dead celebrities who are supposedly still alive.

1. instinctively： 本能地，下意識地。

2. meme： 互聯(lián)網(wǎng)文化基因，或說“?！保@里指配字的表情包。

3. 在我的辦公桌前，我花了半個小時刷Facebook動態(tài)，瀏覽我并不感興趣的信息，就像一個被判無期徒刑的人不情不愿地閱讀監(jiān)獄圖書館里的每一本書。scroll：滾動，翻看；feed： 動態(tài)消息；life sentence： 無期徒刑；reluctantly：不情愿地，勉強(qiáng)地。

4. think piece： 評論文章，時事短評。

5. vortex： 渦流，旋渦。

6. 每天，社交媒體都像今天這樣大大降低我的工作效率，讓我把一半時間都浪費(fèi)在數(shù)字化拖延癥上。procrastination： 拖延。

7. rampant： 失控的。

8. browser： 瀏覽器；tab： 標(biāo)簽頁。

9. reverse： 相反的。

10. addictive personality： 成癮人格；Netflix： 奈飛公司，在線影片租賃提供商；Pringles：品客薯片。

11. susceptibility： 敏感，易受影響的情況；crack： 強(qiáng)效純可卡因。

12. tune： 培養(yǎng)，訓(xùn)練；motor movement： 肌肉運(yùn)動。

13. twitch： 抽搐，抽動。

14. embed： 嵌入，植入。

15. Facebook的萬能算法發(fā)現(xiàn)我沒有登錄，便開始發(fā)送更多迫切希望我回歸的電子郵件，試圖把我引誘回去。omnipotent：萬能的，無所不能的；algorithm： 算法。

16. notification： 通知。

17. 這感覺就像前任的不當(dāng)舉動，或許可以申請限制令？restraining order： 禁令，限制令。

18. 我的光標(biāo)懸停在登錄界面上；我好想知道是誰給我發(fā)了好友邀請。cursor： 光標(biāo)，游標(biāo)；hover： 徘徊，懸停；yearn： 渴望，向往。

19. Slouching Towards Bethlehem：《向伯利恒跋涉》，作者瓊·迪迪翁是美國散文家、小說家，曾是著名的新聞工作者。這本散文集奠定了她在散文創(chuàng)作領(lǐng)域的地位，記述了她20世紀(jì)60年代在美國加利福尼亞州的生活經(jīng)歷。

20. out of the loop： 在圈外，不知情。

21. 盡管當(dāng)時英國的政客們正在參與一場歷史性的脫歐公投，然而我們聊天的熱門話題卻是Instagram上一張雞蛋的素材圖片，這張照片已經(jīng)獲得了超過五千萬個贊。amass： 積累，累計。

22. 它打破了之前由凱莉·詹納保持的單帖點(diǎn)贊的記錄。Kylie Jenner： 凱莉·詹納，美國演員、模特、企業(yè)家和社交媒體名人。

23. abstinence： 節(jié)制，禁欲。

24. 以前，超級碗的中場秀、警方追捕辛普森以及尼克松辭職演講等，這些全國性的電視播送片段都曾掌控巨大的文化資本，從而成為所有人隔天談?wù)摰脑掝}。Super Bowl： 美國職業(yè)橄欖球大聯(lián)盟（NFL）年度冠軍賽，中場秀即上下半場之間12分鐘的表演時間；O. J. Simpson： O. J.辛普森，前美式橄欖球運(yùn)動員，被指控于1994年殺害其前妻妮科爾·辛普森（Nicole Simpson）及餐館服務(wù)員羅納德·戈德曼（Ronald Goldman），后因證據(jù)存有漏洞，被判無罪，成為當(dāng)時美國最為轟動的事件；Nixon： 尼克松（Richard Nixon，1913—1994），美國第37任總統(tǒng)（1969—1974），1974年8月因“水門事件”辭職，成為美國有史以來第一個主動辭職的總統(tǒng)；resignation：辭職；wield： 運(yùn)用，掌握。

25. 如今的對話則更加零散，討論的都是網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的“?！?、廣為傳播的小視頻以及推特動態(tài)。

26. troll： 網(wǎng)絡(luò)噴子，鍵盤俠。

27. bile： 氣話，憤怒；perverse： 故意作對的，任性的；self-flagellating： 自我鞭笞的。

28. begrudging： 不快的，不滿的。

29. sharp： 敏銳的，有洞察力的。

30. punctuate： 不時打斷。

31. solace： 安慰，慰藉。

32. 但沒有什么能比社交媒體更讓人無法自拔地消磨時間了。

33. gig：（尤指爵士或流行音樂的）演奏會，演唱會；flotsam and jetsam： 原指失事船只的漂浮殘骸，引申指零碎雜物，無價值物。

34. dopamine： 多巴胺。

35. ludicrous： 荒唐的，滑稽可笑的。