A Letter from a Father to His Son

By Lin Da

February,2017

Dear Son,

I am not sure whether you can still remember one story you told us on your second day at home during your first holiday in law school in December of 2007.

On your way to school,you were taking a taxi from the New York airport.The driver was from East Africa.He told you that he was approached by a middleaged woman while waiting for passengers.Upon hearing the driver saying that it was hard to make money driving a taxi,with a lousy business and long working hours,she suggested the driver should not work so hard and instead,he should go ahead to apply for welfare money from the government.Although it was not a good amount of money,he could get by with it anyway.More importantly,he wouldn't need to work any more.

The driver confided to you: “I used to be a white-collar worker in a management position at a bank back in my country.It costs me a fortune to send my two children to a private school here,which has pushed me to spare no effort in making money.Do you think that it will all be worth it?”

You then told the driver: “I am sure that as your kids grow up,they are going to have lives very different from yours.However,it is quite likely that hers will follow her way.”

The driver said nothing.After a while,he choked on his words:“Thank you so much for saying this.”

I could remember clearly that as you finished your story,you said to me: “You and Mum are just like that driver.Thank you so much.”

In that moment,I had such a strong sense of relief.I greatly appreciate your understanding,my dear son.

At that point,I knew that our hard work over the years was all worthwhile.

My son,do you still remember the trip we had when you were 16?On our way to the airport,the bus was overcrowded and you were sitting on a long bench across from where Mum and I were.Shortly after the bus departed,the male passenger sitting next to you suddenly started twitching his facial muscles to make strange faces and kept shaking his head from side to side.By then,the passengers around him,sitting or standing,began to move away from him.We were also scared so that we kept motioning you to follow suit.But you completely ignored us all the way to the last stop.After we got off the bus,you told us: “I think that the man does not want to do what he is doing,but sadly he can do nothing about it.He would not hurt me and I was actually quite wary of what might happen.If I had stayed away from him like others did,it would have hurt him even more.”

We were truly impressed by your words.My son,you have such a kind heart.

You and your wife invited us to visit Hawaii at the beginning of 2016.When the time came to pay the bill as we finished our meal in a local restaurant,I took out my credit card instinctively.Then,you stopped me and said it was your treat.We fought over this for a while and finally you won.

I said quite emotionally:“I find it somewhat difficult to get used to the idea that my son pays for the meal when dining out.”

You responded: “Dad,you will get it eventually.”

In that moment,I was overwhelmed with the feeling of being protected and cared for by my son.To be honest,it felt amazing.

Dear son,you have touched us over and over with your thoughtfulness and gratitude,your kindness and consideration,as well as your care and sense of responsibility.We are so grateful to you for choosing our family and becoming our son.

You have indeed grown up.It is time for you to experience life on your own.Even though I cannot take your place in this regard,I will always care about you and watch over you quietly,just like the way my mother,in her 90s,is nonetheless concerned about me her grown son,looking after her children quietly in her own way.

Dear son,I sincerely wish you good health and a happy family.

Love you forever,

Dad