PRIDE IN PREJUDICE

孫佳慧

Turning the tables on regional stereotypes and bias

看網(wǎng)友如何用幽默

大戰(zhàn)“地域黑”

Where are you from？” can be a dangerous question. From the crafty image of coastal Southerners to Northerners reputation as yokels， social interaction in China is rampant with regional prejudice.

The habit of stereotyping people by geography is called “地域黑” （d#y&h8i;， regional slander） or more evocatively， “地圖炮” （d#t%p3o， map cannon）. Whether food or clothing， housing， and traveling habits， no aspect of life is out of range for the bigot brigade. But rather than arguing or reasoning with their slanderers， some people have found 自黑 （z#h8i， self-slander） to be an effective and humorous weapon against bias.

Take Guangdong province， whose people are said to consume anything that moves， flies， or swims. Cantonese cuisine incorporates ingredients like organs， chicken feet， duck tongue， frog legs， snake， snail， and even wild or endangered animals—and， if you believe the auto-complete function on Baidus search engine， “cats，” “rats” and “human fetuses.”

This stereotype is neither true， nor a compliment. But rather than deny it， Cantonese often add fuel to the fire by invoking another phrase—廣東人吃福建人（Gu2ngd4ngr9n ch～ F%ji3n r9n， Cantonese people eat Fujianese people）. This meme started during the 2017 Spring Festival season， when the following chat thread between a Fujianese and his Cantonese friend went viral：

A： I heard that you Cantonese people…

T～ngshu4 n@men Gu2ngd4ngr9n……

聽說你們廣東人……

B： Particularly love to eat Fujianese people.

T-bi9 3ich～ F%ji3nr-n.

特別愛吃福建人。

Other Cantonese jumped on the bandwagon.

People ask me whats the most famous dish in Cantonese cuisine； I say， Fujianese people.

Y6ur9n w-n w6， yu-c3i li sh9nme zu# y6um！ng？ W6 shu4， F%ji3nr9n.

有人問我，粵菜里什么最有名？我說，福建人。

Once， I went to Fujian， and my mouth couldnt stop watering！

W6 y6u y！ c# q& le F%ji3n， zh8nshi r0nbuzh& li% k6ushu@！

我有一次去了福建，真是忍不住流口水！

The edible Fujianese themselves are targets of geographic mockery， thanks to their accent. Influenced by local dialects， the stereotypical Fujian native mixes their fs as hs when speaking Mandarin. The Fujianese take it in stride， though， jokingly calling themselves “胡建人” （H%ji3nr9n， Hujianese）：

When we Hujianese laugh， we go “fafafa.”

W6men H%ji3nr9n xi3o q@lai d4u sh# “f` f` f`”de.

我們胡建人笑起來都是“發(fā)發(fā)發(fā)”的。

People from Dongbei （“northeast”）， shorthand for the provinces of Liaoning， Jilin， and Heilongjiang， are considered uncouth barbarians. Their eating habits are deemed unhealthy—barbecue meat for every meal—and fashion sense restricted to furs and gold chains. You may want to keep your mouth shut about all that， though， as a wrong remark or askance look could spark a fight with the reputedly violent Dongbei native. But one aspect of northeasterners is grudgingly admired by other Chinese： their alcohol tolerance. When dinner guests from other regions are already flat on their face， those from the north may find their baijiu cups being topped up：

You are from Dongbei， you must be good at drinking！

N@ sh# D4ngb0ir9n， k0nd#ng h0n n9ng h8！

你是東北人，肯定很能喝！

What should a poor Dongbei non-drinker do？ Use another stereotype as a shield：

I dont dare get drunk， or my wife will beat me to death.

W6 k0 b& g2n h8 du4， y3ob&r1n; w6 l2opo hu# d2 s@ w6.

我可不敢喝多，要不然我老婆會(huì)打死我。

Similar views are directed at Inner Mongolia， romanticized as a vast grassland populated by nomads. Residents sick of explaining their housing conditions （apartments）， means of transport （not horseback）， and economy （quite modern） to outsiders would rather say：

I have lived in a yurt since I was a kid， and never seen a building； I ride a horse to school every day， grazing milk cows on the way； if I run out of money， I knit sweaters to sell.

W6 c5ngxi2o zh& m0ngg^b`o， m9i ji3nguo l5uf1ng； m0iti`n sh3ngxu9 d4u sh# q！m2 q&， sh&nbi3n; f3ng y！xi3 n2ini%； y3oshi m9i qi1n le， ji& zh～ di2nr y1ngm1osh`n q& m3i.

我從小住蒙古包，沒見過樓房；每天上學(xué)都是騎馬去，順便放一下奶牛；要是沒錢了，就織點(diǎn)兒羊毛衫去賣。

People in Gansu may sympathize； their province is typically imagined as a barren， lifeless desert. Their rejoinder？

Thats right. We bathe only once a year， and our only means of transport is the camel.

M9i cu7， w6men y# ni1n zh@ x@ y！ c# z2o， w9iy～ de ji`ot4ng g4ngj& sh# lu7tuo.

沒錯(cuò)，我們一年只洗一次澡，唯一的交通工具是駱駝。

Not far off， the northwestern province Shanxi is one of the cradles of Chinese civilization. However， Shanxi is also known for its rich coal deposits， which has made the fortune of many a crooked “煤老板” （m9il2ob2n， mine boss）. According to stereotype， these vulgar， poorly educated nouveau riche have a penchant for buying luxury handbags， and cause all Shanxi folks to be asked： “你家里有礦嗎？” （N@ ji`li y6u ku3ng ma？ Does your family own a coal mine？ ） Heres an effective reply：

Too many！ Even the wind in our backyard is black！

N3 k0 t3i du4 le！ W6men ji` li1n h7uyu3n de f8ng d4u sh# h8i de！

那可太多了！我們家連后院的風(fēng)都是黑的！

By contrast， Wenzhou， Zhejiang province， is believed to be filled with wealthy entrepreneurs. The people there are known as self-starters and envelope-pushers， but are also blamed for over-speculation and driving up real estate prices. Faced with accusing glares from those who cant afford to buy a house， whats a Wenzhou native to do？ Why， humblebrag， of course：

We the people of Wenzhou have decided to take half the responsibility for the nation's skyrocketing housing prices.

W6men W8nzh4ur9n ju9d#ng w-i qu1ngu5 f1ngji3 sh3ngzh2ng f& y！b3n z9r-n.

我們溫州人決定為全國房?jī)r(jià)上漲負(fù)一半責(zé)任。

Still， arguably the most maligned province of China is none of the above： step forward， Henan. Its natives once had a reputation for being “honest， frank and rule-abiding，” at least according to an academic survey in the 1960s.

But within three decades， a series of health and other scandals had badly damaged the populous provinces reputation； in addition， agricultural Henan has had an unusually high proportion of internal migrants， earning the easy scorn of urbanites all over China. For some reason， the theft of manhole covers is associated with the Henanese， who might self-deprecatingly claim：

The manhole cover is our provincial currency. When we turn 18， we need to steal 18 covers， or we arent considered adults.

J@ngg3i sh# w6men sh0ng de li%t4ng hu7b#. W6men sh！b` su# de sh！hou d0i t4u sh！b` g- j@ngg3i， y3ob&r1n; b% su3n ch9ngni1n.

井蓋是我們省的流通貨幣。我們十八歲的時(shí)候得偷十八個(gè)井蓋，要不然不算成年。

Its in southwestern Yunnan， though， that out-of-towners might surreptitiously approach the locals about another “currency”：

Is it really easy to buy drugs in your hometown？

Z3i n@men ji` nar m2i d%p@n zh8nde h0n r5ngy# ma？

在你們家那兒買毒品真的很容易嗎？

Its not only smugglers and cartel kings who live near the “Golden Triangle，” but others dont have to know that：

Of course， you can even order it for take out！

D1ngr`n， h1i k0y@ ji3o w3im3i ne！

當(dāng)然，還可以叫外賣呢！

It almost appears that no province is without flaw， but at least were all as good or bad as one other. Next time youre asked “Where are you from？” maybe just put down your copy of Walden， and mutter：

I make my home wherever I am.

W6 s#h2i w9i ji`.

我四海為家。