抓好“五個(gè)一”,寫(xiě)好作文沒(méi)問(wèn)題

湖北

（作者單位：湖北省巴東縣第一中學(xué)）

關(guān)于高考英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作如何拿高分的觀點(diǎn)已有很多，如最流行的作文“五步法”，即：1.審題；2.列要點(diǎn)；3.將要點(diǎn)組合成句；4.連句成文；5.核對(duì)。對(duì)于一般作文而言，這五步是必要的，但這只是寫(xiě)作的常用步驟，而并非是寫(xiě)出優(yōu)秀作文的真正方法。在此，作者根據(jù)多年指導(dǎo)學(xué)生寫(xiě)作積累的一些經(jīng)驗(yàn)總結(jié)出優(yōu)秀寫(xiě)作之真正出路——“五個(gè)一”。

所謂“五個(gè)一”，指的是：一套精確的語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用（An accurate usage of language），一個(gè)恰當(dāng)?shù)奈恼陆Y(jié)構(gòu)（A balanced organization），一個(gè)引人入勝的開(kāi)頭（An inviting beginning），一個(gè)畫(huà)龍點(diǎn)睛的結(jié)尾（An excellent ending）以及一手漂亮的書(shū)法（A fine handwriting）。

英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作其實(shí)應(yīng)包含三個(gè)層次：準(zhǔn)確、流暢和優(yōu)秀。準(zhǔn)確是指能夠使用較準(zhǔn)確的詞匯、句型及語(yǔ)法表達(dá)信息和要點(diǎn)，保證文章中沒(méi)有語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤，用詞準(zhǔn)確得當(dāng)，結(jié)構(gòu)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，沒(méi)有單詞拼寫(xiě)、標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)等問(wèn)題。達(dá)到這個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，寫(xiě)作可以得到及格成績(jī)（15分）；其次是流暢，即文章中運(yùn)用了恰當(dāng)?shù)你暯釉~或過(guò)渡句，使全文上下通順，前后銜接，層次清晰，行文流暢統(tǒng)一。如果達(dá)到這一層次，文章已堪稱好文，可得良好分?jǐn)?shù)（20分）；第三個(gè)層次便是優(yōu)秀，即文章不僅用詞準(zhǔn)確，結(jié)構(gòu)合理，全文流暢，渾然一體，且全文語(yǔ)言精美，表達(dá)豐富，富有文采，此類文章當(dāng)屬優(yōu)秀，可得21～25分。

“五個(gè)一”中的一套精確的語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用是實(shí)現(xiàn)準(zhǔn)確表達(dá)的目的。語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確，不出現(xiàn)語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤和結(jié)構(gòu)問(wèn)題，文章便可得及格分?jǐn)?shù)；而一個(gè)恰當(dāng)?shù)奈恼陆Y(jié)構(gòu)便是實(shí)現(xiàn)流暢這一目的。要達(dá)到文章流暢，就必須調(diào)節(jié)使用大詞及普通詞匯、復(fù)雜句型與一般句型。一篇文章不可能通篇都使用高級(jí)詞匯或復(fù)雜句型，這樣會(huì)使得文章晦澀難懂，文意不暢。全部都是簡(jiǎn)單句或普通詞匯，文章又會(huì)顯得平淡，缺乏生動(dòng)，更談不上文采了，這種文章讀著乏味，令人興趣索然，即使無(wú)任何語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤，也最多只能及格；只有在既保證了語(yǔ)言精確、語(yǔ)句地道流暢，再輔之于其他一些潤(rùn)色，使文章錦上添花，作文才能博得讀者的眼球，才能被讀者當(dāng)作范文甚至美文欣賞，而一個(gè)引人入勝的開(kāi)頭，一個(gè)畫(huà)龍點(diǎn)睛的結(jié)尾及一手漂亮的書(shū)法便是錦上添花之絕妙神器。這一過(guò)程可用如下圖示顯示：

1.一套精確的語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用（An accurate usage of language）

下文是一篇選自2017年全國(guó)卷Ⅰ書(shū)面表達(dá)的考生習(xí)作（該文得分17分），本文信息表達(dá)完整，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，完成了全部的寫(xiě)作任務(wù)，語(yǔ)言的運(yùn)用也注意了長(zhǎng)短結(jié)合，簡(jiǎn)繁調(diào)節(jié)，文章比較流暢，但文章也出現(xiàn)了一些語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤。

Dear Leslie,

How are you going with the lesson what I taught you a few days ago? Today I write to you is to tell you about our next lesson, it is about the learning of Tang poetry.

As is known that Tang poetry is the peak of ancient Chinese culture, which every Chinese is absorbed in.It does great help to your Chinese learning.We’ll meet in the students recreation centre and the accurate place is Room 202 on the second floor.Will on this Saturday evening be OK for you? I will meet you at 7:50 at the gate, because the opening time is at eight o’clock.

Looking forward to see you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

經(jīng)過(guò)修改、重組后的范文：

Dear Leslie,

How are you going with the lesson that I taught you a few days ago? Today I am writing to tell you about our next lesson,which is about the learning of Tang poetry.

Widely known is that Tang poetry is the peak of ancient Chinese culture and many Chinese, including some foreign people are absorbed in it.I think it’s of great help to your Chinese learning.Will 8 o’clock this Saturday evening be convenient for you? We’ll have the lesson in Room 202 on the second floor of the Students’ Reaction Center.I will meet you at about 7:50 at the gate.

Drop me a line if anything is inappropriate for you.Looking forward to seeing you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

2.一個(gè)恰當(dāng)?shù)奈恼陆Y(jié)構(gòu)（A balanced organization）

以下作文語(yǔ)言表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確，沒(méi)有出現(xiàn)多少詞匯拼寫(xiě)、表達(dá)方面的問(wèn)題，句型結(jié)構(gòu)表達(dá)也符合語(yǔ)法和句型要求，全文結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)、層次清晰，內(nèi)容、信息完整。但文章沒(méi)有注意長(zhǎng)短句的結(jié)合使用，有時(shí)前后都是簡(jiǎn)單句，有時(shí)一些復(fù)合句又?jǐn)D在一起，致使文章有時(shí)顯得臃腫，而有時(shí)又顯得平淡乏味。需要對(duì)這些語(yǔ)句進(jìn)行重新組合，方能前后流暢，語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美。

Dear Leslie,

I am very glad you have made much progress in Chinese learning.I consider your level now.I’d like to teach you something about Tang poetry.

Tang poetry is a little complicated and so I suggest you should borrow some books about Tang poems and learn to read some Tang poems and get some knowledge of great poets of Tang Dynasty.I wonder if the time on this Saturday evening is all right for you and the opening time is at eight o’clock.The place is in the Students’ library.The meeting time is at 7:30 at the library gate.Please tell me if the schedule is improper for you.

Looking forward to see you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

經(jīng)過(guò)修改、重組后的范文：

Dear Leslie,

I am very glad you have made much progress in Chinese learning.Considering your current Chinese level, I determine to recommend you Tang poetry.

Strictly-structured and complicated，Tang poetry is a little difficult to learn.It’s advised that you read some Tang poems and get known something about the poetic structures as well as some great Tang poets in advance.The time is still at 8 o’clock on Saturday evening and the place is the Students’library.As I have something else to do after the lesson, shall I meet you at 7:30 at the library gate and start the lesson a little earlier?

Please tell me if there’s something unsuitable.Looking forward to seeing you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

有了以上兩個(gè)“一”，一篇好文章基本成型，但如果要更上一層樓，達(dá)到范文水平，顯然還不夠，還應(yīng)有一些美化或潤(rùn)色。

3.一個(gè)引人入勝的開(kāi)頭（An inviting beginning）

全國(guó)卷的英語(yǔ)作文一般是一封書(shū)信，書(shū)信一般有自己專門(mén)的開(kāi)頭格式。但固有的、模式化的開(kāi)頭會(huì)讓人覺(jué)得有千篇一律之嫌，從而令文章索然無(wú)味。因此要想給人留下好的第一印象，就得有一個(gè)引人入勝的開(kāi)頭，這能夠激發(fā)讀者興趣，博得好感。較好的書(shū)信開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)是開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山點(diǎn)題，一兩句話即點(diǎn)明主題，告訴讀者寫(xiě)信的目的，語(yǔ)句應(yīng)精煉，切忌拖泥帶水，但應(yīng)略顯用詞造句的功底，初露鋒芒。所謂“鳳頭豹尾豬肚”，既然是“鳳頭”就應(yīng)好看。一般采用兩個(gè)句子，且一長(zhǎng)一短，這顯得有層次并富有節(jié)奏感。如：

①Overwhelmed by your hobby in Chinese culture, I’d like to invite you to the paper-cutting exhibition.Below is the detailed information.

②There’s good news for you that our school table tennis team is to enroll new members.Will you join us?

以上兩個(gè)開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)均只有兩個(gè)句子，皆為一長(zhǎng)一短，但都清楚明了地介紹了作者寫(xiě)信的目的，且每個(gè)開(kāi)頭都使用了一定的高級(jí)詞匯和句型，如①中的Overwhelmed by，Below is，前者是過(guò)去分詞作狀語(yǔ)，overwhelmed一詞頗為高級(jí)，后者是倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)；②中第一句使用了同位語(yǔ)從句，enroll一詞也非常精妙。這為全文得高分奠定了很重要的基礎(chǔ)。

聞一多將天寶十四年“安史之亂”的爆發(fā)作為中國(guó)文學(xué)的分水嶺。從文學(xué)史來(lái)看，這種大轉(zhuǎn)折于詩(shī)表現(xiàn)得尤為明顯。唐高宗麟德二年至唐玄宗天寶十四年，是“詩(shī)歌的盛世”?！皬奶瞥鹞覀兊脑?shī)發(fā)育到成年時(shí)期了，以后便似乎不大肯長(zhǎng)了，直到這回革命以前，詩(shī)底形式同精神還差不多是當(dāng)初那個(gè)老模樣(詞曲同詩(shī)相去實(shí)不甚遠(yuǎn)，現(xiàn)行的新詩(shī)卻大不相同了)?！保?5］119詩(shī)至盛唐發(fā)展到頂峰，無(wú)怪乎聞一多將唐朝稱作“詩(shī)的唐朝”。

4.一個(gè)畫(huà)龍點(diǎn)睛的結(jié)尾（An excellent ending）

“豹尾”即結(jié)尾應(yīng)干脆簡(jiǎn)練，剛勁有力。高考英語(yǔ)閱卷時(shí)，由于時(shí)間的限制，一般閱卷老師不可能認(rèn)真仔細(xì)閱讀一篇文章的每一個(gè)句子，尤其是當(dāng)一篇文章比較長(zhǎng)時(shí)。因此閱卷老師最看重的就是文章的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾。有了引人入勝的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)，若再加上一個(gè)精彩絕倫的收官定會(huì)贏得閱卷老師的最大好感。重要的是全文會(huì)顯得和諧統(tǒng)一，渾然一體，處處透著完美。這樣才能讓讀者在讀完文章后能夠確保完整地了解了全文內(nèi)容，不然會(huì)留下疑問(wèn)或困惑。因此這種文章得高分也是必然的結(jié)果。常見(jiàn)的結(jié)尾大致有：

（1）使用諺語(yǔ)、格言或語(yǔ)錄

文章結(jié)尾處適當(dāng)使用諺語(yǔ)、格言或語(yǔ)錄能夠增添語(yǔ)言描述的分量和高度，可冠之于“冠冕堂皇”的可信度和引領(lǐng)作用。如：

①There’s a saying that goes “Life lies in the movement”.As China’s national sports, table tennis is appealing to more and more foreign friends.I hope you can be part of our team.

②As an old saying goes, “One-day teacher, life-long father.”It is the teachers that bring us up and make us what we are today.Our experience in the school will remain in our heart forever.

例①中“生命在于運(yùn)動(dòng)”闡釋了運(yùn)動(dòng)的意義，而乒乓球作為中國(guó)的國(guó)球也暗示了乒乓球作為國(guó)民健身的主要方式之一不僅受到中國(guó)人的高度重視，同時(shí)也吸引了越來(lái)越多的外國(guó)友人。這增加了被要求加入校乒乓球隊(duì)的外國(guó)留學(xué)生的決心。例②中“一日為師，終身為父”揭示了尊師重教的優(yōu)良傳統(tǒng)的重要性。老師是培養(yǎng)學(xué)生長(zhǎng)大成人的第二父母，更重要的是教會(huì)了學(xué)生報(bào)效祖國(guó)，同時(shí)也為自己的未來(lái)打拼、奮斗的文化知識(shí)和綜合素養(yǎng)。

（2）首尾呼應(yīng)

首尾呼應(yīng)是最常用的作文結(jié)尾方法之一。首尾呼應(yīng)能夠讓整篇文章前后更加銜接，全文更加統(tǒng)一，同時(shí)又能起到深化和強(qiáng)調(diào)主題的作用，讀后使人印象深刻。如：

① 開(kāi)頭：I am overjoyed to receive your email, in which you asked me how everything was going with me recently.I am too excited to tell you about my present situations.

結(jié)尾：Such is about my study and school life.How have you been recently? Looking forward to your reply.

結(jié)尾：China’s economy is expected to grow at a medium speed in the coming years, so an increase is possible in the investment in the movie industry and the number of quality movies.Therefore, its box-office income will probably enjoy a slight increase.

（3）歸納總結(jié)

全國(guó)卷的書(shū)面表達(dá)雖然多采用應(yīng)用文體裁的書(shū)信，但無(wú)論是哪種書(shū)信體大多還是以敘事或介紹為主，在結(jié)尾處加上一兩句點(diǎn)睛之筆進(jìn)行歸納總結(jié)，在起到升華主題的作用的同時(shí)也有一錘定音的妙用，所謂“豹尾”是也。如：

①I(mǎi)n short, internet voting, to some extent, is unfair, if not immoral, and cannot be trusted.Therefore, rules should be worked out and strictly observed.Everyone in our society should help those in need, but it is more important to be sincere and earnest.

②To conclude, in parents’ eyes, children are always their pride whatever they are and wherever they are.In the kids’eyes, to the contrast, they themselves are always the center.So what they really care is whether their parents can do as much as possible for them.They never care whether they will become their parents’ credit.

5.一手漂亮的書(shū)法(A fine handwriting)

有了“鳳頭豹尾”，而精準(zhǔn)優(yōu)美的語(yǔ)言、邏輯嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)慕Y(jié)構(gòu)則完美填補(bǔ)了“豬肚”，一篇美文已經(jīng)形成，但若要保證完美還得注意書(shū)寫(xiě)。任何人都不可忽視書(shū)面表達(dá)中卷面整潔，書(shū)寫(xiě)清晰、漂亮的重要性。高考英語(yǔ)評(píng)分細(xì)則中明文規(guī)定“卷面較差，以致影響交際，降低檔次給分”。一般而言，同等質(zhì)量的作文，書(shū)寫(xiě)優(yōu)美與書(shū)寫(xiě)較差之間會(huì)有2～3分的差距。如果滿紙亂畫(huà)、隨意涂改，極大影響閱卷老師的閱讀，即使文章里面有一些可讀性較好的句子仍只能得到10分以下甚至更低的分。試想如果你的文章語(yǔ)句并不差，只因?yàn)闀?shū)寫(xiě)造成這種嚴(yán)重的后果，這豈不是天大的災(zāi)難！但每年這種“冤假錯(cuò)案”卻數(shù)不勝數(shù)。

一手漂亮的英語(yǔ)書(shū)法并不難，注意到幾點(diǎn)便可有所進(jìn)步：

①與漢語(yǔ)書(shū)法不一樣，英語(yǔ)書(shū)寫(xiě)講究求同求一致原則，所有字母的書(shū)寫(xiě)要保持斜度一致、大小一致、高度一致、寬度一致、間度一致、風(fēng)格一致。

②直線筆直，曲線圓潤(rùn)、飽滿。英語(yǔ)字母不存在折線或拐彎，最好不要帶勾。

③所有字母保持在格子三分之二的位置，上面不要頂格，但所有字母，除f, y, p, g, q等字母外都應(yīng)下面貼線（y,p, g, q的上半部應(yīng)貼線）。

④考試中最好不連筆，所有字母保持緊湊但不緊挨，但每個(gè)單詞之間應(yīng)保持相等的間距（一個(gè)小寫(xiě)字母w的位置）。

⑤切忌潦草或涂改，若需涂改，也應(yīng)盡量不留明顯痕跡，以不影響整體卷面為原則。平時(shí)寫(xiě)作文要養(yǎng)成打草稿的習(xí)慣，確保每篇作文都要有從草稿到謄寫(xiě)的過(guò)程。