愛在心，口要開

愛在心，口要開

The bitterest tears shed［流出］over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds［行為］left undone.

—Harriet Beecher Stowe

Track 10

by Bobbie Lippman

翻譯：魚又

文字難度·

I met Connie the day she was1）admitted to the2）hospice3）ward， where I worked as a volunteer. Her husband， Bill， stood nervously nearby. Although Connie was in the final stages of her fight against cancer， she was4）cheerful. We got her5）settled in. I finished marking her name on all the hospital6）supplies she would be using， then asked if she needed anything.

“Oh， yes，” she said， “would you please show me how to use the TV？ I enjoy the7）soap operas so much and I don’t want to get behind on what’s happening.” Connie was a8）romantic. She loved soap operas， romance novels and movies with a good love story. As we became friends， she9）confided how frustrating itwas to be married 32 years to a man who often called her “a silly woman.”

“Oh， I know Bill loves me，” she said， “but he has never been one to say he loves me， or send cards to me.” She sighed and looked out of the window at the trees in the courtyard. “I’d give anything if he’d say ‘I love you，’ but it’s just not in his nature.”

Bill visited Connie every day. In the beginning， he sat next to the bed while she watched the soaps. Later， when she began sleeping more， he10）paced up and down the11）hallway outside her room. Soon， when she no longer watched television and had fewer waking moments， I began spending more of my time with Bill.

He talked about having worked as a12）carpenter and how he liked to go fishing. He and Connie had no children， but they’d been enjoying13）retirement by traveling， until Connie got sick. Bill could not express his feelings about the fact that his wife was dying.

One day， over coffee in the14）cafeteria， I got him on the subject of women and how we need romance in our lives； how we love to get15）sentimental cards and love letters.

“Do you tell Connie you love her？” I asked （knowing the answer）， and he looked at me as if I was crazy.

“I don’t have to，” he said. “She knows I do！”

“I’m sure she knows，” I said， “but she needs to hear it， Bill. She needs to hear what she has meant to you all these years. Please think about it.”

We walked back to Connie’s room. Bill disappeared inside，and I left to visit another patient. Later， I saw Bill sitting by the bed. He was holding Connie’s hand as she slept. The date was February 12th.

Two days later， I walked down the ward at noon. There stood Bill，16）leaning up against the wall in the hallway， staring at the floor. I already knew from the head nurse that Connie had died at 11 AM.

When Bill saw me， he allowed himself to come into my arms for a long time. His face was wet with tears and he was17）trembling. Finally， he leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath.

“I have to say something，” he said. “I have to say how good I feel about telling her. I thought a lot about what you said， and this morning I told her how much I loved her and loved being married to her. You should’ve seen her smile！”

I went into the room to say my own goodbye to Connie. There，on the18）bedside table， was a large Valentine card from Bill. You know， the sentimental kind that says， “To my wonderful wife， I love you.”

1） admit ［?d'm?t］ v. 許可進入，承認

2） hospice ［'h?sp?s］ n. 臨終關懷醫(yī)院

3） ward ［w??d］ n. 病房

4） cheerful ［'t???f?l］ adj. 快樂的

5） settle in 安頓下來

6） supply ［s?'pla?］ n. 供給品

7） soap opera 肥皂劇

8） romantic ［r?'m?nt?k］ n. 浪漫主義者

9） confide ［k?n'fa?d］ v. 傾訴，吐露

10） pace ［pe?s］ v. 踱步

11） hallway ［'h??lwe?］ n. 走廊

12） carpenter ［'kɑ?p?nt?］ n. 木匠

13） retirement ［r?'ta??m?nt］ n. 退休

14） cafeteria ［k?f?'t??r??］ n. 自助餐廳

15） sentimental ［sent?'ment?l］ adj. 多情的

16） lean ［li?n］ v. 倚靠

17） tremble ［'tremb?l］ v. 顫抖

18） bedside table 床頭柜

參考譯文

我在康妮住進臨終關懷醫(yī)院病房的那天遇見了她，我在那兒當志愿者。她的丈夫比爾焦慮不安地站在一邊。盡管康妮正處在與癌癥晚期搏斗的階段，但她的心情還挺不錯，我們將她安頓好了。我在醫(yī)院提供給她的所有用品上都標了她的名字，然后問她是否還需要些什么東西。

“哦，是的，”她說道，“你能向我演示一下怎么使用電視機嗎？我非常愛看肥皂劇，不想落下任何劇情。”康妮是個浪漫主義者。她愛看肥皂劇、愛情小說和講述美好愛情故事的電影。當我們成為了朋友以后，她向我吐露跟一個時常叫她“蠢女人”的男人結(jié)婚生活32年是一件多么令人沮喪的事。

“噢，我知道比爾愛我，”她說，“但他從未親口對我說過他愛我，或者送張卡片給我?！彼龂@了口氣，朝窗外庭院里的樹木望去?！叭绻軐ξ艺f句‘我愛你’，我愿付出一切，但這根本不是他的性格?！?/p>

比爾每天都會來探望康妮。剛開始，他會在她看肥皂劇時坐在床邊。后來，隨著康妮的昏睡時間越來越長，他就在病房外的走廊走來走去。不久后，康妮不再看電視了，清醒的時候也更少了，我開始花更多的時間陪著比爾。

他說他一直做著木匠的工作，說他有多愛釣魚。他和康妮沒有孩子，但他們很享受退休后的旅行時光，直至康妮患病。對于妻子病危這一事實，比爾無法向我細述他的感受。

一天，我們在自助餐廳里喝咖啡，我向他提到了女人這個話題，談到在生活中我們多么需要浪漫，多想收到柔情蜜意的卡片和情書。

“你對康妮說過你愛她嗎？”我明知故問，而他像看一個瘋子一樣看著我。

“我沒必要說，”他說道，“她知道我愛她！”

“我能肯定她是知道的，”我說，“但她需要聽到你說，比爾。她需要親耳聽你說說這些年來她在你心中意味著什么。請你好好想想吧?！?/p>

我們走回康妮的病房。比爾走了進去，而我則走開去看望其他病人。后來，我看到比爾坐在病床邊?？的菟?，他握著她的一只手。那天是2月12日。

兩天后的中午時分，我經(jīng)過病房。比爾站在那兒，靠在走廊的墻上，盯著地板。我已經(jīng)從護士長那里得知康妮在上午11點離開了人世。

比爾看到我后，將自己蜷在我的懷抱里許久。他的臉被淚水打濕，渾身顫抖。最終，他靠回墻上，深吸一口氣。

“有些話我一定要說，”他說道?！拔也坏貌徽f，告訴她我有多愛她的感覺棒極了。關于你說的話，我想了很多。就在今天早上，我告訴了她我有多愛她，告訴她能與她結(jié)為夫婦我有多開心。你真該看看她的笑容！”

我走進病房，親自向康妮告別。在床頭柜上，我看到比爾寫給她的一張大大的情人節(jié)卡片，上面寫著滿是柔情的話語：“致我的賢妻，我愛你?！?/p>

Words from the Heart