繪也圓
憑什么女孩就該遠(yuǎn)離危險
繪也圓
Fear Should Not Be EXpected of Girls
I was one of the first women in the San Francisco Fire Department. For more than a dozen years, I worked on a busy rig in a tough neighborhood.
I expected people to question whether I had the physical ability to do the job. What I didn't expect was the question I heard more than any other: "Aren't you scared?"
It was strange — and insulting— to have my courage doubted. I never heard my malecolleagues asked this. Apparently, fear is expected of women.
So I biked down a steep country road (and hit a car). I sledded down an icy hill (and hit a tree). I don't remember my parents freaking out;they seemed to understand that mishaps①mishap 英[mis·hap] 美 ['m?sh?p] n.不幸之事, 厄運(yùn), 災(zāi)禍were part of childhood. I got a few stitches,and kept biking and sledding. Misadventures meant that I should try again. With each triumph over fear and physical adversity, I gained confidence.
When a girl learns that the chance of skinning her knee is an acceptable reason not to attempt the fire pole, she learns to avoid activities outside her comfort zone. Soon many situations are considered too scary, when in fact they are simply exhilarating②exhilarating 英 [?ɡ'z?l?re?t??; eɡ-] 美[?ɡ'z?l?ret??] adj. 使人愉快的;令人喜歡的;爽快的v. 使高興,使興奮(exhilarate的現(xiàn)在分詞形式)and unknown. Fear becomes a go-to feminine trait, something girls are expected to feel and express at will. By the time a girl reaches her tweens no one bats an eye when she screams at the sight of an insect.
We must chuck the insidious language of fear (Be careful!That's too scary?。?and instead use the same terms we offer boys, of bravery and resilience. We need to embolden③embolden 英 [?m'b??ld(?)n; em-] 美 [?m'bold?n] vt. 使有膽量,使大膽girls to master skills that at first appear difficult, even dangerous. And it's not cute when a 10-year-old girl screeches④screech 英 [skri?t?] 美 [skrit?] vi. 發(fā)出尖銳的聲音;發(fā)出恐懼或痛苦的叫喊聲n. 尖叫聲,尖利刺耳的聲音;尖聲喊叫vt. 尖著聲音講或喊, "I'm too scared."
When I worked as a firefighter,I was often scared. Of course I was. So were the men. But fear wasn't a reason to quit. I put my fear where it belonged, behind my feelings of focus, confidence and courage. Then I headed,with my crew, into the burning building.
我曾是舊金山消防局第一批女消防隊員。十多年來,我?guī)е籽b備,在環(huán)境惡劣的社區(qū)里工作。
我預(yù)料到人們會問,我是否有足夠的體力做這份工作。我沒料到的是,我比其他任何人都容易遇到這個問題:“你不害怕嗎?”
質(zhì)疑我的勇氣不僅很奇怪,而且很羞辱人。我從來不曾聽見我的男同事被問到這個問題。恐懼對于女性而言,顯然是理所當(dāng)然。
我曾騎著自行車沖下鄉(xiāng)間路的陡坡(撞上了一輛車);我也曾坐著雪橇滑下冰峰(撞上了一棵樹)。我不記得我父母抓狂過,他們看上去很理解,小意外不斷總是童年的一部分。我縫了幾針后,依然會去騎自行車和滑雪橇。挫敗意味著我應(yīng)該再嘗試一次。隨著每一次克服恐懼,戰(zhàn)勝挫折,我在勝利中獲得了自信。
當(dāng)一個女孩了解到“膝蓋可能會破皮”是不去嘗試滑桿的合理理由,她就會去學(xué)著躲避舒適區(qū)以外的事情。很快,有很多事情就會被認(rèn)為過于可怕,盡管實際上那些事情只是讓人興奮、充滿未知??謶殖闪伺缘牡湫吞卣?,人們預(yù)期女孩會感到恐懼,也會任意表達(dá)恐懼??斓角啻浩诘臅r候,當(dāng)一個女孩看到昆蟲后驚呼,也不會有誰感到驚訝。
我們必須摒棄那種灌輸恐懼的語言——小心點!太嚇人了!——這在潛移默化間產(chǎn)生了負(fù)面的影響。應(yīng)該講與形容男孩子一樣的,褒揚(yáng)勇氣和堅韌的話。我們需要鼓勵女孩去掌握那些一開始看起來困難、甚至危險的技能。10歲的女孩尖厲地叫喊“我好害怕呀”,這并不是可愛。
我在擔(dān)任消防員期間,時常感到害怕。我當(dāng)然害怕,那些男人也怕。但恐懼并不是退縮的理由。我把恐懼感放在了該放的地方,放在了我專注、自信、勇敢的情緒背后。之后我與戰(zhàn)友并肩走進(jìn)了燃起熊熊烈火的建筑物。