Significance of Conflict Talk in interpersonal Relationships

柯建華 羅丹

【Abstract】Conflict talks occur in almost every field of human life such as medicine， school， court， and some other social organizations where the interaction results are of much significance to the conversationalists， or in others words， to their status in the organization and honor in the society. A lot of conflicts go unresolved. Oppositional exchanges in a conflict may be used by participants to achieve certain goals， for instance， exploring and developing verbal skills as candidates in a debate competition do， and maintaining social hierarchies within groups or organizations such as leaders giving orders in an institution. Dealing with conflict helps to promote interpersonal relationships.

【Key words】Conflict talk； Non-resolution； Interpersonal relationships

1. The Inevitability of Conflict Talk

Allen D.Grimshaw says conflict talk is an important feature of everyday life， a source of drama in literature and a critical consideration for the maintenance of humanity in the age of nuclear weaponry. And it occurs in almost every field of human life such as medicine， school， court， and some other social organizations where the interaction results are of much significance to the conversationalists， or in others words， to their status in the organization and honor in the society. Face-negotiation assumption argues that communication in all cultures is based on maintaining and negotiating face. An individuals attitudes， values， skills， and goals may be irreconcilable with attitudes， values， skills， and goals possessed by others. Every one in every walk of life may engage in conflict talk every day. But when conflict talk occurs inevitably， good strategy like changing the topic is no doubt a smart consideration without doing harm to other-face. Competence in intercultural communication is a culmination of knowledge and mindfulness. If conflict talk always develops in a good way， it contributes to peoples socializing in the society.

2. The Non-resolution In Conflict Talk

In the daily life， a lot of conflict ends with no resolution at all. But little relevant studies appear in domestic linguistic researches. The majority of linguistic studies in conflict talk try to figure out a resolution to stop the conflict to the ignorance of the important role of non-resolution. Even the aggravated disagreements are part of human culture. Proceeding the conflict is a way of interacting for making friends and establishing relationships. So non-resolution is common in conflict talk. A lot of western scholars have noticed the inevitability of non-resolution. As in disputes among children， they will develop their social knowledge and get to know more about the social world through the process of making points and counterpoints. The conflict between them often go unresolved. Children are always confused about the social world， the exchange of oppositional turns is a process of disambiguating during which every one shares their knowledge on everything they argue about， such as friendship， toys， play activities， werewolves， etc. To participate in the dispute helps them develop a sense of control over the social world. People always engage in the conflict talk sharing ideas and expressing feelings and they rarely find a solution to conflict.