幽默小故事

If I Had a Million Dollars

The teacher asked his pupils to write a composition telling what they would do if they had a million dollars. Every student except Willie began writing quickly.

Willie sat and watched the flies on the ceiling1.

“How is this， Willie？” asked the teacher， “Is this your composition？ All the other pupils have written two sheets or more while you haven’t done anything！”

“Well，” replied Willie， “that’s what I’d do if a had a million dollars！”

如果我有一百萬(wàn)美元

老師讓學(xué)生寫(xiě)篇作文，談?wù)勊麄內(nèi)绻?00萬(wàn)美元會(huì)干什么。除了威利，所有的學(xué)生都立刻寫(xiě)了起來(lái)。

他坐著盯著天花板上的蒼蠅看。

“怎么了，威利？”老師問(wèn)道?！澳憔瓦@樣寫(xiě)作文嗎？其他同學(xué)都寫(xiě)了2頁(yè)或更多了，而你什么都沒(méi)干！”

“是啊，”威利答道，“我要是有100萬(wàn)美元的話，那就是這個(gè)樣子咯?！?/p>

A Cat That Can Speak

Mrs. Margaret had a little cat. One evening it was outside when it began to snow heavily. Mrs. Margaret looked everywhere， but she did not find it. So she telephoned the police and said， “I have lost a small black cat. Has anybody found one？”

“No， madam，” said the policeman at the other end， “But cats are very strong animals. They sometimes lie for days in the snow， and when it melts2 or somebody finds them， they are still all right.”

Mrs. Margaret felt happy when she heard this. “And，” she said， “our cat is very clever， she almost can speak.”

“Well then，” the policeman said， “why don’t you put your telephone down？ Perhaps she is trying to telephone you now.”

一只會(huì)說(shuō)話的貓

瑪格麗特太太養(yǎng)了一只小貓。一天晚上，貓出去了，這時(shí)天上下起了大雪?，敻覃愄靥教帉ふ遥墒菦](méi)找到，于是她給警察打電話說(shuō)：“我丟了一只小黑貓，有人看到它嗎？”

“沒(méi)有，太太！”警察在電話的另一端說(shuō)道，“但是貓是非常皮實(shí)的動(dòng)物，它們有時(shí)候能在雪地里呆好幾天，當(dāng)雪融化或有人發(fā)現(xiàn)時(shí)，它們?nèi)匀话踩粺o(wú)恙?！?/p>

聽(tīng)到這話后，瑪格麗特太太感到很高興。“還有，”她說(shuō)，“我們家的貓非常聰明，幾乎可以說(shuō)話?！?/p>

“那好，”警察說(shuō)：“那你為什么不把電話放下？也許那只貓正想給你打電話呢！”