Forgiveness 寬恕

湖北武漢 景一 選譯

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Forgiveness 寬恕

湖北武漢 景一 選譯

anyone else.

The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger，depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope，peace and self confidence.Forgiveness is very important because when we carry around resentment and anger，guilt and shame，it hurts our health，happiness and our relationships. By releasing all of that，you can repair relationships with yourself and everyone in your life leads to physical health.

Forgiveness is not for the other person.It is a gift for yourself.People who are angry are more likely to get ill or die early.So this is something you’re doing for yourself.Make a promise to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better.When you’re in a state of resentment and anger，you can’t be a great partner or a successful person.

★寬恕是為了你自己而不是為了其他任何人。

實踐已證明，寬恕能減少憤怒、抑郁和壓力，并帶來希望、平靜和自信的更佳感覺。寬恕很重要，因為怨恨、憤怒、內(nèi)疚和羞愧的情緒會損害我們的健康、幸福以及與他人的關(guān)系。釋放這些情緒可以讓你修復(fù)與自己以及每一個出現(xiàn)在你生活里的人的關(guān)系并讓你身體健康。

寬恕并非為了他人，而是你送給自己的禮物。長期處于憤怒狀態(tài)下的人更容易不舒服，甚至是早逝。因此，這么做是為了你自己。給自己一個的承諾，去做那些讓你保持身心舒暢而必須做的事吧。如果你心懷怨尤和憤怒，是不可能成為一個好搭檔或者成功人士的。

★Forgiveness is neither forgetting nor condoning.

Forgiveness is not forgetting.You’re not going to forget—It happened.Forgiveness is not condoning what happened neither.Forgiveness is not letting it happen again.You should get the right perspective on what is happening.

Forgiveness does not require anyone else.A lot of times people think，“I’ll only forgive if they apologize.”Forgiveness is an internal event where you give up the wish that something had not happened.You’ve been saying，“If only that hadn’t happened，then I would be happy.”But you can’t go back in time.Recognize that your pain is coming from the hurt feelings，thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now，not what offended you or hurt you two minutes or ten years ago.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting the person that hurt you，or condoning of their action.What you are after is to find peace.Many people say they can’t forgive because what happened was too big of an event.But you can’t forgive something that was a good thing.Of course it was something bad that happened.But you can say，“I’m going to let that be in the past.”O(jiān)r，say“I can’t change what happened.I can’t change the past.I can change the present and the future，and I choose to do that.”

What forgiveness really is:Accept that it happened and asking yourself，“What can I do now？”

★寬恕既不是遺忘也不是縱容。

寬恕不等于遺忘。你不會忘記那些事——因為它們的確發(fā)生過。寬恕也不等于縱容已經(jīng)發(fā)生的事情。寬恕是不讓它再次發(fā)生。你應(yīng)該從正確的角度去看待發(fā)生的事情。

寬恕不是要求別人做什么。在很多時候，人們會想，“要是他們來道歉，我就原諒他們?！睂捤?yīng)是你發(fā)自內(nèi)心地放棄了對過去沒有發(fā)生事情的期望。你會說，“要是那件事沒有發(fā)生，我本來會很快樂。”但你無法回到過去。你應(yīng)該認識到你的痛苦來自于你現(xiàn)在正在遭受的情感，思想的傷害和身體上的不適，而不是兩分鐘前或十年前對你的冒犯或傷害。

寬恕并不意味著忘記傷害你的人，或是縱容他們的行為。你尋求的是內(nèi)心深處的平靜。很多人說，他們無法寬恕是因為所發(fā)生事件影響太大。但你無法寬恕某些事情也并非壞事。的確那發(fā)生的并不是什么好事。不過，你可以說，“我就讓它留在過去吧?！被蛘哒f，“我無法改變發(fā)生的事情，無法改變過去。但我可以改變現(xiàn)在和未來，而這也是我的選擇。”

真正的寬恕是：接受已發(fā)生的事情，并問問自己，“我現(xiàn)在可以做什么？”

★Don’t wait to say I’m sorry.

A lot of times，people say，“I’ll wait for them to call me.”Don’t—they’re saying the same thing.Be the leader in this situation.

Even if you were not the person who did the wrongdoing，you probably had some role in this.Apologize sincerely，without the word“but”.So“I’m sorry I yelled at you，but you yelled at me first”doesn’t count.Rather say，“I’m sorry that I yelled at you.I care about you and I want us to move past this.”

★別等他人說抱歉。

很多時候，人們都說，“我等他們給我打電話?！鼻f別！——因為他們一直說著同樣的事。在這種情況里爭取主導(dǎo)地位。

即便主要過錯不在你，但你也不是完全沒有責(zé)任。真誠地道歉，不要說“但是”。所以，“抱歉剛剛對你這么大聲說話，但是你先朝我嚷嚷的”，這么說可沒用。你還不如說，“抱歉，剛才這么嚷嚷，我也是在乎你，我想我們就讓這件事情過去吧?！?/p>

★You can hope for health，love，peace and success and work hard to get them.

Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge.Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings，and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you. Learn to look for the love，beauty and kindness around you.Ask yourself:How can I be different？How can I prevent this from happening in the future？

Give up expecting things from other people，or your life，that they do not choose to give you.Recognize the“imperfections”you have for your health or how you or other people must behave.Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you.Remind yourself that you can hope for health，love，peace and success and work hard to get them.

★你可以向往健康、愛、平和及成功，并努力去得到這些。

請記住，好好地生活是你最好的報復(fù)。不要專注于讓你受傷的感受，而讓那些造成你痛苦的人超過你。學(xué)會尋找你周圍的愛、美和善良。問問你自己：怎么做才能有所不同？怎么做才能避免未來再發(fā)生這樣的事情？

放棄期待那些其他人或你的生活不會選擇給你的東西吧。你必須承認你的健康中的或是你或其他人行為中的“不完美”。把你的精力投入到尋找另一種方式來達成你的積極目標之中去吧，而不是通過那些傷害你的經(jīng)驗來達成。提醒自己，你可以向往健康、愛、平和及成功，并努力去得到這些。

★Forgiveness is for you and not for