Why Thoughtful Gifts Are the Worst Gifts

By Roberto A. Ferdman

研究表明，送禮人似乎比收禮人更重視他們自己買的禮物。這種差別似乎源于一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單又不合時(shí)宜的理念，即經(jīng)過深思熟慮的禮物就是最好的禮物。但實(shí)際卻并非如此。事實(shí)上，它們可能是最差的禮物。你在一個(gè)禮物上花費(fèi)的心思越多，就越不可能買到對(duì)方真正想要的禮物。

During all kinds of holidays, millions of people will buy gifts for loved ones. Which is great—except that tons of those people will make the same glaring1. glaring： 顯眼的，惹人注意的。mistake, and buy the wrong gift.

Roughly 10 percent of gifts are returned each year—and the percentage of unwanted gifts is surely higher given that nice people may not want to return presents.

What’s going on?

Gift buying has become a deceivingly2. deceivingly： 具有欺騙性地。selfish pursuit. We don’t actually look for things people want to receive. Instead, and to many of our gifts’detriments3. detriment： 造成損害的原因，這里指買到不合適的禮物的原因。, we tend to look for things that we want to give. It’s a subtle4. subtle： 微妙的，敏感的。, but pretty significant problem.

The research says so.

“Gift givers want to prove how well they know a person by choosing a thoughtful gift,” Mary Steffel, an assistant professor at the University of Cincinnati whose research has focused on giftgiving. “But people aren’t very good at anticipating what others want.”

Research has shown that givers tend to value the gifts they buy considerably more than recipients.Gifts are valued roughly 10 to 33 percent less by recipients than what givers paid for them, Joel Waldfogel noted in Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn’t Buy Presents for the Holidays5. Scroogenomics： Why You Shouldn’t Buy Presents for the Holidays： 經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家喬爾·沃德弗格（Joel Waldfogel）于2009年出版的《送禮經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)》。, his 2009 book on gift-giving.

The discrepancy seems to come from a simple misplaced belief that thoughtful presents are the best presents.6. discrepancy： 矛盾，差異；misplaced： 錯(cuò)位的。They are not. In fact, they might just be the worst presents. The more thought you put into a present, the more likely you are to stray from7. stray from： 偏離。buying what the person you’re buying the present for actually wants.

“Gift givers tend to focus on what people are like instead of what people actually would like,” said Steffel. “And it’s most pronounced when they’re shopping for people they are close to.”

In other words, people let their gift-giving egos get in the way of great presents.8. ego： 自我，自我意識(shí)；get in the way of：妨礙，阻礙。Especially when the recipient is someone they want to show they know really well.

《送禮經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)》

Fortunately, the answer to our collective9. collective： 共同的。insistence on guessing what people want is simple: stop it.

“People want whatever it is they happen to want in the moment, which can be very specific,” Steffel said. “You’re much better off asking people what they want.”

If that’s too callous, or impersonal, there’s another helpful rule of thumb.10. 如果這樣做顯得太冷淡或者沒有人情味兒的話，還有另一條有用的經(jīng)驗(yàn)法則。callous： 冷淡的；rule of thumb： 經(jīng)驗(yàn)法則。Instead of buying restrictive11. restrictive： 限制性的。gifts,like gift cards for specific stores, buy gifts that allow for flexibility, like gift cards that can be used more broadly(or, better yet, cash). People tend to prefer gift cards to actual gifts, and cash to both, Steffel explained. Steffel’s latest research, which focuses on gift card giving, points to exactly this point—that versatility12. versatility： 多功能性，用途廣泛，下文的versatile為其形容詞形式。is the key to better gift giving.

Steffel cited a specific example to show how a giver’s thoughtfulness can miss the mark. Say you have a friend, and that friend really likes margaritas13. margarita： 瑪格麗特，雞尾酒的一種。主要是由龍舌蘭酒和各類橙酒及青檸汁等果汁調(diào)制而成。. You might think to buy that friend a margaritamaker14. margarita-maker： 調(diào)制瑪格麗特雞尾酒的調(diào)酒器。.

But a margarita-maker, even if it speaks to a specific quality in that friend (in this case, an insatiable thirst for tequila), is actually a pretty terrible present.15. 但是一個(gè)雞尾酒調(diào)酒器實(shí)際上是一個(gè)相當(dāng)糟糕的禮物，即使這個(gè)朋友有這種特質(zhì)——假設(shè)此人是一個(gè)愛喝龍舌蘭酒的酒鬼。speak to： 證明；insatiable： 貪得無厭的，不知足的；tequila： 龍舌蘭酒。In virtually every scenario, a blender, or any other more versatile drink-maker,would be a far superior present.16. scenario： 方案； blender： 攪拌機(jī)；versatile：用途廣泛的；drink-maker：飲料機(jī)。Better yet? Give the friend enough cash to buy the device17. device： 裝置，設(shè)備。, suggest it, and then accept the reality that they’re probably going to buy something else they want much more.