找準(zhǔn)突破口 寫出好作文

徐啟富　謝凌

英語(yǔ)作文，又稱“書面表達(dá)”，是英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)的重要組成部分，也是中考英語(yǔ)試卷上的壓軸題。優(yōu)秀的寫作題能客觀檢測(cè)學(xué)生的邏輯思維能力和語(yǔ)言組織能力，更能反映學(xué)生綜合運(yùn)用語(yǔ)言的能力。同學(xué)們要想駕馭寫作題，取得好成績(jī)，就必須找準(zhǔn)突破口。

一、把握試題特點(diǎn)

英語(yǔ)作文有別于語(yǔ)文作文，它是一種限定型的半開放式寫作（guided writing），一般都有明確的信息提示，以及詞數(shù)、文體等限定條件。從近幾年的中考命題趨勢(shì)看，寫作試題大致可分為以下幾類：

（一）要點(diǎn)限定型寫作題

【真題鏈接】

（2014年武漢卷）假如你是李明。本周五早上你班同學(xué)將去格林農(nóng)場(chǎng)參加實(shí)踐活動(dòng)。請(qǐng)你用英語(yǔ)草擬一則通知。

內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)如下：

1.摘蔬菜，給植物澆水；

2.7點(diǎn)校門口集合，乘車前往；

3.體驗(yàn)農(nóng)場(chǎng)生活，活動(dòng)約2小時(shí)；

4.相互關(guān)照，注意安全；

5.補(bǔ)充一至兩點(diǎn)有關(guān)事項(xiàng)。

注意：

1.詞數(shù)：60～80；

2.不要逐條翻譯，內(nèi)容要連貫；

3.通知的開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。

參考詞匯：experience v. 體驗(yàn)；pick v. 摘；activity n. 活動(dòng)

Fellow students，

Our class are going to Green Farm this Friday morning.

Thank you for your attention.

【范文賞析】

Fellow students，

Our class are going to Green Farm this Friday morning. Would you like to experience farm life？ We can pick some vegetables and water the plants. Well stay there for about 2 hours. I bet the meaningful activity will make the trip unforgettable. Well meet at 7 a.m. at the school gate and take a bus there. Remember always be with your classmates， help each other， and never do anything that may hurt you. By the way， youd better wear your sports shoes. Have a good time.

Thanks for your attention.

【寫作分析】

該篇寫作題目選擇與學(xué)生生活相關(guān)的社會(huì)實(shí)踐活動(dòng)為話題，所給寫作提示比較多。因此，審題比較簡(jiǎn)單，看清要求就行；構(gòu)思比較容易，不遺漏任何要點(diǎn)即可。此類題目得分率較高，同學(xué)們只要逐條表達(dá)相關(guān)提示，注意語(yǔ)言的準(zhǔn)確性，即可取得高分。全國(guó)大多數(shù)命題單位采用這種命題形式，其優(yōu)點(diǎn)是評(píng)卷老師比較好把握評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，而缺點(diǎn)是學(xué)生的創(chuàng)新能力得不到發(fā)揮。

（二）情景提示型寫作題

【真題鏈接】

（2014年陜西卷）在日常生活中，你看到身邊有哪些不良現(xiàn)象？請(qǐng)列舉一些并就某些方面說說你的做法和想法。

提示：speak loudly；cut in line （插隊(duì)）；waste food；unfriendly （冷漠的）；offer no help …

要求：

1.參考提示語(yǔ)，可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮；

2.語(yǔ)句通順，意思連貫，書寫工整；

3.文中不得出現(xiàn)真實(shí)姓名和地名；

4.詞數(shù)：不少于80詞。（開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，但不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。）

In our daily life， I usually see some bad behavior around us. For example，

I think if everyone can think more of others， well have a better living environment.

【范文賞析】

In our daily life， I usually see some bad behavior around us. For example， I often hear people speak and laugh loudly in public. It is too noisy. Some people cut in line while others are waiting. It makes me unhappy. And in our school dining hall， I often see students waste food. At times， people seem unfriendly and offer no help when others are in trouble. For me， my parents are strict with me. They often tell me to behave well. So I never drop litter about. And I never draw on the desk or on the wall. I am polite to old people. I am learning to do better in the future.

I think if everyone can think more of others， well have a better living environment.

【寫作分析】

這個(gè)題目密切聯(lián)系了社會(huì)核心價(jià)值觀，如果沒有限定內(nèi)容，題目就很大，不好把握。我們?cè)谏钪锌吹降牟涣棘F(xiàn)象很多，但不一定能表達(dá)出來。因此，題目適當(dāng)給出一些英文提示，不僅降低了寫作難度，而且有效限定了表達(dá)范圍，同時(shí)也給予學(xué)生一定的發(fā)揮空間。此類題目中提示情境的方法有很多，如圖畫、表格、漢語(yǔ)等。

（三）走向開放型寫作題

【真題鏈接1】

（2014年河南卷）你身邊的每個(gè)人對(duì)你來說都具有特殊的意義。請(qǐng)以“My special ”為題用英語(yǔ)寫一篇短文，描述你家庭的某個(gè)成員或你的朋友、老師、同學(xué)等。

要求：

1.在題目空格處填入你要描述的對(duì)象，如grandma，teacher 或friend等；

2.文中不得出現(xiàn)真實(shí)姓名和學(xué)校名稱；

3.80詞左右。

My special

【范文賞析】

My special grandma

My grandma is special to me because were like friends. She always helps me out whenever I am in trouble. There are no secrets between us.

When I am with my grandma， we spend a lot of happy time together. I know my grandma is very smart because she seems to know everything. My grandma is good at many things. One thing that shes best at is cooking. She often cooks delicious food for me. I know my grandma loves me and I love her as well.

【真題鏈接2】

（2014年上海卷）Write about at least 60 words about the topic “This time next year” （以“明年此時(shí)”為題寫一篇不少于60詞的短文，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)不占格）

你是否想象過，明年此時(shí)，你的生活會(huì)發(fā)生怎樣的變化？你對(duì)自己或他人有怎樣的期待？你能為他做些什么？

（注意：短文中不得出現(xiàn)任何人名、校名及其他相關(guān)信息，否則不予評(píng)分。）

The following sentence patterns are for reference only.（以下句型僅供參考）

☆I(lǐng) hope to / I hope that …

☆Perhaps I will …

☆I(lǐng)t will be exciting / necessary / terribleto …

【范文賞析】

This is something that often comes to my mind—this time next year. I hope that I will be able to travel with my parents at this time next year. They have done so much for me during my junior middle school life. It is time for me to do something in return. Perhaps I will do better in school to make them feel more proud of me， and to give them more free time to exercise and to enjoy their own life. It will be exciting for me to see them live a happy life and for them to see me learn well and play well.

【寫作分析】

中考英語(yǔ)寫作試題從嚴(yán)格限定到半開放，正在逐步向全開放題型過渡，2014年的河南卷和上海卷就是典型代表。這種命題形式給學(xué)生極大的發(fā)揮和想象的空間，他們可以根據(jù)自己的生活體驗(yàn)和英語(yǔ)水平選擇自己能夠表達(dá)的內(nèi)容，有利于不同層次的學(xué)生的水平展示。因?yàn)檫@種開放性試題能打開學(xué)生的寫作思路，使他們寫出真正的美文，也正是基于這個(gè)因素，上海卷并沒有給出參考答案。

（四）限定型與開放型相結(jié)合的寫作題

【真題鏈接】

（2014年龍東卷）81.假如你叫Bill，昨天游泳后患了感冒，今天早上覺得頭疼。媽媽給你量了體溫后，發(fā)現(xiàn)你發(fā)燒，便帶你去看醫(yī)生。醫(yī)生說你需要臥床休息兩天，特向老師請(qǐng)假。請(qǐng)給老師寫一張請(qǐng)假條。

June 12th， 2014

Dear Mrs. White，

Im sorry to tell you that I cant go to school today.

With best wishes.

Your student，

Bill

【范文賞析】

June 12th， 2014

Dear Mrs. White，

Im sorry to tell you that I cant go to school today. Ive caught a cold because I swam yesterday.

This morning I had a headache. After taking my temperature， my mother found that I had a high fever. Immediately she took me to see a doctor， who advised me to stay in bed for 2 days. Now I am writing to you to ask for 2 days sick leave.

With best wishes.

Your student，

Bill

82.（A） 話題作文：即將到來的假期，你打算怎樣度過呢？是去旅游，去放松玩樂還是去做一些其他有意義的事情？請(qǐng)以“Doing something in summer holiday”為題寫一篇英語(yǔ)短文，談?wù)勀愕南敕?。（提示：先將題目補(bǔ)充完整，可用meaningful，relaxing，interesting等。）

（B）圖示作文：仔細(xì)觀察下列三幅圖片，展開合理想象，寫一篇短文。

grandfathers well fathers well sons well

提示詞：rope 繩子；broadcast 宣傳；call on 號(hào)召；make contributions to 為……做出貢獻(xiàn)

要求：

1.話題作文或圖示作文任選其一；

2.詞數(shù)在80與100詞之間；

3.要求字跡工整，語(yǔ)法正確，意思連貫，合乎邏輯，可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮。

【范文賞析】

A

Doing something meaningful in summer holiday

Its important to do something meaningful in summer holiday.

I can do many things to help others as well as to improve myself. Maybe I can work as a volunteer to help more people. For example I can go to see old people in old peoples home. It will be a wonderful thing if I talk with them and bring laughter to them. Of course， I will meet many new people and make friends with them during my meaningful holidays. Besides， I can read some books to open my mind and learn some new things at the same time. All the good and meaningful things Ive done in the holiday can make me a better person.

Make a good plan for your summer holiday and do something meaningful.

B

Saving water

By watching the three pictures above， we can see that there is less and less underground water as the rope of the well becomes longer and longer.

We all know that water is important for us. We cant live without it. But we are short of drinking water now. As middle school students， what should we do to save water？

First， we are supposed to volunteer to broadcast the importance of saving water to the public.Its necessary for us to call on people to savewater.

Second， we should do everything we can in our daily life. For example， we must turn off the tap as soon as we finish using it. After washing vegetables， we can use it to water the flowers. After washing faces， its better to use it to clean the floor.

In a word， everyone should make contributions to saving water so that we wont see that the last drop of water is our tears.

Lets work together to save water！

【寫作分析】

這是一種形式多樣的寫作新題型：第一題要求寫一篇內(nèi)容嚴(yán)格限定的請(qǐng)假條；第二題則提供了兩個(gè)開放型題目供學(xué)生選擇。

二、分析失分因素

（一）心理因素

許多學(xué)生一看到寫作題，心理上就會(huì)有恐懼感，無從下手，認(rèn)為自己寫漢語(yǔ)作文都有點(diǎn)語(yǔ)無倫次，又怎么能寫好英語(yǔ)作文呢？其實(shí)根本就沒有必要擔(dān)心。英語(yǔ)作文目前還是以限定型作文為主，即使是開放型的命題，也會(huì)限定自由發(fā)揮的空間。

（二）不良習(xí)慣

由于寫作文耗費(fèi)的時(shí)間較多，因此教師平時(shí)布置給學(xué)生的寫作題也就相對(duì)較少。很多學(xué)生平時(shí)懶得寫，沒能養(yǎng)成良好的審題、構(gòu)思、布局、書寫等習(xí)慣，因而失去學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)的原動(dòng)力，錯(cuò)過提高寫作能力的最佳時(shí)期。

（三）語(yǔ)言能力

學(xué)生的語(yǔ)言能力決定著學(xué)習(xí)狀態(tài)和學(xué)習(xí)效果，而語(yǔ)言能力是由學(xué)生的基礎(chǔ)知識(shí)、思維習(xí)慣以及漢語(yǔ)知識(shí)等綜合形成的。由于語(yǔ)言能力的差異，寫英語(yǔ)作文時(shí)往往會(huì)出現(xiàn)以下問題：

1.時(shí)態(tài)誤用

漢語(yǔ)寫作不需要考慮時(shí)態(tài)，而英語(yǔ)寫作是必須要注意這方面的，時(shí)態(tài)的變化又是通過動(dòng)詞的變化表現(xiàn)出來的。學(xué)生首先要審題，確定用什么時(shí)態(tài)，然后仔細(xì)注意動(dòng)詞的變化，才能減少不必要的錯(cuò)誤。例如，2014年上海卷的題目是“This time next year”，就定調(diào)了用一般將來時(shí)；2014年廣州卷的題目要求寫上周六的“Guangzhou Culture Festival”，就定調(diào)了用一般過去時(shí)。

2.漢語(yǔ)式英語(yǔ)

由于受漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)習(xí)慣的影響，再加上對(duì)英語(yǔ)句子結(jié)構(gòu)掌握不牢固，學(xué)生在寫作時(shí)經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)漢語(yǔ)式英語(yǔ)等錯(cuò)誤表達(dá)。如果先寫出一個(gè)句子的主語(yǔ)、謂語(yǔ)和賓語(yǔ)，再考慮把其他句子成分放在恰當(dāng)?shù)奈恢?，就能讓錯(cuò)誤率降到最低。

3.邏輯錯(cuò)誤

很多學(xué)生習(xí)慣根據(jù)提示順序按部就班地寫作文，這樣當(dāng)然不會(huì)出什么大問題。但有時(shí)候題目所給提示信息較少，如果我們不厘清思路，就會(huì)亂寫一氣。要寫出精彩之作，就必須在寫作之前構(gòu)思一下先寫什么，后寫什么，哪些內(nèi)容應(yīng)該詳寫，哪些內(nèi)容應(yīng)該略寫。這樣才能使整篇文章邏輯清晰，層次清楚，中心突出。

4.拼寫錯(cuò)誤

記憶單詞是英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)中的最大困難之一。從理論上講，義務(wù)教育階段經(jīng)過小學(xué)四年和初中三年的學(xué)習(xí)，記住《英語(yǔ)課程標(biāo)準(zhǔn)》要求掌握的1，500至1，600個(gè)單詞是絕對(duì)沒問題的。然而實(shí)際情況卻沒這么樂觀，記不住或懶得記單詞的大有人在，這些學(xué)生在寫作文時(shí)就面臨“巧婦難為無米之炊”的窘境。

5.缺少銜接

在寫作文時(shí)要注意上下文的邏輯關(guān)系，做到句子之間和段落之間要自然地銜接和過渡，否則文章就缺乏連貫性，影響信息的傳遞和表達(dá)效果。

三、寫作練習(xí)

（一）根據(jù)中文和英文提示，寫一封意思連貫、符合邏輯、不少于50詞的回信。信的開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，其詞數(shù)不計(jì)入所完成的回信內(nèi)。所給英文提示詞語(yǔ)僅供選用。請(qǐng)不要寫出你的校名和姓名。

假如你叫李華，最近和美國(guó)朋友Jim通過郵件談?wù)摳髯缘男@生活，他想了解在學(xué)校里你最喜歡哪位教師。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)他的問題回復(fù)郵件。

提示詞語(yǔ)：love；hardworking；patient；encourage； tell

To Jim

From Li Hua

Subject My favourite teacher

Hi！ Jim，

Im glad to hear from you.

Yours，

Li Hua

（二）越來越多的學(xué)生都過早地戴上了眼鏡。6月6日是“愛眼日”。請(qǐng)你結(jié)合生活實(shí)際寫一篇題目為“How to protect our eyes”的征文稿。

內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)包括：

1.眼睛的重要性；

2.保護(hù)眼睛的措施：

（1）不要長(zhǎng)時(shí)間看書報(bào)；

（2）堅(jiān)持做眼保健操；

（3）……

要求：

1.包含所給要點(diǎn)，并自擬一條建議；

2.詞數(shù)60～80。

How to protect our eyes

（三）你即將升入高中，面臨寄宿（a boarding school）和走讀（a day school）兩類學(xué)校的選擇。請(qǐng)你以“A boarding school or a day school？”為標(biāo)題，寫一篇 80～120 詞的短文。

內(nèi)容須包括：

1.讀寄宿學(xué)校的利和弊各一點(diǎn)；

2.讀走讀學(xué)校的利和弊各一點(diǎn)；

3.你的選擇和理由（理由不得與上述兩點(diǎn)內(nèi)容重復(fù)）。

注意：

1.短文必須包括所有要點(diǎn)；

2.可根據(jù)內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)適當(dāng)添加有關(guān)細(xì)節(jié)，使行文連貫；

3.書寫規(guī)范，卷面整潔。

（四）Write at least 60 words on the topic “Id like to make feel happy” （以《我想使……高興》為題寫一篇不少于60詞的短文，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)不占格）

（注意：短文中不得出現(xiàn)考生的姓名、校名及其他相關(guān)信息，否則不予評(píng)分。）

Suggested phrases and expressions： not afford to buy sth.；spend … doing sth. with sb.；make ones own present（s）；become healthier

Id like to make feel happy

參考答案：

（一）

Hi！ Jim，

Im glad to hear from you. I love all the teachers in my school. My favorite teacher is Ms. Wang.

She is a hardworking and experienced music teacher. She loves music， she loves her job， and she is always patient with her students.

She encourages me to follow my dream of music. She often tells me the most important thing in our life is to be an honest and responsible person. She says love can make music more beautiful. She has great influence on me， and I want to be a person like her.

Yours，

Li Hua

（二）

How to protect our eyes

Eyes are the windows of our mind. Its time to say goodbye to thick glasses. How to protect our eyes？

Its not right to keep your eyes working for a long time. Youd better not read in a strong or poor light. Dont read in bed or on a moving bus. Remember to keep your books away from your eyes for about a foot and do eyeexercises every day. Whats more， a balanced diet is necessary.

（三）

We are going to graduate from our middle school， and we will make a choice to enter a boarding school， or a day school. Both kinds of schools have their advantages and disadvantages.

If we choose a boarding school， we will save more time to study. However we may have less time staying with our family. If we choose a day school， parents can know more of our studies. At the same time， computer games may take a bad influence on us.

As for me， I prefer a boarding school. We should concentrate on our study to get good grades in high school.

（四）

Id like to make my parents feel happy

I love my parents. They always try to do what they can to make me happy. Now as Im growing older， its my turn to do something for them. Thanksgiving Day is coming. Though I can not afford to buy them an expensive gift， I am going to cook some delicious food for them and spend the whole day with them telling them all about how I am going on. Ill take them to the park and exercise with them. In this way I can make them happier and healthier.