校園惡作劇

Kelly： Guess what day it is tomorrow！

Zach： Opening Day around baseball. I’ve been waiting all winter to see Matt Harvey 1）pitch again for the Mets. Kelly： No， I’m not talking about America’s 2）pastime. I mean the world’s prank time！

Zach： Oh， right. It’s that time again， isn’t it？ ①Are you girls gonna be seeking revenge for how bad we got you last year？

Kelly： As a matter of fact， we’ve been planning our revenge since April 2nd last year. And I’m 100% confident that no matter how prepared you guys think you are， when it happens， you won’t know what hit you. Zach： Aww…It’s so cute that you think that. But you do realize that I am the 3）preeminent prank master here at Pennsylvania Polytechnic.

Kelly： I do realize that you think you are The Man when it comes to playing tricks， but your arrogance will be your 4）downfall young Jedi.

Zach： You think you can possibly top the oatmeal lake with a floating canoe in your bathroom？ I will never forget your guys’ faces when that door opened and the opera started playing and the boat came rushing out into the 5）hallway. 6）Priceless.

Kelly： And who can forget the dead fish you hid under our sofa. We didn’t find that thing for weeks.

Zach： You ladies did get us with a couple of small ones， like the 7）lubed up 8）doorknobs， expired milk in the fridge…

Kelly： Yeah， but we were obviously 9）bested by the 10）almighty men of dorm D.

Zach： Well， we studied the best university party movies of all time， like Animal House， Van Wilder， Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Those 11）flicks have endless material to draw from.

Kelly： Oh， I remember the Van Wilder one. Please don’t use that dog poop prank. It was so disgusting！ I almost threw up when I saw that.

Zach： Yeah. That’s a line even we couldn’t cross， so don’t worry about it. As usual， the pranks will all be in good fun， with nothing too 12）meanspirited.

Kelly： That’s a deal！

Zach： Alright. I’ve gotta go finish up a paper for Hendricks’class tomorrow. ②I’ll see ya bright and early， and let the pranks begin！ Bye！

Kelly： See ya tomorrow！ （quietly） And your head will be a lot chillier， after you use your new shampoo with hair remover mixed in. Take that， you soon-to-be bald April Fool. ③I guess revenge is a dish best served cold…Hwahahahaha.

凱莉：猜猜明天是什么日子！

扎克：棒球賽的開幕式。我等了整整一個冬天就是為了看到馬特·哈維再次為紐約大都會棒球隊投球。

凱莉：不，我不是在說美國的消遣節(jié)目。我是說全世界的惡作劇時間。

扎克：噢，沒錯。愚人節(jié)又到了，不是嗎？你們女生打算找機(jī)會報復(fù)我們?nèi)ツ陮δ銈兊氖箟膯幔?/p>

凱莉：事實(shí)上，我們從去年4月2日以來一直在籌劃我們的復(fù)仇計劃。而且無論你們男生認(rèn)為自己做了多充足的準(zhǔn)備，一旦事情發(fā)生，我百分之百肯定你們不會知道發(fā)生了什么。

扎克：啊……你那樣想太可愛了，但你要意識到我是賓西法尼亞理工學(xué)院最厲害的惡作劇之王。

凱莉：我知道當(dāng)說到玩惡作劇，你自認(rèn)為自己是最厲害的，但是你的自大將是你垮臺的原因，年輕的絕地武士（Jedi是電影《星球大戰(zhàn)》中的虛幻角色）。

扎克：你以為你可能超越那個在你們的浴室形成的燕麥湖上漂浮著一條小船的惡作劇嗎？當(dāng)浴室門一打開，戲劇性的一幕上演了，那條小船沖出了走廊，我永遠(yuǎn)無法忘記你們臉上的神情。太搞笑了。

凱莉：而且誰能忘記你們藏在我們沙發(fā)底下的死魚，我們幾個星期都沒發(fā)現(xiàn)。扎克：你們女生也確實(shí)用幾個小惡作劇捉弄了我們，比如涂滿潤滑油的門把手、冰箱里過期的牛奶……

凱莉：沒錯，但我們明顯被D宿舍的全能男生打敗了。

扎克：嗯，我們研究過有史以來最好的大學(xué)群體惡作劇的電影，比如《動物屋》、《留級之王》和《尋堡奇遇》。那些電影有著取之不盡的素材。

凱莉：噢，我記得《留級之王》那部。請不要再玩那狗屎惡作劇了，太惡心了！我看的時候幾乎要吐了。

扎克：是的。我們不會做得那么過分的，所以不用擔(dān)心。跟往常一樣，惡作劇就是為了好玩，不會有太卑鄙的行徑。

凱莉：一言為定！

扎克：好的。我得去完成亨德里克斯明天課堂的論文。我們一大早見，然后開始玩惡作劇！再見！

凱莉：明天見?。ㄇ那牡兀┑饶阌昧嘶煊忻摪l(fā)劑的新洗發(fā)水后，你的腦袋將會更加涼颼颼的。中我這一招，你很快就會成為愚人節(jié)禿子。我想君子報仇十年未晚……哈哈哈哈哈。

Smart Sentences

① Are you girls gonna be seeking revenge for how bad we got you last year？ 你們女生打算找機(jī)會報復(fù)我們?nèi)ツ陮δ銈兊氖箟膯幔?/p>

seek revenge for…： try to hurt or punish sb. for how they hurt or harmed you（試圖向曾經(jīng)傷害你的人報復(fù)）。例如：

Ever since he was out of jail， Adam has sought revenge for what he believed to be an injustice done to him for being thrown into jail.

亞當(dāng)自從出獄以來，就一直找機(jī)會報復(fù)，因?yàn)樗嘈抛约罕慌腥氇z是不公平的。

② I’ll see ya bright and early， and let the pranks begin！ 我們一大早見，然后開始玩惡作?。?/p>

bright and early： very early in the morning（一大早）。例如：You’ll have to be at the airport bright and early to make that flight.你要一大早趕到機(jī)場才能趕得上那班飛機(jī)。

③ I guess revenge is a dish best served cold… 我想君子報仇十年未晚……

Revenge is a dish best served cold： it is very satisfying to get revenge a long time after the event for which you want revenge， a proverb（君子報仇，十年未晚；諺語）。例如：

I don’t mind waiting to get revenge on Greg； I’ll wait five years if I need to. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

我一點(diǎn)兒都不介意慢慢再對格雷格實(shí)施報復(fù)，有必要的話，五年我都能等。君子報仇，十年未晚。