與人閑聊是技術(shù)活：如何與人閑聊？

How to Make Small

Talk with Others？

Actually making small talk doesnt have to be painful， even if its with a boss you want to impress or blind date you want to see a lot more of！

Believe it or not， making small talk can be fun—even for quiet personality types. Making small talk is also an art that can be learned.

“So… how about this weather？” doesnt often lead to stimulating dialogue （but dont hesitate to use it if youre desperate）. If you must make small talk about the weather， be specific. Say， “Its freezing cold outside—have you ever heard that saying， ‘colder than ________ ？ Where did that come from， anyway？” might work better， depending on who youre talking to.

Making small talk can be difficult even if youre an extrovert， but its especially difficult for introverts. Here are 10 tips for starting conversations with people you dont know.

Keep up with current events. Make small talk about the news， sports， your community.

與時(shí)俱進(jìn)，跟上時(shí)事?？梢蚤e聊當(dāng)下的新聞、（流行的）運(yùn)動(dòng)、你的社區(qū)。

Comment on a piece of clothing or accessory. Ask where it came from， what the significance is， and how much it cost （just kidding）. Making small talk is about being observant about people you dont know well.

適度地贊揚(yáng)對(duì)方的衣服或者小裝飾品?？梢詥?wèn)對(duì)方是哪兒買的、為什么買、多少錢（開(kāi)個(gè)玩笑）之類的。閑聊就是善于觀察你不熟悉的人。

Pay attention to what theyre saying. When youre making small talk， follow up on phrases. For instance， if they say “theyre excellent”， ask “why” or “where you can get some”. If they mention that theyre exhausted， follow up on it. When youre making small talk， remember that great conversations and good connections can be just around the corner.

善于傾聽(tīng)。在閑聊時(shí)，要時(shí)刻表現(xiàn)出對(duì)對(duì)方話題的關(guān)注和興趣。舉個(gè)例子吧，如果對(duì)方說(shuō)“他們簡(jiǎn)直太棒了”，你就接著問(wèn)“為什么”或者問(wèn)“到哪兒才能嘗試下這些很棒的東西”。如果對(duì)方說(shuō)很累，同樣地就“累”這個(gè)話題發(fā)揮下去。請(qǐng)記住，當(dāng)你閑聊的時(shí)候，成功的交談和良好關(guān)系的建立其實(shí)很簡(jiǎn)單，沒(méi)你想得那么遙不可及。

Share an anecdote about your day. Did you lose your keys or find $10？ Maybe you ate at a new restaurant recently， or found a great new CD. Making small talk is about sharing the little things.

分享你生活中的一些瑣碎小事。你丟了鑰匙或撿到了10美金嗎？或許是你最近發(fā)現(xiàn)一家新餐館，或一張很棒的新CD之類。閑聊就是分享瑣碎小事。

Ask what movies or books theyve seen or read recently.Someone was once asked about that at a party. Admittedly， at first it felt contrived， but then they had a fantastic conversation about the book he was reading！ Making small talk is about trying new conversations.

問(wèn)問(wèn)對(duì)方近期看了什么電影或讀了什么書(shū)。有人曾經(jīng)在聚會(huì)上被問(wèn)過(guò)類似的問(wèn)題。無(wú)可否認(rèn)，剛開(kāi)始聽(tīng)到這個(gè)問(wèn)題時(shí)覺(jué)得對(duì)方很做作，可接下來(lái)關(guān)于他最近在讀的書(shū)的話題卻讓他們都意猶未盡，十分開(kāi)心。閑聊就是要嘗試新的話題。

Talk about TV. Share your favourite TV shows—whether its Oprahs revelation or your favorite sitcom. Making small talk about pop culture is easy and fun.

一起聊聊電視劇。和對(duì)方分享你最喜歡的電視節(jié)目——無(wú)論是關(guān)于奧普拉脫口秀，抑或是你最喜歡的情景喜劇。閑聊一些流行文化是既輕松又有趣的。

Ask open-ended questions that require an explanation. For instance， “How are you？” isnt as effective as “Whatever happened with you and ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ？ How were you dealing with？” （“ ? ? ? ? ? ? ?” could be a business deal， family problem， or financial investment.） Remember that anything is a potential topic of conversation.You can even talk about how uncomfortable you are making small talk—and ask them how they do it.

問(wèn)一些需要得到解釋的開(kāi)放性問(wèn)題。例如：“你好嗎？”就沒(méi)有“你和 ? ? ? ? 到底怎么了？你處理得怎么樣了？”有效。（“ ? ? ? ? ? ”可以是生意合作、家庭問(wèn)題、理財(cái)投資等等。）記住，任何事情都可以成為潛在的交談話題。你甚至可以談?wù)撆c人閑聊時(shí)你有多不自在——問(wèn)問(wèn)對(duì)方是怎么做到的？

其實(shí)，閑聊不一定是件痛苦的事，即便對(duì)方是你期待能對(duì)你留下好印象的老板，抑或是你希望能多見(jiàn)面的相親對(duì)象。

信不信由你，閑聊也可以變得很有趣——即便是對(duì)性格比較安靜的人而言。閑聊也是一門可以學(xué)習(xí)的藝術(shù)。

“那么……今天天氣如何？” 這樣的開(kāi)場(chǎng)白很難引出使人興奮的對(duì)話（但是，如果你很急切地要找一個(gè)對(duì)話的切入點(diǎn)，那不妨先將就著用這句話吧）。如果你必須以天氣作為開(kāi)場(chǎng)白來(lái)閑聊，那就盡量來(lái)點(diǎn)特殊的方式。比如說(shuō)：“外面簡(jiǎn)直冷得刺骨呀——你有聽(tīng)過(guò)這么一句話嗎，‘比______還冷？這話到底是誰(shuí)說(shuō)的來(lái)著？”用這種方式，效果也許會(huì)好得多，這也取決于你是在和誰(shuí)說(shuō)話。

即使你是外向的人，閑聊也不是件容易的事，但對(duì)于內(nèi)向的人而言它更難。以下的10個(gè)小貼士教你如何與陌生人交談：

Recall your past conversations with the same person. Ask if their son is still ill or how the holiday went. Making small talk is easier when your memory is good.

聊聊以前你們聊過(guò)的事。問(wèn)問(wèn)對(duì)方的兒子是不是還病著或者這個(gè)假日是怎么度過(guò)的？當(dāng)你記性好時(shí)，閑聊會(huì)更簡(jiǎn)單。

Relax. Enjoy yourself.People are interesting！ If you combine these tips for making small talk with sincere interest， youll embark on a fascinating conversational ride.

放松。享受聊天的過(guò)程。人都是很有趣！如果你綜合以上的小貼士，帶著真誠(chéng)的興趣與別人閑聊，那么你將登上一個(gè)令人著迷的會(huì)話旅程。

Let it go. If the conversation feels like dragging a piano uphill then it may be time to move on or let silence take over. You cant connect with everyone. Making small talk involves knowing when its time to move on.

順其自然。如果你們的交談感覺(jué)像是硬要把鋼琴拖到山頂，那么也許是時(shí)候進(jìn)行新的話題了，或者什么都別說(shuō)讓沉默來(lái)接班。你不可能和每個(gè)人都聊得順暢開(kāi)心。閑聊包含知道它什么時(shí)候進(jìn)入下一個(gè)話題。