留學(xué)文書寫作方法之如何表現(xiàn)出自信

在前幾期文章里，我們談到過寫留學(xué)文書切忌高調(diào)（即自我表揚(yáng)），不要把自己塑造成“高大上”的形象。要知道，這種自我表揚(yáng)的做法既不可取又不高明，因?yàn)椤伴喨藷o數(shù)”的招生官一眼就能看出文書里哪些是“干貨”，哪些是隨意夸大的內(nèi)容。在某種程度上，自我表揚(yáng)其實(shí)是在貶低自己，可能會(huì)給人留下膚淺和浮夸的印象。不過，申請(qǐng)者也不能過于低調(diào)，沒有必要連得了全國奧數(shù)競(jìng)賽第一名也歸功于運(yùn)氣。那么，在寫留學(xué)文書時(shí)，申請(qǐng)者到底要怎樣做，才能做到既不張揚(yáng)又不過于低調(diào)呢？答案是兩個(gè)字：自信。這里所謂的自信，說得通俗一點(diǎn)，就是申請(qǐng)者在文書中要表現(xiàn)得不卑不亢，落落大方。但更精確地說，其實(shí)是“不卑但稍微有點(diǎn)亢”。

那么，要怎樣做到“自信”呢？筆者建議申請(qǐng)者從兩個(gè)角度入手：一是內(nèi)容，二是表達(dá)。內(nèi)容指申請(qǐng)者突出的成績(jī)，與眾不同的經(jīng)歷，對(duì)自己的家庭、學(xué)校、社區(qū)、種族、文化等持有的獨(dú)特觀點(diǎn)等。簡(jiǎn)而言之，申請(qǐng)者在學(xué)習(xí)、工作或生活中與眾不同的經(jīng)歷等素材是值得大書特書的。那么，要怎么書呢？這就牽涉到第二個(gè)問題——表達(dá)。申請(qǐng)者在表達(dá)想要說的內(nèi)容時(shí)，要掌握一個(gè)原則：對(duì)所敘述的事情進(jìn)行獨(dú)立、客觀、正面的思考。有些申請(qǐng)者在文書中經(jīng)常就中美在經(jīng)濟(jì)、文化、科研、教育、價(jià)值觀等方面進(jìn)行比較，得出的結(jié)論往往是“中國在這些方面還很落后，因此，我希望去美國學(xué)習(xí)先進(jìn)的科學(xué)文化知識(shí)”。從某種角度看，這確實(shí)是事實(shí)。但是，申請(qǐng)者也沒有必要一味地去揭自己的短處，要做到伸縮有度。

案例分析

下面我們通過兩個(gè)真實(shí)案例來談?wù)勗谖臅鴮懽髦腥绾巫龅阶孕拧?/p>

文書案例1

首先，我們來看一位多次借讀、轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)的申請(qǐng)者提供的文書原稿，大致內(nèi)容如下：

從小到大，由于父親工作的關(guān)系，我隨他從溫州到上海、北京，到杭州再回北京。期間，我借讀、轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)的學(xué)校超過十所。到北京我讀的是私立學(xué)校，它一年的學(xué)費(fèi)是公立學(xué)校的七倍，但是學(xué)校的設(shè)施齊全，校風(fēng)開放。在這里，學(xué)校提供了200多種選修課程，從針織到表演無所不包，我選修了攝影和心理學(xué)。自由的學(xué)習(xí)氛圍使我的興趣變得廣泛，同時(shí)也開闊了我的視野，但是我付出了代價(jià)：我雖然可以在北京參加中考，但因?yàn)槭峭獾厣?，高中后依舊不能讀北京公立學(xué)校。而如果我繼續(xù)讀私立高中，將不能在北京參加高考。于是我回到浙江，進(jìn)入了公立學(xué)校。在這里，高考競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈，成績(jī)就是一切，我無法在這樣的環(huán)境中脫穎而出。跟隨父親“四處漂泊”的生活讓我與所到之處的發(fā)展和變化息息相關(guān)，但是這些地方容不了我。

中文原稿向我們描述了“我”從小跟隨爸爸從一個(gè)城市遷移到另一個(gè)城市，后來因在北京無法參加高考回浙江讀書，但回去后又無法適應(yīng)當(dāng)?shù)貙W(xué)習(xí)氛圍的尷尬境地。申請(qǐng)者在文書結(jié)尾也想要表達(dá)自己生活經(jīng)歷的好的一方面，但是卻點(diǎn)不出來它好在哪里，全文彌漫著一股“悲壯”的情緒，更多的是“我”對(duì)自己輾轉(zhuǎn)各地的無奈。殊不知，在西方國家，尤其是在美國這個(gè)“車輪上的國家”（the country on the wheels），搬遷（relocation）是一件司空見慣的事情。在美國文化里，relocation這個(gè)詞毫無貶義色彩，人的流動(dòng)性（mobility）是一個(gè)亮點(diǎn)。

因此，我們建議申請(qǐng)者在文書中加入以下內(nèi)容：“我”沒有因自己的經(jīng)歷而郁郁寡歡，在多次的搬遷中，“我”的閱歷豐富了，適應(yīng)能力變強(qiáng)了，思考問題的方式也變得成熟了。同時(shí)，搬遷又給“我”難得的機(jī)會(huì)去深入觀察不同地區(qū)的人和事，從而讓我對(duì)事物有了更深刻的思考，這又和“我”想申請(qǐng)學(xué)社會(huì)學(xué)專業(yè)有了聯(lián)系。對(duì)“我”而言，除了在學(xué)校接受的傳統(tǒng)教育，搬遷可以說是“我”在生活中接受的另一種教育，而且是非常有益和有趣的“教育”。全中國有難以計(jì)數(shù)的學(xué)校，但是幾乎沒有一所能夠?yàn)樵谛W(xué)生提供如此寶貴的教育機(jī)會(huì)，而“我”卻得到了。

如此一來，申請(qǐng)者的自信便在字里行間展露無遺，同時(shí)既沒有自夸，也沒有自卑，給讀者留下的是自信的形象。請(qǐng)看以下參考范文：

Chinas Imperial examination system， called the keju， began in about 200 B.C. and lasted 2，000 plus years. It was an official method for recruiting bureaucrats. While the system was laudably intended to ensure that appointment as a government official was based on merit and not on favoritism or heredity， the topics candidates were tested on centered around poetry and Confucian classics and had nothing to do with leadership or problem-solving skills necessary to tackle the political， economic， legal， diplomatic and social issues of the time. They had nothing to do with science and technology， because science and technology as a concept or an academic discipline did not exist. The system itself was far removed from the realities of everyday life. The keju was abolished in 1905， but its influence was vast. Many other countries， such as Japan， Korea and Vietnam， followed Chinas example at one point or other.

Even to this day， a student in China， much like the candidates of the keju， is judged almost exclusively by grades and academic achievements. When I told my friends and teachers that I excelled in photography or that I took an elective class on psychology， their typical response was that those were not going to get me into college because they were not subject areas being tested. There is something that makes me stand out wherever I go： my fathers legal profession requires that he move frequently. As a result， I have moved from one city to another and have transferred from one school to another， no fewer than ten times. I have seen South China and North China and I have seen coastal cities on the east and landlocked cities on the west. Not only have I seen these places， I have lived in them for an extended period of time， long enough to observe the geographic， linguistic， ethnic and social diversity and to be able to compare and contrast levels of economic development and cost of living and to analyze and critique numerous social issues either limited to a location or commonly applied to all. I know my relocation experiences and my social observations and interpersonal skills and unique perspectives developed as a result of my migration do not seem to count for much in the Chinese educational environment. However， I do believe that this is a part of my education， and a very important and valuable part too.

I should consider myself fortunate because each time we move my father always wants to make sure that I go to the best school there and that my academics do not get disrupted. On my part， I succeeded in assuring him that I could handle frequent transitions well and that I could survive and thrive anywhere I go. As I contemplate on my biggest relocation ever—going overseas for my college education—I have to thank my father for having prepared me over and over again for the life of a sojourner.

評(píng)析：在參考范文中，申請(qǐng)者一改中文原稿中的悲觀情緒，把敘述重點(diǎn)放在自己的經(jīng)歷所帶來的好處上：獨(dú)立的思考能力、強(qiáng)大的適應(yīng)能力、豐富的人文地理知識(shí)。另外，申請(qǐng)者還提到中國從科舉制到現(xiàn)在的高考向來只看重成績(jī)，而他本人卻深知自己的獨(dú)特經(jīng)歷很有價(jià)值，對(duì)學(xué)習(xí)社會(huì)學(xué)也有幫助。我們相信，這樣的申請(qǐng)者會(huì)受到美國招生官的青睞。

文書案例2

接下來，我們?cè)倏匆晃蛔哉J(rèn)為各方面都不如人的申請(qǐng)者提供的文書原稿，大致內(nèi)容如下：

“這孩子怎么這么笨！”小時(shí)候，我有時(shí)會(huì)聽到家人這么評(píng)價(jià)我。我媽媽說我小時(shí)候?qū)W會(huì)走路和騎自行車都比同齡的孩子晚。小學(xué)時(shí)，班里的同學(xué)都會(huì)認(rèn)鐘表，而我學(xué)了好幾個(gè)晚上才學(xué)會(huì)；學(xué)算術(shù)，我加減乘除混合算式總是搞不清。學(xué)小提琴，我考中央音樂學(xué)院六級(jí)，考了四次才通過。家人的評(píng)價(jià)讓我很不舒服，但是也讓我明白自己不是那種新東西一學(xué)就會(huì)的“聰明人”。我知道自己要笨鳥先飛，我相信勤能補(bǔ)拙。在學(xué)習(xí)方面，我會(huì)在下課后比別人多花時(shí)間去思考，多做一些題以鞏固知識(shí)點(diǎn)。小提琴方面，我給自己規(guī)定每天比別人多練兩個(gè)小時(shí)。就這樣，我各方面都發(fā)生了好的轉(zhuǎn)變。學(xué)習(xí)成績(jī)大有進(jìn)步，小提琴方面開始獲得一些獎(jiǎng)項(xiàng)。家人對(duì)我的評(píng)價(jià)一直刺激著我，使我在人生任何一段旅程上都會(huì)確定一個(gè)目標(biāo)，并去長期努力。一路前行。

美國學(xué)校希望學(xué)生對(duì)自我有正面的認(rèn)識(shí)，不要因?yàn)樵谀撤矫娌蝗缛硕员?，要看到自己身上的閃光點(diǎn)：也許你沒有數(shù)學(xué)天分，但小提琴拉得好，有音樂天賦；也許你不善言談，但是有體育方面的特長；也許你學(xué)習(xí)不好，但是人緣好，有領(lǐng)導(dǎo)才能，等等。對(duì)于孩子的成果，美國的父母總是會(huì)對(duì)孩子說：“Excellent.”而中國的孩子沒這么幸運(yùn)，他們往往是在批評(píng)聲中長大的，就像本文中的“我”。

所以，我們建議申請(qǐng)者換個(gè)角度寫。我們讓他不要采用妄自菲薄的方式講述自己笨鳥先飛的成長經(jīng)歷，而是表明自己很欣賞美國以激勵(lì)為主的教育方式，同時(shí)對(duì)中國以批評(píng)為主的教育方式也不持否定態(tài)度——申請(qǐng)者比較真實(shí)地說出了自己以后很有可能在兩種文化中吸取養(yǎng)分，會(huì)選擇比較折中的方式方法。請(qǐng)看以下參考范文：

Unlike the United States where “wonderful，” “fantastic，” “good job” and “wow” are frequently and generously used as a means to encourage and motivate kids， China does not seem to believe in the value of positive feedback； not to the degree found among Americans anyway. The Chinese culture prefers criticism to praising， especially in parent-child relationships and， to a large extent， in teacher-student relationships as well. I am what Americans would call a late bloomer. According to my mother， I was at least half a year behind other kids my age in learning to walk and several years behind in bicycling. Academically， I was not initially advanced； not at all. I remember other kids in class were able to read clocks， and I could not； they could do mental calculations， and I had to resort to paper and pens. Even in violin， an instrument that I started playing early， I had to repeat the same exam for level 6 four times before I was promoted. I have heard my family members， including my parents， say “Why are you so dumb？！”

This is the type of environment I grew up in. I took it for granted. I never knew there were other ways to prod a child into action， nor did I expect my family or any adults who cared about me to do any differently. I did not like those negative comments， but I managed to cope. While I accepted that I could be slow to start with， I never accepted that I should remain a laggard （落后者）. That was not where I wanted to be. I realized if I put in a little more extra effort and invested a little bit more time， I could catch up， and I did. Not only did I catch up， I became more advanced academically and musically than most of my peers.

In hindsight， negative feedback from my family， my teachers and my friends were not damaging or counterproductive， as some psychologists would say. It could be motivating， in my opinion. I doubt I will use the negative approach myself to my own children or any other kids in the future： not much anyway. But on the other hand， it would be hard for me to give credit when I see no credit is warranted. Id apply compliments sparingly， not lavishly. I am， after all， a product of the culture to which I belong. I can challenge it， I can even deviate （脫離） from it， but I cannot deny its indelible influence on me.

評(píng)析：在參考范文中，申請(qǐng)者能坦然面對(duì)自身笨拙的一面，而且對(duì)成長環(huán)境進(jìn)行客觀分析，有獨(dú)立的思考，并得出自己的結(jié)論，這就是自信的表現(xiàn)。