Why don"t Chinese Families Say"I Love You "?為什么中國家庭說不出“我愛你”?

李雨婕

“I love you” might be one of the most important three-words in the English language. It signs that a romantic relationship is serious, and shows the close relationship of sibling1, parents, or children, it is also a common lyrics2 in pop songs.

“I love you”或許是英語中最重要的三字句之一。它是人們認(rèn)真對待一段戀情的標(biāo)志，同時也能表達(dá)兄弟姐妹、父母和孩子間的親密關(guān)系，它也常常出現(xiàn)在流行歌曲的歌詞里。

In Mandarin, “I love you” means “我愛你” (Wo ai ni), but the way its used in China might be a little different from Western countries, and Chinese media wants to know the reason.

“I love you” 在普通話里表示“我愛你”(Wo ai ni)，但在中國這句話用法有些不同于西方國家，中國媒體也想知道其中的原因。

The Global Times reports two online videos which show that children tell their parents “I love you” and the videos become popular in China. The first video is filmed by an Anhui TV station. It shows many college students telling their parents “I love you”. There are various3 responses from parents. Such as, “Are you drunk?” asked one parent. The second video is shot by a Shanxi TV station. A father even responded— “I am going to a meeting, so cut the crap.”

《環(huán)球時報》報道，兩個記錄了孩子對父母說“我愛你”的視頻，在中國流傳甚廣。其中一個視頻是安徽電視臺拍攝的，它拍下了許多大學(xué)生對父母說“我愛你”時的片段，父母的反應(yīng)各式各樣。比如，其中有一位家長回答“你喝醉了嗎？”另一個視頻是山西電視臺拍攝的，視頻中竟然有一位父親這樣回答——“我要開會，廢話少說?！?/p>

There are only a few positive responses: “I am so happy you called to say that, it is the happiest thing for me in 2014,” one parent answered.

積極的回答只是極少數(shù)，“我真高興聽到你對我說這句話，這是2014年最讓我開心的事?！逼渲幸晃患议L這樣回答。

Why dont Chinese families use those words? It is widely said that Chinese people is influenced by Confucian teaching, or the thought of 20th Century Communism. “The parents responses show that many Chinese are not good at expressing positive4 emotions,” Xia Xueluan, a sociologist from Peking University, told the Global Times. “They are used to teaching children with negative5 language.”

為什么在中國家庭中人們不習(xí)慣說這三個字？人們普遍認(rèn)為這是受儒家思想或20世紀(jì)共產(chǎn)主義思想的影響?！澳切└改傅幕卮鸱从吵鲈S多中國人都不善于表達(dá)積極情感的事實，”北京大學(xué)社會學(xué)家夏學(xué)鑾這樣對《環(huán)球時報》說道，“他們習(xí)慣用消極的語言教育孩子。”

Last year China Daily asked people from some classes if they said ‘I love you to their parents, spouses6, and children. “I have never said ‘I love you to my family, and I dont think I will in the future,” one 56-year-old told the paper. “Saying it aloud is embarrassing7 for me.”

去年《中國日報》在向各階層人士的采訪中詢問他們是否對自己的父母、愛人和孩子說過“我愛你”?！拔覐牟粚胰苏f‘我愛你，我想我以后也不會說。”一個56歲的老先生這樣對《中國日報》說，“說這樣的話會讓我感到難為情?！?/p>

Still, that doesnt mean that love cant be expressed. In another article, China Daily spoke to Zhao Mengmeng, she is a 31-year-old woman and she said she had never told her father she loved him face-to-face (“I think it a little odd”). Sometimes actions speak louder than words, however — Zhao gave her father, a single parent, a photo album8 full of photographs of them together on almost her every birthdays her in June 2012. The pictures went popular and have been forwarded thousands of times on Weibo.

但這并不代表中國人無法表達(dá)愛。在另一篇文章中，《中國日報》采訪了趙萌萌，今年31歲的她說自己從未當(dāng)面對父親說過“我愛你”（“我覺得這有點怪怪的”）。然而，有時行動比語言更有說服力——趙萌萌在2012年6月父親生日當(dāng)天送了他一本相冊，相冊里記錄的都是每年她生日時父女倆一起的合影。照片火遍整個網(wǎng)絡(luò)，在微博上被瘋狂轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)。

“I didnt sleep the night when I knew it,” her father told China Daily after the story got many peoples attention. “I can now remember some of the comment9 under the pictures.”

“當(dāng)我得知這件事后，我徹夜未眠。”在這件事受到很多人的關(guān)注后，她的父親這樣對《中國日報》說，“現(xiàn)在我還能記得一些照片下面的評論?！?/p>