我的中國妻子有點“2”

My Chinese Wife and I recently went to a friend’s house for dinner. They were celebrating their 10 year wedding anniversary， although they lived together for another 5 years prior. Invited that evening were 3 other couples， all doctors and doctors’ wives （2 of the wives were also doctors）.

The couple celebrating their anniversary are a very loving couple， he being a surgeon and she a stay-at-home mother. They are very compatible， although quite different in many respects. Their ongoing adoration of each other is quite 1）palpable， and quite refreshing to experience. During dinner， the conversation naturally turned to the other relationships in the room， and eventually to mine.

I was asked what it was that first attracted me to my wife， and I responded in what is probably a typical male fashion， stuck for words but then falling back on the typical qualities such as sense of humour， looks， emotional connection and a sense of compatibility.

Well， then it was my wife’s turn， and I could hear the whole room quiet down as she was asked what she found most appealing about me when we first met， and what it was that made her consider marrying me.

Naive me， I thought she would say that she thought we were compatible， that I was caring and loving to her needs， that I was a good provider and responsible， and maybe， just maybe that she felt that she loved me.

Instead， my wife responded by saying： “I liked the fact that he was left-handed， and that he had blue eyes and blonde hair. We Chinese admire those physical traits.” When further prompted about the qualities in me that she liked， she continued： “I liked the fact that he was a doctor. I knew that all my friends and extended family would be jealous of me if I married a doctor.”

Everyone at the dinner table smiled， out of politeness I think， but I think my poor wife simply didn’t realise that she was being asked for human qualities， not 2）pragmatic ones.

I tried to interrupt and hopefully change the topic， but I was gently brushed aside， in a helpful and supportive way， by one of the wives sitting beside me， who said to my wife： “Love， what we mean is did you marry him because you thought he would support you through thick and thin， or did you maybe think he would make a great father to your child？”

My wife seemed like she understood， she took a deep breath， smiled and then said： “I thought about what my child would look like if I had a child with him. I wanted my child to have light coloured hair and eyes， and to be a doctor too. I liked him for， how do you say， for his DNA？”

Everyone laughed， I guess because no other response was appropriate， and we simply moved on to other topics.

I felt somewhat embarrassed by my wife’s response， truth be told， but there was a huge language and cultural barrier that made it difficult for her to talk in those terms， so I simply put it aside and tried to forget it.

At work however， I still get a 3）jibe from my colleagues， who while diagnosing a condition for the occasional Chinese female patient， ask me whether I think they have DNA envy， and then they smile and wink.

Yes， it’s funny， and simply part and parcel of a crosscultural relationship.

我和我的中國妻子最近去了一個朋友家中吃晚餐。小兩口正慶祝他們的十周年結婚紀念日，不過，結婚前他們早已同居了五年。那晚獲邀的還有其他三對夫妻，全部都是醫(yī)生夫婦的搭配（其中兩位妻子也是醫(yī)生。）

那對慶祝結婚紀念日的夫婦是一對相當恩愛的夫妻，丈夫是一位外科醫(yī)生，而妻子則是一位全職媽媽。盡管他們在許多方面大相徑庭，但兩人非常匹配。他們彼此之間歷久常新的愛慕顯而易見，旁人看著都覺得新鮮。在晚餐期間，談話自然而然地轉向了房內其他幾對夫婦之間的關系上，而最后說到了我的頭上。

我被問道最初妻子的哪些方面吸引了我，我的反應是男性被問到同樣問題時的典型表現(xiàn)，先是詞窮句蹇，慢慢才想到用比如幽默感、樣貌、情感交流以及契合感之類的典型特質來回應。

好吧，然后輪到我的妻子了。當她被提問的時候，我能聽到整個房間安靜了下來。她被問道當我們初見時我身上最吸引她的是什么，還有是什么讓她決定嫁給我。

我太天真了，我以為她會說覺得我們很般配，我照料呵護她的需求，我是一個好當家且有責任感，還有或許，僅僅是或許，她覺得她愛我。

相反，我的妻子這樣回應說：“我喜歡他是一個左撇子，而且他還有雙藍眼睛和金色頭發(fā)。我們中國人欣賞這些體征。”當妻子被更深地問及她喜歡我身上什么特質時，她繼續(xù)說道：“我喜歡他是一位醫(yī)生。我知道如果我嫁了一位醫(yī)生，我所有的親朋好友都會羨慕我的?！?/p>

餐桌上的每個人都笑了，我想是出于禮貌，但是我覺得我那悲催的妻子只是沒弄明白別人問的是人的品行特質，不是實用資質。

我嘗試插嘴，希望轉移話題，卻被溫柔地撂在一邊，坐在我旁邊的太太團中的一位出口相助，對我的妻子說道：“親愛的，我們的意思是，你嫁給他是因為你覺得他不論順境逆境都支持你呢，還是說，你覺得他當孩子的爸是個不錯的選擇？”

我的妻子似乎弄明白了，她深吸了一口氣，微微一笑，然后說道：“我想過如果我和他生小孩，那孩子會是什么模樣。我希望我的孩子擁有淺色的頭發(fā)和眼睛，長大也成為一名醫(yī)生。我喜歡他是因為，怎么說呢，因為他的DNA？”

每個人都笑了，我猜想是因為沒什么其它反應更合適了，然后我們只能轉移到了其它話題上。

老實說，我妻子的回答多少讓我感到尷尬，但橫亙在語言和文化的鴻溝使得她很難用那種言辭表達，所以我只是把那件事擺在一邊，并試著忘掉。

然而工作時，我仍然會被我的同僚們取笑。當他們偶爾給中國女病人診斷病情時，會問我是否覺得她們有DNA情結，然后他們笑起來，眨起眼睛。

是的，這是挺有趣的，反正就是跨文化婚姻生活中不可或缺的一部分。