Made for Water我的胖姨媽

Mom took me to my Aunt Marilyn's house to be watched while she went to work. I was afraid of that woman， who was larger than anyone is ever supposed to be， and I cried the entire way， every day， down the cracked narrow sidewalk to her house. The wind blew hard on my face， pushing me back. My mother pressed on1）， dragging me by the hand—around the corner， past the church on the left， and straight up to my aunt's front door.

My mother knocked， and I hid behind her. Aunt Marilyn's slow， heavy steps vibrated2） under my feet as I heard her coming to the door： thud， thud， thud—like the dinosaur in Jurassic Park. The door swung3） open and my aunt's pungent4） aroma5）—a unique， acidic scent—rushed out. That's the way you smell when you're fat， I thought. The smell rushed out of the door and into my nose， but it didn't stop there. It wrapped itself around my body， grabbed me， and pulled me inside her house.

A talented artist， she spent much of her time in front of an easel6）. While she skillfully placed thick， luxuriant layers of paint onto her canvas7）， I contemplated8） her unique features. She had long black hair that almost reached her waist and enormous round feet. She was barefoot most of the time because people don't make shoes that big. Her paintings depicted vivid landscapes， full of texture9） and life. How does she know how to paint them？ I wondered. Had she ever been that far from her weary kitchen chair？

Sometimes， I went to the bathroom out of boredom. I lounged10） on the toilet and stared into the stained porcelain bowl11）， my thighs flattened out against the cold rim. I estimated that each thigh was as big around as one of Aunt Marilyn's wrists， and I sat upright in horror. If one of Aunt Marilyn's thighs was as big around as my whole body， then how could she fit onto the toilet？ I eyed the free-standing bathtub： no way could she wedge12） her coagulated13） mass into that！ Could she even fit through the narrow doorway？ I ran from the room in terror.

At lunchtime， we often ate giant cheese sandwiches toasted golden brown. I ate small， timid bites. I knew food like that made you fat—then you smelled， and had to go barefoot， and had to wear skirts you sewed yourself—because people don't make skirts that big. My fear of the woman was nothing compared to my fear of becoming her. I tried to hide it， but the way she looked at me I think she knew.

On hot summer days， my mother and my aunt took all of us cousins out to Ash Lake for a day of swimming and picnicking. I couldn't swim yet， but I liked to pretend I could. I propelled14） myself through the water by pushing off the muddy lake bottom as each arm-stroke completed its downward motion through the water. I kicked， splashed， and basked in the sun-warmed shallows while the other children swam， and our mothers relaxed on the shore， talking.

It was there， amidst the sounds of conversation and laughter that I found out the truth about Aunt Marilyn.

Aunt Marilyn stood up and began to wade15） out into the lake. She walked slowly， resolutely， placing each step firmly on the muddy lake floor. She was thigh-high in the water， but she didn't stop there. She plodded16） on， past where I could reach the bottom， out to where the water reached the exact middle of her body. Her colossal17） skirt billowed18） above the water like a hot air balloon preparing for lift-off. I looked around me， marveling that no one tried to stop her. Aunt Marilyn was in imminent19） danger， but no one else seemed to notice the sudden chill in the air.

Aunt Marilyn smoothed her skirt down into the murky20） water. She leaned back， kicked up her elephantine feet， and floated.

Aunt Marilyn floated！

Goose bumps covered my arms and shoulders. No way to pee， no way to bathe， no shoes to wear； yet my Aunt Marilyn could float better than anyone I'd ever seen. Her body barely immersed， she rose above the water like a majestic， fleshy ship. A rare smile rested on her face as she drifted effortlessly around the lake， finally at home.

I realized then that Aunt Marilyn was not made for land； she was made for water.

She stayed out there for hours while the rest of us played near the shore. I scanned the lake often and each time I would find her floating in a patch of sunlight with the smooth water cradling her body. The beauty of that sight transformed me. Gazing at my aunt， I felt that all was right in the world. I was warm and safe.

When the sun had lowered in the sky， Aunt Marilyn returned to us begrudgingly21）. She forced her mass through the reluctant water. Each step thudded down into the mud， which formed a suction around her feet， begging her to stay. Somehow， she dragged herself out onto the land， where she weighed more than anyone is ever supposed to weigh. She came out of the water， and the water came with her—gallons of it ran off her skirt as she gathered it into her powerful hands and wrung22） it out.

Aunt Marilyn looked up and saw me staring at her. Her large， sad eyes bored23） into mine， and I noticed for the first time how beautiful they were. Her eyes were the color of the sky， softened by a layer of thin， wispy24） clouds. I swallowed hard， overwhelmed by the strangeness of my new understanding， and I continued to stare reverently25） at that captivating26） creature who belonged to the water. I shook with admiration， no longer awed by her size—but awed by her strength. The way she looked at me： I think she knew.

Aunt Marilyn let me see one lonely tear trek its way down her weathered cheek. One tear and that was all. Then she took my hand and together we walked back to the station wagon27）. Her soft hand tenderly encircled mine； I was grateful for its warmth.

媽媽把我?guī)ガ旣惿徱虌尲遥@樣她上班的時(shí)候就有人照看我了。我很怕那個(gè)女人，因?yàn)樗L得太龐大了，超過了任何人應(yīng)有的體型。每天走在通往她家的那條又破又窄的人行道上，我都會(huì)哭一路。大風(fēng)狠狠地刮在我的臉上，把我吹得直往后退。媽媽拽著我的手，急匆匆地向前走。我們拐了個(gè)彎，經(jīng)過路左邊的教堂，徑直來到了姨媽家的大門前。

媽媽敲了敲門，我則躲在了她的身后。我聽見瑪麗蓮姨媽走向門口，她緩慢而又沉重的腳步讓我的腳下開始震動(dòng)——砰、砰、砰，就像電影《侏羅紀(jì)公園》里的恐龍?jiān)谧呗?。門晃晃蕩蕩地開了，姨媽身上那刺鼻的氣味撲面而來——那是一種獨(dú)特的酸味兒。我想，胖子身上就是這種氣味吧。那氣味奪門而出，沖進(jìn)我的鼻孔，但并未就此停住。它裹住我的身體，緊緊地揪住我，一把將我拽進(jìn)了姨媽的房子里。

姨媽是一個(gè)很有天賦的畫家，大多數(shù)時(shí)候都待在一個(gè)畫架前。當(dāng)她熟練地在她的畫布上鋪上一層又一層厚重、絢爛的顏料時(shí)，我卻在一邊細(xì)細(xì)觀察著她獨(dú)特的樣貌。她有一頭幾乎及腰的烏黑長發(fā)和一雙圓滾滾的大腳。大多數(shù)時(shí)候她都赤著腳，因?yàn)闆]有人會(huì)做那么大的鞋子來賣。她畫的都是色彩明快的自然風(fēng)景，韻味十足、生機(jī)盎然。她怎么知道如何畫出這些畫呢？我著實(shí)好奇。她真離開過她廚房里那張乏味的椅子，去過那么遠(yuǎn)的地方嗎？

有時(shí)我實(shí)在無聊了，就去衛(wèi)生間。我懶洋洋地坐在馬桶上，盯著馬桶內(nèi)側(cè)斑駁的瓷面，我的大腿壓在冷冰冰的馬桶邊緣。我估計(jì)我的一條大腿也就瑪麗蓮姨媽的一只手腕那么粗吧，然后我驚恐地坐直了身子。如果瑪麗蓮姨媽的一條大腿和我整個(gè)身體一樣粗，那她怎么才能正好坐在這個(gè)馬桶上呢？我又打量了一下那個(gè)獨(dú)立浴缸：她絕對不可能將她那一身瓷實(shí)的肥肉全塞進(jìn)去！還有，衛(wèi)生間的門那么窄，她能過得來嗎？我嚇得跑出了衛(wèi)生間。

午餐時(shí)，我們經(jīng)常吃的是烤成黃褐色的巨大的奶酪三明治。我小口地、小心翼翼地咬著。我知道那樣的食物會(huì)讓人長胖，然后你身上就會(huì)有味兒，你還得打赤腳、穿你自己做的裙子——因?yàn)闆]有人會(huì)做那么大的裙子來賣。我怕極了成為她這樣的人，相比之下，我對于這個(gè)女人的害怕根本就不值一提。我盡力把這種情緒隱藏起來，但從她看我的眼神來看，我想她知道了。

炎熱的夏天里，媽媽和姨媽會(huì)帶我們幾個(gè)表兄弟姐妹到阿什湖去玩一天，在那里游泳、野餐。我還不會(huì)游泳，但卻喜歡假裝自己會(huì)游。我的手臂每完成一次向下劃水的動(dòng)作，雙腿就在湖底的泥濘里撐一下，就這樣在水里一點(diǎn)一點(diǎn)把自己往前推。在被太陽曬得暖洋洋的淺水灘里，我踢腿、拍水、曬太陽，而其他孩子就在湖里游泳，我們的媽媽們則坐在岸邊休息、聊天。

就是在那兒，在那些談笑聲中，我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個(gè)關(guān)于瑪麗蓮姨媽的真相。

瑪麗蓮姨媽站起身來，開始水走進(jìn)湖里。她的腳步緩慢而堅(jiān)定，每一步都穩(wěn)穩(wěn)地踩在泥濘的湖床上。她走到水沒到她大腿的地方，但并沒有在那里停下來。她邁著沉重的步伐繼續(xù)緩緩向前走去，經(jīng)過了我能夠到湖底的地方，一直走到湖水剛好沒到她身高一半的位置。她那條巨大的裙子在水面上鼓了起來，就像一個(gè)準(zhǔn)備起飛的熱氣球。我四處張望，卻驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)沒人試圖去阻止她?，旣惿徱虌屟劭粗鸵萑腚U(xiǎn)境，可除了我之外，似乎沒有別人注意到空氣中那突如其來的絲絲寒意。

瑪麗蓮姨媽把裙子朝渾濁的湖水里壓了壓。然后她身體后仰，向上踢起她那和大象一樣粗壯的雙腳，浮了起來。

瑪麗蓮姨媽浮了起來！

我胳膊上和肩膀上頓時(shí)滿是雞皮疙瘩。沒法小便，沒法洗澡，沒鞋可穿，但我的瑪麗蓮姨媽卻比我見過的任何人漂浮得都要好。她的身體幾乎全都露在水面上，就像一艘巨大的肉船浮在水面之上。她毫不費(fèi)力地在湖里四處漂來漂去，終于找到了歸宿，她的臉上露出了難得一見的笑容。

就在那時(shí)我意識(shí)到，瑪麗蓮姨媽天生不適合在地面上生活，她是為水而生的。

她在那兒待了好幾個(gè)小時(shí)，而我們其他人就在湖岸附近玩耍。我時(shí)不時(shí)地掃視一下湖面，每一次都發(fā)現(xiàn)她浮在水面上，身上有一縷陽光灑落，平靜的湖水輕搖著她的身體。那幅美麗的景象改變了我的觀念。我凝視著姨媽，感覺世上的一切都是合理的。我很溫暖，也很安全。

直到天上的太陽已經(jīng)西沉，瑪麗蓮姨媽才心不甘情不愿地回到我們這邊。她拖著那一身肥肉從戀戀不舍的湖水中走出來，每一步都重重地砸在湖底的淤泥里，淤泥裹住她的雙腳，形成了一股吸力，似乎是在請求她留下來。也不知她用了什么辦法，她終于將自己拽出水面，上了岸，又變回了那個(gè)體重超出常人的龐然大物。她從湖中走出時(shí)，湖水也跟著她出來了——當(dāng)她收攏裙子并用她那有力的雙手將裙子擰干時(shí)，有好幾加侖的水從裙子里流了出來。

瑪麗蓮姨媽抬頭時(shí)看見我正盯著她。她那雙憂傷的大眼睛直勾勾地盯著我，我第一次發(fā)現(xiàn)，原來她的眼睛是那么漂亮。她的眼睛是天空蒙上一層稀薄云層時(shí)顯得更為柔和的那種顏色。我使勁咽了一口唾沫，因?yàn)槲业倪@個(gè)新發(fā)現(xiàn)是那么的奇特，令我有些不知所措。我繼續(xù)虔誠地盯著這個(gè)令我著迷的、屬于水里的“生物”。我的敬佩之情讓我激動(dòng)得渾身發(fā)抖，我不再畏懼她的“大塊頭”，而開始驚嘆于她的“大本領(lǐng)”。從她看著我的眼神中，我想她知道了。

瑪麗蓮姨媽那飽經(jīng)風(fēng)霜的臉上緩緩流下了一滴孤單的淚水，她讓我看到了這一幕。一滴眼淚，就那么多。然后她牽起我的手，我們一起走回到了旅行車那里。她柔軟的手溫柔地包裹著我的手，手心的溫暖讓我內(nèi)心充滿了感激。

1.press on： 急忙往前走

2.vibrate [va??bre?t] vi. 震動(dòng)，顫動(dòng)

3.swing [sw??] vi. 擺動(dòng)，搖擺

4.pungent [?p?nd??nt] adj. （氣味、味道等）有刺激性的

5.aroma [??r??m?] n. 氣味

6.easel [?i?zl] n. 畫架

7.canvas [?k?nv?s] n. （一塊）帆布畫布

8.contemplate

[?k?nt?mple?t] vt. （沉思地）注視，凝視

9.texture [?tekst??（r）] n. （藝術(shù)作品等的）神韻

10.lounge [la?nd?] vi. 懶洋洋地坐

11.bowl [b??l] n. （抽水馬桶的）桶身

12.wedge [wed?] vt. 擠入，塞入

13.coagulate

[k????ɡjule?t] vt. 使凝結(jié)；使凝固

14.propel [pr??pel] vt. 推進(jìn)

15.wade [we?d] vi. 涉，

16.plod [pl?d] vi. 沉重緩慢地走

17.colossal [k??l?sl] adj. 巨大的，奇大無比的

18.billow [?b?l??] vi. 鼓起

19.imminent [??m?n?nt] adj. 臨近的；即將發(fā)生的

20.murky [?m??ki] adj. 骯臟的

21.begrudgingly [b??ɡr?d???li] adv. 勉強(qiáng)地，不情愿地

22.wring [r??] vt. 擰出，絞出

23.bore [b??（r）] vi. 盯住看

24.wispy [?w?spi] adj. 縹緲的；纖弱的

25.reverently [?rev?r?ntli] adv. 恭敬地，虔誠地

26.captivate [?k?pt?ve?t] vt. 使入迷；迷惑

27.station wagon： 旅行車。車內(nèi)空間比轎車要大，可以放更多行李和乘坐更多人，適合旅行時(shí)使用，在歐洲是一種很受歡迎的車型。