點滴分享，幸福加分

This is not a story about sharing in a big way. This is not a story about using any of the new and exciting organizations for sharing， or about creating one. This is a story about the little， old-fashioned ways we all know how to share yet rarely think about.

My ex-husband left my daughter and me about four years ago， and we rarely hear from him. He has a lot of problems to deal with before he can take on the 1）responsibilities of fatherhood. I have no 2）grudge against him. Still， this means Im one of the many struggling single mothers， who are mostly painted as tax-sucking 3）leeches and 4）inadequate parents.

The life I lead and am able to provide for my daughter would not exist without sharing.

Families Have Shared...

Families opened up their homes to us， so I never had to choose between paying 5）rent and paying for childcare. In the early days， they would have been about the same 6）amount per month. This meant I could continue to 7）pursue a degree instead of 8）dropping out and working two or three jobs which would have barely covered expenses anyhow.

My Friends and I Share with Each Other...

Every week， I help a couple clean their home， washing dishes and floors and 9）sinks and 10）tubs. In return， they take me 11）grocery shopping for 12）pantry 13）staples like oatmeal， nuts， honey， and pasta. Then we all settle into dinner at their place， share a meal， and a couple of beers， with 14）popsicles for the kids. Thats more 15）nourishing to me than the groceries I just earned， to be honest. Ill watch their kids so they can go on date night； theyll watch mine whenever I find myself in need of childcare.

I have friends who make homemade jams and 16）distribute them to all their friends， just out of a desire to give. I have friends who do the same with homemade 17）laundry soap， and for the same reason. The 18）counselor at the clinic I work in brings 19）produce from her garden every week during the growing season for everyone who works there.

A lot of my friends are spread around the country. One friend has a daughter three years older than mine and ships her 20）outgrown clothes to me. Another has a daughter three years younger than mine， and I， in turn， mail her the 21）hand-me-downs in wearable 22）condition. Some of us send small care packages to each other filled with things only 23）available in our particular locations.

What I share is a willingness to share and 24）pitch in： Ill 25）contribute to any 26）odd job； I volunteer at my kids school； I lead a Girl Scouts 27）troop and try to focus our activities on the importance of community， contributions and sharing， which are all 28）in line with what Girl Scouts encourage anyway； Im a good writer， so I help friends with 29）polishing 30）resumes， 31）application letters and school papers. I dont write these things for them， of course. I show them how to look at their own writing critically； walk them through the editing process， so that theyll walk away with a new skill.

And I listen. 32）Constructive listening is a lost art. Thats why we pay counselors to do it. I dont try to 33）counsel my friends； I just listen to their stories， and show that Im listening—that I hear them—through my body language and the questions I ask. So many of us just need to share our stories and so many of us could benefit from hearing the story of another.

Almost none of this is organized. These are all just little exchanges that have arisen through being open to receive and being 34）desirous of giving. It isnt just the economic structures that have to change in order to spread and grow sharing； its the attitude with which we walk through our lives. I used to be so 35）resistant to asking for or accepting help， because I feared I had nothing to give. What I have learned these last four years is that we all have something to share， and that， often， receiving is as important as giving.

None of us stands alone， none of us can do anything alone， and all of us have something to give...even when its just our story， or our attention.

這個故事要講的不是那種鄭重其事的分享，也不是要講通過某個令人興奮的新機構(gòu)來實現(xiàn)分享，更不是要創(chuàng)辦一個。這個故事要說的是那些與人分享的“古老”小方法——雖然每個人都知道，卻很少有人想到。

大約四年前，我的前夫離開了我和女兒。我們很少聽到他的消息。他有很多問題需要處理，所以未能承擔身為人父的責任。雖然我對他并沒有懷恨在心，但這仍意味著，我成了眾多苦苦掙扎的單身媽媽之一，而這些人往往被形容為吸食稅金的水蛭和不合格的父母。

如果不是因為人與人之間的分享，我現(xiàn)在所過的，以及我能為女兒提供的生活，便不可能存在了。

家庭之間的分享……

很多家庭向我們敞開了家門，所以我從來不必在付房租和請保姆之間進行取舍。最初那段時間，每月的房租和請保姆的費用大致相同。這便意味著我可以繼續(xù)攻讀學(xué)位，不必中途輟學(xué)，也無需打兩三份工——掙的錢還幾乎無法養(yǎng)家糊口。

朋友之間的共享……

每個星期，我都要到一對夫婦家做清潔，洗碗、拖地、清理水槽和浴缸等等。作為回報，他們會帶我去買可儲存的主食，比如燕麥、堅果、蜂蜜和面食。然后大家就在他們家共進晚餐，喝點啤酒，給孩子們吃點冰棍。坦白說，這比我剛才賺取的雜貨更有意義。我會幫他們照看孩子，這樣他們晚上就可以出去約會；而每當我需要人照看孩子的時候，他們也會幫我的忙。

我有些朋友會自制果醬分給所有朋友，僅僅出于一種給予的愿望。還有一些朋友會自制洗衣皂分給大家，也是出于同樣的原因。每個星期，我工作的那家診所的咨詢師都會帶自家花園出產(chǎn)的時令蔬果來分給同事。

我有很多朋友分布于全國各地。其中一個朋友的女兒比我女兒大三歲，她會把她女兒穿不下的衣服寄給我。另一個朋友的女兒比我女兒小三歲，所以我也會把我女兒退下來、但還能穿的衣服寄給她。我們有些人會把本地特有的一些東西打包成愛心滿滿的小包裹，寄給對方。

我所分享的是一種分享和參與的意愿：我會為任何零散工作出一份力；我自愿參加孩子學(xué)校的工作；我?guī)ьI(lǐng)一支女童子軍，嘗試在活動中突顯社區(qū)、貢獻和分享的重要性，這些都符合女童子軍所提倡的宗旨；我擅長寫作，所以也幫朋友們潤色簡歷、求職信和?？蟆．斎?，我不是替他們代筆，我只是告訴他們?nèi)绾我耘械难酃馊徱曌约簩懙臇|西，陪他們走過編輯的歷程，好讓他們最后可以掌握一種新的技能。

我也會傾聽。建設(shè)性的傾聽是一種失傳的藝術(shù)，所以我們才需要花錢請咨詢師來做這件事。我不會嘗試勸告我的朋友；我只是聽他們講故事，并通過肢體語言和提問，讓他們看到我在傾聽他們——我聽到了他們的心聲。其實我們很多人只是需要有人能分享自己的故事，而且很多人都可以從另一個人的故事中獲益。

這一切幾乎都是沒有經(jīng)過組織的。這些都只是由開懷領(lǐng)受和渴望給予而生的小小的交流而已。重點不僅僅在于必須改變經(jīng)濟結(jié)構(gòu)以傳播和增加共享，而在于我們活著所抱持的態(tài)度。以前，我對求助于人和受助于人十分抗拒，因為我怕自己沒有什么可以給予。但在過去四年中，我學(xué)到的是我們都有可以與人分享的東西，而且，接受往往和給予同樣重要。

沒有人是孤立的，沒有人能夠單槍匹馬做任何事，我們所有人都有一些東西可以給予別人……即使那只是我們自己的故事或者關(guān)注的目光。

如何通過分享增加幸福感？

追求幸福是人類的本性。本文將教你一個實現(xiàn)幸福的方法——與人分享。

第1步：想想有什么可以與人分享。這可以是任何東西，從有形的物品到無形的資產(chǎn)，都可以分享。比如，你有一輛幾乎從來不用的自行車，那么為何不與真正需要自行車的人分享呢？如果你是某個方面的專家，你也可以與別人分享你的技能?？赡苄允菬o窮無盡的！

第2步：找到可以分享的人。也許你心里已經(jīng)有人選了，無論是朋友、家人、同事或是在咖啡廳遇到的陌生人。如果你此時此刻想不到什么人與你分享，或者你想冒一冒險，你也可以試試在網(wǎng)上找。

第3步：享受分享的過程。別忘了整件事情的重點就在于增加幸福感。

第4步：體驗幸?！，F(xiàn)在是為你所做的善行感到高興的時候了。事實上，已有科學(xué)研究證明，在分享時你會感到更加幸福。這是因為，當你處于一種積極的社會關(guān)系時，血液中的內(nèi)啡肽和多巴胺水平會顯著提高。這些神經(jīng)傳遞素能令人產(chǎn)生滿足和放松的感覺，從而讓你感覺更加幸福！