心碎時(shí)分

As a witness， i watch my beloved Thunder to lost the deciding game of their Western Conference semifinal series. I don’t know how many seconds left when kevin durant take that shot——zero for all anyone will remember.

作為見證者，我親眼目睹了我所鐘愛的雷霆在西部半決賽中輸?shù)袅藳Q定命運(yùn)的一場比賽。我不記得杜蘭特出手時(shí)比賽還剩多少時(shí)間——對所有記住這場比賽的人來說，一切都不重要了。

I don’t know what happened. Tony Allen threw a towel， it was weird， it was horrible. At one point near the end I felt like I was inside a collapsing star and like my eardrums might explode and like （no exaggeration） I was coming down with a profound case of tinnitus. I was there at the Chesapeake Energy Arena① in Oklahoma City as my beloved Thunder lost the deciding game of their Western Conference semifinal series against the Memphis Grizzlies on Wednesday night. The Thunder lost the series 4-1 and lost the game by four， 88-84， nearly fighting their way back after spending most of the second half in a doubledigit crater. They lost because my favorite player， Kevin Durant， missed the most Kevin Durant shot in this and all possible worlds， a slightly crooked 16-foot jumper from the left wing， which would have tied the game.

我不知道發(fā)生了什么。托尼·阿倫朝場內(nèi)扔了塊毛巾，這是個(gè)奇怪的動(dòng)作，也是個(gè)很糟糕的舉動(dòng)。最后有那么一瞬間，我覺得自己身處一個(gè)正在坍塌的星球上，我的鼓膜都快炸了，我感覺自己要在巨大的耳鳴聲（毫不夸張）中倒下。周三晚，我其實(shí)身在俄克拉何馬城的切薩皮克能量球館，目睹了我心愛的雷霆在西部半決賽決定命運(yùn)的比賽里輸給了孟菲斯灰熊。雷霆以1比4輸?shù)袅讼盗匈?，那場比賽，他們?4比88告負(fù)。整個(gè)下半場雷霆幾乎都以兩位數(shù)的比分落后，但他們幾乎拼了回來，差點(diǎn)就能填上那個(gè)坑。雷霆輸球是因?yàn)槲易钕矚g的球員凱文·杜蘭特投丟了一次“最杜蘭特”的投籃，一個(gè)在左翼16英尺（4.8米）的跳投，這本是可以扳平比分的投籃。

There’s a good chance this is about to be the worst game recap you’ve ever read. I want to be clear about that up front. I forgot to take any notes， and while I did spend $5 on a commemorative popcorn tub during a TV timeout in the third quarter， I threw it away in a daze as I left the arena. I had tucked all the info sheets that the Thunder’s press office handed out to members of the credentialed media， one of which I was， inside the tub’s commemorative outer ring， so now I have no idea how many shots KD missed （it was a lot） or how many times Zach Randolph did disturbing and unfriendly things to the Thunder defense （more than 9 million） or exactly what shade of disbelieving agony swept over Serge Ibaka’s face when he fouled out late in the fourth quarter （I believe the scorer officially recorded it as \"tribulation mauve\"）.

這也許是你讀過最差勁的比賽回顧。有一點(diǎn)我要提前聲明，我忘記做比賽記錄了，而且在第三節(jié)的電視暫停中我還花5美元買了份紀(jì)念版的爆米花。當(dāng)我頭昏腦漲地離開球館時(shí)，這東西被我扔進(jìn)了垃圾箱。我把雷霆公關(guān)發(fā)給媒體的——我就是其中之一——所有跟比賽有關(guān)的信息都塞進(jìn)了紀(jì)念版爆米花的外包裝里，所以我現(xiàn)在也不知道杜蘭特到底投丟了多少球（一定很多），不知道扎克·蘭多夫到底有多少次讓雷霆的防守吃癟（一定比900萬次多），也不知道當(dāng)賽爾日·伊巴卡在第四節(jié)最后被罰下時(shí)，他臉上驚訝和憤怒的表情到底到了什么程度（我相信統(tǒng)計(jì)員會(huì)把那種表情記錄成“痛苦得發(fā)紫”）。

I don’t know any of that stuff. We’re going to have to make do with what’s at hand.

以上情況都是我所不了解的，我們下面要聊的則是我所了解的。

Here’s something： When I pulled out of the parking lot it was midnight and raining and there were police lights flashing all over. Long lines of cars black-holed it into the distance， and little red and blue lights twirled here and there in the vista， as though the traffic grid were going EMERGENCY […] EMERGENCY[…] EMERGENCY. I was listening to a grainy AM radio broadcast of Thunder coach Scott Brooks’s postgame press conference. He was talking about Durant， and what he was saying was，\"The thing about Kevin is I live with his decisions because he has a pure heart.\"

當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了以下這些事情：當(dāng)我開車離開球館停車場時(shí)已經(jīng)是半夜，那時(shí)下著雨，周圍到處閃著警燈。長長的車隊(duì)盡頭消失在了黑色的夜幕，延綿不絕的長隊(duì)中到處閃著紅色和藍(lán)色的燈光，交通指示牌上顯示著：緊急情況……緊急情況……緊急情況。我聽著深夜電臺節(jié)目里播放著的雷霆主教練斯科特·布魯克斯的賽后采訪。他在談?wù)摱盘m特，而他說的話是，“關(guān)于凱文，我認(rèn)可他的決定，因?yàn)樗幸活w純潔的心靈?！?/p>

I live with his decisions because he has a pure heart. The terrible thing about losing is that it makes you sentimental. Winning makes you sentimental， too， but mostly because it fills you with an exaggerated love for the people who helped you along the way. Losing makes you want to defend the people you love who’ve disappointed you. But you can’t say that stuff， because to the people who don’t feel the loss the way you feel it， you’ll sound like a moron， or worse， a mystic. When you lose， I thought as I joined the crawl toward the on-ramp， and you want to hold on to the past that you’re afraid is about to slip away from you， you have to say the opposite of what you mean. What Brooks should have told the media was not \"Kevin Durant is pure of heart\"； it was \"sports is the worst and it sucks and I hate it.\"

我認(rèn)可他的決定，因?yàn)樗屑儩嵉男撵`，但輸?shù)舯荣愃a(chǎn)生的問題是，那會(huì)讓你變得多愁善感。贏球也會(huì)讓你如此，但大多數(shù)時(shí)候你的心會(huì)被一路幫助你的人所充溢的愛填滿。而輸球后，你會(huì)想維護(hù)那些你愛的，但又讓你失望的人，可那些話你沒法說出口，因?yàn)樵谀切┖湍銓κЮ捶ú煌娜搜劾铮憧瓷先ジ装V一樣，或者更糟，你就是個(gè)拜上帝教主義者。當(dāng)你輸球時(shí)，我一邊想著這個(gè)，一邊加入了冗長的車流，你會(huì)想去把握住過去那些你擔(dān)心會(huì)失去的東西，你必須說一些跟你本意完全相反的話。所以布魯克斯對媒體說的不該是“杜蘭特有純潔的心靈”，他的意思是“體育是最差勁的，太惡心了，我痛恨這些?！?/p>

It’s a crazy thing， being in a crowd whose team is clinging to the brink the way the Thunder were Wednesday night — the way they have been， really， since Russell Westbrook went out with a knee injury in late April. Crowds are generally either psychotic or ecstatic， but sometimes they reach a level that’s beyond either of those categories.

和一群主隊(duì)如雷霆周三晚上這樣，身處懸崖的球迷在一起是件很瘋狂的事，事實(shí)上，雷霆身處的境地，自從4月下旬拉塞爾·韋斯布魯克因膝傷報(bào)廢后就如此了。大體上，球迷們要么精神錯(cuò)亂，要么高興得發(fā)狂，還有些時(shí)候，他們則會(huì)達(dá)到超越這兩種狀態(tài)的新層級。

The pummeling bass and cosmic-Tourette’s light shows of NBA team introductions are basically designed to send your brain into a state of extreme hysteria. There were a few moments when the Thunder crowd got fairly quiet — when the Grizzlies were up 14， when Kendrick Perkins would get singed on an entry pass and then scowl like he was putting together furniture — but mostly they just roared.

NBA球隊(duì)入場儀式時(shí)，不斷敲擊你耳膜的貝司聲和炫目的燈光表演，目的就是讓你的大腦陷入極端興奮。當(dāng)然，也有那么幾段時(shí)間雷霆的球迷會(huì)變得相當(dāng)安靜——當(dāng)灰熊領(lǐng)先14分，肯特里克·帕金斯沒接到向內(nèi)的傳球，他的臉皺得好像他在搬家具一樣時(shí)——而其他大多數(shù)時(shí)候，雷霆球迷都在吼叫。

They roared when the Thunder jogged out to a 7-0 lead， they roared when the of-late-erratic Ibaka hit some early jumpers … and OK， there was an anxiety in the roar from pretty early on， when it became clear that something was really off with Durant.1 But come on， it’s Kevin Durant， he’ll find his range；2 so they roared encouragement when the Grizzlies wrangled a five-point lead that lasted for most of the second quarter， and they kept roaring as the deficit grew. And then， when OKC started its run in the last couple of minutes， it got flying-saucer loud， category-shattering loud. Things seem decided on TV a long time before they do in person. I don’t know why that is， but in person， it’s easier to hope. The people who are actually in Mudville never expect Casey②to strike out. Casey never strikes out！ It’s only when you’re reading the poem from home that you see it coming a mile away.

當(dāng)雷霆取得7比0的領(lǐng)先時(shí)，他們在吼叫。當(dāng)最近表現(xiàn)不好的伊巴卡在比賽開始后不久投進(jìn)幾個(gè)跳投時(shí)，他們在吼叫……好吧，其實(shí)在球迷最初的怒吼聲中就有那么一絲焦慮，之后越來越明顯則是因?yàn)槎盘m特有點(diǎn)不對勁。1. 拜托，那是凱文·杜蘭特，他總會(huì)找到手感的；2.所以當(dāng)灰熊取得5分領(lǐng)先并且在第二節(jié)大多數(shù)時(shí)候保持住這個(gè)領(lǐng)先時(shí)，他們的吼聲里開始有鼓勵(lì)的成分，而當(dāng)分差越拉越大時(shí)，他們還在吼叫。當(dāng)雷霆在比賽最后幾分鐘發(fā)起反撲后，吼聲大得幾乎可以震碎一切。從電視上看，結(jié)果其實(shí)很早就確定了，但在現(xiàn)場的感覺卻不一樣。我不知道為什么會(huì)這樣，但人總會(huì)很容易就心懷希望。棒球世界里的人永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)認(rèn)為凱西會(huì)被三振。凱西永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)被三振！只有當(dāng)你在家讀這首詩時(shí)，你才會(huì)脫離那樣的場景回到現(xiàn)實(shí)中。

What if it were actually possible to be pure of heart？ If your motives and your values were perfectly aligned， wouldn’t you make really good decisions？ The shot Durant missed was one he makes all the time， one we’ve all seen him hit to end games. That’s not to say that there couldn’t have been a better way to do it， and in any case the crowd roars for outcomes， not for probabilities.

The way they have been， really， since russell Westbrook went out with a knee injury in late April. Crowds are generally either psychotic or ecstatic， but sometimes they reach a level that’s beyond either of those categories.

雷霆身處的境地，自從4月下旬拉塞爾·韋斯布魯克因膝傷報(bào)廢后就如此了。大體上，球迷們要么精神錯(cuò)亂，要么高興得發(fā)狂，還有些時(shí)候，他們則會(huì)達(dá)到超越這兩種狀態(tài)的新層級。

如果一個(gè)人真能擁有純潔心靈？如果你的動(dòng)機(jī)、價(jià)值觀都完美無瑕，難道你就會(huì)做出真正好的決定？杜蘭特投丟的球，是他總能投進(jìn)的那種，是我們見證過他常用來終結(jié)比賽的，但這并不是說，就沒有更好的辦法。任何情況下，球迷都是為結(jié)果歡呼，而不是為可能性歡呼。

None of that has anything to do with recapping the game， except as an aid to illustrate how that one moment， when KD’s jumper didn’t quite go in， when all that sound just wasn’t there anymore， could knock you emotionally sideways.

一切都跟回顧比賽無關(guān)，它只能幫你解釋，在那個(gè)瞬間，當(dāng)杜蘭特沒投進(jìn)，當(dāng)所有的聲音消失時(shí)，這一切足以讓你的情緒陷入低谷。

Right now， minutes after that loss， what I want to say about the Thunder is this： There was a time in sports when it was easy. When being a fan didn’t mean proving your loyalty through suffering but also didn’t mean taking the team for granted. When you could show up and scream your throat raw and watch the unicycle acrobat catch plates on her forehead at halftime and have T-shirts cannoned at you and most of the time leave feeling good， because even if they lost they’d done at least as well as anyone could have expected.

就在現(xiàn)在，就在雷霆輸球后不久，我想說的有關(guān)雷霆的內(nèi)容如下：體育中總有那么一刻很單純的時(shí)刻。當(dāng)球迷并不意味著要用痛苦來證明自己的忠誠、也不意味著能把球隊(duì)的成績看作理所當(dāng)然。你來到現(xiàn)場，喊破嗓子，在半場休息時(shí)看雜技演員接盤子，看著T恤發(fā)射器對準(zhǔn)自己，這會(huì)讓你在大多數(shù)時(shí)候都感覺很好，因?yàn)榧幢闱蜿?duì)輸球了，他們至少像所有人所希望的那樣，做好了本職工作。

That probably changes now， or if not now then soon， because as soon as you expect to be happy in sports you’ll find that it gets harder and harder. A fan base can only stay innocent for so long. Suffering can be innocent， but resentment can’t be， and in the late talk-radio era resentment is bound to follow suffering sooner or later. But for a while， in the early years of Kevin Durant’s career， in Oklahoma City， it was innocent. I’d like to remember that — that it happened. I’m sure this isn’t the only time it’s happened， but it’s the only time it’s happened to me. I wish everyone who loves sports could experience something like it.

現(xiàn)在，這一切大概都變了。即便現(xiàn)在不變，很快也會(huì)變。因?yàn)橐坏┠阆Ｍ隗w育中得到快樂，你就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)這種快樂越來越難得到。球迷們只能在這么一段時(shí)間里保證單純性。經(jīng)受痛苦可以很單純，但怨恨卻不能，在深夜的電臺談話節(jié)目里，怨恨總會(huì)在痛苦之后，或早或晚出現(xiàn)。不過有這么一段時(shí)間，在杜蘭特職業(yè)生涯的早期，在俄克拉何馬城，這一切都是單純的。我很喜歡回憶那段時(shí)光——那段確實(shí)存在的時(shí)光。我相信，這次的情況并不是唯一的，但卻是唯一發(fā)生在我身上的，我希望每一個(gè)熱愛體育的人都能有類似的經(jīng)歷。

But sorry， that’s the loss talking. Nothing is innocent. It only seems that way because you don’t know it’s not， or because you ignore the fact that you do know.

但對不起，那都是輸球后的絮叨。沒有什么東西是單純的。一切只是看上去是那樣，因?yàn)槟阒狼闆r總是正好相反，或是因?yàn)槟銦o視了自己所了解到的事實(shí)真相。